I bit my lip, embarrassed. "I've never loved anyone," I admitted.
"You do," he said softly, making my fingertips trace his cheeks. "You just don't know it."
We fell silent, staring again.
"When I look into your eyes, I see you looking back at me and… no one has looked at me like that for a long time." My voice burned with regret.
This was it, I had opened myself too far, now he knew my little secret. This sent a pain through my chest-but nothing like the gaping hole my grief for Kowalski had left behind.
"I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner." He looked back at me as if he could see my soul, too, and as if he liked what he saw.
His impossibly long lashes fluttered as his eyes moved from my eyes to my lips, then back again.
I felt as his lips pressed with a feather-light touch and the pain was dulled by the warmth it gave. I took a deep, shuttering breath as I tried to control my thoughts. When his lips pulled away and cold air hit my head I found myself wishing he would kiss me again...anywhere.
Stop thinking like that, you barely know the man.
He crushed his lips on mine.
Flags lips were still before mine were. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with surprise and delight.
Finally, he let go of my face and leaned away, staring at me with his olive eyes wide and earnest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to attack you like that,"
I just looked at him-I couldn't think of anything to say. He kissed the back of my hand, and then my forehead, each time it was like an electric shock to my long dormant heart.
The sound of its beating seemed to fill the entire room.
It was heaven–right smack in the middle of hell.
"I can't keep myself away from you anymore."
There was a catch in my breath. "So don't." I whispered.
Rick's eyes sparkled at the words and smiled down at me, waiting for me to lean up and kiss him - show him the new emotion that I'd realized existed. But you see, I'm not what you would call a traditional girl.
I think the only way to describe what I did would be to pounce on him. Attack him. Throw myself onto him - other such violent verbs.
He watched me warily, but didn't say anything. It looked like the words had been taken from him. His jaw stayed slack as I rushed up to him and, holding eye contact, grabbed his face in my hands, and crashed my lips into his. He leaned back to sit onto my bed, letting me climb onto his lap.
His arms finally found me, and he kissed back as though he were unsure at the beginning. I grasped his hair in my hands. I finally allowed myself to have him.
His smouldering eyes held a lot of different things I wasn't used to - the lust there was overpowering and of course the shock that I was being so forceful.
His arms wrapped around me, holding me against him, summer and winter.
It felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire.
Late morning, maybe afternoon, I wasn't sure. Everything besides the time was clear.
I was too happy to change nothing, no matter how small.
The only sounds were the footsteps and roar of truck engines outside, our breathing, heartbeats.…
I was comfortable, even with Flag's body intertwined with mine. His warm skin was the perfect antidote to the cold.
His arm wound around me, felt very easy and natural. I wondered idly what I'd been so panicky about yesterday. My fears all seemed silly now.
His fingers softly trailed down my leg, and I knew that he knew I was happy.
I gazed into his relaxed green eyes, and stroked my fingers around his neck, holding myself closer to him.
He didn't speak; his fingers moved up and down my leg, barely touching it as he lightly traced patterns on my skin.
We'd stared at each other for what seemed like a long time, staring at what neither of us could live through losing: the other.
I saw my reflection glimmer in his agonized eyes as the sun touched my own skin.
His eyebrows moved an infinitesimal bit, then his lips.
I would have been happy to lie here forever, to never disturb this moment, but my mind had other ideas.
"How much trouble am I in?" I asked in a small voice.
"Heaps," he said, but he smirked at me.
I breathed a sigh of relief. "I am sorry," I said. "I didn't mean… Well, I don't know exactly what that was last night."
His eyes fell to me lips and stayed there.
"I never asked you…" I murmured.
Flag hummed in reply.
"Did you get Ghani?"
He sighed. "I didn't. You did."
I dragged myself off his arm to kiss him.
He kissed me back, but not in a way that made me think I was winning. It was more like he was being careful not to hurt my feelings; he was completely, maddeningly in control of himself.
Gently, he pulled me away after a moment and cradled me against his chest.
"We're doing a memorial at the bar tonight. I assume you'll be there?" He asked softly.
