Let this be our prayer

Chapter 3

Memories are supposed to be something special; something treasured. But what would you do if those memories weren't pleasant? Rather, they were filled with death.

Levi Ackerman dreams of nothing but memories of another time. A time where death was an everyday occurrence.

You can look at him and think of him as crazy, something he's been told his whole life, and he might not care on the outside. On the inside, however, he knows these moments were real. And why is he the only one who has them? Hell, he'd like to know as well.

The twenty five year old man often thinks of himself as a wandering flame. Wanting to find those who will truly understand his thoughts and feelings on his memories.

Ever since he was a young boy, before his siblings were born, Levi had a fascination, or so the doctors liked to call it back then, with some fantasy world.

He always saw death around him, illness, loss of hope, and many other things he doesn't want to talk about. But in that world, it was a complete nightmare.

Through his whole life, he experienced waking up in cold sweats, panting, not being able to sleep anymore after a particularly bad dream, and sometimes waking up screaming. His mother, Kuchel, often had to hold her son to calm him down, and his father, Kenny, telling his son it was all a dream. That the world he dreamed of, wasn't his reality.

When his younger sister, Mikasa, was born, the dreams sometimes got more intense. What he means by that is sometimes, he'd have dreams where her life was in danger, and there were times when he wasn't strong enough, and she was murdered. That led to Kuchel and Kenny finding Levi awake, his sister sleeping peacefully in his arms.

His brother, Farlan, seemed to be the one that triggered the worst memories. His dreams led to many times where he woke up screaming bloody murder. His mother would always end up crying alongside him because she didn't know how to calm him down. She tried letting him know Farlan was alive, only a baby, and that he loved his big brother.

Over time, his dreams seemed to calm down. He means they weren't so vivid towards a certain person's death.

Except him.

This one above all tends to bother Levi the most. He only knows him as the brunet with bright eyes. The raven knows he can shift into one of those creatures they're fighting, and that humanity relies on him to save them.

Levi can easily see what the responsibility of that on his shoulders had done to him. But he still held his head up high, and somehow, managed to capture his heart.

He really wishes he would learn the brunet's name. Because he's fucking tired of pining over someone whose name he doesn't know.

Levi was in his bathroom, cutting his own hair, yes, he does that, call him a perfectionist or a clean freak, but no one can cut his hair better than himself. Besides, who needs that person's dirty fingers?

He needed to make sure he looked absolutely perfect for a meeting he was going to be in this afternoon.

"Morning pretty boy."

Levi simply hummed in response to his blonde brother who was grinning at him through the mirror.

"Let me guess, that nice black shirt, black blazer, and equally tight black pants right?" It was scary how much his younger brother knew about his fashion sense.

"You know it." He was now working on his undercut.

Farlan slid behind his brother, going to sit on the toilet seat, still watching his older brother, "I rarely see you get ready for a meeting unless it's like grade A important." Sure, he did see Levi dress in a suit every day, but he knew it was something important when he went out of his way to cut his hair, and dress in something other than the corporate leash.

Levi grabbed his towel, wiping away the hairs on his neck, still standing in only his sweat pants, "It is important. We're thinking about merging with some other company to help build more hospitals, and that in turn, can create more experiments to be done with medicine." He checked his face for any stubble.

The blonde whistled, impressed, "That means more money in your pocket, huh?"

"It does mean that. And if you keep behaving, I'll increase your allowance too."

"More money in my allowance, you bet your ass I'll behave."

Levi chuckled, cleaning up all the hair and throwing it away, "Alright, I have your breakfast in the oven, still warm, go have that while I shower up real quick."

Farlan nodded, getting up and walking out to let the other shower.

"You study for the test in your psychology class?" Levi was currently driving Farlan to his school.

"Yeah. I got some done with Mikasa."

You're more than likely wondering why Farlan lives with Levi and not with their parents, well, that's simple.

