Donum Deae – Black Marble

*Splat*

"Oh you son of a bitch!"

"HA! Eat snow Rhapsodos..oh shit! No magic allowed yo!"

"I don't think so slum rat… this is war!" Sephiroth dived behind a fountain that sat in front of the Malfoy manor. He had to admit this is the most fun he had had in almost all his life, well if you don't count the SOLDIER Turk prank wars back in Shinra, NOTHING could beat that out!

Packing a snowball he crawled along the snow around the fountain his eyes picking up the flying snowballs soaring over his head. It had turned into a full out war that was a free for all; granted everyone tended to stay with their own groups but even they would turn against the other.

Ducking one aimed for his head from the damn puppy Sephiroth cocked back launching his snowball with all his strength right for the back of Genesis head.

Aiming a decent sized snowball right for the slum rat he squeaked feeling something very cold and very wet connect with the back of his head and slip down into the collar of his jacket. Dropping his snow ball Genesis started to dance around trying desperately to get the snow out.

Whirling around those ice blue eyes searching for the culprit, seeing only one person behind him he smirked evilly. Scooping up a huge amount of snow Genesis packed it and with all his SOLDIER strength hucked it across the front gardens nailing Rufus right in the head.

Startled Rufus fell onto his ass; growling he pushed the snow from his face, sapphire blue eyes narrowed in a dangerous glare. Snickering like hell behind the fountain Sephiroth watched as the snowball war rocketed to a whole new level. Oh he really should have been a Turk instead of SOLDER.

Keeping behind the fountain he waited until everyone's attention was on something else before flinging the next snowball right for the Director. Ducking back down he smirked hearing the surprised yell from the Wutai man followed by the shocked yip of a certain puppy as Tseng retaliated to who he thought tossed the snow ball. Sometimes he had to wonder about these men, it seemed like none of them noticed he wasn't standing anywhere around them.

Hearing it go quiet Sephiroth slowly sat up the only thing you could see above the fountain was his silver hair (which had returned to laying flat as it was soaked) and mako green eyes. Blinking he sat up a little farther seeing everyone was gone.

Feeling the hair rise on the back of his neck he looked back just in time to get a face full of snow as several different snowballs nailed him.

"Sneaky ass bastard." Reno laughed puffing on his newest cigarette. Laughing Sephiroth pushed the snow from his face giving them all a smug smile, "it was really too easy to get you lot to gang up on each other."

"You are going to regret that General.." Tseng tossed a snowball up into the air a smile playing on his lips. Swallowing nervously Sephiroth started to back up in the snow, he knew that look and knew it very well; if Tseng smiled..you were a dead man.

"Run.."

Not needing to be told twice Sephiroth stood up bolting for the gardens Tseng only steps behind him along with Genesis and Zack.

Shivering Rufus rubbed his arms, he was only slightly enhanced basically enough to save his ass if he got in trouble. He wasn't walking mako heaters like the three SOLDIER and Tseng; those four men had enough mako in their bodies they almost never had to wear jackets. He honestly didn't see how they could wear the heavy Kevlar jackets and leather that they did every day, let alone battle in them!

"Come on Rufus let's get you back inside, you know the others will be back in soon." Setting a hand on Rufus shoulder Reno gently steered him back into the house. "Reno you don't need to do this..You're not my Turk anymore."

"I may not be your Turk anymore, but I am your lover.."

Moving into the drawing room Rufus froze his sapphire eyes going wide as he saw the chairs had been carelessly shoved to the side of the room and a long black wood table had been placed in the center of the room.

"Uh.. Rufus.. what's going on yo?"

"Death Eater meeting!" Rufus turned horrified eyes on Reno, there was no meeting for today it must have been an emergency meeting which meant.

"oh fuck yo! Snake face and all?" Rufus nodded going slightly pale, normally this wouldn't have been a bad thing but not only did he have two Weasley's here he also had the bloody boy who lived!

Racing around the garden the group ran back up to the fountain but found themselves freezing as they saw several black robed figures walking up the drive from the iron gate.

"Sephiroth?" Genesis asked seeing his lover had gone completely stiff, his SOLDIER mask slamming into place. "Death Eaters.." Tseng said softly his own Turk mask up in place. "Come on.. " Zack gently grabbed Sephiroth's arm pulling him towards the house.

Racing up inside they were greeted by Rufus and Reno, "Rufus what the hell is going on?" Genesis demanded, they had stopped in the entrance hall of the house. He noted absently that Rufus was back in his normal white and black outfit that he always wore at Shinra showing he had changed; his shot gun resting in half gloved fingers.

"The Dark Lord called for a meeting, no one knew this was coming. We can't get out the floo network shuts down when he calls a meeting and the only way in or out is apperating outside the wards which is the front gate."

