Warnings: Language, very emotional

There was a checkpoint up ahead. Benny had taken the lead since Dean was in no position to show any papers or talk to any personnel personal. Amongst the refugees that Jo and Jimmy had in the truck were some military POW's. Some of their group had been killed when they dropped into Calumet looking for the Hunters to offer them support. They were what was left. Andrew Gallagher, Victor Hendrickson, and Cole Trenton.

"Stop." A man at the checkpoint said. Benny rolled down the window so the man could lean against it. "Can I help you?"

"Colonel Benjamin Lafitte requesting permission to bring some Americans home." Benny said. He produced his papers for the man to review. "There are other military personnel in the vehicles behind us." The guy radioed back what he had and was told to let them enter. Benny motioned for everyone to follow, and together they made their way into Free America.

Dean wasn't sure what was going on. One minute, he was sitting in the back of the Impala, holding Sam and praying that his pulse was just faint and would come back. The next, his little brother was being taken away from him with promises that they would try to fix this. Dean's wild animal mode activated and he wanted to launch himself at the person who took his Sammy away from him, but he was held back by Cas and Bobby.

"Are you okay?" A sweet woman asked, noticing all the blood on Dean. A tear fell down his face.

"It's not mine." He whispered. She looked up at the two men who nodded in agreement. She offered up a sad smile before walking away to check on the others. Dean slumped against the Impala.

"Dean…" Cas said. Dean looked up at him.

"I failed him." Dean whimpered. "Sammy…dad…mom…I failed them all." Cas grabbed Dean and pulled him into a hug. And soon, he wasn't alone. Several other arms were wrapped around them, hugging the last Winchester, trying to take away his pain.

"Dean." Cain said, stepping towards him after the group had disbursed to get food and medical help. "As someone who has lost a brother, I know how hard this is for you." He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "I just want you to know that now Sam is someplace safe, where nothing can hurt him. You did protect him in the end."

"Why don't I feel like it?" Dean asked. "Why can't my dad and Sam and Caleb, and everyone that has died just come back?" Dean looked at Cain for the answers, but Cain could only offer a small shrug.

Later that night, Dean, Benny, Andy, Victor, and Cole were all set in the commanding officer for this post's tent. He was debriefing the men of their "adventures" in enemy territory, and giving Dean and Benny credit for all the kills and saves. Dean didn't say anything though. Because the one save that meant the world to him hadn't been accomplished and he missed him. He missed him so damn much. Once the CO released them, Dean bolted, despite the fact that Benny hung back to talk to the other three. Dean wanted to find a bar and drink himself silly. Maybe he could drink just enough that he could see Sam again.

"Dean." A soft voice from behind him. He turned around to see Ruby standing there.

"Shit Ruby, you can't just sneak up on people like that." Dean said.

"Sorry." She said, looking down. She didn't really talk much, Meg usually did all the talking for her, much like Dean used to do for Sam. "Lisa asked me to bring this to you." She held out a Calumet High gym bag.

"Why?" Dean asked. Ruby looked up at him.

"It's Sam's." She said. Dean didn't even have to be told twice, swiping the bag from her.

"Uh…thanks Ruby." Dean said. She nodded and walked away quickly. Dean quickly headed towards the quarters he had been given, wanting to hide away from everyone. He didn't want to see another damn person ever again, but he knew that wasn't possible. So hiding for a few hours was the next logical step.

Dean walked into the small tent. The fabric helped block out a lot of the sound from the outside. He flopped down on the provided cot, the gym bag setting on the ground beside him. He ran a hand down his face, fatigue hitting him hard. He was a little pissed at himself that he didn't even get a bottle of beer, but there were more important things right now. Like that damn gym bag sitting on the floor. He carefully pulled it up onto the cot by him, like it was the most important object in the world. And to Dean, it was.

Carefully unzipping it, the first thing Dean saw were a couple pieces of clothing. Everyone kept a few pieces away from the general group that they didn't want ruined. One of the shirts in Sam's bag was one of Dean's Led Zeppelin tees that he had left on the back floorboard of the Impala. The other was Sam's soccer jersey he had been wearing the day they made a break for the mountains. Dean held it in his hands, staring at it. The wolverine colors, the name Winchester on the back, Sam's number, every little detail. Dean carefully laid it aside and went through the bag more.

There was a couple spiral bound notebooks that had come in the supplies from Cassie and her brother. The first one Dean opened had some homemade games; tic-tac-toe, hangman, and Mad Libs. Dean had to smile some at the answers that he was sure Caleb had gave Sam for the Mad Libs. Sam's best friend had a dirty mind and a dirty mouth, but if you had asked his mom, she would tell you he was a fine young man.

Dean got to witness that first hand.

The other notebook was a little bit thicker than the game one had been. Opening it up, Dean realized it wasn't just a notebook. It was a journal. Sam had been writing in it, trying to keep himself sane. Carefully, Dean flipped each page, reading the little snippets that Sam had put on the pages. There were little doodles in the margins, but Sam's real strength was with the words. He knew how to handle a pen and poor so much emotion and strength into the simplest of words. Dean sometimes was jealous that Sam had such an amazing gift. That's when Dean noticed his name wrote at the top of the last page.

Dean,

If you're reading this, then either I'm dead or stupid enough to let you read it. Probably the first part. I have the Winchester luck after all. If I'm dead, you're probably blaming yourself right now, aren't you? It's not your fault Dean. Whatever I did, I probably shouldn't have. But that's not important right now. What is important is that you need to move on with your life. Don't drink yourself into an early grave, don't turn into dad, don't do anything like that. You told me that you were going to get me out and I was going to go on and tell people our story. Well, this is how I'm going to do it. Through you. You have this journal and you have all the memories. You have to live on to tell our story. As for the rest of your life, I really liked Lisa, I thought she was nice, but I don't think she was right for you. Plus her and Benny seem pretty close. Out of all your girlfriends that you've had in the past, I think I would be happy to see you and Cassie together. She risked her life to help us and I can't think her enough. She'd be willing to put up with your dumbass. And Dean, here's the mandatory chick flick moment that you hate (I know you love them). You're the best big brother that anyone could ask for. And I know that you would be a great dad someday, because you already raised me.

I love you jerk,
Sammy

Tears filled Dean's eyes. He wasn't sure if he could go on looking through Sam's bag, but something was calling to him. He carefully laid the journal on top of the jersey. There were a couple small items in the bag that didn't catch Dean's interest, but one thing did. Sam's wallet. He didn't even know that Sam had brought it with him to the mountains. He saw a corner of a piece of paper sticking out of the bottom. He opened it to see a picture he thought would be lost for the rest of his life. One of his favorites. It was the one that he had seen several times on the fridge since John had it printed years ago. Sam was squirmy from John tickling his sides. Dean hadn't really wanted to be there, but now he was glad he was.

Something snapped in Dean then. He didn't cry anymore, he didn't scream. He didn't do anything like that. Instead, he gathered up everything of Sam's and put it back in the bag. He grabbed his own items and headed towards the Impala. Some of the supplies from the mountains were still in the trunk of the Impala.

"Dean?" Cas said, watching the Winchester looking around the car. "Dean, what's going on?" Dean didn't say anything though. He just got in the car and sped off from the base. Cas ran over to the others who were in line to get food.

"Cas? What is it?" Benny asked. Cas's eyes were wide.

"Guys, Dean just ran off." Cas explained.

"What do you mean he ran off?" Jimmy asked.

"He's gone." Cas said. "He left. And I have a feeling he's not coming back."