I came to with my head spinning.

...Wait, no, that doesn't properly describe it.

I came to with my guts feeling like they were in about ten different knots, my eyes feeling like they were repeatedly poking me in the brain pan, my head feeling like somebody had made my brain into a flute, and a vague, much more general feeling I should probably check to make sure my eyeballs weren't in my throat.

Much more accurate.

Of course, my first reaction was entirely understandable- I continued to lay flat on my back, generally having an unpleasant time.

Inspirational, I'm sure. I bet the Flash did the exact same thing after accidentally an entire shelf of exploding chemicals to the face. But alas, I was not the Flash. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just spend a few months sitting around. I had things to do.

So I made some vague attempts at noise and rolled onto my face, because I'm a competent and motivated person. "Guh," I most heroically said, in a manner that could inspire nations.

A few moments more, and… I continued to apply body to floor until not feeling like I could vomit out my own intestines and strangle somebody with them.

In retrospect, I thought to myself, throat dry as I pushed myself up, I probably should have just made a laser, shouldn't I? A laser would have been much easier. And safer. Unless it exploded, which would be bad, but this is probably going to end up making something explode as well.

Damnit, I'd just tempted fate. Now it was inevitable.

Teetering for a second as I got to my feet, I brought up my watch to check the time. If I'd been here for a day... well, I'd need lunch, for one. And my father would probably be trying to murder somebody. Fortunately, I hadn't. "...Only out for an hour," I noted. I glanced at my hands. "No obvious mutations. That's… good." I frowned, then winced as moving my face brought up another bout of nausea. "Though it would be nice if I knew how long is safe to be out when you're splicing aliens into your DNA."

In retrospect, I was suddenly feeling a lot less confident in my scientific abilities.

I headed for the computer screen, legs still a bit wobbly, and turned a camera on so I could check myself over. I took my hat off. "I haven't gone bald, at least," I said, not seeing any differences in…

Huh. I leaned in closer, flicking my eyes left-to-right.

My irises seemed a little silvery, for some reason. Still the same dark-green as normal, but… that was a little concerning. I opened my mouth- Nope, I thought, it's not some whole-tissue thing. Just eyeballs. Or maybe it's pigment in general, and it's just not visible beneath the upper skin layers?

I shook my head. Whatever was up with that, there didn't seem to be any indications it was anything but cosmetic. There weren't any problems I would have expected to see if the serum went wrong- I'd just have to hope it wouldn't bite me in the ass in the middle of punching a certain purple asshole (and wow I did not want to repeat that phrasing) in the face.

So. Still alive? Check. Not a tentacle monster? Check. Eyeballs firmly outside of throat?

...I opened my mouth to check.

Check, I thought. Thank Christ.

Next on the list was… to check if I actually had super-powers now, probably. I pulled my extendable rod from its belt, and flicked it open. Then I grabbed two sides, and…

...Wait, no, this is a stupid idea. I retracted it and put it on my belt so I wouldn't break my only weapon trying to see if punching would be more effective (spoilers: it wouldn't, at least not against the tactile power-absorber).

"What else is there…" I muttered, scanning over my workspace, before I realised that I had methods that didn't involve trying to destroy things. "...Idea get!"

I jumped in place. This provided nothing but severe disappointment, as nothing but the expected happened- that is, the expected for a six-year-old trained by the Bat-Family over a few weeks for acrobatics, rather than the expected for someone who'd spliced kryptonian mitochondria thingies into their cells.

Frowning, I flexed my arm, trying to feel for anything different. ...There's definitely something different going on there, I thought. It doesn't quite feel how it normally does. It took me a couple of tries before I figured it out.

My muscles weren't just pulling- they were pushing, too, using echinoderm hydraulic systems and my own blood as a hydraulic fluid. (Or, at least, that was what I was going with until I could actually do a proper analysis.) Which was all well and good, but echinoderms were... generally not known for explosive strength, to say the least. So that was just a lifting capacity increase for all intents and purposes.

(Side note- a proper analysis was something I was really wanting to do right now. But alas, purple janitors of doom took priority.)

Thinking more along those lines, I prodded my arm. It felt perfectly normal on the surface, but with a bit more pressure, I felt a bit of resistance. That'd be the silicoskeleton, I noted. The optical fibres that formed it weren't visible amongst the pores of my skin, which meant two things- that everything was fine and dandy, and that I didn't have any Kryptonian super-senses. Bummer.

"What else, what else…" Well, I thought sardonically, there's always the electric eel. That had been planned to boost the negligible Kryptonian bioenergy, but if I didn't seem to have any Kryptonian stuff… I turned awa from the computer, pointed my hands at a nearby wall jokingly, tensed, and said, "Bzzt."

