Extra: Arms

When they were children, he always looked out for her. Things were simpler then. Whenever she scrapped her knees or fell out of a tree he was there. When she cried, his arms always wrapped around her tightly until she calmed down. He hated seeing her cry and he made it his duty to make sure she rarely did. He did a pretty good job, at least, for a child.

The first time she consoled his tears was when he was chosen. He remembered the moment clearly. The red flame engulfed him and he was frozen like a statue, too scared to move. Everything after that was a blur. There were celebrations and feasts but he never understood why. At night, all he could see was a giant, winged, red beast roaring angrily. Then they came for him, telling him it was time to meet the beast in his nightmares. Terrified, he kicked and screamed as they dragged him to the temple. But right before he was thrown inside, she ran up to him, calling out his name. She threw her arms around him and held him tightly. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. He was reminded that he was going into this temple not for him, but for her. He was going to face the beast so that she would be safe. That realization was his only consolation.

After that, things were different. He saw her for their usual studies; basic combat, history, arithmetic, literature, basic magic. Then she would run off to the court apothecaries, dignitaries, and stayed by their father's side. He went to the temple, forced to spend time with the ancient animal inside of him. But always, without fail, when he heard her crying in the middle of the night over the pressure placed on her, his arms were always there. When he tossed and turned in the night, his body painfully transitioning to the beast, her arms were there too.

As they grew older, she stopped crying at night and he stopped tossing and turning. She went into the terrible and glorious spotlight, becoming more and more like their father every day. He remained in her shadow, slowly coming into harmony with the beast. He was fine with this arrangement; that was the way it was supposed to be. Words replaced his arms more often than not in counsel and advice. Most of the time that sufficed.

But when he was forced to watch his precious sister whipped mercilessly, when he watched her burn down villages, when he watched her quell rebellions, he was there holding her at night keeping the terrors away. Sometimes, he felt his arms weren't enough to keep her safe from the turmoil inside of her. He could see her slipping away from him as every step closer to the throne caused her heart to harden little by little. He feared that she would become heartless like their father and even worse, that she would grow to shun his arms.

Then she fell in love. He thought it was a bad idea, he never liked that man. At first their love seemed true and he figured his suspicions were caused from jealousy. She no longer needed his arms. Then the rumors of betrayal began to creep around the corner. He investigated the whispers only to discover they were true, but his sister was blinded. She wanted to believe that the man's arms were her security blanket and comfort from the pains she suffered. So, he set the man up and when she was faced with the truth, she cried for days.

Her pride wounded and her heart broken, he held his dear sister wondering if there was anything he could have done to prevent her pain. He thought time would help, but the man offered false promises and she fell into a vicious cycle, desperately hoping that things would work out. He was saddened as he held her, on again and off again, wondering why love's arms were so cruel to her. When she finally had the strength to break free of that man's grasp, he was proud of her. He knew that she would heal and someday learn to love again.

Then she went to war. She didn't come home.

He nearly killed his broken father upon learning what had happened to her. He demanded to be let through, to save her from the damnable prison she was trapped in. She was his charge, the one person he was officially designated to keep safe out of duty to his kingdom and out of the love he bore for her. Who knew what unspeakable things that trash barbarian king was doing to her? Would she kill him and run home? More importantly who would hold her as she cried, mourning the loss of her crown and her life?

When he received the invitation some odd months later, he set out immediately. Seeing that the barbarian wasn't grotesque looking, he was relieved. At least she wasn't living with a complete monster. He was disgusted with the dungeon she was living in, but he was shocked when he saw her. She always had a taste for finer things, but now she was wearing a rather plain dress, no flowers in her hair or large trinkets on her wrists and neck. Somehow, there she stood happy, smiling, and laughing genuinely with her captor.

This puzzled him, and he watched their interactions closely. They bantered back and forth, caught in their own world for a moment as though they had known each other all their lives. The barbarian king was rough in speech and gesture but with the way the king looked at her, he knew that the king actually cared. In fact, the demon king cared her enough to allow her to take him to the human world and show him the wonders their people so badly desired to see. They went to the city, the country, and the sea.

She talked about how the barbarian respected her and how he didn't want to be tied to her either. The barbarian gave her space and time to cry and mourn and gave her freedom around the fortress. She told him about her work lab, the library, and the large, odd family she had inherited. He didn't understand how this could have happened but there she was, glowing in a way that she used to so long ago. How could such a barbarian have done this? How did her captor restore her?

