FOOLS RUSH IN:
Summary: Emma Swan has been married since she was five years old. Under the old oak tree, she wed Killian Jones, her neighbor. Then, he moved away, but made one final promise, that one day he would marry her for real. See what happens when he returns to make good on his promise.
Fools Rush in Chapter Two
A/N: Thanks to CSBB for once again organizing an amazing event. I've been missing Captain Swan for the past year, and having this has helped so much! Thanks to Lana ( high-seas-swan) and Kaitlyn ( Spartanguard) for their beta help. Go check out Lana's story when you get a moment as well – it's amazing! Thanks to Rachel ( Ladyciaramiggles) for the art she has provided which you can find here - file/d/1qMgcPCLpMtTlrf-dGPz2UqzIdwFoU3O/view?usp=sharing. Also, thanks to Kris ( sambethe) for the cover art for the story and for beta help. See the artwork here - open?id=0B_FxxumYgskbMlRQSmhLWmJMdkVkeGlFU29lZ2hpenFvdHYw ! All of you have made this story what it is! Enjoy Chapter Two - I really enjoy writing from Killian's POV! Also, thanks to all those who gave reviews! Keep them coming!
He took in a big long breath before hitting send on his computer. He was taking a huge chance on this message and he hoped that it wouldn't be wasted. Initially, he didn't want to even send the message, wanting to keep everything the same as it had been for years. But fate was a funny thing and he couldn't put it off much longer; also Liam, his older brother, wouldn't let him.
It was finally time to see Emma again after so many years.
Since he could remember, Killian Jones had been obsessed with Emma Swan. At first, when they were little, she really was just his best friend. They did everything together. Some of the boys made fun of him when they were four or five because his best friend was a girl, but he didn't care about that. Emma was more adventurous, more daring, and more fun than any of the boys he was in school or sports with. Plus, she lived next door, which meant he didn't have to go very far to find someone to play with him.
Emma's mother and his were best friends, too. In fact, he always felt like Emma's mother, Ingrid, was a second mom to him. He knew that if he couldn't talk to his mom, she would be there for him. So while he enjoyed her friendship, he also knew that in the end, they would have been forced to be friends.
Not only was Emma the best friend a kid could ask for, she was also his wife. He didn't remember exactly how or why it happened, but he was glad that it did. When they were five, out of the blue, he just asked Emma to marry him. He remembered saying something along the lines of wanting to be with his best friend forever, and marriage was forever. He could remember some moments when he would look at Emma and just smile. He knew that he didn't want to live in a world where Emma Swan didn't exist.
She wore a bright red dress that day, and he was dressed up in a nice shirt and little bow tie. He was pretty sure it happened to be picture day at school, too, as his mom had a photo of him with those cheesy backgrounds in the same outfit. She had a little crown of flowers that accented her wavy blonde hair perfectly. He was pretty sure that if he got up the courage to look through his mother's things that were stored at Liam's, he would find a picture of Emma that immortalized what she looked like that day. It was something he remembered growing up; his mom kept just as many pictures of Emma as she did of her own boys.
After their wedding, Killian gave Emma her very first kiss. Five year olds are weird in that they aren't quite sure what a kiss really means or could stand for. Also, it was very well known that at that age, girls carried cooties – or, as he was sure the girls of that day would say to Emma, that he carried them. He remembered their officiant; a little red headed boy named Archie that was in their class and whose father was a pastor, gave them cootie shots and told them that they could kiss. Most boys his age would steer clear of kissing a girl, but Killian wasn't like most boys his age. He went in for the kill. It was a very short kiss, a quick peck with both of their eyes squeezed shut in a mixture of concern and surprise. When he stepped back, Emma was blushing, staring down at her feet. Yet, there was a slight smile on her lips.
For the rest of the school year, things didn't change. He found it funny at the time, because his mom and dad used to say that marriage changed everything. Yet, he still played with Emma on a daily basis. She still beat him at soccer, and he still beat her at dodgeball. They still raced home after school and ate their afternoon snacks together in her treehouse. She still made fun of the way he spoke sometimes and he still made fun of her for the way her hair frizzed when it rained.
Nothing really changed. They were still Emma and Killian. They were still best friends.
