Present Day: Trixie's POV
"So, what exactly is the punishment for throwing elegantly folded napkins at a formal Thanksgiving gathering?" Hallie Regan asked jokingly as she followed her cousin Trixie Frayne across the courtyard of Ten Acres Academy.
"Well, I guess it would be a little too severe to make you clean the kitchen all by yourself…" Trixie started.
"Look, just don't make me sit by Aunt Alicia and watch her gum her food, okay? I think that's more than I can take today."
Trixie snapped her fingers in mock disappointment.
"Oh, darn! That is exactly what I had in mind, too." She let out a dramatic sigh and held the door of the administrative wing open for Hallie to pass through. "I guess I'll just have to let you off with a warning this time, since you are still recovering from your little episode and all."
The shorter, blonde woman made a big production of holding up quotations and raising her high brows as she pronounced the word "episode," and it made both of them laugh a little.
"Oh, is that what everyone is calling it? Gee, thanks, Trix. The way you say it makes it sound like I overdosed myself. I don't even take an aspirin if I have a headache, and you know that. How humiliating!"
Trixie smiled as she led Hallie down the corridor to her office and unlocked the classic wooden door with the frosted window reading Headmistress/Assistant Principal.
"Hey, relax, Hallie. No one is actually calling it that. I was just teasing you. We all know it was the paramedics' fault you got sick."
"Yeah, but somehow Will still feels responsible. You know, that kid blames himself for the craziest things. He…"
Hallie suddenly stopped short the minute she stepped inside Trixie's office; a look of understanding dawned across her face.
"What's the matter?" Trixie asked with a grin. "Does he sound like someone else you know?"
Hallie just stood there with a look of shock and humility, and Trixie could tell that she was beginning to understand how unnecessary her own feelings of guilt really were.
It made Trixie reach out and pull her cousin close in a warm embrace.
"I'm sorry I eavesdropped on your conversation with Mart, but I was really worried about you. He was right when he said you shouldn't blame yourself, Hallie. Just like Will shouldn't blame himself for what happened to you."
Trixie could feel Hallie relaxing against her, so she squeezed her a little more tightly and briskly rubbed her back a few times before releasing her.
"You're right," Hallie said, pulling away with a sniff. "I…I guess I never realized how much these dumb ideas were affecting my children. It ends today. It has to. I…I have to let some things go."
"And I think I know something that will inspire you." Trixie said softly.
She walked to a door marked "Supply Closet" and pulled it open. After turning on the light and stepping aside so Hallie could see in, Trixie could hear her cousin's sharp intake of breath.
"I…I forgot you had that," Hallie whispered.
She stared at the object hanging in a large shadow box frame on the back wall of the walk-in supply closet.
It was a leather jacket.
A black leather jacket.
And it had belonged to Dan Mangan.
"I recently had it framed and put in here so that I would remember Dan every time I have to discipline a child in our school." Trixie said. "I look at it and think about the way everyone misjudged him because of this jacket. How some people just couldn't see what was underneath it. At one point, even me. I don't want to be that way with these kids. I want to be fair and take the time to see through all their survival techniques. To get beyond each façade before I determine how they should be punished. I would never want to make a kid feel as discouraged as Dan did when he first came here."
"He would have liked that," Hallie breathed.
She stepped forward and lightly touched the glass as if she were afraid it was going to crumble under her fingers.
"When he gave it to me, Dan had said he wanted me to have it because I was the one who started the whole process that led to him switching it for a Bobwhite jacket," Trixie continued. "Well, I don't know if I totally agree, but…"
"Oh, Trixie, you know it's true." Hallie interrupted. "If you hadn't begged him to help you get Bobby out of that hole, he would have gone back to New York City with Luke."
Trixie saw Hallie shudder as she said the old gang leader's name. And, she knew why, too.
"But, he didn't go back." Trixie said, wanting to avoid dwelling on that subject. "And he didn't look back, either. He let go of his past and kept working toward a brighter future. And, I think he would have wanted us all to do the same."
Hallie walked out of the closet and slowly sat down on the loveseat in Trixie's stylishly decorated office.
"Funny," she said sadly, "but…I…I always thought that was what I was doing. I learned to love again, I'm not afraid of death anymore, and I have three beautiful children. Honestly, Trixie, I'm not looking back. I'm very happy with Bill. I just don't understand why I've carried all this guilt for so long. Now that I think about it, it…it really doesn't make any sense."
"Grief never does. It's a pretty illogical process."
"Did you…ever…have guilt?"
Trixie closed the closet door behind her and crossed to sit down beside the dark haired woman on the couch.
"All the time. I felt guilty when I got married, because I knew Dan would never get to marry you. I felt guilty when I found out I was pregnant with Katie, because I didn't think he'd ever get to be a father. I felt guilty for being angry with you when you first starting going out with Regan, and then I felt guilty at your wedding because I wasn't even the least bit sad."
"You know, I don't think anyone was sad that day," Hallie smiled.
"Not a one. And I think the whole town showed up and cheered when Daniel was born." Trixie couldn't help but beam at the thought of that glorious day. "I truly don't know how you kept the secret from him for so long when so many people already knew Dan was his father."
Hallie sighed.
"It wasn't easy; that's for sure. And it sure does feel good to finally have it out in the open. He's handled it so well."
"Because he's strong. Like Dan." Trixie reached over and patted her cousin on the hand. "And he knows where to look when he needs an answer; so, don't worry about him anymore, okay? God's got it figured out. He'll take good care of him."
Hallie nodded in agreement and squeezed Trixie's hand.
"Thanks," she whispered.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Trixie rose from her seat and waved the air dismissively. "What was that you used to say? 'I don't hug or do that mushy stuff?' Let's drop the sad talk and get back to the party, okay? I think I hear a pecan pie calling me."
The taller woman laughed, as she too stood up and walked toward the door.
"I guess I have gotten a little bit mushy in my old age," Hallie conceded.
"And stubborn. No, wait…you were always stubborn." Trixie teased.
"I take after my cousin," Hallie shot back.
"Oooh, just for that, I think I will seat you next to Aunt Alicia."
"No! Not that! Anything but that!"
The two women were giggling and walking back across the courtyard with linked arms when they first spotted the angry Bill Regan storming red faced out of the dining hall in front of them.
"Dad! Wait!" Daniel Mangan Regan cried out as he also emerged from the door.
The handsome teen was trying to catch up to the red haired giant, but his limp made it too difficult for him.
"Dad! Please, stop! Talk to me!"
"No!" Regan shouted, whirling around angrily. "If you think you're grown up enough to be a dad, then you certainly don't need any more advice from me."
Trixie watched in shock as Regan stomped over to where she and Hallie were standing. She was trying desperately to understand what was happening.
With clenched teeth, Regan muttered to his wife.
"I'm going for a walk to clear my head. Just whistle when it's time for dinner."
He shifted from foot to foot as if he wasn't sure he wanted to say more, but he seemed to have a need to explain something.
"Ashley's pregnant," he grunted.
And he stalked off leaving Trixie, Hallie, and even Daniel staring after him in shocked disbelief.