He mentioned that he wanted her to come back, to go home. Their father was ill and things were spiraling downward. They needed their leader, they needed her. She began to cry, saddened by the deteriorating events. He put his arms around her as he always had but this time, she pushed them away.

She told him that she couldn't just leave the barbarian king. She made an oath and she intended to keep it. The king never wronged her and they were just really starting to know each other. The barbarian had treated her so kindly and with such care that it would hurt her to just disappear.

He suspected there was more to it, something deeper than that, but he didn't push it. Instead, he decided to leave his sister alone. His spirits were lifted in knowing that here, away from the pressure, politics, and scrutiny of elfin court, she found happiness. So, he warned the king about the man who had treated her heart cruelly and wished his sister the best.

It was all he could do. She no longer needed his arms.

He supposed there was always a time for that, when a brother's arms are substituted for a lover's and he was glad for it. He knew he could trust the king. He received letters from his sister with pictures and words, expressing her joys and minimal troubles. He wrote her back and left out the heartache as their father's health deteriorated and the nearing dogfight for the inheritance of the throne. Instead he told her about how his arms had found another to wrap around, a woman who shared the same burden he did.

Then, just before civil war broke out, she returned. The whole world seemed frozen after she threw the doors open. Her body was dripping wet from the rain and her fists were balled up tightly but nothing was more guarded than her face. The solid stone made his heart break. She remained a wall for a few days, but, finally, his arms went around her once again as she cracked and sobbed.

Months went by and she slowly pieced herself back together but she was not the same as he remembered. She was still just as arrogant and vain, but her heart was softer in places that it had not been before. She began to think clearly and on her own, rather than being a carbon copy of their father. He could not help but thank the king because somehow, the king made her stronger and more resolute. Reasserting her claim to the throne helped her heart tremendously and after their father passed away she was crowned Queen in a beautiful ceremony. But on a day that called for much rejoicing, he saw that her heart would never fully heal. When she was finally alone she entered his arms again wishing that her husband was by her side to see her in all her glory and power.

She pushed forward, past her pain. She was too busy to miss her king and even though she never forgot him, she moved on. She worked relentlessly day and night to straighten the kingdom and repair the damage from their father's rule, but it wasn't enough. They needed an alliance desperately or a war they could not win would break out. When the second son of the northern human king stepped forward and offered his hand to her, a powerful and renowned wizard, she had no choice but to accept.

He held her the day of the wedding but she did not cry. Maybe she no longer had tears left to shed. She told him how she hoped that, one day, she would see her king again. That she wanted to always remain his, as he was always present in her heart. But those words did not deter reality. He watched her heart shatter once more as she slipped the teal ring off her finger and into her treasure box.

Then, once more, his arms were replaced with another's.

This time, however, it was different. She had to learn to accept the human's arms. But slowly, the light returned to her eyes, true laughter in her voice, and a genuine bright smile. He became the bright spot in her life when everyone else deemed her to be tainted, impure, and possibly unworthy of her crown. The queen and king ignored them and continued to rule.

Over time however, the happy couple was plagued with misfortune of losing children. At first, they pushed and remained strong but after many miscarriages, the third still born, and the near death of his sister, even she began to listen to the whispers that darkness was planted inside of her from the barbarian king. After all, the two fang marks still resided on her neck no matter how many years passed. Her husband, who had been so loyal and patient, finally broke. When her husband left without a word, his arms went around her again as she sobbed and screamed.

He held her as she cried at night again, mourning the loss of her husband, the deterioration of their political alliances, and the false whispers of courtiers around her. Slowly, she began to regain hope and wrote to her husband often, but he knew it was no use. When they got word her husband was deathly ill, they set off together immediately. He dealt with the guards while she ran to her husband's side. But then he heard the screams, shouts, and a baby's cry. When he rushed to her side she was covered in blood, her husband's head in her lap and woman with a dagger in her heart sprawled on the ground.

He wanted to put his arms around her and carry her away, somewhere safe from everything, but he didn't know how. Silently, he followed her to the crying baby and he knew he would never forget the image of her red stained arms cradling the bastard child.