However, while things with Emma and school were good, things at home weren't. He didn't quite understand what was going on at the time, but Liam was angry all the time, his dad would leave for days and when he was home, he was drunk, and his mom just seemed off. She tried to hide the drama away from Killian, but he knew something was wrong. Her eyes just didn't sparkle like they used to.
About a year after Killian and Emma got married, he was told they were going to be moving to Ireland. It was devastating. It was also rather quick. Their house didn't get packed up, their belongings stayed in their spots. All that was packed was their clothing, stuffed into suitcases and duffle bags. The next morning, they left for the airport. Killian knew Emma wanted to go with him – he didn't even have to ask, he just knew that she would follow him anywhere. And truthfully, he would do the same for her.
The night before, he even asked his mom if he could stay behind, and live with the Swans. Ingrid was Alice's best friend after all, and he liked Emma's father James way more than he liked his own father. His father never looked at him the way James looked at Emma. His father yelled at him constantly, whereas James spoke to Emma with kindness and patience. He wished he had a father like Emma's. But his mom said she would miss him too much and he needed to go with her.
Things were weird to say the least. He also asked his mom where his dad was, since they were leaving in such a hurry. She told him that is why they had to go. They had to go get their father from Ireland; they had to be a family again. He was so angry. It had been three weeks since his dad had gone away on business, and truthfully Killian didn't care if his dad came back or not.
But there he sat, next to Emma, with tears slowly streaming down her face. He didn't want to leave her. She had become so much more than a best friend to him. She was his rock, his anchor. She made him feel better when everything else sucked. He didn't think he would be able to deal with life if Emma wasn't there by his side. Who else would understand when he got angry over his mother crying? Who else would understand that he was self-conscious about his ears? Still, nothing he did, no matter how much he pleaded with his mom or Liam, they wouldn't let him stay with her.
They sat quietly at the airport. He didn't want to let go of her hand. He had held Emma's hand as long as he could remember. It was their thing. People used to say they were attached at the hip, but in reality, they were attached at the hands. When they would walk anywhere, it was hand in hand. It was just natural for them. He wanted to tell her so much, wanted to make her feel better, but the words never came. He wanted to make sure she understood he would come back one day, but he somehow knew he couldn't make that promise to her.
He could hear her screams as he boarded the plane. He had a window seat, but couldn't bear to look out the window, because if he even got a glimpse of a blonde haired girl, he wouldn't be able to hold it together. He was a mess on the inside. He just wanted to go home, and not Ireland.
Slept overtook him on the flight and once they arrived and settled into the two bedroom apartment in his mother's hometown, he fell into despair. He had promised Emma that he would write to her, and he wanted to write to her so badly, but there were no paper or pencils in the apartment - just a musty old twin bed in the master bedroom and a crappy, probably now unsafe, bunk bed in the other. There wasn't even furniture in the living room or a TV. They had to use their suitcases as plates to eat the food they got from the airport after they landed.
Over the next three weeks, things went from bad to worse. Their dad was in town and he did come by to see them, but he was drunk. He was rude and crass and Killian didn't want to spend another minute in the room with him. He ended up staying the night and the following day, when his mother emerged from the bedroom, his father nowhere in sight, he could see bruises on her skin. At that time, he thought that his father may be beating his mother, but he found out that it was much different later on.
He was finally able to write Emma when he started school. He kept his first letter short, since he was still practicing with writing and didn't do too well at it – he didn't have his best friend supporting him and encouraging him, after all. But he had Liam, who helped him. He didn't like that Killian mentioned that he was crying, but he didn't protest. Liam was good like that. He knew that if Killian wanted Emma to know that, then it was important.
When he was finished, he drew some pictures for her on the back, with the crayons he stole from the school. He knew stealing was wrong, but he also would do anything to see Emma smile and he knew his pictures would do that. They didn't have any crayons at home, so he had to take them. They were brand new - another kid had brought in a couple of boxes for the class, and Killian just took one and put it in his backpack. So he spent hours drawing those photos. He wanted Emma to really see that he was missing her.
