FOOLS RUSH IN:
Summary: Emma Swan has been married since she was five years old. Under the old oak tree, she wed Killian Jones, her neighbor. Then, he moved away, but made one final promise, that one day he would marry her for real. See what happens when he returns to make good on his promise.
Fools Rush in Chapter Twelve
A/N: Thanks to CSBB for once again organizing an amazing event. I've been missing Captain Swan for the past year, and having this has helped so much! Thanks to Lana ( high-seas-swan) and Kaitlyn ( Spartanguard) for their beta help. Go check out Lana's story when you get a moment as well – it's amazing! Thanks to Rachel ( Ladyciaramiggles) for the art she has provided. Also, thanks to Kris ( sambethe) for the cover art for the story and for beta help. All of you have made this story what it is! I hope you all enjoy what's happening and what is coming! Hope you enjoy - more smut and fluff ahead, but something is stirring!
Unlike the morning before, Emma wanted to wake up today. Waking up meant more time in Killian's arms, more time being ravished and adored. Henry was set to come home in a couple of hours, and they would have to watch themselves, so time was of the essence.
She stretched up, the ache in some of the muscles she hadn't used in a couple of years prevalent. It was a good ache though, one that reminded her of the wicked games they had played the previous night. Her fingers wiggled before they came down to run through her blonde locks. Tangles gripped them as she reached the base of her neck.
As she threaded her fingers through again, working out the knots slowly, Emma smiled at the memory of Killian and her, rolling around in the sheets after a quick nap.
Never before had she had a night like that. Everyone before Killian left after they slept together. No one ever stayed around to pick up where they left off. They never had the opportunity - she kicked them out as soon as she could. So, even if they wanted to, she didn't give them the chance.
After the multitude of orgasms he gave her first, she was surprised he was willing to give her more. By her estimates, they arrived back at the house around 11 and fell asleep around midnight. He woke her up around 3, and again at 6, to show her just how much more he wanted to give her.
The first time he woke her up, he did it by giving her sweet kisses, his hands palming her breasts and his wicked words in her ears. The second time, she was awoken by his tongue lapping at her, moaning how it drove him crazy that she was already ready for him even in her sleep.
So, when she had woken up around 9, she was ready for more.
A thought came to her mind as she rolled in bed to look at the man who was starting to be the only thing she thought about. He looked calm, his breathing regular. She loved his chest hair, how it stuck up in different directions thanks to her running her fingers through it as she rode him to her own release a few hours earlier.
It was quickly becoming her new favorite thing, being on top of him, lowering herself onto his hardness, feeling herself clench around him.
Things were different with him; everything was different with him. Emma had enjoyed sex in the past, but never as much as she did last night. No one had ever made her feel both in control and at a loss all at the same time. He knew just the line to walk with her-giving her enough demands, but requesting her own at the same time. They were together through the whole thing, neither giving or taking more than the other. The way he looked at her had her shaking, especially as she was close to coming. He looked at her like he was seeing for the first time, and it drove her insane with lust. And a little bit of love.
So, as she watched him sleep, remembering every little detail from the night before, she knew she owned him a wake up call as well.
Carefully, trying not the shift the mattress too much, she moved over him.
He had went down on her out each time he woke her last night, but he didn't let her reciprocate. She begged him a bit, saying she wanted to suck him dry, but he never let her. Instead, he would kiss her senseless, until she was begging for him in a different way.
Killian was lying on his back, one arm rested above his head, while the other settled across his chest. He also slept naked, which Emma was thankful for. She didn't need to fumble around with moving him and taking his clothes off - it would ruin the surprise.
She reached down and grasped his erection in her hand. She wasn't too surprised that he was already hard. He confessed the night before that it had been normal the past week for him to wake up hard and need a cold shower in order to function around her. She blushed when he said it.
She was also annoyed it had taken them this long to fall into bed together, especially after the explosion that happened when they finally met, but her heart was thankful. They had both dealt with some heartbreak, him more than her, and she didn't want them to break because of their past.
Her hand began moving up and down, her eyes staring at him, watching for any signs that he was waking up. She heard a slight hum as his head turned a bit. He was coming out of sleep quicker than she expected.
Before he could fully wake up she bent down and took him in her mouth. She moved up and down slowly, her hand training behind her mouth.
When she looked up, after a minute or two, she was met with dark blue eyes. The intensity of the stare made her waver a bit; his eyes tore into her soul, searching for Emma's feelings, searching to see if she felt the same as he did. Not only did they say that, but they told her that she wouldn't be getting out of bed for a very long time, as they consumed her and wanted her.
