Chapter Nineteen: Please Don't Say You Love Me
"Oh."
Whatever Jack was expecting, that wasn't it.
"Thank you for telling me," Harry said, his voice steady and undeterred. He didn't sound as if what he'd just been told bothered him. Because it did. It skewed everything he thought he knew about his relationships both with Jack and with Hermione. It was strange and odd, which were both feelings Harry didn't particularly like.
Jack just watched in silence as Harry nodded his head once, stood up and then disappeared out of the Common Room. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be feeling in that moment but, whatever it was, it was potent. There was a substantial amount of relief, yes, but also a lot of something else. He felt lighter somehow, as if a deep, dark secret of his was now gone, and he didn't feel as burdened. He was convinced he did the right thing, for all of them.
But.
Harry'd looked surprised, yes, but there was something else; something Jack couldn't quite figure out. It was unsettling and, yes, he was worried that he'd ruined any chance of a meaningful relationship with his brother.
His brother.
Jack was still sitting on the couch when Harry returned after what felt like five seconds but was probably exponentially longer. The Common Room was no longer empty of students, and any exchange between the two Potters would be talked about for days to come. Which was probably the reason why Harry just continued walking towards the stairs and up to the boys' shared dormitory.
Jack followed.
Harry looked as lost as he had when he'd left and Jack's own resolve faltered. They both stood, Harry near his bed and Jack stranded in the middle of the room as the truth of Jack's confession hung over them.
"Harry," Jack eventually said, hating the silence.
The boy put out a hand to quiet the older Potter. "I don't get it," he said, frowning. "Why?"
Jack matched his frown. "Why?"
"Why did you do it?"
"Why did I do what?"
"Why did you kiss her?" he asked, clearly confused. "Do you like her? Do you still like her? Is that it?" He stepped towards Jack. "I mean, why did you even tell me? What did you expect to happen? Did you want us to break up? Because that's not going to happen, Jack. It won't."
"I never - "
"You never what?" Harry asked, cutting him off. "Tell me, do you still like her?" he asked.
Jack just stared at him.
"Because I love her," he said a beat later. "I love her, and there's nothing you can say or do to change that, do you hear me? You tried once before and it almost worked. I almost missed out on the wonder that is Hermione Granger, but it's not going to happen this time. I won't let it."
"Harry - "
"No!" he snapped. "I don't - why would - "
Jack looked pained.
"I thought we were doing better," he finally said, sounding defeated. "I don't believe you did this without knowing it would hurt me."
"We are - we were doing better," Jack rushed. "I want us to do better. I want us to be friends, Harry, but there was no way we could have done that the proper way with this hanging over us."
Harry let out a cackle of laughter that made Jack take a step back. "Over us?" he asked incredulously. "It was hanging over you, and you just couldn't deal with it, could you? We could have gone our entire lives without this ever coming up."
"You don't honestly believe that, do you?"
Harry just glared at him.
"Would you rather I not have told you?"
"I'd rather you not have kissed my girlfriend, but here we are."
They stared at each other for the longest time, eyes narrow and breathing heavy. Surprisingly, it was Harry who gave in first, visibly deflating. He was disappointed in himself for allowing himself to believe that he could really ever be over it. Everything now couldn't ever erase everything before. He was so stupid. So stupid.
"Harry," Jack said, his voice low.
Harry stood up straight, steeling himself. He didn't want this; he didn't want any part of this. "I'm done," he said, his voice still and steady. "We're not brothers, Jack. We're not even friends."
Jack felt like he'd been knocked hard in the chest, the sound of Harry's words winding him. "Oh."
Harry opened his mouth to say something more but thought better of it. Oh was right. Without a word more - enough had been said anyway - he turned on his heel, away from Jack, signalling the end of this unwanted conversation, and all Jack could do was just watch him.
No. This couldn't be it.
"Harry," he croaked.
The younger Potter turned back, his eyes burning. There was anger, hurt, confusion. Determination.
"I'm sorry," Jack said. "For now, and for before. I just, I needed you to know, before - " he stopped suddenly. "Look, I know it means nothing now, but I never wanted to hurt you."
Harry grit his teeth. "It doesn't matter what you wanted, Jack," he said slowly; "because it hurts all the same." And then he did turn away - for good, this time - and sat down on the edge of his bed, leaving Jack to wonder how he'd managed to mess this all up so royally. Hermione'd warned him; she'd told him this wasn't a good idea.
Oh shit.
Hermione.
Contemplating whether it was a good idea to leave Harry, Jack jerked into action a moment later and took off towards the library. He needed to tell her before Harry got the chance to. He had to prepare her; warn her the way she'd tried to. Even as he ran, he couldn't help finding it comforting that he would be able to find her in the library when he went looking. At least that hadn't changed.
Once he was in the library, he had to search for her. He had to go deep into the library - deeper than he'd ever gone when not trying to get into the Restricted Section - until he spotted her. She looked so serious, her brow furrowed in concentration as she studied the text in front of her. He was hit by the sudden feeling that he missed her. Desperately.
No. He was here for a reason. A horrible reason.
"Hey," Jack said, getting Hermione's attention.
Hermione startled at the sound of his voice and looked up in surprise. And, just from the look on his face, she immediately tensed. "What did you do?" she asked, standing up in one swift movement as if someone had electrocuted her. "Jack," she pressed. "What did you do?"
Jack shook his head. "You should talk to Harry," he said. "I - " he stopped. "I had to tell him, Hermione. I had to."
Hermione blinked, sure that she didn't hear what she just did. "But - "
"I'm sorry," he said.
That sparked her anger, no twitching lip as a warning. "You're sorry? Do you even know what you've done?"