When Levi went off to college, the blonde was in middle school with Mikasa, only being a year older than him, and he really missed his older brother. Farlan would often call Levi to talk with him, tell him his problems, the friends he made, and the things he wanted to do as a hobby, or whatever the hell crossed his mind.

So when the raven finished with all his schooling, Farlan wanted to move in with him. Since his parents knew Levi had a good grip on his life, they allowed for the blonde to stay with him. Mikasa being the only one that stayed in their family home.

Levi pulled up at the high school, reached over and ruffled his brother's hair, "Good luck on your test, Far. I'll pick you up today."

The blonde smiled, chuckling at the childish display of affection, "Thanks. See you later, Lee." He unbuckled his seat belt and got out, waving to his brother one more time before walking to the school.

Waiting until his brother was inside the school, Levi made his way to work.

One of the things that often kept Levi not wanting to come into work; his co-workers.

Now, you might think that either way they'd be annoying, well, they were more so.

Fucking Hanji Zoe, literally no filter whatsoever. They often asked if he got that stick out of his ass, and replaced it with the real stick he wanted. Or they asked if he was a cock whore, which led to them getting a black eye and the pleasure of explaining it to Molbit again.

Erwin Smith, the goddamn poster boy of this whole company. Levi can literally feel men and women sporting a boner when he opens his mouth. Sure, he might look like the complete copy of Chris Evans, but the dick in his pants says otherwise.

He'd get into more detail about his moron workers, but he has a meeting to attend to. If you'll excuse him.

"Levi, you have an arranged meeting tomorrow with another vice president with the company that's been trying to merge with us for three years now."

The raven nodded at his assistant, Rico, as he was filling out paperwork.

Rico was his stoic and completely capable secretary. You would have to have a high tolerance to handle him. His no filter mouth on no sleep, cursing when his patience was gone, and him not giving a damn anymore if something was too dirty for his tastes.

He's had some secretaries that were lack luster in the past, but when the white haired woman came around, he felt like she would be perfect for the job.

The main reason why he liked Rico; she didn't give a flying fuck towards a lot.

She cared about her work, personal life, managing time for Levi to spend with his brother, hence, him always picking up the blonde from school, organizing his work and meetings, and being a good friend. However, piss her off and you'll experience what she did to Erwin.

God, he still can't look at a shot glass the same way.

"So, how's your little brother been?" Another thing, she cared about Farlan a lot as if he was like her own brother.

"He's been doing fine. I helped him study some last night. We watched some movies when he was done, and I let him order take out for dinner." Believe him when he says this, he rarely allows take out for dinner.

Rico nodded, getting more work written down. "That's good. Tell him I said hello when you go pick him up. Now get your ass going." He had about twenty five minutes before the blonde got out, and it was a fucking hassle to find a good parking spot.

Levi got all his things together, waved Rico goodbye at her desk, receiving a nod in return, locked his office, and left to pick up his brother.

"How was school, Far?"

The blonde got in the car, set his backpack by his feet, and put his seat belt on, "Pretty good, Lee. How was the meeting?" He saw the raven had his blazer off and his sleeves were rolled up.

"I dealt with morons. But, the deal was sealed. Now, we're busy on making the hospital plans." He carefully maneuvered onto the road on the way home.

"Who are you building the hospitals for?"

"Um, some guy named Grisha. Apparently he's some top notch doctor that works for the public." Levi was impressed the man used his skills for the public. It was rare to see someone who cared more about a person's wellbeing over the money they make.

"Was he there?"

"No. He wasn't able to make it. He forgot he had some important surgery scheduled, so he sent some of his most trusted colleagues."

The blonde nodded as they pulled into the driveway of their house.

"Hey, Lee?"

Levi glanced back at his brother as he came into his office, "Need something, Farlan?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind, can you help me with something?" The blonde rubbed the back of his head.

"Sure, go ahead and sit down." He motioned to the chair next to him.

Farlan sat down beside his older brother, but Levi seemed to notice something. He seemed uncomfortable, but also like he was curious about something.