His hand that rested on his chest came up and gripped her hair, a slight pain shocking her body. She enjoyed him rough, and the way his hand moved her head the way he wanted, was driving her wild. She was determined to make him feel the way she felt whenever he touched her. She wanted him to not remember his own name when she was through with him.
She took him deeper, pushing him as far back in her throat as she could. She felt the normal reflex kick in, but relaxed a bit, to take him farther than anyone before. She hummed as she started to move back up, her teeth raking across his sensitive skin, causing him to groan in need.
Her eyes flicked back up to him, a small grin crossing her face as she moved back down in a slow fashion.
"Fuck, Emma," he growled.
She continued to suck, moving faster now that he was awake, and his moans egged her on. While she wanted to be with him again, she also wanted to control his release the way he did with her. The hand that wrapped around strands of hair told her to keep going as well.
Her pace quickened; Emma wanted to draw it out, but she also wanted to see him fall apart while all her attention was focused on him. He had claimed that watching her come was the best thing he had ever witnessed, and since he was always coming when she did, she never watched his climax. But now, she wanted to see it.
He was close. He had stopped watching her, his head bobbing up and and down, his face pushed together, as if he was in pain; but Emma knew it wasn't a true pain, but the pain of pleasure, one that you only got from trying to hold out, instead of just letting the feelings wash over.
"I'm going to come, Emma," he warned.
She continued her rhythm, lowering her mouth down on him quickly, but pulling up slowly. She could feel him pulsing in her mouth, tasting some saltiness as he came closer and closer to his release.
She sucked a bit harder, moaning around him, causing him to moan her name and fling his head back.
"Emma!" he cried as he came, his hands falling to his side, one hand grasping at the comforter.
She didn't move, letting him empty himself in her mouth. Her eyes focused on him - noticing the flush of his skin. His eyes were pushed closed, and his mouth wide open, moans escaping it. She could see his heart beat in his chest and he tried to steady himself. Once he stilled in her mouth, she swallowed, looking up at him with a satisfied grin.
She tried to crawl off of him, but his arms came up to wrap around her waist, pulling her down on top of him. The sparkle in his eyes held everything she needed to know - that he thoroughly enjoyed himself, that he was in awe of what she was capable of doing, and that he was going to pay her back for it. She giggled as she settled into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. She could hear the beating of his quickened heart in his chest and it soothed her, almost enough for her to fall back asleep.
"That was the best way to wake up," he sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple and rubbing his hands up and down her back.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Her reply held a small amount of sarcasm, daring him to say anything different.
"I very much did," he laughed, his movement bouncing Emma in her nook.
His hands started to roam over her body, sending goosebumps along her skin. His leg came between them, pushing her legs open. Without any effort, his hands moved her over so that she was now resting on her back with him nestled in her nook. His tongue darted out, licking her skin just beneath her ear.
"Mmmm, you taste heavenly, love," he said in a sultry voice, making Emma wiggle underneath his touch. His hands still moved across her body, feeling every inch except the one area where she desperately needed him.
She knew she was wet, she woke up needing him, never getting enough, and the feeling of his cock in her hands and mouth made her even more ready for him. Hell, she was tempted to play with herself while going down on him, but she was glad all of her attention was focused on him.
Now, though, she didn't have to focus on anything; she could just let the pleasure come.
One of his hands flirted with her waiting nub, causing her to whimper with each pass. She knew he was teasing her, and while it was driving her crazy, she didn't want him to stop. She was enjoying the game he was playing. The pleasure was building up inside of her, and she knew when he finally made her come, she would feel a rush of pleasure unlike anything else she had ever felt. The way he knew and played her body made her love him even more.
She shook the last thought from her mind, she didn't need to be thinking about her feelings towards him; especially not feelings of love. She didn't trust those feelings, she couldn't. Not until she knew exactly what he was feeling. She couldn't let her feelings mess with what they had going for them. Love changes everything, and she didn't want things to change.
Love was something that scared her, truthfully. It wasn't because she hadn't seen real love before; because she had some good models in her parents and Mary Margaret and David. It was because she saw what love could sometimes make you do - like pack your kids and life up to chase after a man who really didn't love you. Emma loved Killian's mother, but she saw just how bad love can sometimes treat people. And she didn't want to end up like her, chasing Killian around the globe, begging him to love her the way she loved him. She was pretty sure he wouldn't do that to her, but the anxiety was still there - it took him all this time to come back to her, so what was to say he wouldn't leave again?
Feelings had no place in what they were doing. She couldn't let herself get hurt, couldn't let Henry get hurt. So, in her mind, if she kept her true, deep feelings hidden, she wouldn't get hurt and Henry wouldn't get hurt either. They could all live together, doing what they have been doing, for years, with no one getting hurt.