All Jack could do was stare at her.
"I don't - I don't understand."
Jack said nothing, which seemed to ignite a fire within Hermione.
"You think you're so high and mighty that you did this thing for Harry, but you really did this for yourself," she said, her voice rising. "I mean, who do you think you are? You've known him five seconds and you suddenly think that you owe him the truth."
"Somebody did," he countered, his own voice rising.
"Are you so misguided that you thought that that person had to be you?" she snapped. "Seriously?" She looked at him in disbelief, forcing down her impending panic. "I was going to tell him. Me. Not you, Jack. Not you."
Harry knew. Shit, Harry knew.
"This thing you've done - whatever your intentions... dammit, Jack, it should never have come from you. How could you not see that?"
Jack didn't know what to say.
"Look in the mirror, Jack," she said, frowning so heavily that she was almost unrecognisable. "Do you know who you'll see, Jack? Do you? You'll see James Potter." She didn't say it to be hurtful - she was merely telling the truth, even though she knew it would wound him. He and Harry shared that fear. Maybe this comparison would set Jack straight. Maybe it would help him break free from the man that was so entrained in him; he didn't even know who he was. "Call it what you want, but this had nothing to do with Harry, and everything to do with you."
With that, Hermione started to pack up her things. Her hands were shaking from her anger and fear. What if - what if Harry left? No. He wouldn't. Right? She had to be sure. She needed to talk to him now. She needed to explain.
Hermione ignored Jack with all her might, trying and failing not to feel sorry for the boy who just shot himself in the foot and had it ricochet towards her.
This was her attempt to dodge it.
"Where is he?" she asked Jack.
"In his room."
And then she was gone, a girl on a mission. Until that day, very few people had ever seen Hermione Granger run, but she ran for her life on this day. The girl was surprisingly fast. She had to force the Fat Lady to hurry when she arrived at the Gryffindor Tower. Goodness only knew what Harry's own thoughts were telling him while she waited for the Portrait to open.
A moment later, she was rushing inside, dumping her bag on a random couch and taking the steps two at a time up to the boys' sixth-year dormitory to find Harry Potter in the position Jack left him, just staring into space.
Forcing herself to catch her breath, Hermione approached him slowly. "Harry?" she whispered, wary of interrupting whatever he was thinking. "Harry?"
Quietly, and almost mechanically, he stood up and turned to face her. The question that came out of his mouth was surprising but also not. It wasn't the phrasing she would have used, but it cut straight to the chase. "Why did it happen, Granger?"
"What?"
He looked at her with a steady gaze. "Tell me why."
She didn't know what to say to him. All she could do was stand there and think about all the ways she was going to murder Jack Potter when she next laid eyes on him. It was worse than she thought. Harry looked shaken.
"Was it out of revenge?" he asked. "Did it happen because you wanted to hurt me back? Was that it?" He stepped back. "Because it hurts, Granger. All of this, it bloody hurts." He took another step back, running a rough hand through his hair as a result of whatever emotion he was currently feeling. Then: "Why didn't you tell me?"
She waited a beat before she finally spoke, saying words that she didn't initially think she would. They just came out of her mouth and she couldn't even stop them. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He blinked in surprise. Wait. "So we're back to this," he said in disbelief. "Are you seriously turning this back on me right now? Right now?"
She just looked at him, keeping her mouth shut, in case something else she was bound to regret came out.
He huffed in annoyance. "Would you even have believed me? Between me and Ginny - would you have believed me?"
"I would have," she said in response, her voice rising of its own accord. It seemed that she was just going to be yelling at both Potter boys today, and she wasn't even sure if either one deserved it. "Of course I would have, if you'd only bothered to tell me."
His frowned. "Why?"
"Because you promised me!" she practically snapped. "You promised, all those nights ago, that you would tell me no lies, and I believed you. I believed you, Harry, and then - "
"And then what?" he shot back. "I lied? Merlin Almighty, Hermione, I asked you, and you told me not to tell you, or have you just conveniently forgotten that?"
They both knew she hadn't.
"I just want to know why," he pressed.
"Why?"
"Why," he repeated. "Why did you hold onto it? Why didn't you just tell me?"
"What would it have done, Harry?" she asked tiredly. "It was just a moment. I was in hysterics after I found out about you and Ginny, and Jack was trying to calm me down. He kissed me as some kind of misguided comfort, I guess. I froze in the moment, and I've done everything in my power to forget it ever happened. Is that what you want to know? Is it?"
Harry waited a beat, merely digesting. "I want to know why you let Jack be the one to tell me."
"Because I couldn't!"
He blinked. "What?"
She took a breath. "I couldn't," she said. "I've been trying. I've been replaying what I wanted to say over and over in my head but, every time I try, nothing comes out. I just, I didn't know how." Not yet, at least. She was working on it. "I didn't want this to happen."
"I would have believed you," he said after a moment, even though he was sure that wasn't what stopped her.
"And I would have believed you too."
He sighed, absently running another hand through his hair. This was all so messed up.
Hermione echoed his sigh. "I'm sorry," she said. "I am so sorry, Harry." Then: "How mad are you?" she asked. "Are you mad enough to..." she trailed off.
"To what?"
"To leave me?"
Despite the situation, Harry had to laugh, his head shaking. He couldn't help it, really. "Crazy girl," he said, stepping towards her. "Don't you know that I'm desperately in love with you?"
Hermione just stared at him, suddenly dumbfounded. What?
"I'm also sorry," he said. "I haven't handled this well at all. I just - I got caught up in the idea that you kissed him to hurt me but you didn't even actually kiss him, did you?"
All she could really do was shake her head.