"What was it you needed?" The raven closed his laptop and adjusted his glasses on his nose, paying attention to his brother.

"So, you remember back when we were younger, and you had those dreams, right?" How could he possible forget that?

"Yes."

"Why did they get worse when I was born? Mom told me that they were bad when Mikasa was born, but they got worse when I was born. Do you happen to know why that is?"

Levi sighed, "You know, Farlan, I'd like to know that too." He does know.

"I just don't know why I had to have those dreams since I was a child. It wasn't something normal, it was something that everyone thought I was different for. Sure, you hear of some kids having nightmares about childish things, but mine were filled with something straight from a horror movie. Mother blamed father many times because she thought he let me watch scary movies again. But when they hid everything even remotely scary, I still had those nightmares."

Farlan nodded slowly, "Was there something that happened when you were a child that affected you in some way?"

"Not that I remember. I often asked mother and father the same thing. I had a very normal childhood, and then one day, those dreams began happening. I didn't know why they happened or why they only happened to me. I just felt like it was something normal because of something scary that I saw. But then it kind of hit me; I saw nothing like that growing up because of mother. So they started taking me to see doctors so see what had made me dream all that, but in the end, they deemed me to be different."

The blonde kind of remembers those days. The days where his brother didn't go to school, work, talk with any of them and mostly kept to himself. He felt sad because he wanted to talk with his brother, and their parents said it was best to leave him alone when he was like that. Farlan didn't know why his parents didn't try and comfort their son, but, he didn't question it much because he was young.

"The dreams still happen?" He could always vaguely hear Levi panting, probably from a bad dream, sometimes at night.

Levi nodded, leaning back in his seat, his glasses slipping off slightly from his nose, "Yeah. I try to keep quiet about them because I know you and I have things to do in the morning. Have I been bothering you at all?"

"Not really. I mean, I know when you have a bad dream. You start panting, the wooden floors creak when you go to the kitchen to get water, or when you're already awake at six in the morning." These were things the blonde noticed a lot more since he moved in with his brother.

"You know, Far. I really appreciate it when you come and comfort me when I have a bad dream. Makes me really feel like someone cares for once and that, hell, I don't know how to tell you this, but thank you for all that you've done." Levi really wasn't one to be all touchy feely, but if it was with Farlan, this kid brother of his always brought that out in him.

The blonde reached over and draped an arm over Levi's shoulder, his older brother doing the same. "Anytime, Lee. You know since I was a brat, I cared about you a lot."

Levi chuckled, "Yeah, you did. You always followed me around, only wanted me to take you to the park, spend time with you watching cartoons, movies or playing some game, read to you at night, taught you how to speak fluent French, draw, and taught you how to cook."

Farlan smiled, "You know, I started writing because I had the best big brother there is."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. They say people can be the best inspiration. And you know what?"

"What?"

"You're my inspiration to keep writing and one day publish a book. I want to dedicate my first one to you." The blonde had been working on a book for the last two years. He wanted it to be something that reminded him of Levi in a sense. The main character certain does.

Levi smiled, "Thanks, Far."

"Je t'aime, grand frère."

"Vous aimez aussi, petit frère."

Later that night, Levi was getting all ready for bed. He had already sent Farlan to bed. The blonde tended to not want to wake up in the morning.

Making sure everything was shut off and locked in the house, the raven went back to his room.

Laying down, he made sure his alarm was on and drifted off to sleep.

"Kid? Kid? Wake up, brat. Shitty glasses wants to run more experiments on you." The captain stood by his subordinate's bedside, already in his uniform.

The young man groaned as he woke up, only to come face to face with Corporal Levi.

Levi raised a brow at his subordinate, "What brat? Do I have something on my fucking face?"

"U-Um, no sir. Nothing at all."

"Then get up, get dressed and meet me in the hallway when you're finished. We have a lot of shit to do." The captain turned around and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"Brat. Hurry the fuck up. Shitty glasses will start bitching if he don't get there soon." The captain's voice came through the door, completely annoyed at the young man taking too long.

