FOOLS RUSH IN:
Summary: Emma Swan has been married since she was five years old. Under the old oak tree, she wed Killian Jones, her neighbor. Then, he moved away, but made one final promise, that one day he would marry her for real. See what happens when he returns to make good on his promise.
Fools Rush in Chapter Six
A/N: Thanks to CSBB for once again organizing an amazing event. I've been missing Captain Swan for the past year, and having this has helped so much! Thanks to Lana ( high-seas-swan) and Kaitlyn ( Spartanguard) for their beta help. Go check out Lana's story when you get a moment as well – it's amazing! Thanks to Rachel ( Ladyciaramiggles) for the art she has provided. Also, thanks to Kris ( sambethe) for the cover art for the story and for beta help. All of you have made this story what it is! Enjoy Chapter Six, a short little chapter that wasn't such a joy to write, but that I decided to keep. Stayed tuned for Chapter Seven though, it will be worth it!
I really didn't enjoy writing this chapter, but it moved the story along and it was needed. It's super short too. But, I hope you enjoy it. I will be off next week, as I am moving across the world on Saturday and I won't have much time to be posting.
"Hey Killian," he heard from behind him as he walked away from Emma, "if you were serious, I would think about it."
He froze in his tracks as he heard her angelic voice echo through the clear night. His mind was blank, unable to process what she had actually said.
Their night had been going so well—at least, he thought it was. Conversation flowed perfectly between them, once all their past mishaps had been aired and apologies passed around. He found himself fully engaged in every word that came out of her beautiful lips. He was surprised that he was able to follow along with her stories of childhood, all while taking in every inch of her face.
He was captivated by her, and from the moment he held her in his arms, he knew he had made the right decision reaching out to her. He was going to owe Liam something big. His arms had wrapped around her so perfectly, so wonderfully, that he knew he would never be able to hug another woman in his life. He would never be able to live his life now without her in it - permanently.
That was probably what led him to bringing up that stupid promise he had made to her all those years ago. That stupid promise that made her shrink back inside of herself, away from the person he used to know. He watched her physically recoil from him when he brought it up. How could he have been so stupid? Practically asking Emma to really marry him after seeing her for the first time in over twenty years, real smart there Killian. Of course she would say no, of course she would find him weird and creepy. But, none of that stopped him from asking.
When he hugged her, something was lit inside of him - a fire that would never be diminished. He knew that he would one day make sure she knew how she made him feel; but when she mentioned having a son, he suddenly got really worried. Did someone else already have Emma's heart, a heart that he hoped he once had and could have again? Did someone else take his place?
He was relieved when she told him the story of Henry. Of course she would find a way to care for a child she developed a bond with. Even the Emma he had known all those years ago was a tender soul who would adopt a stray cat and nurse it back to health or who would immediately run to a friend who was crying because they hurt Emma he once knew was a compassionate soul, so it would make sense that the Emma he met tonight was the same way.
In his mind, he could picture this Henry, he could picture Emma and him at home; Emma cooking him breakfast as old 90's music blasted through the speakers that sat next to the waffle mix, Henry sitting on a stool at the counter in his PJs that matched Emma's. He could see her hair, still a bit messy from sleep. He had no clue what Henry looked like, so he pictured a younger version of himself.
Shit, he thought in that moment, because he was falling deeper and deeper down a rabbit hole - picturing Emma with a kid that looked like a younger version of him. He was sure that a psychologist would have a field day with that.
All of that led to him asking her if she remembered that promise. All of that led to him lying to her.
He didn't mean it as a joke; he was dead serious. He would marry her tomorrow if given a choice. But he knew he had to lie once he saw her face. He had to play it off as a joke. She didn't look at him the way he looked at her; at least, not yet.
He knew what he had to do. He had to build their relationship back up. He needed to invest in it, prove to her that the Killian she once knew was still there; that even though years had passed, they were still destined to be together.
So yes, when she yelled at the car window that she would consider marrying him, he was shocked.
She would consider a proposal from him. She would think about fulfilling the promise he made all those years ago - and make real the fantasy they had done.