"It was a moment," he said, echoing both their words. They'd both had moments with other people; both of whom were once best friends to Hermione Granger. "I think I just - I got confused."
She frowned.
Well, he wasn't the only one who was confused.
"Jack didn't tell me what he did to hurt me," he said, sounding confused. "He did it because he genuinely wanted me to know. He said he wanted a clear conscience before we - " he shook his head. "He actually wants to be my friend, Granger."
Hermione's mouth was painfully dry and she didn't think she could bring herself to speak even if she tried.
Harry seemed unaware of the current short-circuiting going on in her brain. "I've spent years thinking about it, wishing for it, dreaming about it and I - " he stopped. "I like to think that I'm over all of it; that I've somehow managed to work through all the shit he's put me through over the years, but I've just been reminded that maybe I'm not." He shook his head, trying to get himself back on track. This whole mess just put everything in perspective and now he was seeing clearer than ever. "I'm not sure about Jack at all but I've never been as close to sure of anything as I am about you." He took another step towards her. "That hasn't changed. It will never change."
"Harry," she whispered, trying to hold onto the moment of before. She could feel something coming and she needed him to slow down. She needed him to stop talking.
Harry reasoned that this was the time. He didn't see a way to go back now.
"I see you, Hermione Granger," he said carefully. "Every day, I see all that you are and all that you're not."
Hermione couldn't bring herself to look at him anymore. He was saying things she wasn't ready to hear. This wasn't what she wanted. She'd come here to apologise; to hear him say that what Jack told him changed nothing. That was all.
She'd prided herself on being entirely independent, remaining hidden behind her carefully constructed mask. She really didn't need Harry Potter saying all these things to her. Not now. Now after everything.
"I see you," he repeated, his emerald eyes holding her hazel brown ones captive. "I see who you are, and I - "
"Stop," she cried, cutting him off. "Harry, please. Just stop."
He ignored her, stepping forward. "Hermione, I love you."
She just stared at him, unable to process his words. And he'd used her first name. Just what was this boy trying to do to her?
"I love you," he said again, making sure that she knew it wasn't some mistake on his part. He meant to say the words, and he meant every syllable and nuance of them. "Do you hear me? I love you, Hermione Granger. I am so very in love with you."
Hermione was too stunned to respond at first but she quickly gathered her thoughts and stepped away from him. "No, no, no, you don't get to say that to me, Harry. Are you insane? You can't love me. No."
Harry, though a bit baffled, found himself slightly amused.
"This is not funny," she huffed, noticing the barely evident upturn of the edges of his mouth. "This is so far from funny, Harry Potter."
"Why?" he asked. "Seriously, Granger, what are you so afraid of?"
"I, uh, I," she stuttered. Her mind immediately flew to Ginny, but she clamped it down. She was being ridiculous. This was different. Wasn't it? He was telling her he loved her. He loved her, and he wasn't going anywhere. She constantly had to remind herself that he was hers; that he'd never actually cheated on her. He wasn't going anywhere. She could rely on him; she could need him.
"Just talk to me," he said gently.
"I can't say it back," she finally said. It would give him too much power. "I'm sorry."
"That's okay," he whispered.
"It is?" she asked in surprise.
He gave her a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Granger," he said soothingly. "You don't have to say it back now. I'll wait forever if I have to. I will never leave. I love you and I am staying exactly where I am. I just wanted you to know."
She let out a shaky breath in disbelief. This entire conversation felt like an out-of-body experience. "You're not mad about that?" How was he not mad about any of it? Why wasn't he still angry; still shouting?
He smiled at her, cupping her cheeks with his hands. "Of course I'm not mad about that, Granger. How could I be mad?"
"I don't know," she said, dropping her gaze. "I've never, umm, actually said it to anyone and really meant it before."
"Neither have I," he admitted.
"Not even to your mother?"
He balked at that. "I tell her I love her all the time," he said, frowning. "Are you telling me that you don't tell your parents that you love them?"
"I think I would be lying," she admitted. "I don't know them well enough to have accurate feelings for them."
"What about Ginny?"
She swallowed, not liking the way that she reacted to the fact that he brought up the redhead. It was so irrational. It was just a name, for Merlin's sake. "She was always my best friend, I knew that, and I would've done anything for her. I loved her, I did, but I never said it."
"Why not?"
"Because sometimes I didn't really like her," she said softly. "Does that make sense?"
Harry nodded. "It does, yeah." Oh, it made a lot of sense to him.
"It does?"
"I don't know why you always sound so surprised whenever I understand you," he said. "I told you that I see you, Hermione, and I love you."
She swallowed thickly, another wave of guilt threatening. "Are you going to keep saying it?"
He took a deep breath. "Does it make you uncomfortable? I just want to say it enough that you actually start to believe me because I have a feeling that I'm going to have work hard at it." He risked a smile. "I can stop if you want me to."
"Don't," she said quickly. "I mean, I really like hearing you say it, but I don't want you to hurt every time I don't say it back."
A beat later, he was kissing her hard, injecting all the love he possibly could into the kiss. It was a demanding kiss, and deeply overwhelming, as if he was trying to emphasise his words with his actions.
When he pulled away, Hermione was just staring at him, her head spinning. "Then I'm going to tell you I love you every day," he said, looking right into her eyes. "I don't care when you say it. As long as you're in this with me, I'm willing to wait."
She kissed him this time, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth and getting a satisfied moan out of him. "You're too good for me."
"Nonsense."
She giggled. "I'll just kiss you every time you say it, is that okay? Until I'm ready."
"I'm definitely not complaining."
