In the last chapter, we saw Honey's POV about the day Dan told Hallie he was sick. This chapter is another one of her flashbacks, but it takes place a little bit after the last one. It's an answer to the "Questions" chapter called "Shouldn't he be afraid?"
"Bobby Belden! What did you do to my hairdryer?" Trixie Belden shrieked from the upstairs bathroom at Crabapple Farm.
Downstairs where everyone had been watching T.V. and snacking, her cousin Hallie Belden and best friend Honey Wheeler gave each other knowing glances and shook their heads. They knew Trixie was about to read her little brother the riot act.
In a panic, Bobby jumped up from his place beside his older brother Mart and moved closer to his mother.
"Moms, you said I could use Trixie's hairdryer to dry the paint on the pine box roadster I made for scouts!" the little boy wailed.
"Yes, dear. But, why do you think your sister is upset? I told you to put it back exactly as you found it. Did you do something to make Trixie think you'd broken her hair dryer?"
At his mother's question, the ten-year-old's face twisted with thought. His eyes widened when the light bulb came on in his head.
"I might have gotten a little bit of …um…paint… on it," the small blonde said thoughtfully.
"A little bit?" Trixie said sarcastically from the doorway of the family room. Honey couldn't help but snicker at the look of her friend standing there with her damp curls clinging in frizzy jags around her freckled cheeks. The teen had red and blue paint smeared on her hands and across her chin. Clearly, she was angry.
"I went upstairs to get clean, not get paint on me! Moms!"
"Alright, Trixie, it's not worth getting so upset over. Just go wash it off. He didn't mean to."
"I'm sorry, Trix." Bobby said quietly.
"Uuugghhh! Now, we're gonna be late meeting Di at the country club!" Trixie stomped up the stairs to finish getting ready.
Despite the immaturity of her friend's petulance, Honey had to laugh. The banter between the siblings almost made her wish she had a younger brother or sister. Almost.
She watched Helen Belden pat her youngest child gently on the back and then send him into the kitchen to get himself some more fruit punch from the refrigerator. As soon as the boy was out of earshot, the older woman turned to the others in the room.
"He's still very upset about Dan," Moms said quietly. "I know I shouldn't baby him, but he's sensitive right now."
Honey caught Mart and Hallie's faces out of the corner of her eye and realized that Bobby wasn't the only one having a hard time dealing with the recent news of Dan Mangan's illness.
"Maybe I should…uh…freshen up a bit, too…before we…go," Hallie stammered. She quickly left the room and padded up the stairs.
It was if the dark haired girl's departure had taken some of the air out of the room along with her, and Honey felt her chest tighten with thinning breath.
Oh Hallie. You don't have to be so tough all the time, the quiet girl thought to herself.
She watched Mart stiffen and cough to cover up the emotion rising in his own throat. He flashed everyone a look that told them to change the subject because Bobby was coming back into the room, and Honey wondered how Mart was really feeling about everything; he was rarely ever serious enough to tell.
"Moms, I didn't mean to make such a mess." Bobby confessed as soon as he returned. "I just wanted to finish my car for the pine wood derby. Nobody was around here to help me. Dad was at work, Brian's still away at school, and Mart went off with Di. Dan said he'd help me last week, but…" The boy stopped and bit his lip. "…he had to go to the doctor…again."
"Well, I'm back now." Mart forced out cheerfully. "I'm not going with the girls to the country club, so I can help you finish it." He hopped up and tousled his little brother's curls playfully, but Bobby pulled away annoyed.
"Stop it, Mart. I don't need your help, now. I finished it all by myself." Growing frustration was evident in the child's voice and posture.
"Hey, that's great. Can I see it?"
"Just leave me alone," Bobby said mournfully. He was losing confidence. "It…it didn't turn out the way I wanted. It's ugly. I…I don't think I'm gonna race in the derby this year."
With tears in his eyes, the boy put down his drink and ran past his brother to fly up the steps and away from the others.
"Just let him go, Martin," Helen said gently. "Like I said. He's very sensitive. He'll show it to you when he's ready."