Without noticing it, he found himself back home. Just like before, when he drove to meet her at Granny's, he couldn't remember getting in his car and making the drive. He needed to get a hold of himself.
She said she would just consider it—she didn't say yes and he didn't ask. He needed to calm down and think rationally. He needed to gather his thoughts and decide exactly how to proceed without jeopardizing what they already had.
He had left the letters he had written to her out on the bed he was sleeping on at Liam's. He picked up the box that housed them and perused through them, looking for one that would inspire and help him think of what he should do. Most of the letters from elementary school were angsty and poorly written. The letters from high school were a bit more bright, but filled with drama he wasn't ready to face. His letters from college and his time with the navy were tucked in the back, still new. He didn't need to read those, as most of them were still pretty fresh in his mind.
He eventually settled on one from middle school. He didn't remember exactly what had happened to make him write the letter he was now holding, but the message was loud and clear. He would do anything to win Emma, to make sure she was happy and loved, to make sure she had everything she ever wanted. And he somehow knew exactly what to do.
Dear Emma,
It's hard to believe we are turning thirteen soon. Actual teenagers. I'm sure your parents are throwing you a big party. You will get to have all your friends there and you will have so many presents. It's not the same for me. Liam will celebrate it with me, he will take me out to my favorite Chinese restaurant and he will have a small present for me, but no party, no friends, no real celebration. But, that doesn't matter, what matters is you have a wonderful birthday.
I still wonder about your feelings surrounding your birthday. I know it wasn't talked about much growing up, or if it was talked about we were hidden from the conversation; but I wonder how you feel about celebrating your birthday two days after your actual birthday - on the day the Swans adopted you.
But never mind all that. I am actually writing for a reason.
Today was a tough day at school and Liam isn't home. So here I am again, writing to you, knowing I will probably never send this letter to you. Knowing that you probably never see the writing on this page. But, I need to talk to someone, and I know you will always be there for me, even if you don't know it.
I was sitting at lunch when all of a sudden it felt like the world was crumbling around me. It's still kinda early in the school year, but people have already paired off and chosen their friends' tables. Of course, I am sitting by myself again. Well, there are people sitting at the table with me, but I don't talk to them and they don't talk to me. We just sit there in a comfortable silence. It hasn't bothered me in the past, but today, it did. I was watching all the other groups; they were laughing, talking about their weekend plans, discussing the upcoming dance, and having fun. It dawned on me that I would probably never have what those kids have. Not unless I move back and see you again. I will never have a friend like those around me - someone I can confide in no matter the situation. You were that person for me, you are that person for me.
You know, I think friendships are like true loves. You only have one TRUE friendship, one that means more to you than anything else, one that makes everything better. It's like true love, it stands the test of time. I had that with you. And now, I feel lost without it. Nobody will really understand me the way you did.
Now I know how that must sound - especially since we were so young. How can anyone know such things at such a young age? How can I even tell when as time goes on we forget things from our childhood? Well, the way our friendship made me feel tells me I won't forget it. Just like those true loves, some memories stay with us forever. We will never forget them, no matter what else happens. Your friendship with me is that memory. How could I forget our late night adventures during the summer - when my mom and yours let us sleep outside right on the grass, our sleeping bags unzipped because it was just far too hot to keep them closed, with the stars and moon acting as our nightlight? We stayed up way too late for five year olds, talking about what we were going to do at the amusement park the next week. I distinctly remember your dad coming out and telling us if we didn't go to sleep we would have to go back inside our respective houses and go to sleep there. I remember when our Kindergarten teacher yelled at you for sharing your crayons with another little girl in our class. I remember that we didn't sit together, much to our protest, so I had to run over to you to hug you when you started to cry; because I couldn't stand the thought of you upset. I hated when you cried. I remember the teacher telling me to go back to my seat; I remember telling her to bugger off; I remember getting in a whole lot of trouble from ma that night because of what I said, but all I cared about was making you happy, making sure you knew someone was in your corner.
I miss that, is what I guess I am saying. I miss you. I miss our friendship.