They kissed again and Harry couldn't really remember a time when Hermione Granger wasn't in his life. He was even loathed to think of a time when he didn't love her. What kind of life had he lived without her? How could he have gone his entire life without feeling this?
When Hermione pulled away, she looked him right in the eye. "You're insane."
"That may be so," he conceded; "but you're still kissing me, aren't you?"
She nibbled at her bottom lip for a moment, coming to a decision. "Well, that's only because I won't be able to over Christmas Break."
He frowned, his right hand sliding around her back and pulling her closer to him. "What are you trying to tell me right now?"
She dropped her gaze. "So, I've decided to stay here over Christmas Break."
He blinked in surprise. "You have?" he asked. "Why?"
"Well, there's the Slug Club Party," she said; "and I have a ton of work to do as well."
He frowned. "Granger?"
"I really don't want to leave the Castle," she said, almost as a whisper. "And there's really nowhere else for me to go."
"I told you to come home with me," he said, his voice steady and serious. She had to know that she would always have a place with him. It was a given by this point. "I want you to come home with me."
She shook her head. "I can't," she said. "I mean, we just got back together, and it's your first Christmas with your mum and Sirius together, and I - "
He quieted her by placing a finger over her lips. "Are you struggling with the feeling that you would be intruding?"
Hermione seemed to consider it. She knew that lying to him was not the option right now - not after Jack and that stupid kiss - but the truth wasn't an option either. Not right now, at least. "Sort of," she said.
"And you'd really rather stay here?" he asked; "because I wouldn't want you to do anything you don't want to."
She slipped her arms around his neck, needing him close. "I want to stay here, Harry," she said.
He blinked, trying not to feel hurt. "Then you shall."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Don't be."
"No, I'm not sorry about that," she clarified. "I'm sorry that I won't get to kiss you."
"It is a travesty, isn't it?"
She laughed out loud, and he swore it was the sound to end all wars. Really, if he could bottle the sound and pass it out to Death Eaters; he was sure that he could bring them towards the Light without a fight.
"What?" she asked, noticing the slight shift in his features.
"Nothing," he said softly, tightening his hold on her. "I just - I just really love you, Hermione."
The words wouldn't leave her mouth, so Hermione just kissed him.
It seemed to be enough for now.
The next few days were both long and short and Hermione was at a loss as to how that could be. Still, she didn't complain, because Harry gave her all his attention. It wasn't even that he tried to split his time between her, and Luna and Neville and she reasoned that he was spending so much time with her because of the impending Christmas Break.
Hermione noticed that he pulled back from Jack, though she made sure not to ask him about it. He went about his days as usual, dedicating his time and energy to his studies, his friends and Quidditch. To the Gryffindor team, it was clear to see that the growing camaraderie between their two captains was gone and nobody truly knew the reason why.
Jack didn't push it, and Harry didn't try.
At least their next match was in February. The team hoped that the Potters would be able to get it together by then. It was just under three months away, which was a long time for them to make up or do whatever it was that they needed to do, in order for the awkwardness to dissipate.
Besides that, Harry seemed to be handling it all well.
Until he just wasn't.
It happened during a session of their full team training. Really, it came out of nowhere and Hermione wasn't sure what to make of it.
Jack was in the middle of leading a demonstration on the Shield Spell, trying to get everyone up to speed, and Zabini was complaining endlessly. Of course he was. He just kept going, even as Jack tried to help them with their form when they finally started to practice.
Hermione tried to keep Zabini on track, but he wasn't listening, he was unrelenting. All he was doing was complaining, and it took Harry very little time to lose his patience.
"Will you just shut up?" Harry shouted, clearly snapping. "Jack is trying to teach you how to do it, but you're not even trying to listen."
Zabini glared at him. "And why should I listen to him?"
Harry turned to face him fully, his eyes burning with something Hermione recognised as protectiveness and Jack could see anger of the basest kind. Like, he'd really snapped and this was the last straw.
"Why should you listen to him?" Harry seethed. "Tell me, Zabini, have you ever come face-to-face with Voldemort?" Several students cowered at the sound of the name but Harry ignored them. In fact, it only served to irritate him more and he stared at each one in turn. "Have you?" he pressed. "Do you know what it feels like to have Voldemort point his wand at you and try to kill you? Have you ever been under the Cruciatus, huh? Have you ever fought off Dementors and survived it? Fought off Death Eaters?" He stared hard, particularly at Zabini. "I didn't think so."
His outburst was met with silence.
Harry shook his head. "So, you know, just listen to him," he added. "He's useless at a lot of things, but he's the only one who got an Outstanding in DADA last year and he knows how to survive. So, just, damn well, listen."
More silence.
Then: "Except for you."
Harry's head whipped around to look at the person who spoke. Fay Dunbar was looking at him with curious, all-seeing eyes and he suddenly felt exposed. "Excuse me?"
She cleared her throat. "Except for you," she repeated. "Jack isn't the only one who got an Outstanding for DADA. You did too."
Harry swallowed audibly, shaking his head in irritation. "The point I'm trying to make is that Jack knows what he's doing," he said tensely. "We'd all do well to listen to him." And that was all he would say as he moved back into position to practice his Shield Spell. It was borderline unnecessary given his own expertise, but Sirius asked him not to give too much away and he was going to listen.
There had to be a reason.
Jack studied Harry for the longest time, before he cleared his own throat and started them working again.
Hermione glanced at Jack for a moment, before she moved towards Harry. He looked tense, his muscles taut and his frown heavy. "Harry?" she whispered, trying and failing to get his attention. "Harry?" she tried again.
He dropped his wand arm, hitting it hard against his side. "Yes, dear," he said.