"Of course I will." I stared, thoughtfully, watching his lashes flutter against his cheek. "Why do you call me Jaz?"
Flag chuckled. "I don't know-I guess I wanted a reaction out of you. Does it offend you?"
"No, I like it when you say it," i smiled.
"Good." He shifted from under me, and grabbed his clothes.
I stared at his bare naked body, and marvelled at what I'd just had with him. But maybe it would end here. Had he got what he needed off his chest.
"I will see you at the Silver Bullet tonight then." He grinned, buttoning his shirt.
I sank back into my pillow, pulling the sheet over me. "Yeah." I was afraid to ask what was going to happen with us now.
He leaned over the bed to kiss my forehead. "I have debrief."
I suspected that excuse had been nothing but fact. "Okay."
He smiled and walked out the door, closing it carefully.
I sighed, hugging the sheet as a large smiled spread over my face.
"I know I'm not exactly Freud, but it's pretty clear to me you and Flag are closer than you let on." Ellis sat on freshly made bed as I folded my fatigues.
I looked at her in the corner of my eye.
"You're afraid he's going to do an Elvis."
"What's an Elvis?" I asked jokingly.
Ellis sighed. "Forgetting what happened between you two."
I rolled my eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes I do. I know what I saw."
I went rigid. "Saw what?"
"Him leaving your barracks and trying to sneak to his office."
Crap.
"That- he needed stitches after he got back from the op."
"What op?" Ellis grinned. "Ohhh, that one. Accidental wound."
I frowned. "What are you talking about?"
Ellis fought back a smile. She liked Flag secretly, or she wouldn't bring it up every chance. "Hayes stabbed him with a broken beer bottle, I saw him. On our way back from green team scouting."
"You're not making sense, Nicole." I barked.
"There was no op," she giggled. "All of us went scouting for Kowalski's replacement."
There was no reason for me to get worked up. I didn't need to be mad at Flag - I would be angry enough for two when see him next.
"Why is it that everyone keeps me out of the loop? I'm on sabbatical, not retirement!"
Ellis flinched back and bit her lip. I could see that my words had hurt her, but I was too mad to feel bad about that yet.
"I'm telling you now," she muttered, his voice almost inaudible.
"So that explains the nose, then."
Ellis licked her lips and made herself comfortable, watching me as I folded just about everything I had. "Hayes and Flag had a fight. Flag won."
"W-why? And why wasn't I there?"
"Blackburn said it would be best if you weren't there. Kowalski can never be replaced, Trig."
I nodded slowly. Made sense, as me being there would be a conflict of interest. I would have said none of them were good enough. "So why were they fighting?"
Ellis rolled her eyes. "Hayes didn't like the way Flag was spending so much time with you,"
My eyebrows pinched. "He noticed."
"Flag has been watching you like a hawk since you got out of the hospital wing, and he was caught spying on you at the gym. I think Hayes has the hots for you. That's why they were fighting."
"Good. I hope they both got what they deserved." I mumbled. I would confront Flag about his deception later.
She frowned more deeply. "Too much testosterone in this team. Alpha Dogs are by far the worst for bar fights. Their endless bickering goes against nature."
I stared at her for a long moment with one eyebrow raised incredulously. It was a while before she noticed.
"What?"
"Speaking of unnatural . . . ," I hinted.
"Trig," she said, her voice slow and different. Aged. I realized that she sounded suddenly older than me - like a parent or a teacher. "I'm the General's niece, the guys take no notice of me. I'm not fair game like you are." she looked up at me, her black eyes unreadable - "I've been jealous of from day one, you get all the attention."
"Jealous," I repeated scathingly, rolling my eyes. "Right."
"It's embarrassing. You see, at first, I was mostly jealous because he wanted you and not me."
Her words sent a thrill of fear through me. Sitting there in the sunlight, she was more beautiful than any woman I could imagine. I could not compete with Nicole Ellis.