You have no idea what I would do to just be your friend again; your real friend. Like a friend who isn't thousands of miles away and who doesn't talk to you. I mean like those kids I know who sit together at lunch, who make weekend plans, who wouldn't want to do anything without the other one by their side. Now, I'm sure you have friends like that now, you have to (you are pretty amazing, it's hard for anyone to not be friends with you); but I sure wish it could be me. I wish we could make more memories and have a bond that is unbreakable.
But, I know that can never happen.
I've asked Liam a few times if we could move back home. I've begged him to even take a trip. Each time though, I always get the same answer. It's always "One day we will go back, but not today, we don't have the money." He's been saying the same thing to me for years now. One day.
One day will never come though, and it's probably for the best.
I have no idea what is going on in your life; but I can probably take a really good guess. You are probably surrounded by friends. You never had issues getting kids to like you. You were everyone's helper. I am also pretty sure that you aren't living in a small two bedroom apartment that has mold and crazy neighbors that like to yell at each other randomly at 2 in the morning. You don't have to worry about if your brother is going to be able to bring home enough money to get you new clothes or enough food to last the month. I'm pretty sure your parents are still together, and both alive.
What I am trying to say is that you deserve a better friend than me. That is why this all is probably for the best. You don't need to be around someone like me.
If we were still friends; if my parent's fucked up relationship never screwed us over, you would probably not benefit from me at all. It was always going to be a one-sided friendship. You would always make me a better person, not vice-versa.
Yet here I am, still, wishing that we were together and you were back in my life.
What's worse is that I have feelings for you. That's strange right?
On top of seeing everyone making weekend plans with their friends, having people to confide in, I am constantly bombarded with images of people coupling up. I knew one day it would come, but I always hoped I would be in high school. 7th grade does seem a bit early to start pairing off, but it's all I see. I see all these couples in the hallways; I see the guys in my classes getting ready for their first dates; I hear the planning and I see the feelings they have.
And I wish that you were here. I wish I was doing all those things with you.
That's weird right? I haven't seen you in almost ten years, yet I feel a pull towards you. I only picture you when I picture myself making those plans and doing all the things the boys in my year are doing.
We were so close when we were younger and I have to wonder if we would still be so close if I had stayed. I would hope so, but I know I wouldn't be the only one feeling this way about you.
Alright, well, I'm going to stop rambling. What I just wanted to say is that it was hard today missing you. Most days are hard without you, but today was one of the hardest since ma died. It's hard facing a life where i'm probably going to be alone because no one will hold a light to you. It's hard knowing that I don't get to share my days with you, that I don't have someone who understands me the way you do. I wish that there was a way we could go back to what we used to be; before life screwed everything up.
Love always,
Killian
Thinking back on the time, Killian couldn't believe what he wrote. What a little emo shit he was. He could remember sitting alone - something he had done since he was in second grade. He prefered it. Like he said in the letter, no one compared to Emma, so he didn't even want anyone to try.
It wasn't until his first year in high school that he really started developing friendships and venturing out of his comfort zone that his memories and dreams of Emma created.
The letter wasn't very inspiring, but it did make him realize how deep his feelings for his old friend were. Even back then, he pictured himself with Emma. Even though the only version of Emma he had was a dream.
So even though it was quite stupid of him to bring up the promise so quickly, he knew deep down it was the reason he wanted to see her again after all these years. He wanted to know if there was a spark there that could actually develop into something. Yes, he missed his friendship, but he also wanted to see if the things he had felt for an imagination of her translated to the real thing.
And so far it did.
It hadn't even been an hour since they had parted ways when he sent her a message, deciding that it was now or never.
Hey love, want to hang out tomorrow?
He didn't hold his breath this time. Maybe it was because of her response as she left, maybe it was because of how he felt holding her in his arms, or maybe it was because of the three little dots that popped up almost immediately (ok, it was probably that but he didn't want to admit it) - it didn't matter, because he was pretty sure he knew the answer.
Sure. I have some things to do in the morning, but i'm free around noon.
He smiled as he typed his response.
Perfect. Meet me at the park at noon.
Ok, night.
Night, Swan.