He kept writing Emma through the drama that unfolded. A few weeks after his first letter went out, his mom came home from a doctor's appointment looking worse for the wear. She came into the boy's bedroom and sat down on their floor. By this time they had some toys and items to make the apartment seem homier, but he missed his room at his old house. From his room, he could see Emma's. He could watch her sneak out and race over to his house. He would know exactly when to meet her at the door to let her in. They would then lie in his bed together and listen to the crickets chirp.
She took a hold of his tiny hand and told him a long tale. She told him of a young knight who was scared of the world, but found solace in a princess. She told him that the princess would always be there for him, even if she was far away. She also told him that the knight had a family that he had to take care of first, and that the princess would understand. She told him that she loved him very much, and it was then that he noticed the tears in his mom's eyes.
"Ma, what's wrong?" he asked in a shy voice.
"Killy, I'm sick. I am going to try my hardest to get better, but I may not get any better. Do you understand?" she replied, large circles were clearly noticeable under her eyes.
"Kinda, why are you sick?" he had to know.
"I have cancer, my darling," she said back, pulling him closer. He knew what cancer meant. There was a boy in Emma and Killian's kindergarten class whose mother had cancer and passed away. Tears picked up in his eyes as the realization that his mom may die hit him.
"I promise, I am going to fight as hard as I can, and I need you to be strong while I try to get better, can you promise me that?" She looked into his eyes.
"I'll try, mama," he promised.
The next couple of months were rough. He saw his mother go through hell. He had been gone from Emma for almost a year. He hadn't told her that his mom had cancer. He didn't want to worry her. He knew how much Emma loved his mom. She claimed it was the accent – that Alice had an accent that could make everything wrong in the world just disappear when she told a story. But Killian knew it was more than that. Everything about his mother was good. Yet, all that good was slowly starting to disappear from her body. She got skinnier; her hair thinned out then completely fell out. And while she was bald, she was still beautiful in her son's eyes.
He saw her go from having a good appetite to barely being able to keep down soup. He watched as her strength to do simple activities, like walking around the park or sitting up in bed, diminished. He watched as the breath in her got shallow and hard.
But through it all, he stayed strong. He had to be strong.
Even though the cancer was bad, his father was worse. Right after his mom was diagnosed, right after she held Killian in her arms and told him the truth, after she held him while they both cried, afraid to say what may happen to her, his dad left for good. Killian and Liam sat in their room while their mom begged their father to stay. He heard his mom claim that she would lose the will to live if he left her. She said she couldn't beat this without him. She yelled that she needed him to be there for the kids if things got bad. Still, through all the begging and pleading, Brennan Jones took his leave.
He claimed that he didn't sign up for any of this. He claimed he still had living to do and he couldn't do that with a sick wife and two bratty kids. He said that she was holding him back. He said he regretted even being with her and them.
Liam was angry. He had never seen his brother get so upset. After Brennan walked away for good, Liam took the lamp from their dresser and threw it against the wall. He swore that Brennan would regret the day he hurt his mom and left them in the dust.
Still, with hell coming down around them, he never told Emma anything. He always tried to keep the letters bright and sunny. Not for his sake, but hers. But in one letter, he did let his emotions show just a bit.
It was a week or so after Brennan left them, that he wrote Emma the most personal letter. It was difficult for him to write, because he was only six and his vocabulary and pencil skills were poor, but he just had to tell her something. He spent days writing it out, making sure to spell each word correctly and making sure each word was written clearly. He wished he could show his mom, she would be so proud, but he knew the letter was too personal for that.
Emma,
I hope you are doing well. Your letters make me smile. I am going to move back to Storybrooke soon and when I do, I'm going to marry you for real. You are my best friend – forever! I promise I won't be like my dad and we won't get divorced like Regina's. I promise I will be your best friend forever.
Love, Killian
Looking back now though, he hates himself for that letter. Not because he didn't mean what he said; but because he didn't keep that promise to her. He turned out to be a pretty shitty best friend. When his mom finally passed away after a long battle, he couldn't find it in himself to send her anymore letters. He just wanted to hide from the world and cry over his mom. He was angry at everything. He was pissed at his dad for being the reason he had to leave Emma and his home. He was pissed that his dad up and left them to fight alone. He was pissed with God for giving his mom cancer and taking her away too soon. He was angry at Liam, because his older brother took custody of him and essentially became his parent instead of a brother.