"He's irritated at me from the first moment he heard me speak. You have to understand, though . I was so used to people wanting me. And Flag wasn't the least bit interested. It frustrated me, even offended me in the beginning. But he never wanted anyone, so it didn't bother me long. And then he met you." She looked at me with confused eyes. I was only half paying attention.
I was thinking about Flag and all those men he lost, and my lips pressed together in a hard line.
"Not that you aren't pretty, Trig," she said, misreading my expression. "But it just meant that he found you more attractive than me. I'm vain enough that I minded.." She broke off, chuckling nervously. "So, if you are going to run off and abandon him, can you please let me know first? Because… I'd be all over that boy."
I laughed. She finally admitted her feelings for Flag. "I'll give you first dibs." I looked at her grin and sobered. She wasn't kidding. "I'm not running away, Nicole."
"You can't bullshit a bull-shitter, Trig. I know exactly what's going here, okay? I did a GC Doctorate in psychology."
Of course she did. She was head of the tactical team that gets us through the ops. And I think she enjoyed playing super sleuth. Ellis must've had a crush on Flag for some time before I came along. But did it hurt her to see him with someone else and not her?
"Look, would you mind buggering off so I finish my kit, please." I sighed. I wasn't one for girl talk.
"So are you going tonight? The team were made to wait for you to do it. We can do karaoke!" Her eyes lit up.
I shook my head firmly. "I don't do karaoke."
Her shoulders slumped in disappointment. "But you're going?"
"Yes," I barked.
She smiled widely. "Perfect. What are you going to wear?"
I looked at the fatigues I was in, and shrugged. "This, I guess."
"No! You have to look nice."
I groaned. "This is unfair I don't do nice."
"Make an effort, please?" She begged.
My eye rolled in surrender. "Fine. I'll see you soon. Now get out."
"So," I turned away from the white board, and looked at the team, who were scribbling in their notepads, standing over a practice dummy, used for CPR. Some of them had basic training, but Blackburn didn't want a repeat of Ghani's op. He suggested I teach them some more advanced medic care. Taylor, Perry, Spenser and Hayes looked at a little confused as I jammed the lid on the whiteboard marker.
"On the cry of 'man down' you get to the body as soon as you can, making sure of your own personal safety first." I looked at Taylor. "Why, Taylor?"
His jaw opened, but he still looked confused. "So I don't get shot at?"
Spenser chuckled.
"Because a dead medic is no use to their platoon." I answered. "So once they are safe, and you've done your fives and twenties, proceed to the casualty. Carry out your primary survey, CABC, yeah? " I looked at Hayes and Spenser, who nodded along with their understanding.
"Catastrophic bleed," I counted the points with my fingers as I scanned their faces. "Airway," another finger. "Breathing, and Circulation. So what do we do, Perry?" I looked at him, expecting a half decent answer. These men are the best in the world, they should be able to pick up basic guidelines.
Perry snapped up straight, clearing his throat and removing the pen from his mouth. "Yeah, um. Check the airways, and make sure-"
"Airway, Perry. Airway." I corrected.
"Airway," he repeated, embarrassed.
Hayes sniggered.
"Catastrophic bleed," I started again. "Airway, Breathing, Circulation." I looked out the window, and saw Flag walking by outside, purpose behind every stride. He was heading for the barracks. "Deformities, environment exposure. Perry, airway, now."
Perry stood up to the table, preparing to check the airway of the 'patient', as I turned to see where Flag was going. He had an important brief with top secret government official, and I didn't expect him back so soon.
He walked with his back as straight as an arrow, arms swinging mechanically by his side. He wasn't looking anywhere except ahead of him as he strode by.
I was completely defeated. I was also completely mortified that everyone else's eyes seemed to catch mine.
Disturbingly enough I caught some people, who luckily weren't in the team, looking me up and down.
I decided that if they were to continue this, I would have to to deal with them. The team were laughing to each other. Some had the indecency to actually point from across the room to laugh. I even saw Hayes' jaw drop and watched the food fall out of his mouth and onto the table.
"Ellis, what did you do to Trig?" Spenser laughed.
Ellis narrowed her eyes at him. "I made her dress nice. So enjoy it, because she'd probably never look like that again."