There was a small voice in the back of her mind that said it wouldn't work like that, though, that she knew Killian felt the same way about her; but there was a larger voice, one that yelled rather than whispered, that told her to protect her heart.
His fingers finally stayed on her clit, pulling her from her thoughts, thankfully. Emma couldn't let herself get deeper inside her own insecurities. His fingers kept her in the present, where she wanted to be.
As if he sensed her thoughts had taken her away from him, he turned her head using his free hand, and kissed her deeply, so perfectly, that she forgot what she was even worried about in the first place.
His tongue met hers in a feverish manner, demanding hers to keep up the pace. His teeth gripped her lower lip in-between the passionate kisses, causing her to moan and her legs to spread wider, allowing him better access to her aching core.
"Tell me how you want it, Emma," he whispered as he broke the kiss, allowing each of them to catch their breath.
"Mmmmm," she moaned, unsure of how to respond. She just wanted him, wanted to come, and wanted him to be the person who made her cry out in pleasure. But she also knew it got him off when she told him what to do.
The night before, there was equal give and take between them, time where Emma told him what to do or took the reins, and others where a dominant side of Killian came out.
She loved both sides of him, but in that moment, she didn't want to tell him what to do, she just wanted him to do it.
He looked at her as his fingers played between her thighs. She looked at him, silently pleading and telling him exactly what she was thinking.
"I think you want me to keep playing with you like this, my fingers teasing you, to the point you can't comprehend what is going on. I think you want my mouth on your perky nipples, sucking them and biting. I think you want me to make you come just like this, so you can scream my name before I capture your lips. I think you want my lips on your neck, whispering dirty thoughts in your ear," he said with a husky tone, darkness filling his eyes again.
All she could do was nod, telling him that was exactly what she wanted.
He did just that; his fingers teasing her, coming close to her heated core, but never entering. His fingers playing her clit like a guitar, sending shocks up her spine with each passing motion. His mouth took turns between giving attention to her nipples and her neck. He didn't stay in the same place for too long, moving every few seconds. He blew on her neck and nipples before leaving them. He didn't leave either alone though-his hand that wasn't on her clit rubbed her nipple and cupped her breast while his mouth was at her neck, moving to pull her hair when he went back to her chest.
The minutes passed quickly, but felt like ages at the same time. Emma found herself panting, needing more air to survive as his assault on her senses continued. He knew she was closing in on the edge of her climax. The way he attacked her neck told her he wanted her to come.
He put two fingers into her, causing her to cry out, his name on her lips. He captured her mouth and kissed her senseless as his fingers lazily moved in and out of her, her orgasm lasting longer than usual thanks to his fingers drawing it out. She closed her eyes, soaking in the pleasure that racked through her system. It was like she was weightless, but weighed a thousand tons at the same time. Her soul was floating away from her body. When he pulled them out of her, he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean, surprising Emma at how turned on she was by the act. She was ready for another go simply thanks to that act.
Looking at him, she knew he was ready to go as well.
She pulled him back against her, his lips crashing against hers. She reached beneath them, hand cupping his dick, moving it to her entrance. With each of them on their sides, faces close to touching, he entered her, her head falling back as he filled her perfectly. She loved the way he moved in her, the way she felt full when he was all the way inside of her. She never felt more perfect.
The night before was filled with feverish activities, both of them going hard and fast, not really wanting to savor the moment once it came; but this morning was a different monster. Emma could feel the difference in the air. Now that they knew each other, and that their first time was out of the way, they could take their time. Nights always have a different feel to them; they are sexier, more seductive. Morning brought a different feeling to their bedroom, one that was more lazy and relaxed. They could take their time, learn the small details of what made the other tick.
He moved in and out of her slowly, his forehead pressed against hers, his nose touching hers, he was breathing her in. His eyes held hers, she was unable to look away. It was becoming their things, their eyes finding each other and keeping them captivated.
Her hands wrapped around his back, pulling him deeper into her. Her chest was pressed against his, the hairs on his tickling her perky nipples, causing her pleasure to escalate. She didn't need his hands anymore. Having him so close to her, and the intimacy of what they were doing, was all she needed. Her leg hitched over his, her toes curled into the bed, trying to give her traction. The way they were fucking wasn't like it had been the night before - this one held more emotion.
Emma was back in her head, thinking about what she would call what they were doing. They weren't fucking. There was too much emotion moving between them at that moment to be a simple morning fuck. She didn't want to fully admit it, but she knew exactly what they were doing.
They were making love.
Her eyes closed, not wanting him to know what she was thinking. She didn't even want to think what she was thinking.
Instead, she focused on the movement that was happening, and begged Killian to fuck her.
"Fuck me, Killian, hard. Please," she moaned, hoping to egg him on.
"As you wish," he responded, picking up his pace.