"I didn't mean to ignore him, today…" Mart started.
"It's alright, dear. Think nothing of it." Trying to keep things light, Helen asked, "So, Honey, how's your mother's book club coming along?"
The change of subject was welcome at the moment, but Honey was still so disturbed at Bobby's emotional breakdown that she couldn't formulate a response right away.
"She…she…um…I think she's getting a pretty…um…positive response," Honey managed to say.
"Oh, that's nice. I know I have missed several sessions, but the last one I went to was incredibly educational. We were reading The Bridges of Madison County. I thought I understood it, until I heard your mother explain a few things." Mrs. Belden was moving about the room as she spoke, giving Mart and Honey a distraction from the wake of the previous moment. "You know, I think she missed her calling. I could easily see Maddie Wheeler teaching literature at a university. She's very good at making the book come to life. I'm just going to have to make some time to be at her next meeting."
Honey wasn't sure what to say, so she simply nodded her head in agreement.
Abruptly stopping his current pacing, Mart gave Honey and his mother a determined look.
"I think I should see about Bobby," he stated. His rapid exit left Honey wondering if she should check on the progress of her friends, too.
"Mmmm. And I think I'll just go see what's keeping Trix and Hallie," she murmered quietly and headed for the steps on Mart's heels. She knew Mrs. Belden wouldn't take offence at suddenly being left alone.
As she mounted each rise of the staircase, Honey's mind began to reel with a million thoughts. She wondered if Trixie's recent agitation at every turn was simply her way of dealing with the unknown. Like Mart's jokes and Bobby's sensitivity. She knew Trixie was just as scared for Dan as the rest of them were; perhaps, her groaning about constant frustrations were just her own way of handling it. Truly, Trixie was a problem solver, and this was one problem the super sleuth simply couldn't solve. Honey guessed that fact was probably eating her friend up inside.
Then, Honey began to think that maybe Hallie's stiff chin routine was just a cover up, too. Maybe, underneath the stony attitude, she was really crying on the inside.
She's certainly not going to let herself cry on the outside,Honey thought sadly.
She had seen Hallie in some pretty emotional situations, but she had never seen the girl cry. The thought made Honey fear how deep the hurt would be if Trixie's cousin finally reached the breaking point and let years worth of pent up tears come out. She silently prayed she wouldn't have to be there if it ever happened.
When she reached the threshold to Trixie's room, Honey could hear the soft sounds of Hallie's guitar floating out of the open doorway. It made her stop and lean against the doorjamb to view the scene from a distance. The dark skinned girl from Idaho sat cross-legged on the bed, strumming the instrument gently, while her cousin stood across the room, gazing disappointedly into a full-length mirror and frantically scrunching mousse into her wet, blonde curls.
"Di is going to be really mad at us if we show up late to have dinner with her family at the club," Trixie was saying through gritted teeth. "Uuuuggghhhh! My hair won't stop frizzing!"
"Oh, Trixie, relax." Hallie soothed.
"You look fine, Trix." Honey offered from the doorway.
"There you are!" Trixie crossed the room and grabbed Honey by the hand to pull her inside. "Which blouse looks better, the one I have on…or this one?" As if she were about to make the most important decision in her life, the freckled faced teen held up a red top to contrast against the blue one she was already wearing and gave her friend a helpless look.
Honey felt herself fighting the urge to giggle.
"Trixie, they both look great on you. Really. Of course, the blue plays up your eyes, and the red really flatters your figure…honestly…you should wear the one you like best."
"And Jim's not gonna be there, so what does it matter?" Hallie interjected.
Honey held her breath and silently prayed for Trixie to ignore that invitation for another standoff with Hallie. Oh, let's don't start this now! You guys have gotten along all day without a single fight!
"Well, I guess you're right." Trixie settled. She quickly returned the red top to the closet and surprised Honey by not even responding to her cousin's comment. Instead, she flopped down beside the taller girl and gave her an appreciative look. "That was a pretty song you were playing. What's it called?"