"So we're stuck here with Snake face and the very man he's trying to become?" Zack looked to Sephiroth seeing he was in full General mode, though a slow evil smile crossed over his lips. "No.. I think I have the perfect plan.. I think it's time we give Voldemort what he wants." cackling much like he had in Nibelheim Sephiroth turned heading up the stairs.

Sitting in the drawing room Rufus sat silently on the other side of his father, the meeting had been going on for some time now. He had thrown a black robe on over his white outfit to conceal it for the moment. His fingers absently playing with a small materia he had in his pocket, he really hoped this would work; he had to just wait for the right opportunity.

"Lucius.." beside him Lucius instantly went stiff his grey eyes coming to look at the wanna be snake at the head of the table. "Tell me Lucius, what is the status of obtaining the object I seek?" so Sephiroth was right, Voldemort didn't have the black materia yet.. perfect. Before Lucius could speak Rufus turned so he was looking at Voldemort, "we have it my Lord." Draco lowered his eyes and pulled the materia from his pocket.

Voldemort's eyes went wide as he watched the young Malfoy boy held up half gloves fingers, clutched between them was a black orb rolling with power. Lucius own eyes went wide seeing his son produce the very item he had been assigned to steal from the department of mysteries, looking at the item closer though he blinked; no this wasn't the item it was much too small to be the black materia that was sitting in the department of mysteries.

"Draco what are you doing?" Lucius hissed leaning in close to his son, Voldemort seemed to be frozen in shock where he sat. "Saving all of our asses.." Draco whispered back before turning back to Voldemort seeing him coming out of his shock. Raising his wand Voldemort summoned the materia to him, his fingers out stretched like he was receiving the most precious object in the world. "The black materia.. the source of all the one winged angel's power!" standing up Voldemort swept around the room clutching the materia like it was the most precious piece of glass in the world.

"This my friends, will ascend me to the status of a god! Dumbledore and the ministry will bow before us, and the muggles will tremble in fear as we destroy them all." The Death Eaters around them shouted happily, his aunt Bellatrix was bouncing where she sat; that damn blood lust of hers kicking into over drive. 'I bet she would jump him right now if she could.. oh god did I really just think that? That's almost as bad as thinking that my dad had to get it up to have me..oh god I did it again!' sometimes Rufus really hated his mind, he really did.

"My lord summon the great power let us bask in it!" Bellatrix was practically screeching as she continued to bounce. Voldemort actually smile and closing his eyes tapped into the magic he could feel flowing through the great black materia.

Power flared to life around him causing his robes to billow out around him, a brilliant arcane symbol glowed around the materia causing it to turn a brilliant shade of red, with a burst of power causing everyone to shield themselves the materia flared before returning to its dull black color.

Opening his eyes Voldemort looked at his servants, he didn't feel any different..no more power than what he already had. Lowering the materia he looked it over, there was no doubt that this was the black materia, he could feel the magic in it and there was only one in the world that was black..all the books said that.

"My Lord?"

"WARK!" nearly jumping out of his skin Voldemort whipped around wand raised at what had said that directly behind him. all his Death Eaters were on their feet wands drawn as well though they were looking no in pure horror.

A huge yellow bird stood before them with its head tilted to the side curiously, a pink white creature was sitting on its back. "Kuppo" Voldemort could only stare in shock at what he was seeing, had the famous black materia called forth this strange creature?

Rufus on the other hand had his hand to his mouth trying so hard not to start laughing. Sephiroth hadn't told them what materia he had stolen from Genesis to create the fake black materia. 'a choco/mog summon! He seriously gave him a fucking chocobo!' and the absolute look of confused horror on Voldemort's face was absolutely priceless. Ducking his head into his robe Rufus quickly wiped the tears that were building in his eyes away.

Brushing them away he quickly straightened up seeing the summon disappear as it had nothing to attack. He shrunk back though seeing the rage flash across Voldemort's face as he threw the materia as hard as he could across the room. "No! there has to be more than one black materia in the world..The Nightmare was said to have nearly destroyed the world with it. Draco." Draco shrank back even more, people were always placed under curses when the Dark Lord was angry. "Was that the only one?" quickly Draco nodded, "yes my Lord, there was no others in all the department, I checked everywhere before father came and got me.."

Getting his anger under control Voldemort returned to his seat, red eyes glinting in anger. "It must have been discovered somehow that I wish to obtain this item, and it was moved and dummy left in its place. Lucius go back to the department and search again, see if the item I seek has been returned."

Lucius nodded sending his son a look, he was honestly afraid for his life now. "And Draco..Cruico"

AN: sorry for the short chapter, my had is still bugging me and this chapter was fighting me the entire time. but people were saying there was to much drama and not enough pranking..so.. pranking Voldemoart.. SOLDIER style. to bad Rufus got the brunt of it.

so there you all go.. humor! so be nice and review and i'll have the next chapter up tomorrow.. and then return to Hogwarts where the real pranking will begin.. Turk style.