She rolled her eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I'm perfect," he said, not looking at her. "Why do you ask?"
She moved to stand closer to him, gently placing her hand over his, hoping to ease his grip on his wand. It worked, and he released his wand enough for her to take it from him. Not that she really knew what she was supposed to do with it. With her free hand, she reached out to touch his cheek, turning his head to look at her. "Tell me what's wrong," she said, her voice soft and soothing.
"What makes you think something's wrong?" he asked, turning his body to face her. "I'm fine."
"Now you sound like me," she commented.
Harry shook his head, a slight smile on his face. "We're meant to be, Granger."
Hermione didn't doubt that for a second, though she wouldn't be able to tell him. "Did something happen?" she braved asking.
"To?"
"You."
"When?"
"Today, yesterday, I don't know," she said. "What has you all riled up?"
"I'm not riled up."
"Then what are you?" she asked. "Because the way you snapped at Zabini was - "
"Uncalled for?"
"No, it was definitely called for," she said; "just, you know, unexpected."
He raise his eyebrows. "I'm sorry?"
She smiled easily at him. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"About what?"
"The reason you're so riled up."
"No," he said. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay."
He swallowed audibly. "Now, please can I have my wand back?"
She sighed heavily, but she did hand his wand back to him, easily slipping it into his hand. She was tempted to ask him if it was her; if it was the fact that she couldn't say those three words to him was the reason he was so tense. But she didn't. Maybe she wasn't ready for what his answer could be.
As soon as she made the move to walk away from him, he reached out and closed his fingers around her wrist.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just - I'm mad at him."
She didn't have to ask about whom he was talking. "You're allowed to be," she assured him.
"I'm also still a little mad at you," he confessed.
From those words, she knew it had nothing to do with the three words she wouldn't say; it was to do with the fact that Jack was the one who told him about the kiss. "That's also perfectly normal," she said.
"I don't like feeling like this," he told her. "I don't like it at all."
She stepped closer to him. "Do you want to duck out of here?" she asked. "I mean, we both know the Shield Spell pretty well, and I find that I'm craving a Sugar Quill. I know you have a stash somewhere."
He let out a light laugh. "I actually don't," he said. "We'll have to buy more when we go to Hogsmeade."
"My my, are you asking me to Hogsmeade?"
He smiled widely at her, relaxing slightly. "If I was?"
Before she could reply, Zabini interrupted them. "So, while I work my butt off here, why does the other Potter get to make googly eyes at the mudblood?"
Harry grit his teeth for a moment before he raised his wand, opened his mouth and muttered, "Expelliarmus."
Zabini's wand flew out of the Slytherin's hand, and Harry caught it easily, his facial expression passive.
"That's why," he said, dropping the wand at his own feet. "You should probably work on your Shield, Zabini. It's practically non-existent."
A beat later, Zabini was lunging at Harry, only to be stopped by Hermione, who was a force to be reckoned with in her own right.
"That's enough!" she hissed. "Both of you." She shot Harry a significant and disappointed look, and he ducked his head in shame. "I think maybe that's enough for today," she said, breathing out. "We all just need to take the evening, cool down, and then we'll meet again tomorrow."
Without awaiting further prompting, Harry left, leaving Hermione to see out the rest of her captain duties. He needed to get out of that room; he just needed to get away.
Hermione felt her heart twist as she watched him go, knowing that whatever was going on inside of him was partly her fault. Okay, probably all her fault. And Jack's.
Though, at least he was still talking to her.
"Tomorrow at seven o'clock," she said as everyone started to shuffle out of the room, most of them bidding her goodbye. She felt more and more drained with every fake smile she plastered on and every wave of her hand. This entire day was both eye-opening and heartbreaking.
When it was just her and Jack left, her apathy was quickly replaced by a strange sort of anger. Jack stayed behind for a reason and Hermione had zero patience for whatever he felt he had to say to her.
"What?" she snapped when he kept his eyes on her for an extended amount of time.
He flinched. "Is he - did I - "
"Save it," she said, shaking her head. "I can't be here to help you through this when my boyfriend needs - " she stopped, her voice catching. That was it, wasn't it? Harry Potter needed her this time, so what was she still doing here? Silently, she moved towards Jack, her eyes narrow and two words sitting on the tip of her tongue. "Fix this," she said, and then she was going.
She did have a boyfriend to see and something to make up for. It was too good to be true, wasn't it? Just to have him forgive her silence and cloud his anger with the new-found feelings he seemed to have for her. He'd just left it locked up inside and now it was manifesting in dangerous ways. He knew better than to incite the Slytherins.
The Common Room was quiet when Hermione arrived at Gryffindor Tower, but she did find Dean and Seamus playing Exploding Snap on the carpet in front of the fire. One would think Dean would've seen enough fireworks for one night, but hey. To each his own.
The boy in question looked up at her. "Looking for Harry?"
She nodded.
"Upstairs."
She smiled fondly at him. He really was growing on her. "Thanks," she mumbled, and then she was going again. She suddenly felt exhausted and quite hurt that he'd just left her there. But, then again, she knew Harry was a brooder. She signed up for all if it, the good, the bad, the big and all the small things.
She found him in his dormitory, sitting on his bed with his back against his pillows and his feet up. He looked so much like a little boy, absently twirling a sugar quill between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand.
He looked up when he heard her approach, his eyes locking on her. "Hey," he said softly, hoarsely. He sat up, crossing his legs in front of him. "I, uh, I found you a Sugar Quill," he said nervously.
She moved towards him. "From where exactly?"
"Dean," he admitted. "It's a peace offering."
"And why on earth would I need a peace offering, Harry? You're not fighting with me, are you?"