"Save me. Find me pants." I grumbled at Spenser as I passed him to the bar.
Taylor and Spenser laughed behind me, joking about how feminine the infamous tom-boy could look.
"Hey, mate!" I yelled at the bartender. "Can I get a beer, please?" I waited, and sighed, looking around the busy bar.
It wasn't until I turned to the left-all the way at the end of the bar, Perry and Flag were casually sipping their whiskey.
Flag's head lifted slowly, and he stopped, catching my stare. I gave him a quick smile and grabbed the beer bottle that was placed in front of me. I didn't care what it was, as long as I could move away from Flag's line of sight.
I leaned away from the bar sourly. What an asshole-lying douchebag. Yes. It is possible for that to be one term, in my vocabulary.
It seemed like he would be a hard person to hate. Flag was a nice guy, strung-out and a little miss understood, but still a good guy. Besides, I was pretty sure I was the reason for all that weird behaviour, so I couldn't really complain about it. Then again, I wasn't surprised that he went behind my back and went scouting.
Despite everything that Nicole had told me, despite how he was the one who rescued me after the explosion, how he tried to replace Kowalski without telling me...despite it all, I felt a fondness to Rick Flag that I couldn't place. I couldn't understand why I had been so excited about him the last few days.
Nicole skipped up to me, and wrapped her arms around me and pulled me through further away from the bar, I tried to nervously laugh it off but I could feel my face heating up with humiliation. "Look everybody, Trig is wearing lippy! Wait, wait for it..." Nicole quickly grabbed her cell phone and took a quick picture of me - I just know I blinked - before I could hide myself or make myself look at least a little bit out of the 'deer in the headlights' phase of the night.
I sat with the rest of the team, and grabbed one of several free shots on the table. I handed one to Nicole, who sat next to me.
"Don't make me drink without you and with him! He'll make me do the chicken dance naked or something-" I told Nicole, gesturing toward Hayes.
"Only your mind could come up with something so...plain." Hayes sneered mockingly. "That's your worst idea yet."
"No ideas," Flag said sternly, joining us. "Responsible drinking you two."
"Alrighty, Mr. Flag, sir!" Hayes saluted him lazily before he smiled and winked at me. "This kid couldn't keep up with me anyway."
I noticed the tension between Flag and Hayes now- they were extremely poor at covering up last night's event. I almost wished Ellis didn't tell me anything, but still glad she did. Now I truly saw the bigger picture.
Flag was glaring down at Hayes as though he didn't approve of his existence at all, and Hayes was blatantly trying to ignore him-or piss him off, I couldn't tell which.
Taylor and Perry were eyeing up the two uneasily.
I narrowed my eyes. "Bullshit."
"Don't take the bait, Jaz. He runs at one hundred degrees, he has like an eighty-five percent advantage or something like that. Please, be good." With that, Flag walked through the crowd with a stern step and purpose in whichever direction he was headed.
Nicole leaned in my ear. "Did Flag just get social? I'm surprised he's even here."
I ignored her question, looking to Hayes with narrowed eyes, but he seemed completely content with the situation. Which was just like a typical Hayes would be.
"Eighty-five percent advantage," he repeated with a smirk.
"Or something like that." I added, raising an eyebrow. "Either way, it's enough to beat you." I grabbed another shot and took it as I glared over the paper cup. "It's amazing how I'll still end up beating y'ah,"
"You're going to get me in trouble with my superior, you know." Hayes said while crossing his arms.
"You chicken?"
"Nope, I'm an Alpha Dog." He laughed at me. "I just was told that if I didn't behave, the Colonel would skin me. I don't want you to get me into shit."
Like he wasn't already, I thought.
I sighed, grabbing both of us a blue-filled paper cup and raised it in toast. "It's only if I lose."
Flag returned with a tray of whiskey shots, and set them down before us. "Alright, you girlies shut up."
We all took one glass, and held it up, anticipating a speech.
I was hoping Flag wouldn't make too much of a fuss about it, just make it short and sweet. But his solemn face suggested otherwise.
