Alright, guys here we are chapter three. I actually like this chapter. I hope you guys will follow and review if you like it as well.

For the first time, Sam was an outsider looking in on Dean's life. Right, when Sam entered the rundown motel room he realized the horrible condition his brother was accustomed to living in. It was like Sam was seeing their living conditions for the first time.

The place was small and trashed. Clothes and glass lay scattered and on the floor. The trash can was full so obviously, Dean had attempted to pick it up.

Sam stood in the little of the room speechless. He didn't know what to say, or what he was supposed to say. Sam was still in shock from Dean's appearance. He'd never seen his brother so worn...so broken...weak.

Dean sat on one of the beds staring up Sam.

"So Uh..." Sam began. "How long have you been at this motel?"

Obviously longer than usual.

"More than two weeks. I returned here after my hunter. Dad was supposed to meet up with me here after he finished his hunt in Tennessee but never showed."

Dean sighed.

"Did he call and tell you why?" Sam questioned. He wasn't concerned at the absence of his father it wasn't unlike him to just disappear without a word especially now that they were adults.

"He called once said he had something to do. Told me not to wait up. He just fucking ditched the dead weight for awhile I suppose." Dean casually shrugged like there was complete truth to his word.

"I've sorta just been waiting around. I booked the room for a month figured he'd be back by then and ready to carry the dead weight. He probably made me hunt separate jobs to get away from me."

Wow, Dean way to look pathetic.

"Woah, Dean it's alright don't talk like that. I'm sure he just had something he needed to do and didn't want you to be dragged into his business."

"Since when has it mattered if it was his business? He's never ditched me, Sammy. I've always gone with him regardless until recently." Dean grew frustrated. "You know it's like you leave me seven months ago and then dad is quick to follow seven months later. I don't want to be left on my own Sam!"

Sam sat on the bed next to Dean placing a hand on his shoulder. Dean shrugged him off. I shouldn't have let him come here. He shouldn't have to deal with me.

"Dean! No one is leaving you on your own. I never left you I left Dad. I'm here now regardless of why I left man." Getting through to Dean is going to take time. The time I don't have. I have to get back to school at some point.

"Oh, really Sam no one is leaving me? What happens in a day or two when you tear off back to school...back to your life? When your little visit is over huh!" Dean began to become furious with his brother.

"I-i don't know man..." Sam didn't know what to say. Dean was showing the same rage he had when Sam had left for Stanford.

Dean blew out a forced breath of air and ran his hand through his hair. It was at this moment Dean's sleeve rolled to just enough for Sam to see two very obvious self-harm scars.

"Fuck Dean!" Sam grabbed Dean by the wrist.

"What now Sam?" Dean said as he tried to pull his wrist free of Sam's grip. There really no point in Deans protest. Dean was weak and had lost muscle mass. Sam was as strong as ever, taller too.

Sam rolled up Deans sleeve higher. "Dean what the fuck is this man. You can't be doing this." Sam shook Deans wrist for emphasis before letting go of (throwing) his brothers arm.

"Woah there little brother. I don't know what you think happened but it wasn't me. I didn't make those." Don't lie, Dean, you'll only going to make it worse. Sammy won't forgive you.

"Dean," Sam whispered. "I can tell your lying man."

Dean jumped up and stumbled into one of the little motels dining chairs. "Fine Sammy! Yes, I cut my fucking wrist okay?" Dean admitted. "It only happened a couple fucking times." Dean walked over to his nightstand pulling at a bottle of anti-depressants. "After I'd realized how bad I'd gotten I went to the doctor Sam." He shook the bottle for emphasis.

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. "How long... Dean" This is my fault. I shouldn't have left the way I did. I did this I'm the reason Dean is so fucked up now.

Sam the first time I cut my wrist was before you even knew you were going to Standford. This wasn't because of you. I'll admit after you left things only got worse but Dad played a part in this too. He was such an ass after you left. He couldn't look at me without commenting on how it was my fault. I already knew what I had done he did-"

Sam cut Dean off. "I didn't leave because of you Dean. I left to get away from Dad. You know that I've told you so many times." Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes in frustration. Dean has to understand.

Dean, still standing by the motel table, began to pace making his way between the motel beds as he did before.

"I can't Sam. I can't talk about this with you." Dean yelled the last word. "It's too much. I can't make amends with you Sammy. I can't have things be good between us just so you can leave and think you've saved me from myself." Dean ran both hands through his light brown hair before he began to furiously pull at it.

Sam stared at his older brother in shock this was something he'd noticed himself doing multiple times in the short amount of time he'd been there with him. "Dean stop!" Sam was on his foot. Grabbing Dean's hands Sam began trying to unclasp his brother's fingers. "Let go on your fucking hair Dean!"

It had been a long time since Sam had seen Dean pull on his hair like that. The last time he'd seen him do that was after Dean was in an argument with John over Sam (of course). Sam was probably sixteen at the time watching his twenty years old brother ruthlessly pull his own hair out.

Dean relented very quickly letting his hair free from his own grasp. His knees then buckled and he let himself fall into the dirty floor.

It was only a few seconds before Sam followed Dean and sat in the floor beside him. Holding Dean around the middle of his torso. Dean breathing was ragged and forced.

"You'll get through this Dean. I promise I'm never going to leave you as I did before."

"Yeah, this time I'll be the leaving...permanently leaving." Dean barely whispered.

Anyone looking forward to chapter four?

Let me know if any of you are still interested.