"No," he said; "but I still feel as if I should apologise for something."
Hermione climbed onto his bed and moved to kneel in front of him, her hands closing around his holding the Sugar Quill. "I don't want an apology, Harry," she said softly. "I just want you to talk to me."
He dropped his gaze. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered.
She frowned. "Why would you lose me?"
"I'm trying to be good," he said. "I'm trying to be what you need."
"What?"
"I don't want you to wake up one day and take it back."
"Take what back?"
"Take back that you want to be with me."
She let out a breath. "But, Harry, I told you I'm in this," she said. "I want this. I want you. All of you." She moved her right hand to his hair, stringing her fingers through his thick strands. "Believe me, I'm under no illusions that you're perfect, even though I know you try to be. It's almost a relief to know that you're a normal, hot-blooded, teenage boy."
"I'm trying," he admitted, risking a smile. Then: "I love you."
She wasted no time in leaning forward and kissing him, essentially silencing him. She pushed him backwards, forcing his legs to straighten, and climbed onto him, straddling his waist. Her hands felt like they were everywhere, burning his skin and turning him to putty.
"Granger," he breathed after a full minute, pushing on her shoulders so he could look at her.
"Hmm," she sounded, looking a bit dazed.
"Hold on," he murmured, forcing himself to sit up. "The curtains," he said, his voice hoarse. "Someone could see."
Hermione nodded once, leaned back, took out her wand and dropped the curtains, locking them in place. She contemplated casting a Silencing Charm and eventually decided on it, given the sounds they were both known to make when hands started to stray.
Harry settled back down and looked up at her in wonder. If he could freeze this very moment forever, he would.
"What?" she asked, flushing under his scrutiny.
"Nothing," he said, threading his fingers behind the back of his head and keeping his eyes on her. He didn't dare look away. "You're just really beautiful, that's all."
That didn't help with her blush. "Harry," she breathed, her hands spreading across his chest.
"Hmm."
"Hmm, indeed."
She let out a breathy laugh before she leaned forward again and proceeded to kiss him for all he was worth, definitely relieved that the Silencing Charm was already in place.
"Only one box?"
Harry glanced at her, a slight smirk on his face. "How many do you want?"
"All, if possible," she said sweetly, which just made him roll his eyes. "Okay, just two then. At least."
"We'll get three."
She squeaked in excitement, reached up to kiss his cheek and then proceeded to grab two extra boxes of Sugar Quills. "Meet you at the till?"
He nodded once, and then watched her scurry away. She was positively adorable when she was like this: all happy-go-lucky, smiley, excitable, and wrapped up so tightly that he wondered how it was possible for him to fall more and more in love with her every day. He grabbed a box of Chocolate Frogs for the Quidditch team before he headed to the front of the shop where he found Hermione waiting in line with Fay.
He moved to stand behind Hermione, placing a gentle hand on the small of her back, just letting her know that he was there. The two girls were talking about Ron and Emily, who were apparently currently in Madame Puddifoot's, making it uncomfortable for practically everyone.
"I love 'love' as much as the next person," Fay was saying; "but seriously. Why can't couples be more like the two of you?"
Hermione couldn't keep hold of her blush. Really, if Fay only knew what she and Harry did behind the curtains of his bed; she'd never look at them the same way.
"I get that it's the hormones," Fay continued; "but at least try to control yourselves in public."
Harry let out a laugh. "Oh, Fay," he said. "I think we need to find you a boyfriend."
Fay huffed in annoyance, even as Hermione looked amusedly at Harry. "Boys are all idiots at this age," she said, rolling her eyes.
Hermione nodded in agreement. "They are."
"Hey," Harry protested.
"Except for you, dear," she was quick to add, distracting him with a kiss to the underside of his chin.
"Hmm."
Hermione looked at Fay, winking conspiratorially. "You're up," she said, and Fay rushed to the till to pay for her few items. Next, Harry and Hermione were up, quickly paying for their own items. After their long day in Hogsmeade, Hermione was looking forward to the walk back to the Castle, with her Sugar Quills and with her Harry.
"Anything else you need to get?" Harry asked her as they left the shop.
She shook her head, keeping her eyes on him. "I have everything I need."
He couldn't help his smile, automatically linking his arm with hers. "Luna said she and Neville would be at the Three Broomsticks whenever we're done."
"Are you not-so-subtlely trying to tell me you want another Butterbeer?"
"And risk my hot body, definitely not."
She let out a laugh. "I see my words are getting to your head, huh?"
"My girlfriend thinks I'm hot; what can I say?"
"I do think you're hot," she said, squeezing his arm. "But, really, let's go get your Butterbeer, and those two friends of ours who just can't seem to get it together and figure out that they like each other."
His eyes widened as he started them walking towards the local pub. "You haven't actually said anything to either of them, have you?"
She shook her head. "Have you?"
"What can I say?" he asked. "I think it's best if we just let them figure it out for themselves. I mean, we did."
"It's all about timing, isn't it?"
He nodded. "That's what my mum says, anyway."
"She's a smart woman."
"Indeed she is."
The Three Broomsticks was relatively quiet, which could only be explained by the fact that the afternoon was drawing to a close. Hermione spotted Neville and Luna first, both of them seated in a booth, opposite each other and having a quiet conversation.
Luna's face broke out into a wide smile when she spotted the approaching couple.
"Another round?" Harry asked, as Hermione slipped in beside Luna.
After collective nodding, Harry was on his way to Madame Rosmerta to pick up four bottles of Butterbeer. She was still busy with two Ravenclaw Seventh-Years and he was forced to wait to get her attention. Although, when she did eventually look at him, it was as if she wasn't actually seeing him.