"Okay give me a second. I'm not one for speeches, but you know its never easy when we lose one of our own brothers. But you what, catching the guy that took him out, was the sweetest thing in a long time, right?" he looked right at me, raising his glass. "So here's to Mike Kowalski. Our fallen Alpha brother."
We all put our glasses to the middle and held them together.
"I got one thing to say," Blackburn added. "The best of us don't come home." He gave me a tight smile.
"To Kowalski." I said loudly.
"To Kowalski," the repeated in unison, downing their shot.
"Now remember, Kowalski used to say, 'when the drinkin' lamp is lit,'" I said.
"You should be too! Wooooh!" We all said together loudly, laughing and continuing our shots.
I chased down the shot with my beer, and decided on a refill. The jelly shots did nothing for me at all, what ever it was. I wandered slowly toward the bar, and Flag met me halfway, stepping rudely in front of me.
"You okay?" He asked.
I nodded. "Yip." I tried to dodge him, but he moved in my way again.
He put his hand on my arm, making me stop. "What's wrong? You're giving me the cold shoulder. Is it about last night?"
I bit my lip. "You lied to me, Flag."
"About what?" he croaked.
"You didn't go an op at all. You got into a fight with Hayes, and went scouting for Kowalski's replacement. Without me."
Flag rolled his eyes. "You weren't in a position to go, and I didn't want to upset you any more than you already were. I was trying to look out for you."
I sighed and snatched my arm from his grip. "I didn't ask you to."
"You don't need to be like that. I knew you wouldn't be happy with anyone we scouted, so it was best you were left out of it." He sounded like he was talking through his teeth and I scowled, walking away from him again.
"Jaz, please," he pulled my arm again, but let go as soon as I stopped.
I sighed and threw my head back impatiently.
"I don't know what I'm doing okay? I'm trying though." His eyes flickered to mine and I was surprised by the intensity behind them. They looked like they were on fire, some form of jade fire that made me look at him worriedly - was I doing something wrong? Was I so drunk that I was annoying him or making him angry?
Was I so drunk that I was doing something I didn't even realize I was doing something?
"Fine. I forgive you."
He flashed a crooked smile.
"But you need to tell me why Hayes punched you."
Flag didn't look like he was in the mood for a deep and meaningful. He simply steered me back to the table to the team, and winked. "Stay there."
"But my beer!" I shouted. Flag went into the crowd, grinning at me from over his shoulder. As he bumped into the people crowding the bar as he left.
"She's back," Taylor shouted. "I have a toast," He raised his beer, and slid me another one. Perry blew into his bottle, making a flute sound then took off his hat.
"To Chapman!" he droned.
"Oh, knock it off," I laughed.
"You saved my ass," Taylor argued.
I grinned. "Your ass is drunk."
"I'm not," Hayes replied, looking light-headed.
"And you're enabling."
Ellis giggled. "Trig," she tapped my shoulder politely. "Look," she pointed at the karaoke corner, and Flag was tapping the microphone.
I rolled my eyes and looked away, embarrassed. Oh no, he wasn't going to drag me up there was he?
"Uh-hem. This thing on?" He said into the microphone, and the entire bar fell silent.
Taylor wolf whistled, and several men at the front of the karaoke machine made loud comments about an overdue performance. Flag laughed at the cheering that followed his attention seeking question.
"I have a special treat for a friend of mine who's going through some serious stuff. Just want you to know, you're not alone. Alpha Dogs are here for you, always."
"Flag has a friend?' Someone shouted, and I burst into a laughter as well as the team behind me making snide comments.
"Oh no," Hayes buried his head in his hands unhappily.
"I would like to add, that we are proud to have Major Chapman back on duty, and we have missed you very much. We can all relax, knowing we will survive our next gun shot wound, and have our six covered." Flag raised his glass as the crowd laughed at his last joke.
My face blushed furiously,but my smile faded as I saw a glimpse of the evening news above the bar.
Breaking news flashing on the bottom of the screen, and carnage happening in a downtown city. A flaming giant had flicked the camera away. My eyes flickered down in time to see the beer bottle slip from my hand and shatter into ten thousand glass shards against the edge of the bar's tile floor.
