A capable woman

Christmas came and went and all of a sudden, everyone found themselves in the new year 1964. Patrick noticed that for quite some time now he was looking forward to every morning he arrived at his surgery and found Stella at her desk, greeting him with her lovely smile, a few friendly words and, first thing after he had sat down at his desk, a hot cup of tea.

She had quickly become a favourite of his patients, too, with many pointing out to Patrick that while they were sorry Mrs Turner was no longer working at the surgery, he had been dealt with a very lucky hand in finding her replacement.

One afternoon early in January, Patrick returned to the surgery after his rounds and was surprised to find his wife at the receptionists' desk, Teddy on her lap. Angela was sitting on the floor, colouring on a sketch pad.

"Now this is a surprise," he exclaimed when entering the surgery. "Where's Stella?

"I sent her home. I felt she has been working so hard in the past weeks, even coming in during the holidays, so she deserved a break. Also she volunteered to come in for an extra shift on Friday. That is when you wanted to put together the numbers for the health report, you remember? I have gathered all the files but I won't manage to complete the statistics in time, I am afraid. Sister Julienne has been called to Chichester and won't return before next week, so I am going to cover another night shift for her."

Shelagh looked up to Patrick and he smiled. He loved seeing his wife being enthusiastic about her work, her cheeks reddening and her eyes sparkling with the prospect of being there where she could help another labouring mother or an ill child. He stepped closer to her desk, bent down and kissed her on the cheek. He whispered in her ear: "How are you, love? I like to think my prescription has helped to calm you down a little?"

Shelagh smiled warmly. "Yes, I do feel so much better. The Valium has helped a lot. I lost the feeling of constantly being overstrained. And I do sleep so much better."

Patrick smiled and then he kissed both his children on their hair, took a step back again and said: "Let's get you home. And how about we have fish and chips for dinner? I suppose no one will mind, and you won't have to cook, dear?"

"I have finished all statistics, do you need anything else, Patrick?" Stella asked, leaning against the doorframe of Patrick's office.

"Yes, actually I do," Patrick replied and chuckled when he noticed Stella's face drop.

"What is so funny?" she asked.

"Your face, dear," Patrick replied. "I am sorry, I assume you want to go home and please, feel free to go, I have kept you long enough. But Shelagh packed a few slices of pie and I got two bottles of beer on my way here so we could have dinner. I am in need of a dinner companion. The children will have eaten and be asleep when I get back, and I suppose Caroline will have already eaten, too?"

Stella smiled and watched to clock on the mantelpiece behind Patrick's desk. "Yes, I prepared something to eat for her, though Caroline is smart, she will get along by herself. She was forced to grow up early."

"So was Tim," Patrick replied while he got up from his chair and reached for a picnic basket behind his desk. "Would you mind getting us some plates, cutlery and glasses?"

Stella quickly went to do as Patrick had suggested and when she returned, he had spread a red and white checkered tea towel on his desk and placed the container holding the pie into the middle, two bottles of ale next to it. Patrick had also loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves, indicating his work day was definitely over.

Stella put down the plates and arranged the food on the plates she had brought while Patrick opened the bottles and poured the liquid into their glasses.

"You never really told me about your Christmas," Patrick said, "did you have a good time with your children?" He immediately regretted having said anything, because Stella's smile waned and her face turned sad.

"Well, it was quiet. It was really only Caroline and me this year. Gerald is still sailing somewhere in the Mediterranean and Thomas spent most of the time with his future in-laws in Norwich. He came by for dinner on Christmas Eve but left early the following morning. They invited him over and who wouldn't want to be with their fiancée for the holidays," she said, her voice meekly. "But we managed," she added in a cheerful voice, not quite covering her sadness. "Caroline and I have been through a lot, we are a good team. And we have a few friends in the neighbourhood who invited us over, too."

Patrick smiled at her affectionately. "I am sorry. I should have realized this was not an easy time for you. Not long until we are probably going to have to miss Timothy during Christmas. I dare not think of how sad his siblings will be once he has left the house."