Thankfully, it did the trick, and with each thrust into her, she was closer to the release she was begging for. His hands came up to cup her face as he rotated his hips, making the thrusts deeper and more powerful.
He kissed her with a deep intimacy when he brought his lips to hers. It was a kiss to match what they were doing. It wasn't quick or seductive, but thoughtful and filled with love.
Emma would probably have found this all very cheesy and cliche, but it all felt right. The only thing that was missing was some 90's R&B to set the mood, even though it wasn't needed.
Things were perfect just how they were. His lips met hers perfectly. His hands held hers perfectly, one of his interlinked near their hips, while the other found her hair. She made a mental note to wear her hair down more often, as it seemed to be one of the things he obsessed with most.
Killian thrusted quick, sending Emma over the edge, her orgasm racing through her blood. He didn't come too far behind her. Neither of them yelled or cursed, but they did deepen their kiss, breathing each other in as if their life depended on it.
They both stopped moving, only the rise and fall of their chests could be seen. Emma was pretty sure her heart was going to give out. They had barely moved, but Emma felt like she had run a marathon in the past thirty minutes. She was sweaty and needed a large glass of water, and maybe a nice long bath to ease her sore muscles.
She sighed at the thought. The bath sounded wonderful, but she was pretty sure that her time had run out and Henry would be home soon.
She gave Killian and quick kiss on the lips before she slipped off him and moved towards the end of the bed. She was stopped though, before she could even stretch and place a foot on the floor.
"Where do you think you're going love?" He said directly in her ear, the heat of his breath causing goosebumps to appear on her skin again.
"We need to get ready, Henry will be home any time," she said, but made no motion to get out of the bed.
"Just five more minutes," he begged her like a teenage who just wanted five more minutes with a video game.
"Ok," she sighed, leaning farther back, just enough for him to pull her back to the bed, and to his kisses.
She knew, just like with Henry and all the students in her classroom, five more minutes would turn into a few more hours-but she couldn't say no.
Emma finally broke away from Killian and the bed a few hours later. Thankfully, Henry had texted saying he would be staying with Avery for lunch - saying something about finishing their campaign. She didn't want Henry walking into what they had been doing.
Killian's craving for her was insatiable; even after another round in bed followed by extensive cuddling, which included Killian whispering sweet stories of his travels to her. He even ran her a bath, sitting down inside of the tub, pulling her to sit between his legs. He put an ample amount soap in his hands, lathered it up and massaged it into Emma's aching muscles. She almost fell asleep against his chest, his hands kneading away all the soreness and worry.
She let the sun shine into her room, creating a lovely bubble that she didn't want to leave; but she knew the longer they spent in bed, the harder it will be to get out when the time finally came.
She didn't bother putting any clothes on either, before she padded down the hallway to the kitchen, needing sustenance. She knew she had some fresh fruit and some handy snacks that would do the job. Plus, if they continued on the path they had been for the past 12 hours, she knew she would need something quick, that would still give her energy.
The food and snacks were abandoned though before Emma was even able to put them on a plate to bring into the bedroom. Killian's need for her outweighed his need for food. He came up behind her, still naked as well, and kissed her neck as his erection rubbed against her back. He took her there in the kitchen, on top of the table that they used every night for dinner.
The rest of their evening went the same, with Killian unable to keep his hands to himself, and Emma not stopping him. She didn't want to, not really.
He did behave, though, once Henry got home.
She couldn't put off his return, so she forced Killian to put clothes on for the first time that day and help her clean the mess they had made in the kitchen. And just like all the other nights they had had, he offered to make dinner for them. Although, his suggestion to eat out was almost taken, thanks to the looks Emma kept making when looking at the table.
They were both able to keep it together when Henry arrived home. The rest of the night was relaxed, with them making eyes at each other every chance they got. Emma knew better this time than to think that her son didn't catch them, but she didn't mind. Maybe if Henry saw a good relationship in his own home, it would influence him to be a better man
It wasn't the first time Emma had thought about that. Yes, she knew it would be easier to adopt Henry with a husband; but she also knew he needed a male role model around, that wasn't David or her father. Henry needed to see how a real family operates on a day to day basis. Emma had seen a lot of kids who grew up not knowing how to treat women thanks to not having a positive male role model at home. And while she knew Henry would never treat a woman poorly, she wanted to show him a loving relationship.
And Killian was such a good role model.
He was kind. He did things for Emma without a second thought. He didn't conform to traditional male roles - preferring to cook and clean. Emma especially liked that part. But he was loving and tender. He didn't hide his emotions or feelings for her.
Emma didn't grow up seeing that. She knew her parents loved each other; but she never saw them kissing or being intimate.
Maybe if she had, her previous relationships would have been better.