I was perfectly still as the fragments bounced and skittered in every direction with an unmusical tinkling, all eyes on me in a second.
Flag's speech was cut off, as I stared at the shards on the floor, then back up to the tv. Flag must have seen the terror on my face as I watched the report replay the scene because he stopped talking.
The volume on the TV set went louder, and the crowd fell quiet.
It is a scene from a horror movie down here in Midway City, Some kind of non-human entity is attacking innocent people, killing thousands. Local police are on the scene, but it seems there is no hope, even for them. More information will come about this terrorist event as is comes through.
Flags panicked face struck me, and he dashed through the crowd as everyone hovered around the bar. "We're not moving."
Looking into his eyes was like looking out of a grave from the inside; I was buried in the terror and despair and agony of his gaze.
We all sobered suddenly, and most of the Delta Force soldiers were leaving the bar in a hurry.
For the first time tonight, I felt cold.
I barely heard the confirmation of my fears. I didn't need it. I already knew.
My eyes didn't blink, but it was as if a veil covered them; they became perfectly blank.
Only my mouth held on to my expression of horror.
"We need to get to Midway City." Perry was suddenly serious, as Flag joined the table as more people filed out, getting ready to deploy. We all knew it was coming. And the soldier's response to this kind of infraction was so automatic, it was already decided.
"No DEVGRU operators would be going out there." Flag replied.
"But we are going." I said, more of a statement than a question.
Nicole's eyes were wide with horror. "What's going on? What was that thing?"
Flag cleared his throat. "You're not going. Any of you."
"Oh, let me guess, we're not friends, you don't care about me. Something like that?" Hayes replied sarcastically rolling his eyes.
"See, this is what we soldiers do, we make neat little rows of friends wherever we go, and line up behind the cannon fodder and watch you die."
"We're friends?" Spenser asked in a small voice, almost happy about it.
"Don't get excited." Hayes snorted.
"Not really enough of us for cannon fodder," Perry grumbled.
I scoffed. "Do you really think you're going to beat this giant…thing all by yourself?"
"You have a lot to lose. I don't, so why won't you listen?" Flag's desperation came through his voice.
"Because you gave me my life back, and I have nothing else." I replied harshly.
Hayes and Ellis both looked at me then.
Flags face was still, but something flickered behind his eyes.
"Yeah, I want payback that thing is going to wipe out hundreds if not thousands of civilians." Taylor stood up from his seat and frowned. "This fight isn't just about you. We signed the same contract you did."
Spenser nodded. "I'm with Trig. We're going."
"You're not going to ground zero drunk. We wait for the call. Let Force Recon take care of it." Flag said coldly, glaring in Spenser's direction.
"Fine, we wait. 'Til then, I'm getting my kit ready." I turned to walk to the door a little too quickly just then, and lost my balance. Hayes caught me before I fell too far.
"Whoa, careful. Wouldn't want to count you out before we get to the LZ (Loading zone for choppers). You sure you're up for this?" Hayes looked at me concerned.
"I'm fine." I straightened and sighed.
The team began to file out, Ellis first. The bar was completely deserted, except a few of us inching toward the door and the bartender cleaning up the mess.
Hayes still had is hand on my bicep. "Come on Trig, I'll take you to your sleep out."
"Take your hands off her." Flag's voice was cold as ice, sharp as razors.
I turned, made wary by the tone of his voice. It was too cold, too careful. His face matched his voice, empty and hard.
"Flag," I started.
"She's tripping over her own feet," Hayes protested, not letting go. "Someone has to make sure she gets back in one piece."
I ripped my arm from Hayes. "Will you stop it? I'm not that drunk. I can take care of myself."
"Looks like you're letting Flag take care of you, Trig. Just because he's your boss, it doesn't mean you can't say no."
"What?" I asked, looking at Hayes. "What are you talking about?"
Hayes scoffed. "Oh please, like you don't know."
My eyes flicked to Flag, who seemed to have frozen and held his breath as he looked at me.