He didn't want any of that anger exposed to Emma. He didn't want to involve her in his crappy life. He knew she was happy at home. He knew she had made new friends and was doing OK. He didn't want to ruin any of that. So, he stopped sending the letters.
But, he didn't stop writing them.
Whenever something bad would happen - whenever he was angry, upset, or emotional in any way - he would write to her. He would then place the letter in an envelope and seal it up. He stuck it in a box under his bed and they never saw the light of day again.
Throughout his life, he had kept up that act. Whenever something happened, Killian would get out a paper and pen and write to her. When he graduated from elementary school, when he got his first girlfriend, when he lost his virginity, when he graduated from high school and college, and almost everything in-between, he wrote to her. It was therapy for him. He knew that even if Emma couldn't physically be there, and even though she wasn't actually reading the letters, she would still be there for him, and she was in terms of those letters.
Of course, she was upset that he stopped writing to her. For a couple of weeks after his mom died, she sent him letters, begging him to write her back, begging him to come back. But he couldn't. He just couldn't.
For years, he wondered if he had done the right thing by not involving her, and he knew he did when she found him on MySpace during their sophomore year of high school.
It was a couple of months after her sweet sixteen when he got the friend request. It actually surprised him. He hadn't been a big MySpace user, but created the profile when Liam mentioned connecting with an old friend from the states. He had hoped that she would find him, or he would find her. But for months, he searched and searched and couldn't find a profile for her. Of course, it was possible that she just didn't have one, but it worried him that she didn't. He was also pretty sure that even if she did have a profile, she wouldn't want to be friends with someone who turned their back on the best thing that had ever happened to them.
He immediately friended her back, needing to see just what had been happening in Emma Swan's life. He spent what felt like hours just staring at her picture. He wondered how long it took her to choose that picture and where it was taken. She was standing in front of what looked like water, her hair flowing in the breeze. It was much longer than it was when they were little. Of course it would be, they had both grown up, but it still surprised him at how long and beautiful it actually was. It seemed brighter, too.
Her eyes were the same though - still bright with all of the joys of life. Sure, she had a gorgeous smile that could command everyone's attention, but it was her eyes that kept him there. They were really where her smile was coming from. He could just feel the joy that she had. While staring at the picture, Killian felt like no time passed at all. Plus, he was one lucky son of a bitch to have a wife as good looking as Emma.
He read through her profile, looked at every single picture she had, and memorized all of her favorite information. He was glad to see that their favorite movie was still listed. To that day, he had still dressed up as Westley anytime a costume party came up. It was his little homage to her.
She was into the more popular music, but he also knew that she could listen and enjoy almost any type of music. As long as it made her friends smile, Emma would listen to polka music.
Liam came home to find Killian still sitting at the computer, pouring himself over Emma's profile.
"Just message her, you prick; tell her you miss her," he commented, punching his brother in the shoulder before going to put away the food he picked up.
Liam got a job straight out of high school in order to take care of Killian, forgoing his dream of college for his younger brother. So Liam worked at a construction company nearby. It paid great money, and Liam was now the foreman at another company, so he was happy, and so was Killian. But, it still wasn't anything to brag about. He was a lanky loner in high school, with a dead mom, a runaway dad, a brother who was just a construction worker, and he was pretty sure he was going nowhere good in life. Why would she even want to talk to him? He was pretty sure she only friended him out of guilt or nostalgia.
"Maybe later," he said. And that became Killian's go to answer for the next decade.
It was always "maybe later". Maybe later, he would get the courage to reply back with more than a short sentence. Maybe later, he would get the courage to say something more than "happy birthday" or "merry Christmas". Maybe later, he would finally tell Emma that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her.
Liam was pretty sure that maybe later would have come sooner. Especially with Facebook. Yet, Killian was stuck in his little bubble, still thinking he wasn't good enough for Emma Swan.
When Killian graduated from college, he was finally able to do something good with his life: he joined the Navy. Thankfully, he was a dual citizen, and he was able to join the US Navy. So, between basic training, officer school, and pretty steady deployments, Killian didn't have the time to update his Facebook the way Emma did. But, her constant updates and photos kept him going during long deployments and obnoxious times.