After their wonderful meal, where Killian kept Henry's attention by asking him question after question about what he had done at Avery's, Henry asked if they could do Family Game Night.
"You want us to have a Family Game Night?" Killian asked, clearly surprised at how Henry phrased the suggestion.
"Yeah," he said before he continued. "Mary Margaret and David host one once a month; so why shouldn't we?"
Before Emma could interject - reminding Henry that the Nolan's Game Night was adults only, and normally involved 10 bottles of wine minimum, all while playing Cards Against Humanity, but more importantly kid-free - Henry continued.
"I know theirs is different, but we could do our own - play a board game and talk about what we are all doing next week," he finished, looking more towards Killian than Emma.
It made her think about why Henry was asking them that way. He had done it when asking about the field trip. It was like Henry was already used to Killian being around all the time, like he was worried what would happen if Killian moved out. Which Emma was pretty sure Henry still thought was a possibility. She wished she could tell him he had nothing to worry about; that just like him, she was getting used to Killian's presence and would love to see him stick around for the long haul. But her hopes were already up, and she didn't want her son feeling the same. It was better if he was grounded in reality, prepared for the worst - especially since Emma knew she wasn't.
"That sounds wonderful, lad," Killian said, a bright smile crossing his face.
"Cool!" Henry exclaimed. "Let's start now! I got Risk, Apples to Apples, Candy Land, Monopoly…"
"How about we save game night for tomorrow? Make it one big thing?" Emma suggested, cutting Henry off before he decided they should just play everything.
While game night sounded fun, and while she would love to show Killian just how good she was at games after her embarrassing showing at the restaurant the night before, she was also worn out, the day's activities finally getting to her.
"Really?" Henry asked, an excitement filling his voice.
Emma smiled at him, but there was a little voice in the back of her mind saying she should have done this sooner. She was always trying to give Henry the perfect home life. She wanted to wash away all of the bad memories he carried around with him. She silently berated herself for not thinking of Game Night in the past. But, something also told her it felt right that Henry brought it up and that Killian was involved.
"Yes," she began, "we can make popcorn and get junk food. We can even do a matinee movie before we get into the game. What do you say, kid?"
"I say, hell yes!" With that, he jumped out of his chair and punched the air.
"Language!" Emma exclaimed, but one that held a soft tone, and a shake of the head. She had to be the annoying mother every once in a while.
Henry giggled as he sat down.
"Sorry," but Emma knew he wasn't really.
"So, we will go to the midday movie, hit up the grocery store for some junk food, then head back here to see who is the best?" Killian asked.
"I challenge you to the Game of Life, Killian!" Henry replied, a huge smile across his face.
"You are so on!" Killian said, reaching out to shake hands with Henry.
All while Emma watched with a smile on her face, knowing there was no way in hell she would be letting Killian go. Ever.
The next few days went along splendidly. Game night was a huge success. Emma thought she had stuffed herself with theater food as they watched the newest Marvel movie. But, as they all walked down the aisles of the grocery store, with Killian's hand grasping hers, his other hand resting on Henry's shoulder, Emma wanted more; the sweetness of the moment manifesting on her tastebuds. When they got home, and dumped all three bags of junk on the table, Emma once again doubted her stomach's ability to hold in all that sugar. But, in the middle of LIFE as Killian's character, who had four kids and a minivan, moved to retirement, Emma opened up another bag of gummy worms.
She regretted it a few hours later. But there Killian was, offering a cold compress, cold water, and soothing rubs as she fought off sick. It really was like she was a teenage again. The whole thing reminded Emma of the weekend she and Ruby snuck vodka from Granny's into their room during a sleepover. Emma was pretty sure the reason she threw up that night wasn't because she couldn't handle vodka, but because she had 4 bags of candy a few hours earlier. She couldn't help it, though-gummy bears were her weakness.
Even after seeing her in that state, she was surprised that Killian's lust for her never faltered.
She yelled at him to leave her as she laid over the toilet, telling him to go away, not wanting him to see her like that. Even though she protested, Killian still barged into the bathroom, held her close and whispered how gorgeous she was even in the state she was in.
Monday morning arrived with them waking up in the bathroom, Emma's head resting on Killian's lap. She was sure that he would have neck pain the rest of the day, but she was also positive that he wouldn't mind.
For the rest of the week, they spent it like any normal family would, similar to the previous week's activities. However, the new week brought in more comfort and routine.
Every morning, Emma smiled as she got ready for work, knowing that there would be a breakfast and coffee waiting for her, and probably a note from Killian. She went through each day in a bliss, knowing what was going to be waiting for her when she got home. Killian had started to pick up Henry from school, too. She had seen it the first day from her window, that looked out on the parent pick up loop. Killian was waiting in his Jeep, ball cap on and looking relaxed. He hadn't put the roof or doors back on. Emma already knew there were probably a few PTA moms who were staring at him.