"What is this about, Hayes?" I demanded.
"You can't see it can you, Trig? Ever since Kowalski died, Flag has watching you, and going into the medical cabin to see you… a lot. So if you won't tell him to back the fuck off, I will." Hayes glared at Flag.
There was Taylor and Perry braced between him and Flag, but they did not seem aggressive to me. More like they were trying to prevent the fight.
And Spenser—gangly, twenty five-year-old Spenser—had his long arms around Hayes' body, and he was tugging him away. "C'mon, Dan. Let's go. We don't want a repeat of yesterday, do we?"
I rolled my eyes. "What if I don't want him to?" I replied sharply.
"What? You like him back?" Hayes barked, lunging toward Flag again, but Spenser pushed him back a few steps.
"Not again guys!" Taylor yelled. "Everyone back to barracks!"
"Now's good for me," Flag had his arms folded tight over his chest with his hands balled into fists.
I sighed. "I don't have to put up with this." I began to walk back to my bunker, but Hayes grabbed at me as I strode past. "Don't. I didn't need you to look out for me, Hayes! We're not friends." I yanked my arm back and walked away, Ellis followed.
"Touch her again and I'll kill you," Flag said, his voice so choked with rage that it was low as a whisper. His eyes, focused on Hayes, burned with fury.
Hayes was so bewildered with rage that Spenser was able to yank him a few feet farther back. "Don't do it, Dan. Walk away. C'mon."
I should be quarantined. But my idiocy would not ruin anything else tonight. I would put this away, shove it in a drawer and lock it up to deal with later.
There would be plenty of time to flagellate myself for this, and nothing I could do now would help. We were all stressed, and drunk. All would be forgotten tomorrow.
"Jaz!" Flag yelled from behind us, and Ellis stopped beside me. "Stay in the barracks tonight."
"Why?" my voice was not friendly.
He shrugged. "You're a part of the team, so you should be with the team. Besides, it'll be easier to make a quick exit if we get called out."
He made sense. "What about Hayes?" I looked over my shoulder at him as he and Spenser had a quiet conversation to themselves. Perry and Taylor weren't far behind us.
"I'll see you in the morning." Ellis waved and left us.
I shuddered from the cold outside. "I don't know-"
"It's an order, not a request. Bring your go bag." His eyes flicked to the small groups of Alpha Dogs behind us, probably checking to see if we were out of earshot. "I'm sorry, I didn't think this would happen so soon. I wanted to keep us a secret."
"Us?" I said sourly.
Flag nodded, a small smile creeping across his lips. "I thought that's what you wanted."
"I'm not doing this with you right now," my mind hadn't had much time to grasp the cold hard facts. Our team was falling apart and the world outside the base was falling into mayhem. "I'll get changed and head over." I agreed, and Flag waited outside the door of the cabin while I cleaned up and changed into my sweat pants and tank top that I usually slept in. I tied up my hair and wiped off the lipstick. I sighed at the mirror, thinking I didn't look like a Navy Seal at all.
I grabbed my go bag and headed toward the barracks. Flag accompanied me, and Hayes saw us. He didn't do anything, just stared.
"So what's that about anyway? No one is talking." I asked, pretending my earlier conversation with Ellis never happened.
Flag shrugged. "Hayes thinks he's in love with you."
"Ew." I scrunched up my nose, and Flag chuckled.
"I will call our new Alpha Dog first thing, get him out here."
I nodded. "Great idea."
Flag sighed. "Don't worry about Hayes. He won't try anything again."
I pushed up one eyebrow dubiously. "Really? After what he did to you yesterday?" I chuckled.
"Yeah. It wouldn't be fair if I beat him." He grinned.
"Fair is for dead men and losers." I mumbled, following Flag inside.
Flag chuckled, opening the door. "Get some sleep." He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and ducked into his own quarters. Each man had a divided section of the sleeping quarters. It was small, but no door. The beds were larger and probably more comfortable than in the medical cabin.
I dumped the go bag, and crawled onto the bed, my eyes closing before my head hit the pillow.