Not a good idea

One evening, a little over three weeks later, Patrick walked out of his office, ready to leave for home. It was already past seven, and he huffed in surprise when he noticed Stella still sitting at her desk, bent over a small pile of files. "Stella, why are you still here?" he exclaimed, "You should be home with Caroline by now."

"Oh, I lost track of time," Stella laughed. "I went through the files of patients we haven't seen in over ten years and only noticed ten minutes ago that my time had already been up an hour ago. But I may as well finish this task."

"Now, let it sit until tomorrow and let me drive you home," Patrick said.

"Oh, no," Stella exclaimed, "please, you should go home to your family now. I will be alright, I'll only need a few more minutes and then I am going to take the bus."

"No, I insist, "Patrick said. "You are such a valuable addition to the surgery, I want to make sure you get home safely this late."

Stella cocked her head and contemplated his words for a few seconds. "Well, now, if you insist," Stella laughed, "then I won't say no any longer." She laid down her pen, got up and went to get her coat from the coat rack.

"Here, let me," Patrick said while approaching her and extended his hand so he could help her into her coat. Stella looked at him in surprise. Once she had slid into her coat, his hands lingered on her shoulders for a short while and Stella froze under his touch.

Then she bent down to take her handbag and both walked towards the door in silence. Stella closed the surgery door behind her and locked it with her key which she then put away into her handbag. Patrick watched her, and when they began to walk through the corridor towards the front door, he carefully placed his left hand on the small of her back. Upon sensing his touch, Stella leaned back and abruptly stood still. She half turned around to face Patrick, who had stopped, too, and suddenly her face was close to his. Both remained still for just a few seconds until Patrick bent down and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

Stella's face flushed and her trademark sweet smile lit her face. She raised on her tiptoes and returned the kiss, equally quick, but on his lips.

"Patrick, I am not sure this is such a good idea," she whispered after she had taken half a step back.

Patrick looked into her eyes and nodded, hardly visible.

"I know," he whispered back. "I know." He looked at her and, after a few seconds, added: "It is probably not."

They remained standing in silence for a while, looking at each other longingly. Until Patrick closed the distance between them and enclosed Stella in a tight embrace in which they remained for another few minutes.

Then Stella stepped back again and said, quietly: "I think I better go, you are expected home, with your family."

Patrick nodded, but replied: "Stella, I am going to drive you, no argument. I won't let you walk home alone in the dark."

Stella smiled at him, turned around and walked along the hallway, into the direction of Patrick's car parked on the street outside.

The drive to her house was silent. Patrick and Stella only occasionally glanced at each other and just before Patrick took the last turn into Stella's street, he reached out with his left hand and tightly squeezed both of hers, firmly gripped together on her lap, just for a second.

"Thank you, Patrick," Stella whispered when the car had come to a halt in front of her house and hastily got out, without looking at him again. She quickly walked towards her front door which she entered without turning around again until Patrick slowly drove off.

When he arrived home, he noticed the lights upstairs, indicating Shelagh was taking Angela and Teddy to bed. Patrick noticed by a quick glance at his watch that it was already past 8 pm and he hurried inside. Just after he had hung up his coat, he heard Shelagh's gentle footsteps coming down the stairs.

"You're late today, Patrick?" she asked while she approached him and kissed him on the cheek. Patrick drew her into a tight embrace and breathed in the scent of her hair before answering: "Good to be home, dear. I am sorry, I wanted to finalize the forms they sent from the ministry of health. With the end of the year coming up, everyone wants to have their forms completed. I should have called but lost track of time."

"Never mind. I expected you to be working on those forms. I know how much you like to get them off your desk. But I hope you didn't keep Mrs Gillespie late."

"Oh, "Patrick said, "well, actually she lost track of time, too. She was busy going through the files of our very old cases and then I took her home. She wanted to take the bus but I didn't want her to walk through the dark when we practically have the same way home."

Shelagh took a step back, holding her husband by his upper arms. "You are such a gentleman, Dr Turner. I know why I married you." Then she turned around and indicated for him to follow her into the kitchen where he noticed his place was set for a late dinner. "And I know why I married you," he murmured.

During the following days, Patrick and Stella carefully tiptoed around each other. They would look at the other with occasional longing glances, or permit a small smile while secretly watching one another carrying out their tasks. Both kept a strictly professional appearance, with Stella leaving as soon as her time was up and both taking care of not being alone with the other in the same room for too long.

Until, about one week after the incident that had taken both by surprise, Stella knocked on Patrick's door. It was his lunch break, the maternity home was quiet and the surgery door locked. Shelagh, Stella knew, had been on night shift the night before and was supposed to spend the early afternoon catching up with her sleep while the children were still looked after by others.

Stella entered just after she had knocked. Patrick, who was sitting on his desk, head buried in his hands, looked up when he heard her enter. Before he could say something, Stella began: "Patrick, I think we need to talk."

He nodded towards the chair in front of his desk where Stella sat down.

"Patrick," she said slowly and looked at him earnestly. "We need to talk about what happened the other night."

Patrick nodded again and swallowed. "Yes, I think we ought to."

"What happened happened, I think, with both of us wanting it, but also knowing it was wrong." She paused and looked into his face.

Patrick looked at her with a neutral expression and Stella proceeded: "We are both mature adults and we both have lost a spouse. I think neither of us wants their families to suffer again, so nothing is going to happen between us. I like your wife and I adore your children. And no matter what I feel for you, I would never be able to destroy a family. If you want me to, I am going to hand in my notice now."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "Stella, no. No, this is not what I want." He paused and buried his face in his hands for a short moment. Then he looked at her again and proceeded: "Stella, I feel the same about you. I do feel attracted to you and I feel so very comfortable with you around. It's not like I am madly in love, it rather is… we are the same age, we have gone through some of the same things in life. We understand each other on so many levels."

"Patrick," Stella began but he shook his head. "Please, Stella," he said. "Let me finish. I need to tell you just how much I appreciate you and your support. And I appreciate what you just said. I, too, would never want to break up a family, not mine, not yours. But as you said, we are mature adults and we can control ourselves. I do not want you to hand in your notice. I rather would like to have you around. As my receptionist and my friend."

Stella looked at him intently. Then her lovely smile spread over her face. She moved a bit closer to his desk and extended her hand to cover his, laying limp on his desk, with hers. "Who knows what might have happened if we had met a few years earlier?" she asked.

"Yes, who knows," Patrick said while he got up and walked around his desk towards her. Stella got up too and both hugged tightly for a short moment before retreating again. Patrick looked at Stella, then bent down and brushed her cheek with his lips. "Nothing more is going to happen, but I must tell you how lovely you are, how sweet you look, with that sunny smile of yours. It makes me happy whenever I see you sit at the desk outside, smiling at a patient or at me walking by."

Stella smiled and extended her hands to adjust Patrick's tie. "You know, almost every time I see you here in your office I feel tempted to do this. I don't know how you are doing it but your tie never seems right during the afternoons."

Patrick covered her hands, still fidgeting with his tie, with his left hand and squeezed gently. "Please feel free to do so. I want to look professional for my patients. And I appreciate you taking care of me."

Stella cocked her head and carefully brushed a strain of hair out of his forehead. "You should consider combing your hair before you go on your rounds, doctor," she said teasingly.

Patrick laughed, "Anything else, Mrs Gillespie?"

"Yes, hurry up now, out on your rounds or you'll be late again," Stella said and hurried out of his office in order to fetch Patrick the list she had prepared for this afternoon's house calls.