Disclaimer: I do not own Hary Potter.

The students of Hogwarts all gathered in their common rooms the moment hundreds of owls were spotted flying above Hogwarts with the just see able in their clutches.

Dear Students,

Haven't you all been busy being annoying and causing mayhem lately.

70. Anything Fred and George think is a good idea will probably result in detention.

Actually everything the twins think is good enough will result in detention.

71. Not allowed to ask Professor Snape to,

"Sing you a lullaby"

"Buy you a pony"

"To hug you because you had nightmare about fish"

Severus demand I make these rules.

72. Harry Potter is not allowed to put Lord Voldemort down as his emergency contact.

72a. No student is to put Lord Voldemort down as their emergency contact.

I don't know why anybody would want Voldemort as an emergency contact.

73. There is no bring a Muggle to Hogwarts day.

74. Not allowed to leave class early because you have to feed your pet crocodile.

74a. Not allowed to have a pet crocodile.

I don't even know how a student was able to get a full grown crocodile in Hogwarts without gaining someones attention.

75. Not allowed to write to the ministry requesting you be made a God.

76. You cannot break into any professor's room to leave them a gift of dragon dung.

I had five members of staff coming to me moaning about the smell because of a certain group of students' gift.

77. Stop Planning my funeral immediately.

I'm not dead yet and I hope I'm not for along time.

78. Ron Weasley did not invent fire and he must stop claiming he did.

79. You cannot tell first years that at the end of the year the student with the lowest grade is sacrificed to the Giant Squid.

I really wish the older students were kinder to the younger students.

80. Not allowed to threaten to burn down the library to get Hermione Granger or the Ravenclaws to do what you want.

If anybody burns down the library they're expelled.

81. Not allowed to write the Weasleys or the Malfoys telling them that Draco and Ginny are getting married.

I had to listen to Molly Weasley shouting for three hours.

82. You cannot leave class to buy a hat.

82a. You cannot leave class because you left the cooker on in your dorm room.

82b. Not allowed to have a cooker in your dorm room.

82c. You cannot leave class because you find it boring and you want to help the Weasley twins break into my office.

Just stop leaving class without a good reason.

83. Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall are not secretly in love, and want students to stop saying they are.

Your imagination disturbs me at times.

84. Professor Sprout doesn't want to buy a puppy that can breath fire through its nose.

84a. There is no such thing as a puppy or dog that can breath fire through its nose.

85. "I love you" is not the correct response when caught trying to smuggle a Rhino into Hogwarts.

I don't know where Lee Jordan got that Rhino.

Sincerely Albus Dumbledore

A massive Thank-you to my readers and reviewers.