The sounds I made directlyafter that mocking 'bzzt' were a shrill sound of panic, followed by garbled curses, as I remembered that the electric eels in this universe don't precisely work like the ones at home. This was, of course, because my hands exploded with electricity rather than anything rational or sane.

Or, at least, it had seemed like an explosion in my startled state. In reality it was more like one of those static globe balls flashing into existence, and dying out just as quickly.

Either way, the effects were dramatic- and my eyes widened as I turned to my computer.

The bigass supercomputer that had been caught in the arcs.

In a universe where electricity did bad things to electronics. Of the 'computer go boom boom' variety.

I sprinted to the other end of the room- and was about halfway across when the computer, as expected, spontaneously became made out of explodium.

I wasn't knocked off my feet. Even so, I felt the shards of plastic casing falling around me, and my beautiful hat was knocked off from my head. I caught myself on the opposite wall, panting, more from adrenaline than exertion.

Then I turned back around to see my beautiful, beautiful computer in a state of being most thoroughly broken, and partially on fire, to add insult to injury.

"...Fffffffffffffffff," I said, entirely coherently.

This was going swimmingly. Swimmingly! Not only had I applied an untested super serum to myself, not only had I gotten my bike destroyed, I'd gotten my supercomputer- and all the 'fuck you Luthor this is my kryptonian bullshit' and 'hey Batman give me your contact details' fuckery contained within- blown up.

Due to power testing.

Fucking power testing, of all the ways I could have managed it.

Christ.

"Couldn't it have at least been a dramatic moment?" I groaned, watching it begin to go up in flames. I grabbed the fire extinguisher- the hydraulics made carrying it easier, at least- and continued to curse under my breath as I sprayed it out. "Guh, and now my base is going to smell like burnt plastic…"

I paused.

"...I should not be breathing this air," I realised, and headed out through the secret exit. It was nothing much- just a few tunnels and whatnot- but it was enough to make my secret base a lot secret-ier.

As I emerged behind a building, pushing up a hinged fake concrete tile, I blinked. I suddenly felt… odd, now that the the light was on me. Not like I was going to mutate or anything (though I don't know what that would feel like), but…

I blinked. I'm an idiot, I realised.

Then, I took off my mask, hat, gloves, adorable little cape coat thingy… Basically, all the little accessories I was wearing... and stepped into the nearest pool of sunlight.

Now, imagine the sated feeling after a really nice meal. And the feeling of released tension from just walking around after a full stretch-and-exercise. Then add a few more concepts of general feelings of wellbeing on top, and stir in some random probable non-human biology for taste.

That was what just standing there, basking, felt like. And suddenly, I realised, I understand why Supergirl fought crime in a miniskirt.

...I had a sudden mental image of an older version of myself dressed in a similarly less-than-appropriate outfit, and shuddered. "Yeah," I said to myself, "let's get back in costume."

My attempt at walking was when I realised that yes, I had thought this through even less than I thought I had. Instead of placing one foot in front of the other, I moved a leg backwards- and promptly found myself skidding face-first on the floor.

"...Ow," I said, more out of surprise than any actual damage. I moved to push myself up... and promptly overbalanced when my arm supported more of my body weight than I'd expected.

...This is not a good look for a superhero, I thought, staring up at the sky with a resigned sigh.

I tried again- and managed to stay on balance, this time. Walking over to my superhero accessories was a bit arduous, and I had to get my coat thing on carefully instead of just thrusting my arms at the appropriate sleeve until it was being worn like I normally did, but I managed to get everything on without tearing something.

Right, I told myself.Super strength is not all it's cut out to be. That's why there's a whole speech about it.

Deciding to get any other unexpected powers out of the way, I made some attempts at using them. Laser eyes turned up negative. So did flight. Not even shooting tiny power-granting versions of myself from my fingers was possible.

I sighed. "Yup," I noted. "Formula was weak. Or I need more sunlight. Either or."

Oh well- I could always order in some oriental hornets. Now those would be a good way to bring the kryptonian physiology up to full power, I thought. Mueheheheheh…

I took a few more steps, slowly speeding up. So far, so good. I shifted gait into a jog-

-and promptly fell over again.Le sigh. My costume was going to befilthy by the time I was done falling over. It was really goddamn lucky I had this conveniently empty alleyway to practice in- well, I'd chosen it as the exit to my secret base thing specifically because it was conveniently empty, but still.

I worked my way up through the gaits- it might have been fifteen, twenty minutes before I was comfortable in a run, and another five minutes of repeatedly falling off a roof after that. By the time half an hour had passed, I was competent enough to consider getting Parasite's attention.

Fortunately, I was smart enough to do precisely the opposite.

Taking out my heroing phone, I had it set a route. Minimal visibility, check. Start point my location, check. End point STAR Labs, check.

I nodded. Let's do this, I thought.

I most certainly did not mentally shout the name of one Mr Jenkins in my head directly afterwards.