She seemed to have the perfect life. She appeared to have friends that truly cared about her. She was so happy in all her pictures. Her smile radiated in each new one that appeared. He saw pictures of her playing sports, pictures of her and her friends at the mall and at the beach, pictures of them at formal events. There were even pictures of her with some guys, which didn't exactly make Killian happy, but he was happy she seemed happy.
Seeing her so happy made every bad thing that happened to him better.
The Navy had taken him all over the world. He had been to Japan, to Australia, to Iraq, and even to Antarctica. He didn't have a family, so anytime there was a chance to deploy, he took it. But he couldn't keep playing that card anymore. The Navy has a limit and Killian had reached it. It was time for him to stay in one place for a while.
Call it kismet, call it destiny, call it luck - but no matter what you call it, when it came time for Killian to choose orders, Storybrooke was the only option.
Liam had moved back to Storybrooke right after Killian went to college. He had missed Storybrooke almost as much as Killian did. Killian, being ten years younger than his brother, never really understood what Liam had to go through, but he knew he would be eternally grateful to his brother. Not only did he leave a life behind in when they moved, but a potential career, too.
Liam had been the star baseball player, and had been actively scouted for a few years. Any college was up for grabs. He had a wonderful girlfriend, who meant just as much to him as Emma did to his little brother. Yet, he gave it all up to be with his brother and mother.
He gave up college to take care of Killian. He sacrificed everything just so that his little brother could do sports, or go on a field trip, or even eat food some weeks. He was the father Killian never had.
But, in the years since Liam moved, Killian never truly visited Storybrooke. Something always came up. Liam could see through his bullshit though. It was simply because Emma was still in Storybrooke and Killian was still too scared to see her. Instead, he would visit a nearby town and Liam would come and visit him. Killian never ventured into Storybrooke.
While Storybrooke was big enough to house a Naval yard, it was still a pretty small community. It wasn't like San Diego or Norfolk, where the base was so large that you didn't even know your own neighbor. But it wasn't so small that you knew everyone. It was truly the perfect size town. But Killian knew that if he visited, he would run into Emma and he just wasn't ready for that.
Of course he wanted to see his best friend again, wanted to hold her in his arms, wanted to make sure she knew just how much being separated from her killed him. But he was ashamed. Ashamed at how quickly he hid from her, how quickly he let go of the most important friendship in the world just because he was embarrassed and scared.
But he couldn't hide anymore.
He had been in Storybrooke less than a week and he had already caught glimpses of her four times.
Each time, his heart stopped and he forgot what he was doing. He first spotted her as he was driving through town on his way in from the airport. He hadn't even been in town an hour and he already saw her. She was walking on Main Street with a couple, one with short black hair, and the other with short blonde hair. He recognized them from her photos on Facebook. They were standing outside the ice cream shop with a teenage boy. Emma looked so happy and Killian was so memorized that he accidentally ran a stop sign.
The second time was grocery shopping. He was just pulling into the parking lot as Emma walked out with two bags in hand. She must have just gotten off of work, because she looked different than her pictures. She was in a dress with her hair pulled back, exposing her neck. He hid in his car until she left, driving a yellow bug that looked identical to the one his mom used to drive.
The third and fourth time happened on the same day, and he knew that he couldn't go much longer without reaching out to her. He was out with Liam on Saturday night. Their first stop was the Mad Hatter, a bar in the center of town. It wasn't a tourist place, and only the locals hung out there. He was sitting in a darkened corner booth when she walked in.
At first, he was a bit worried that she would be on a date, but he let out a sigh of relief when he saw she was alone. She looked beautiful though. Her jeans were tight and hugged her in all the right places. Her shirt was just a bit see through, showing the outline of her bra. Her hair fell down her back in large waves.
He couldn't move, couldn't speak. He was glad Liam had gone outside to call his wife, because he wouldn't have let Killian live it down. He knew that if Liam saw Emma, he would call her over almost immediately. So Killian held his breath waiting to see what would happen.
Emma took a shot that the bartender gave her, winked and walked out.
"Hey little bro, looks like you've just seen a ghost," Liam said as he slid into the booth.