As the child grew, he noticed that she made sure her arms went around the child often, unlike their father. He too allowed his arms to circle the child, and the child grew into a strong, healthy young man. But as he grew older he began to ask questions about the whispers and odd glances, and he knew her arms would not be enough anymore. Just before he became of age, she told the child the truth, and he left in a rage, cursing her, cursing all of them. His heart broke seeing the child he helped raise leave this way, but the child ignored his words and his arms. She did not cry, but he put his arms around her anyway.

The years were long and tough after that. They began to lose all alliances with the humans, and soon dragons and elves became targets. She didn't need his arms then, just his words and support. She and the other leaders decided to leave for a land where there was no need for kings and queens. She organized the military and defenses, making sure their people were able to escape. He stayed in the final battle, with the woman he loved and the others who inhabited a beast. He knew he was preparing to die so his people would live, but he didn't want her to die too. But then it came, sweeping down from the winds, one of the last of his kind. It offered her a terrible deal, to take on the burden that he would never wish upon her, and she accepted.

His arms held her tightly as she screamed when the beast's soul entered her, and even after they merged, he did not want to release her from his arms. She broke out of his arms, fast, furious, and screaming for blood and vengeance. The humans were not expecting her and she alone was able to turn the tide. Though they lost their home, he would at least be able to put his arms around her again.

But she didn't want his arms or his words anymore. She refused his arms when she tossed and turned in the night, wrestling with the beast inside her, and she refused his words when she got into arguments with the council. Eventually, she told him she was leaving to travel and get away. His arms went around her again, but he wasn't sure if she felt them at all.

During her absence, he focused on the woman he loved and starting a family. He thought of his sister often, wondering if she found someone's arms out in the world beyond their sanctuary. But after a time, she returned, the old spark in her eyes as she described her daring plan. He disapproved, but her mind was set. He helped her, along with his beloved, and with the three of them, they found a way for her to return to the barbarian king.

Before she left, they returned to the ruins of their home. He and his beloved found a place to stay for the night, and he found his sister sitting in the large empty throne room, staring at the chair of silver and gold. He was saddened at the quiet and still large archways and halls that used to be so full of life, but her voice reflected off of the emptiness beautifully.

"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart. But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start. You put your arms around me, And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms around me and I'm home."

He sat down next to her and stared at the chair with her. He knew that it meant so much to her and it meant a lot to him too. It was a reminder of his own childhood, the way they grew up together in each other's arms dealing with joy and laughter and pain and sorrow. This was where they grew up, dealing with their mother's passing and their father's harsh tutelage, where she became queen, where she remarried, where the child used to play, where the child left, and where she made her last stand for herself, and their people. And now she was leaving it all behind for the slimmer of hope of returning to old, familiar arms.

"The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved. I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone. You put your arms around me, And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go."

He stared sadly at his sister who in such a short time had suffered so much. What had she done to deserve it? She was just barely over two hundred years of age and yet she had gone through so much heartbreak and strife. Why were the Ancestors so cruel?

"I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth, And I've never opened up. I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me, And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go.

He put his arm around her shoulders and he felt his shirt dampen slightly as her head rested on his shoulder. He wished his arms were enough, but he knew they weren't. It hurt him, knowing that she may never find arms to hold her and love her. No one deserved such a fate.

"I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling!

I'll never let a love get so close-"

Her voice cut off abruptly and she pulled her long sword out of its sheath, the silver metal glimmering in the sunlight filtering through the room. Her thin, gloved fingers traced over the words etched into the blade. She drew a deep breath and sang,

"You put your arms around me and I'm home."

He smiled softly as she sheathed the sword and stood. She faced him, her face stained with tears but her eyes brimming with conviction. As much as he was worried about her decision, he knew that she was resolute in her choice and he was relieved and proud of her for it. For once, she was taking charge of her own fate.

"I'm ready."

"I will miss you, Onóre."

Her eyes brimmed with tears again and she whispered, "I will miss you too."

He smiled at his sister, she was going off down her destiny and he down his. He wished that they would travel down that path together, but he was confident that she would be just fine.

And so, his arms wrapped around his beloved sister one last time.

Songs: Arms by Christina Perri

I hope you all enjoyed this Extra from Rodynar's point of view. I've actually had this extra sitting around for a long time, so I'm glad I finally get to publish it. Let me know what you think and leave a review!