"I know you've heard it. They play it on the radio all the time. It's called 'Love is the Answer.' I play it a little bit slower than it's supposed to be, I guess. I'm still learning it."
Honey's mind wandered to some of the lyrics that she knew went with the tune Hallie had referred to, and the significance of the words she heard in her head made her stomach begin to churn. It seemed to match what she knew Dan felt about life and death and the whole concept of Heaven. It talked about death and coming to grips with it as an inevitable part of life. Honey suddenly felt as if she were falling down. This was not a song any of them should be thinking about right now.
As if she could read her friend's thoughts, Trixie suddenly voiced what Honey was thinking.
"Wow…um…Hallie…maybe that's not the best song for you to…um…learn right now…you know?"
The girl everyone thought of as the Indian Princess suddenly grew more somber than ever. Her dark eyes looked hard and haunted.
"It's the perfect song." She said cryptically. She turned her head from one girl to the other to give them each a long look in the eyes, and it made Honey feel cold at heart. "If you think Dan's afraid of death," she said quietly, "then you don't know him very well."
She stood and put the guitar on top of her travel tote, and then she moved back toward her cousin and friend who were now both seated on the bed.
"I know I once told you I was afraid of standing on the mountaintop and having no one hear me." Hallie continued, looking at Trixie only this time. "But, Dan came along and stood beside me, and he took that fear away. That's what love does to you. It makes you brave." She looked down at her hands and seemed to be forcing herself to keep speaking. "You know, I almost lost him right when I found him, but I sort of made a deal that bought us some time. Look, I don't want to talk about that…and I hope Dan never finds out about it, actually, but…just know that I'm not stupid about what might happen to him. And, I've never forgotten that he's already been living on borrowed time." She looked at Trixie with a strangely hollow stare. "Luke was going to kill him. And…I did what I had to do…and I bargained with God, too. I begged Him to spare Dan and he did. I can't complain; I won't complain, if He sees fit to collect on my promise."
Honey felt her mouth go dry. She was not only disturbed about what Hallie might have meant in relation to striking a deal with Luke, but if discussing her "bargain with God" made her react even more nervously, then it couldn't possibly be any better.
"And what was your promise?" She asked cautiously.
"That if God would spare him, I…wouldn't even ask to be his girlfriend. Even though I was already falling pretty hard for him, I'd walk away."
Trixie gave her cousin a playful shove and let out a sigh as if she had been holding her breath for years.
"Is that all? Good grief, you were being so dramatic, I thought you were going to say something crazy. You are already his girl, Hallie. Looks like God's okay with that."
But, Honey knew what Hallie meant, and it made her heart break for the girl. She knew Hallie was scared that her borrowed time with Dan was almost up.
Then, another thought struck Honey.
Maybe Dan did know what Hallie had done to save his life. She recalled the strange way he didn't move to touch her when he'd stepped in her path after he'd told her about the cancer. The way he always let her make the first move whenever they hugged. It was an unspoken understanding of a personal darkness that suddenly seemed so obvious. Honey had a new appreciation for Hallie's unbreakable strength. She met the girl's blackberry eyes and gave her a sympathetic half-smile.
Hallie returned the look gratefully.
Then, she turned back to her cousin and continued speaking with her original intensity.
"And, honestly, if you think I'm afraid of being all alone on that mountain again," Hallie said with determination, "then, you don't know me very well, either."
"O..kay." Trixie drawled. It almost seemed as if she was mocking Hallie's way of speaking, but clearly it showed just how much of her cousin's confessions had just gone completely over her head. "So, then, what are you afraid of? If it's not losing Dan."
For the rest of her life, Honey would remember the way Hallie seemed to tremble when she answered the question. The way the girl forced the words from her lips as if she wanted them as far away from her body as she could possibly get them. Hallie swallowed hard and clenched the hem of her shirt as she spoke.
"I'm scared that when all of this is said and done, I'll look over at the person standing beside me on that mountain…and it won't be Dan."
Confessions, confessions! Stick around, and you'll hear more of them! Hope you are enjoying!