They were like vultures, and Emma was jealous. She was pretty sure her cheeks were red as she watched some of the moms get out of their SUVs, which they weren't supposed to do, trying to show off their bodies, perfected by yoga, as they waited for their children to come out of the school.
Killian, though, didn't even notice. While Emma couldn't see his eyes, as they were shaded by his sunglasses, his face never moved from the front of the school building. She knew, deep down, that he would never look at another woman the way he looked at her.
What warmed her heart the most though, was the way he stood up in the Jeep when he noticed Henry walking from the building. She couldn't hear their exchange, but she witnessed Killian hollering to her son, a grin plastered to his face, and Henry running, almost skipping with excitement, towards the Jeep. What she saw when Henry made it into the Jeep though, had her holding her breath. Henry reached over and gave Killian a side hug.
Her son, who wasn't the most trusting of adults, hugged a man he had known less than two weeks. She wanted to take the credit for the act; if it wasn't for her bringing him into their house, none of it would have happened. But she knew she had nothing to do with it. It was all them: Killian's openness and lovability, and Henry's personality and maturity brought them together.
While the scene was unfolding, Emma found herself thinking of the distant future, something she rarely did. Unless it involved Henry being part of her family permanently, she didn't really think about the future. She knew it was in part because of what happened when she was little, but she also knew it was because nothing ever happened the way she planned it. But watching Henry and Killian as they pulled off, heading back towards her house, she couldn't help it.
She saw Killian driving Henry off to college, holding hands with Emma as she sobbed at seeing her son move out. She saw Killian at Henry's graduation, cheering louder than anyone else. She saw Killian at Henry's wedding, standing up as his best man, patting her son on the shoulder as he said his vows to a woman who loved Henry. She saw them sitting in her sunroom, hands linked, listening to their grandchildren yell and scream as they played in the yard.
"Hey…" she heard a voice call from the door to her classroom.
"Hey," she turned around to face Mary Margaret, wiping a tear from her eye that she hadn't realized was there.
"What's wrong?" her friend asked, moving quickly to wrap Emma in her arms.
"Nothing, actually," Emma said, a smile crossing her face.
Nothing was wrong. She was happy. For once, in her life, she felt like everything was going her way. She finally felt like everything was falling into place.
"Oh, Emma," Mary Margaret soothed.
"Really. I mean, I just watched Henry be so excited at Killian picking him up, and the last week has just felt… I don't know…" she finished, unsure of how to describe the week she had. Every word that came to mind just didn't do her feelings justice.
"I know what you mean," her friend said, pulling Emma away from the window to sit down at a table.
"It's like when I first met David. Nothing before him felt real. Nothing was right. Sure, I had a good life, a good family, great friends," she added, nudging Emma in her shoulder, "but none of it really mattered until David came into the picture. He says it was like when we upgraded our TV. Sure, there was nothing wrong with that 50 inch TV we got at the wedding, at least I didn't think there was, but David was right that everything would look better by upgrading."
Emma smiled, remembering the fight the two had over that damn TV.
"Killian is upgrading your life," Mary Margaret smiled.
That thought stayed with Emma through the week. She thought about it as they ate dinner that night, with Henry talking animatedly about something that happened in PE class. She thought about it again as she laid in bed with Killian, snuggled deep under the covers, calm in her laziness.
Emma was sure other couples didn't follow the schedule they did. She thought back to when Mary Margaret first met David. They were like rabbits. They were so bad Emma walked in on them not once, not twice, but three times over the course of a month period. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves. It was different with Killian.
Sure, she loved the feel of his body on hers, and she was positive if given the chance, he would take Emma without second thought; but he also wanted to show her that his feelings weren't just physical. Maybe it was also because they were older; they didn't need to have sex every night to know what they had was real and meant something.
They just enjoyed the time they had together, so instead of doing anything, they laid in each other's arms talking about their day and discussing random items of the past, learning about each other all over again.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday was the same. Breakfast waiting, Killian picking Henry up with Emma peeking from the window of her classroom, Emma rushing through the door when she got home, unwilling to spend anymore time separated from her boys, a simple family dinner and then bed, cuddled up against Killian.
Some of the nights did involve some scandalous activities, where Emma had to bury her head into the pillow to keep quiet; but she didn't mind that not all of them did.
Henry didn't go away the following weekend. Instead, the three of them spent the weekend together. Emma had never been the outdoorsy type of girl, but she didn't mind a good hike; and the weather was beautiful, so she couldn't say no when Killian asked if they wanted to wake up early and hike.