"Uh, can I get four Butterbeers please?"
She blinked once, twice, and then produced his order. The entire thing was odd, but he shook it off as he quickly paid and then carried the tray back to their booth. Once he was seated, he glanced over at her a few times, but his friends and their antics were enough of a distraction to claim his focus.
Neville was the one to suggest they head back up to the Castle when Luna finished the last drop of her drink. Collectively, they stood and rebundled up to face the cold before they left the pub to begin their walk back to the Castle.
"It's freezing," Hermione complained thirty seconds into their walk, burrowing deep into Harry's side, seeking warmth.
Harry could only smile at her antics as they trudged through the snow, Luna and Neville behind them, and a pair of Seventh-Years ahead of them. Harry was also keenly aware that they'd left Jack and Ron back in the Three Broomsticks, the two of them clearly involved in something secretive. Maybe they were discussing whatever they may have learnt about Malfoy.
"We'll get you in front of the fire in no time," Harry told her.
She was about to respond when they heard what could only be described as an escalating argument coming from somewhere ahead of them. Harry tensed immediately, shifting to stand in front of Hermione. Which was really rather moot when he realised it was just Katie arguing with her friend, Leanne Delph.
But then.
"What the - " he sputtered, just able to watch in amazement as Katie started to rise into the air. Leanne was also just watching with wide eyes, clear shock on her face. What was happening?
"She looks so peaceful," Luna said, a frown on her face.
Harry glanced at her before his eyes returned to the rising Katie, with Leanne trying to hold onto her legs, as if she could somehow stop her ascent. The entire thing was odd, because she did look peaceful. Graceful, even, with her arms outstretched as though she were about to fly off into oblivion.
Something was wrong.
"She's not doing it herself," Harry said, automatically moving forward. Katie's eyes were closed, and her robes and hair were whipping about as if she were in a whirlwind but it was as if she didn't feel any of it. Whatever she was feeling was peaceful.
Until she wasn't.
When she was high enough above the ground to rival the tops of the trees, her eyes flew open and she let out a piercing, glass-shattering scream. Hermione even blocked her ears to keep it out, the anguish of Katie's cry cutting straight into her heart. Katie screamed and screamed, which prompted Harry into action.
He turned to Neville. "Go get help!" he rushed, before he was running towards Katie and taking out his wand. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he had to do something. "What happened?" he asked Leanne, looking up at Katie.
She just stared at him with wide eyes.
He placed his hands on her shoulders, giving her his full attention. "What happened?" he repeated.
"I don't know," she finally said. "We were just arguing, and - " her gaze dropped to the ground. "We were arguing over that package."
Harry blinked. What package? He followed her gaze to the snow-covered floor to see the package she was talking about. He automatically bent down to retrieve it, but Leanne's scream stopped him.
"Don't!" she yelled. "Whatever's inside; it did that to Katie."
Harry stepped back, alarmed but, before he could question her further, the screams only increased, drawing attention.
Until, well, they just stopped.
Harry had enough time to look up to see Katie drop. She accelerated to the ground so quickly, and Harry's brain could barely get out a Cushioning Charm before she hit the ground with a sharp 'crack.'
The silence that followed was deafening.
Nobody moved.
Nobody even said a word.
It was only when Jack and Ron arrived that everyone kicked into action again. Harry dropped to his knees at Katie's side, though he didn't touch her in fear of injuring her or whatever was doing this to her being passed on to him. Cursed objects weren't his expertise.
"What happened?" Jack asked, looking around at all their blank faces. "Hermione," he said; "what happened? Merlin, what's going on?"
Hermione waited a beat before she spoke. "We have to get her back to the Castle," she said, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Madame Pomfrey will know what to do."
Harry just nodded, as he rose to his feet. "Granger, can you levitate her?" he asked, and waited for her nod. Next, he looked at Luna. "Get Professor Snape," he said. "Bring him to the Hospital Wing. Tell him Katie's been cursed."
"What?" Jack asked, his own eyes wide.
Harry turned to look at him. "Go get Dumbledore," he said. "He'll know what to do with this thing." Then, using his own wand, he levitated the cursed object, and started to walk briskly, expecting them to follow. Hermione did, and Luna took off at a run towards the Castle.
Jack hesitated for just a moment, before he too sprinted back to the Castle, with Ron quickly following.
"Leanne," Harry said, absently reaching out for the older girl to make sure she kept moving. She looked so out of it, and he didn't want her to fall behind. "Tell me more of what happened."
The girl was trembling, and Harry put an arm around her shoulders in comfort, splitting his attention between her and keeping the cursed package ahead of them.
"I tried to stop her," she said; "but she wouldn't listen."
"I know," Harry said, trying to be soothing.
"We were arguing," she sobbed. "What if the last thing I ever did was yell at her?"
Harry glanced over his shoulder at Hermione, who was just staring at him in concern. "We're going to get her to Madam Pomfrey," Harry said. "She'll know what to do, and then you can tell Katie anything you want."
Leanne let out another sob.
"Can you tell me about the package?" Harry tried. "Do you know where she got it?"
Leanne cleared her throat. "We - we were at the Three Broomsticks," she said, remembering. "She went to the bathroom and then came back with it. When I asked, she said it was for someone in the Castle, and she had to deliver it."
Harry frowned. "Did you ask her what it was?"
"She didn't know," she told him. "She - there was something wrong with her."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know," she confessed. "Just - she sounded odd. Looked strange."
Harry blinked, thinking back to Madam Rosmerta. "Leanne," he said carefully. "Do you think Katie could have been Imperiused?" he asked.