"Yes, sir!" The boy opened the door, closing it behind himself as he followed the shorter man.

"You want me to bite down on my hand?" The brunet was completely confused as to why the two superiors wanted him to do so.

Levi rubbed his temples, "Because I already fucking told you, brat. You need to turn into a titan. Shitty glasses needs to run some tests on you."

The scientist beside them were quietly observing the brunet's odd behavior, and why he was so reluctant to comply with orders he just executed yesterday.

"Look brat, we don't exactly have a lot of time. We have a lot of shit to get in a single day. Every moment that those military dogs don't find us should fucking count."

Hanji placed their hand on the captain's shoulder, "Calm down, Corporal. Maybe the mere fact that we have to hide out now still hasn't set with him. "

Levi glanced back at them, "We don't have enough time for it to settle in. We need to act. This brat needs to turn into a titan as soon as he can. We need to run those tests of yours."

Reluctantly, Hanji nodded. They turned to the young man and gave him a serious expression, "I understand everything is still new with how we're to live right now. We were once idolized, you were known as Humanity's last hope, now we're criminals for hiding you because of your titan shifting ability. We have to try and put that in the back of our minds and work with whatever we have. You and the rest of the 104th squad are trying the best they can. You have to as well."

The captain watched as the boy looked down at his hands. What the hell was wrong with him?

Levi had about enough with the brunet's silence and grabbed his shoulders, making the brunet look at him in shock. "Brat, I don't know what the fuck you're thinking in that head of yours, but you are a titan shifter and Humanity's last hope. Everyone one of your friends depend on you, shitty glasses depends on you, hell, even I fucking depend on you to help eliminate the titans. Accept it, this is our reality."

"You aren't real."

"Excuse me?" Levi's eyebrow twitched.

When he was pushed back by his subordinate, his eyes widened a bit.

The brunet began speaking again, "You are nothing but a made up character in a book Armin gave me weeks ago. None of this is real. I've just been writing too much again. That's it."

He let out a humorless laugh, "Just because my name is scary close to the main character doesn't mean that's really me. I'm not that Eren Jeager. I'm not strong, reckless, determined, and the suicidal bastard that he is. I'm Eren Yeager. University student, insecure, quiet, and hoping that I can get a goddamn book published later on in life. None of this is real!" By this point, he was only trying to convince himself this very realistic dream was nothing but a figment of his imagination.

The two superiors watched in horror as the young titan shifter had a mental breakdown. What was this about university student? Eren was a young man involved in the military. The brunet was a strong young man. Why did he have to break down now? They had so many important matters they had to do, and with a limited time on their hands, they couldn't waste a second.

Levi was quick to grab the brunet before he fell to the ground, holding him tightly, "Eren, I don't know what anyone else has told you, but you're a strong person, the strongest person I've had the fucking pleasure of meeting. You have to beat those inner demons that want you to fall and be useless. You're better than this, Eren. Come on," He grabbed Eren's chin and met the brunet's gaze with his own, "You're strong, Eren. You're no monster, you're a human. No one can fucking take that away from you."

The captain couldn't say why he felt like his words had more emotion in them than it sounded. For some reason, he felt tied in some special way to this solider.

Eren gave the captain a very tired smile, making the man panic, "T-Thank you, c-captain." His gaze slowly faded.

Levi shouted for Hanji to hurry the fuck up and come back with their medical kit from the cabin. He looked down at the dazed brunet, close to passing out. "Eren, Eren, fucking stay with me, Eren!" His grip tightened on his subordinate.

The brunet's eyes rolled back into his head, going limp in his arms.

His own dream started to fade out, his heart pounding at the next words.

I love you.

Levi gasped as he quickly sat up in his bed. He was panting, placing a hand over his heart, feeling the rapid beating over it against his palm.

That dream…it was different than what it usually was. And so much more helpful. Because now he had a name to the brunet.

Eren…

Eren Yeager.

End of chapter 3.

So not sorry.