"Younger brother," was Killian's traditional reply, "and I think I did. I just saw Emma."
"Really? I didn't see her," Liam said looking around.
"She came in, took a shot and left," Killian explained.
"Oh, she must be going to the club then," he replies, like he knew everything and that was supposed to explain what just happened to Killian.
Thankfully Liam added some more information when he saw the confused look on his brother's face.
"There's a club across the street. Their drinks are outrageously expensive. Ladies get in for free and can come and go as they please, so they tend to come and go from here to get their drinks, then go back over to Ruby's to dance," he explained.
"Oh," Killian responded unsure of how to actually respond to that.
"Want to check it out?" Liam asked.
Killian did want to see Emma again, but a club was different. First, it wasn't really his scene. He stood out like a sore thumb in places like that. Secondly, he didn't want Emma to see him, not yet, not before he was ready.
He was about to say no when Liam didn't leave him an option.
"We're going. And I think it would be the perfect opportunity to say hello to an old friend," his brother added, pulling him from the booth and pushing him towards the door.
The line to get into the club wasn't bad. The price, though, was outrageous! 20 bucks a head if you were a guy.
"How in the bloody hell can this club even make money? Twenty a head, and you said the girls all leave to drink, so how does it stay in business?" Killian asked.
"Ruby. It's really as simple as that. Ruby owns the place. Everyone knows her. Guys pay to get in cause the girls are gorgeous and the bar is nice. Girls come cause they know Ruby lets them drink for cheap across the street and she gives them a place to dance. Unless Jefferson opens a dance floor, Ruby will keep making the money," Liam explained.
They finally got in and he immediately spotted Emma on the dance floor. It was like a spot light shone just on her. Her entire body was shining bright, welcoming him in. He was drawn to her. Yet, he was frozen in his spot. He was awestruck, watching her move to the music so intently that he didn't even notice someone knocking into him, spilling a bit of their drink on him.
"Well, go on, little brother," Liam urged.
But Killian didn't move. He wasn't sure if it was physically possible.
He also knew, in that split second moment that he couldn't let the first time he talked to Emma Swan in over 20 years be on a dance floor. She deserved better than that.
He turned and ran out of the club.
The whole way back to Liam's, where Killian was staying until he found a place, his brother made fun of him. He knew he was never going to live it down.
As they pulled into the house, Liam finally said something that wasn't giving him a hard time.
"Eventually, you are going to have to talk to her. Man up already. Remember, a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets."
And that stuck with him for a few more days. He would stare at her photo on Facebook, trying to will himself to send her a message. He kept telling himself that it didn't matter what he actually said, she would be happy to hear from him. At least, he hoped she would be.
Liam finally got annoyed with his behavior and took things into his own hands, which as hard as it was for Killian to admit, was just what he needed to get over everything and reach out to her.
Killian walked in from an early shift to see Liam had written a message to Emma for him. He hadn't hit send, but there was a sticky note saying that if he didn't get his head out of his ass and send it to her, Liam would soon. Killian knew that he needed to be the one to reach out, and with the fear of Liam being Liam, he edited the message a bit, and hit send.
Hey Emma, So I'm back in town. I wanted to know if you wanted to meet up for dinner soon and catch up. I know it's been a while - a really long while - and you may be pissed at me for losing touch, but I would really like to meet up, give me a chance to explain. Let me know. I've missed you Swan
He sat in front of that computer for what seemed like days. His emotions were all over the place. He was scared as hell as to what her response was going to be. And with each passing minute that she didn't respond, his internal monologue got worse.
She thinks you're crap. You were a shitty friend and she knows it. You left her alone for over 20 years; what kind of person does that? Do you really expect her to care now? Do you really expect her to write back? She knows better, her life is better off without you.
Finally, the Gods took pity on him, and Emma messaged him back. He was scared to look at first, but when he saw just what she wrote he was ecstatic. Something in him changed in that moment. All of a sudden, nothing in the past mattered anymore.
Hey Killian. Sure, let's meet. 6PM tomorrow, Granny's (I hope you remember where it is!) our old booth. See you then.
With those words, Killian vowed to himself that he was going to right things with Emma one way or another, and he had the perfect idea of how to start - by making good on a promise he made so many years ago.