Before she could respond, a voice screaming his name caught their collective attention. Neville was running towards them, with Hagrid following close behind. The half-giant just took in the scene with his own wide eyes, before he moved towards Katie.
He mumbled something about having to hurry, and plucked Katie from the air before taking off at a speed Harry didn't think he was capable of.
Harry looked at Hermione. "Go with him," he said. "Take Leanne with you."
She frowned. "What about you?"
"I have to take care of this package," he said. "Just go. I've got Neville. We're right behind you."
Still, she hesitated.
He gave her a reassuring smile. "Go."
And she did. She blindly reached for Leanne's hand, and then the two girls were scurrying behind Hagrid, leaving Harry to make a decision. He and Neville could continue on to the Castle, or they could turn around and return to the Three Broomsticks to see Madam Rosmerta.
The decision was taken away from him when he spotted a group of people headed in his direction. He could make out Jack, Ron, Dumbledore and Argus Filch as they all stumbled through the snow towards the two of them.
"Where's Katie?" Jack asked, reaching Harry and Neville first.
"Hagrid's taken her to the Hospital Wing," Harry replied.
Behind Jack, Dumbledore came to a stop near the package. "Severus should be with them now," he commented, though he didn't look at any of the boys. His attention was solely on the ripped package. Harry could only watch as, with supreme care, their Headmaster opened the package further, making sure to keep his fingers on the brown wrapping.
From his position, Harry spotted a strange blackness to the Headmaster's fingertips, but his attention was really drawn to the name scribbled on a ripped piece and his mouth suddenly went dry.
Dumbledore's eyes flicked his way but he said nothing.
Inside the package was one of the most beautiful necklaces Jack had ever seen. Silver metal, and blue stones. No. Opal. But what really struck him the most was that he'd actually seen the necklace before. In Borgin and Burkes. But what was it doing here? And with Katie no less?
Dumbledore took a step back, clearly recognising it as well.
"What is it?" Ron asked.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I believe it is a Dark object, Mr Weasley," he said.
"How Dark?" Jack asked.
"Direct contact would result in a very painful death," he said, and all the boys shuddered. "Minimal contact is torturous, which I believe is what has happened to Miss Bell."
Harry swallowed, before he stepped forward. "Leanne said that Katie was acting odd," he said, addressing Dumbledore. "Said Katie got the package from the Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta was also acting quite weird."
Dumbledore looked pensive.
Harry took a breath. "I think they were Imperiused," he said. "Someone wanted Madam Rosmerta to give the necklace to Katie to bring to the Castle, to somehow deliver it to you, Sir."
Jack, Ron and Neville all stared at him but he kept his eyes on Dumbledore.
Eventually, the aged wizard let out a long breath. "That does appear to be the case, Mr Potter," he admitted. Then he turned to Filch. "Argus, take this package to my office."
Filch made a move towards the still levitating package, his hands cupping to support the package's bottom. Once it was secure, Harry dropped his levitation.
"What happens now, Professor?" Jack asked Dumbledore.
"Now," he said thoughtfully. "You four go up to the Castle. The professors and I will investigate what's happened here."
No boy was satisfied with that, though Dumbledore received no complaints. Harry and Jack shared a significant look, in which they both accepted the fact that they both suspected that Malfoy probably, definitely, had something to do with it.
How they would prove it, though, neither of them knew.
"Come on, Neville," Harry grumbled, as he started them on the walk to the Castle. He was burning with injustice. From his own experience, he knew that an 'investigation' by their professors would result in nothing. Whoever did this to Katie would get away with it and he didn't -
"Easy," Neville whispered to him when they reached the front of the Castle. "I can practically feel your magic."
He let out a breath. "Sorry."
"I don't even know why you're apologising to me," he said, smiling slightly. "We'll figure it out."
Harry shook his head. "It doesn't even matter if we do, Nev. What could we possibly do?"
Neville clapped Harry on the back. "We're the Mosstroopers."
Harry managed to smile at him as he let them descend into the silence. It wasn't said out loud but all four of them knew they were going to the Hospital Wing. If not to see Katie, then Harry was going to see Hermione.
What they didn't expect was to find Leanne, Luna and Hermione waiting outside and the Hospital Wing doors closed.
"Why are you outside?" Jack asked.
Hermione kept her eyes on Harry when she responded. "Professor Snape is in there with her," she said. "He managed to slow down the curse but - " she stopped, her voice catching. "It's serious."
Harry immediately moved towards her and took her in his arms, holding her to him. "She's going to be fine," he whispered, even though he couldn't really be sure. But she had to be.
Katie had to be fine.
She had to.
The students were still standing there when the doors eventually flew open to reveal Professor Snape, who looked equally surprised by the sight of them. Harry released Hermione and the two of them looked at their Defence professor expectantly.
"Oh," Snape said, dropping his arms to his sides and lifting his nose. "You're still here."
Jack stepped towards him. "How is she?"
"Miss Bell is expected to make a full recovery," he said slowly. "It will, however, take some time."
The students all nodded in understanding, each of them somewhat surprised that he'd actually responded to Jack's question.
Then: "Seeing as I have you here," he continued. "Will you pass on a message to your fellow students?" He kept his eyes on Hermione, whom he knew was one of the war games' team captains. "Owing to unforeseen circumstances, the Defense Against the Dark Arts war games have been postponed until further notice."
"Of course, Professor," Hermione said, stepping back into Harry's waiting arms.
Snape nodded once, before he moved out of the doorway and practically glided down the corridor, away from them, leaving them in his wake.
Harry glanced at Neville, a small smirk on his face. "Well, what do you know," he said somewhat cheekily. "The guy actually does have a heart."