Stella shook her head and said: "Let's not get sentimental, Patrick, alright? I think the food you brought looks lovely, why don't we tuck in?"

Patrick happily nodded and raised his glass. He looked at Stella with an amused expression and explained: "This is the only time of year I have a bottle after work in my office. As much as I appreciate reading the health report, I absolutely despise having to compile all those statistics."

Stella raised her glass, too and smiled. "Good that you have surrounded yourself with enough capable women helping you then."

Patrick chuckled. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support." He sighed. "I am glad Shelagh realized it would have been too much to help me. She is so good with all those statistics but with everything she has on her plate right now it would not have been right to add this."

He paused, looked at Stella with an encouraging smile and said: "To you, Stella, and your invaluable support."

"Thank you, Patrick. And to your kind and generous manner. I could not have a better boss."

Both took a sip from their beer and then began to eat. Both ate in silence until everything was finished. "Judging by the amount you ate you did again skip your lunch break, am I right?" Stella asked while she leant back in her chair, holding her glass from which she sipped occasionally. She had rolled up the sleeves of her blouse and the beer had flushed her cheeks, also adding yet more sparkle to her bright eyes.

Patrick smiled ruefully. "You caught me. I am afraid you know me too well by now, Mrs Gillespie. It's only been, what, six weeks since you started here?"

Stella smiled. "Yes, six weeks yesterday. But I have been married to a man your age, you know."

"How old were you when you got married, if you don't mind me asking?" Patrick asked.

"Oh no, never," Stella quickly replied. "I was 25 when we got married. This was in 1938. We had met four years earlier. When we got married, Martin was 28 and had been waiting for a promotion before the wedding. I had wanted us to get married much earlier. Oh, I was so furious at the time, but in hindsight I benefited from having to working for a few years. After his death I was quickly able to find work as a secretary because of my prior experience."

Patrick smiled a sad smile. "The war was a catastrophe. And it changed to much. I was engaged just before the war, to a nurse. But she broke it off, after she had met someone else, another doctor, at a military hospital. Soon after the war I met Marianne, really the best thing that could have happened then."

Stella looked at him intently. She leant back in her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest, taking in a deep breath. "Martin never told me about the war. And I never asked him. Thomas was born in 1939, just before Martin went away. He was home for two months after he had suffered a lung injury in 1942, and in 43, Gerald was born. Martin always said he was lucky he came home in one piece. And judging by what my friends tell me about their husbands, he was one piece. I think everyone took home their scars, visible or invisible, - " her voice trailed off and she looked up from her lap into Patrick's eyes.

Patrick remained silent until Stella whispered: "You have yours as well, I assume?"

Patrick nodded slowly. Stella watched him bite his lips and blink a few times. Then she slowly got up and walked around his desk. She went up behind him, bent down, placed her head on his left shoulder and closed her arms around his chest. When she placed a very light kiss on his left cheek, Patrick let out a first very gentle sob.

"You don't have to say anything, Patrick," Stella whispered. "I can see you must have suffered so much. I am here with you now."

Patrick silently sobbed, leaning into Stella's embrace. Stella gently hummed words of affection and comfort into his ear, very gently rocking Patrick back and forth while she pressed her right cheek against his left.

"Martin came back changed and broken. He tried hard to not show it but I would notice every single night. He would cry and shout and talk. So I know, Patrick, I know."

They remained in their position for a long time, until Patrick slowly turned his head. He breathed in deeply and kissed Stella's cheek which was now resting against his face. Stella, too, turned her head and the two began kissing each other very slowly and gently. Patrick slowly rose from his chair, never breaking the kiss. He drew Stella firmly against his body and the two kept kissing for a while until Stella retreated, her face flush and her hair slightly dishevelled. She smiled and leaned her forehead against Patrick's chin. "Oh, Dr Turner, didn't we say we would not do this anymore?"

Patrick smiled and tightened their embrace. "I know," he whispered. "But right now it feels so very good." He breathed in and leaned in for another kiss. "You feel so very good," he murmured.