After eight long hours of hiking, they ate dinner at a cute little diner they passed on the way to the park. Killian ended their night by massaging Emma's sore calves, leading to Killian's face between Emma's legs and her nails digging into his back. She then joined him in the shower where she got on her knees and gave him just as much attention as he showed her.
After Monday's conversation with Mary Margaret, Emma had been thinking more about her relationship with Killian. She really didn't want to think too much about it, knowing that her thoughts would get her nowhere, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was time to really start thinking about what life with Killian would be like. Especially since, in two weeks time, they would have to discuss what Emma had suggested.
She cursed herself each time she thought about it. She regretted it on one hand; hated herself for even thinking about using him to get something else. She hated that she didn't just ask him out right to help her. She hated that she was still keeping the secret from him. But on the other, she was kinda glad she had asked him. If she hadn't, they would have never gotten together, never spent wonderful nights in each other's arms. They probably would have still gotten together, knowing the tension between them, but it probably would have been long, drawn out, and Emma probably would have let her fears get in the way.
Either way, they had to really start talking about it and thinking about it.
Looking back on the past two weeks, Emma had to admit, life with Killian had been splendid. Not only did she go to sleep happy, she spent her entire day that way. She couldn't find one negative thing to say. Plus, it affected her in other parts of her life. She was calmer, more willing to let things just happen.
Life before Killian was good, but it wasn't great. It was nice, but not fantastic. She was happy, but not ecstatic to be living every single day.
She knew what word could describe what she was feeling. She knew what her heart felt, and maybe, after two weeks of living with someone she had really known her whole life, even with the distance, she was ready to confess how she felt.
She loved him.
Her life was complete with Killian. He completed her soul. It was like she had never really seen anything around her since he left, and now that he was back, her entire being burst into color.
She loved him for everything he did for her. She loved the way he held her, loved the way he listened. She loved the dopey look on his face when he talked about something he really enjoyed. She loved the hunger he had for life. She loved the trouble he had been through, and the person it had made him. But, more importantly, she loved that he loved her.
Was she 100% positive he loved her? Yes. Was she sure that his love was true and as deep as what she felt towards him? No.
So, there she was: deeply in love with someone she was pretty sure she had been in love with since childhood; she just wasn't sure she could tell him just yet.
Plus, she wanted to hear him say it first.
When she had told Neal she loved him, she was met with a kiss on the cheek and a "thanks, babe". He never said it back and looking back now, Emma knew if he had, she wouldn't have believed him. She also knew she didn't really mean the words. They were the words of a girl, one who didn't know what true love could feel like. What a love, a deep and pure love, really meant.
So she was scared to tell him. Emma knew he wouldn't speak to her how Neal did; but there was still that fear of what might happen.
Their third week of living together was odd. Emma had become awkward around Killian, especially when they were left alone. On Sunday, before game night and a rowdy game of Monopoly, Killian invited Emma to go to a Color Me Mine. She couldn't say no, as it was something her mother and his used to take them to when they were little.
The drive there was silent. Rarely would they need the radio, since normally they would have a steady conversation flowing; but that day, Emma wished he would turn it on. She caught him glancing at her a few times, with a worried expression on his face, but he never asked her what was wrong.
It was a special painting day, just for adults, with mimosas for the taking. Emma steered clear from that table, knowing the alcohol in her system would loosen her lips, and she still wasn't ready to tell Killian what she was feeling. She started to realize she was also scared it would change things between them. Love did that-changed relationships. Some came out fine after the four-letter revelations, while others didn't last because the people started acting crazy.
Killian didn't let Emma's mood deter his plans. He started talking about work, about a new TV show that was starting, about the pottery they had chosen. He wasn't letting her silence get to him. He must have gotten tired of the one-sided conversation after a while though, because before Emma could stop him, he reached over with his brush and drew a blue line on her nose.
That got her out of her shell. She was mad at first-how could she not be? But when she saw the playful smile on Killian's face, she relaxed. What was she even worried about? It was Killian, after all. If they could still be close after him moving thousands of miles away, they could weather any storm.
So, while the paint brought Emma back out of her own mind, things were still awkward. She wasn't quite sure how to behave around him anymore. She didn't want to give away her feelings. But she wanted to be around him, touch him and feel him, just as much, if not more, than before. But there was still that worry in her mind that he would see right through her, that he wouldn't feel exactly how she felt, that their entire relationship would change.
Sex with him was still good, but she tried to disconnect her feelings from it all, trying not to yell out her love for him every time he touched her.
Finally, on Saturday, at the end of the third and most awkward week, she invited Mary Margaret and Ruby over while Killian took Henry to the comic store. She needed their advice before she ruined everything.
