Hey guys, Ethan here again. Thanks to the overwhelming positive reception to Chapter 1 – and by overwhelming I mean one review, which is one more than I was expecting to get – I have decided to write another chapter to this parody fic. It's meant to be absurd and just a test of what my twisted mind can craft. But it's worth a shot.

Here I am again, on the same amount of Ritalin that I was when writing the last chapter. Wish me luck.

Peter POV

"It's okay, Mr. Parker. He can't hurt you any more." Matt Murdock reassured the teenaged boy from across the table in the deposition room. Peter's head seemed to droop even more upon hearing this.

"Peter… that's meant to be a good thing."

"I wanted him to hurt me! I wanted him to tingle my Spidey senses and make me shoot my webs by giving me the Iron Fist." Peter said wistfully.

"Did somebody say Iron Fist?" Some curly headed fuck ducked into the room, almost as if on cue.

"Not you, Danny! You got cancelled, now let's keep it that way." The curly headed fuck exited the deposition room.

"Will I ever see Tony again?" Matt couldn't see Parker's face right now, but he could swear the young boy seemed on the verge of tears.

"I'm sure eventually some writer's gonna bring him back in a desperate attempt to bring sales up that month. But it may be a while. You'll probably even be legal by then." It was Peter Parker's turn to vomit as he imagined the disgusting thought of entering into a relationship that was actually within the law. Matt gave up at this point.

"Hey, I've gotta go tell a fat bald guy that I beat him, but I hope you start feeling better. Foggy will drive you home. See you round, kid!"

"No you won't!" Peter replied as Matt Murdock bumped into three doorways on his way out.

Peter Parker was still a nervous wreck. He wondered where Mr. Stark was right now. God, he hoped he was doing okay…

Tony POV

The Prison of Bad Comic Book decisions was built in the early to mid 20th Century, when some radical SJW libtard somewhere decided that it wasn't okay for Tintin to bring caricatured slaves from the Congo on his adventures. In the decades since, the prison had expanded to include all sorts of bad writing decisions, from incestuous mutants to love interests dying because the hero was too quippy to acknowledge the fragility of the human spine. Hank Pym seemed to be trapped in some endless loop of beating his wife on repeat, and Secret Empire Captain America wouldn't stop hailing HYDRA. It was a shitshow.

And in the thick of it all was poor little innocent Tony Stark, guilty of nothing but kidnapping, grooming and attempting to fuck an underage child. Surely he didn't belong here with these savages.

Tony had at first insisted that he was framed, but the guards kept making the same damn joke over and over again.

You're comic book characters, of course you've been framed!

Ha ha ha. If Stark's OOC mind hadn't been warped with heinous thoughts of kid-fuckery, he'd probably quip right now.

The prison bell sounded and his cell door opened, as did every other cell door in the prison block. It was time for lunch, followed by canon conversion therapy at 5. That is, if Tony survived that long.

This particular iteration of Tony Stark had been in a lot of perverted fanfictions. He knew plenty about having his cavities thrashed about, but that didn't mean he had to enjoy it. Of course, he usually did, but that was when the writer was some weird lonely LGBT girl who liked writing about male comic characters ramming each other profusely. This time, Tony felt like there were new forces at work in writing his story, forces that actually were sane for once.

Oh boy was he wrong.

He took his tray of prison food (which only looked marginally more appealing than the container it was placed in) and abruptly sat down at a conveniently empty cafeteria table. Of course, if Deadpool 2, Suits Season 6, Shawshank Redemption, Ender's Game, Guardians of the Galaxy or basically any other work of fiction involving an empty lunch table had taught him anything, Tony calculated that his table wasn't going to stay empty for long. Some new expendable escape character was about to come and introduce themselves in a hostile way.

What Tony didn't calculate for, however, was how quickly these new characters would introduce themselves. In a literal instant, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch appeared to be sitting down at his table, incesting incestuously while Stark grew more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

"So… you're the new guy." Quicksilver said between bites of food.

"What're you in here for?" Scarlet Witch drawled.

"Aren't you meant to be fucking Vision?" Stark had trouble keeping up with all the conflicting continuities.

"Oh, Quicksilver deleted his System32 files cause he was jealous. He'll reboot eventually. Anyways, what did you do to get in here?"

"Oh, I confronted a young boy at his own home, took him into his own room and blackmailed him until he shot his sticky webs all over me and agreed to go on a trip to Germany. First I lied to his Aunt about the nature of the trip, then I gave him a multi-million dollar piece of highly dangerous technology, made him fight the most wanted man in the world at the time. After that, I left him unattended while I went to go get assaulted by an 100 year old WW2 Vet. When I came back I took advantage of him in a hotel room, then left him hanging for weeks on end before coming to his house, lying to his Aunt yet again and flying him to my big empty mansion where I attempted to statutorily rape him. Then I tried to defend my actions in open court, failed and got sent here.

The two twins' mouths were wide open, either from shock or from whatever superspeed position they had tried while Stark was monologiuing.

"And that was all in the first chapter. When I get out of here, I'm gonna find a legal handbook, and I'm gonna violate every bylaw I can on that boy." Upon saying that heinously disgusting sentence, Tony Stark braced himself for yet another torrential wave of the author's vomit. But it never came. He was writing on an empty stomach because he knew this may happen. Tony had no other choice but to address the twins again.

"So, whaddya think?"

"I think nearly everything you've done throughout the course of this fic has been morally disgusting and legally even more disgusting." The twins said in twinny unison.

"In other words, you're perfect for our clique." Quicksilver's face lit up with a rare smile.

"Wait, really?"

"We're an incestuous comic couple born from a genocidal supremacist. What did you expect, well adjustment?" Sarcasm like this was totally rare in fanfiction.

"That's a good point. What do we do first?" Tony's mind instantly became a one-track, free from any distracting thoughts.

"We're gonna get out of here."

"Oh, thank god. How convenient!" Tony breathed a legitimate sigh of relief.

"Why? What's happening?"

"Oh, I've just gotta get myself back to Earth soon to make it home in time for Infinity War. If I don't, the Disney lawyers are gonna have my ass. And not in the way I enjoy. When I get fucked, I prefer it be done by minors with web shooters, not by Disney executives with their bylaws and contractual purity."

"That's fair. To each their own," Scarlet Witch remarked. "When I get fucked, I prefer it be administered by my brother." Yet again, the writer had no food to vomit up after writing these disgusting and sinful sentences. Can you believe people actually legitimately ship this stuff?

"Have you two heard of the sister twister fister?" Stark enquired.

"No, what's that?"

"Oh, it's an old Alabaman move. First you [CENSORED] and then you [CENSORED]". As he explained, the twins nodded along attentively.

Tony turned his back for a second, then turned around again. "Why don't you guys try it?"

"Oh, we just did. It was alright. Anyways, let's conveniently escape now."

And so they did. In a way that wasn't described by the author out of sheer laziness.

Then they got in a big spaceship and flew to New York.

Gay pedophilic infinity war time!

Peter Parker POV

It was time to get on the bus to go to a museum or some shit,