Stella took her head back just a little bit. "Patrick, before we go on, please let me say one more time that I do not want to come between you and your wife."

Patrick looked at her. "You are so very kind, Stella. You will not, you do not. With you, it is so… different. It feels so natural to talk to you and also to touch you."

Stella leant forward and gave Patrick a quick kiss on his cheek before she shuffled out of his embrace, walked around his desk again and began to clear the plates and glasses.

"I am sorry, Stella, did I do anything to offend you?"

Stella lifted her head to face Patrick. "No, you did not. But it is getting late and we said we would be careful. Come on, give me a hand."

Patrick hurried to her side and collected the items belonging into his basket.

A few minutes later Patrick's desk no longer bore any traces of their shared meal and Patrick and Stella met in the hallway in front of his office. "Your cheeks are all red, "Patrick chuckled and brushed Stella's right cheek with his right hand. "It is adorable what a few sips of beer are doing to you. You look like a twenty-year-old visiting the pub for the first time."

Stella beamed at him. "A few sips and a few kisses, don't forget these, dear" she laughed.

Patrick quickly drew her into another embrace and hugged her tightly. Then he pecked her lips with his own and laughed again. "Just an experiment. To see what happens."

Stella laughed with him. "Always the scientist, aren't you?" she said teasingly and kissed Patrick on the cheek. "Time's up, Dr Turner. I think you are expected at home. Don't let Timothy be babysitter too often. I take it he will be watching the little ones until you are back?"

Patrick nodded. "I am telling you from experience," Stella explained. "When I went back to work the boys had to watch Caroline too often and they didn't always appreciate it. So be careful about putting Timothy to work too much."

"Noted," Patrick chuckled. "So let's get you home so I can relieve my poor son from his task. I do think he quite enjoys these evenings, though. He gets to watch the telly without me or Shelagh checking on him. The little ones are usually tight sleepers so he does not have to do much."

Patrick and Stella put on their coats and walked outside to Patrick's car. Inside they remained silent until they were almost at Stella's house.

"Patrick, thank you very much for dinner, and your company, I had a lovely evening."

"I had a lovely evening, too. Thank you so much for all your support and for being a good friend."

Stella looked at him and for a brief moment Patrick assumed she would lean in to kiss him, but she only brushed his thigh with her hand. He parked the car and with a quiet "Good night," Stella got out and quickly walked towards her house. Patrick noticed a lit window on the first floor which he assumed would be Caroline's room. He waited until Stella had closed the door behind her until he drove off again.

Back home, Patrick entered a quiet house. He hung his coat on the coat rack, toed off his shoes and walked upstairs to check on his children. As he had anticipated, both Teddy and Angela were sound asleep. He found Timothy in his room, listening to music, reading a book.

"No TV tonight?"

"Dad," Timothy began, furrowing his brow in anger, and Patrick smiled.

"It is alright, son, just teasing."

He wished his eldest good night and considered going downstairs again, watching a bit of TV. But then he decided to go to bed and read for a while. He barely spent an evening all by himself and felt an urge to have a bit of quiet.

When he got to bed, Patrick thought about Stella. He wondered how she must be feeling. He was lucky having met Shelagh. He remembered the months after Marianne's death. It had been so very difficult to sleep alone, to never be able to discuss his work, Timothy, anything with anyone.

Stella had had to raise three children, all by herself. She never once complained, she always wore that compelling smile. Patrick wondered what it all meant. And he wondered how he wasn't even bothered by feelings of guilt. He was married. He loved his wife. His wife loved him. They had three children and what certainly was a happy home. But then he had kissed another woman. And it had felt good and right. No guilt.

Stella felt something for him, just as he felt for Stella. He could not quite name it, but he believed Stella telling him she would never break up his marriage. He also knew Stella's feelings were genuine, and he had to admit it flattered him to be admired and loved by an attractive and lovely women such as Stella. While at the same time being married to an equally attractive and immensely lovely woman like Shelagh.