She knew Killian thought something was wrong. He had even asked her, once a day since Sunday. He asked her each night before bed is everything OK love? Are we good? And each night she responded the same. Yes, of course. She meant it, too-there wasn't anything wrong and they were OK; it was just her and her own silly thoughts. But she knew it wasn't fair to either of them to keep things going the way they were.
"Spill it, Emma. What's going on?…. Holy shit, you're pregnant, aren't you?" Ruby asked, in traditional Ruby fashion.
"Ruby," Mary Margaret scolded.
"What?" her friend countered.
"No, I'm not pregnant. Besides, we've only been together that way for a week," she responded.
"Well I knew you were getting some ass; no one is that happy without getting some ass," Ruby said, a Cheshire grin splashed across her face.
"Stop it, Ruby." Mary Margaret swatted at her friend sitting next to her.
"Ok, so if you're not pregnant and I'm not allowed to ask about your probably titillating sex life, what can we talk about?" Ruby jested.
Emma sighed, unsure how to tell them what she had been thinking. She knew they would be helpful-well, they would be once Mary Margaret calmed down from the shock she would undoubtedly have and the horror Ruby would show.
"Emma, what's wrong?" Mary Margaret asked, reaching her hand across the table, grasping Emma's. Her hands were warm from hold the cup of coco that Emma had made for her friends.
"It's not that anything is wrong. It's more everything's so right I'm not sure what to do or what to say," she tried to explain.
"Just say it, Emma," Ruby almost screamed, all of them wanting Emma to just stop beating around the bush.
"I love him," Emma finally breathed.
She was right about her friend's reactions. Just like when she told him all about Killian a few weeks prior, Mary Margaret was overly excited, and probably already planning a wedding and nurseries in her head, while Ruby tried to look excited, but her indifference for her friend could be seen in her eyes.
"When did you know?" Mary Margaret questioned, trying to hide her excitement.
"I'm not really sure. It wasn't like I stopped one day and just knew. I just got to thinking about how different everything has been, how much better everything has been, and it's all because of him," she explained.
"So why do you look sick to your stomach, then?" Ruby asked.
She had filled Ruby in on the bet they had the week prior, knowing it wasn't fair for Mary Margaret to know and to leave her other friend out of the loop. Ruby understood it, but was more interested in their bedroom activities than the feelings that surrounded it in the first place.
"Because there was something about the bet that I didn't tell you all about," she whispered, looking down into her mug of cocoa.
"What is it?" Mary margaret asked.
"It's kinda a shitty thing," she continued to stare into her mug, her hand stirring
"What stupid thing did he do?" Ruby spat.
"It wasn't him," she said, still refusing to meet the eyes of her friend.
"Emma." Mary Margaret's mothering tone made Emma finally make eye contact, and she wasn't surprised to see no judgement in her eyes.
She knew no matter what, her friends would have her back.
"Well, when Killian first brought the whole thing up, I was completely blindsided and of course thought he was crazy; but I couldn't help but think about how maybe him being crazy could lead to something I've been dreaming about for a while," she started.
Mary Margaret must have caught on because the shock that crossed her face told Emma it was a shitty thing she had thought.
"It was fleeting; well, mostly. I mean, I still think about how marrying Killian would not only make me insanely happy, but give me something I've been dreaming of. How can you not think about having your cake and eating it too?" Her confession wasn't fully out there, but she was getting there, building up the confidence to say it aloud.
"Well, of course it's ok to think about, but it's another thing to act on it," Mary Margaret said.
"Wait, I'm not 100% sure what you are saying?" Ruby chimed.
"So, the agency keeps telling me it's very unlikely that I'm going to ever adopt Henry without a spouse to help. When Killian brought up marriage, it was like a switch went off. Killian was offering me something on a silver platter, so I thought, why not? I can marry him, and finally be able to adopt Henry."
The way she said it, was a stark reminder of the horrible thought she had. What type of person would think that, do that to someone? As she said the words in a bright voice - the first voice she had used - she heard the disgust in the thought.
"Is that really why you asked me, Swan?" A hurt voice came from behind her.
Killian stood in the doorway, a bouquet of flowers in his arms, her son standing next to him, mouth hanging open. The heartbreak in Killian's eyes killed her. She felt her heart disintegrate inside her chest.
"Killian, I can explain," she started, but before she could say anything, Killian disappeared from the doorway.
She rose from the table, tears now in her eyes. She pushed past Henry who had finally closed his mouth as was staring at her in anger. As she reached the hallway, she heard the screeching of tires.
His Jeep was tearing down the street as Emma stood in her doorway, tears streaming down her face. Her hands clenched on the doorframe.
"I love you," she whispered to the wind, praying the words would make it to Killian and bring him back to her.