"What are you doing here?" I asked sourly.

He smiled. "Nice to see you too, Jaz. How have you been? Oh that's right, you were almost blown up, near killed in the streets of Midway City, and, held as a Prisoner of War since I saw you last. I'm glad we cleared that up." Andy's glare was vicious. I'd never seen him look at anyone like that, least of all, me. It hurt with a surprising intensity- a physical pain, stabbing my head.

"Yeah, I'm directly in the line of fire, it's the job. You know the risks we take." I replied heartlessly.

Andy's glare was malevolent. "What was Iran about?" he crossed his arms.

"Well…." I started.

"Stop right there. I feel like there's a part of you I'm not allowed to see anymore. Ever since you joined the Tier Ones, all you have done is get yourself into trouble. And Kowalski-" Andy fought back the tears as his voice wavered.

I looked down at my hands, ashamed. It was my fault he was in the line of fire in the first place. "I made a stupid call, but Andy-this is my life. My job. And where were you when I need you, huh? Running around playing cops and robbers in Afghanistan. Where were you when Team Alpha saved the world and I was recovering from a gun-shot wound and blood poisoning? Where were you when I was-" I stopped and caught my breath, trying not to let my anger flare. "Andy, we were so close. We're Marines, we know what it means."

"No, you're top tier operative on the special forces. I'm a marine. Your values are reckless and you have no morality."

I took a deep breath. "What do I have to do to make you proud, Andy?"

"Quit. I want you to quit, Jaz. Before you kill yourself!" Andy shouted.

Thibault came jogging into the barracks, his face laced with concern and confusion. "What's going on?"

Andy threw up his hands in frustration. "Oh, great. You're taking her side. Why not? I mean you're on that goddamned team as well!"

Thibault grinned. "Andy? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

I sat on the desk and looked at Thibault. "Andy's trying to play Dad."

Thibault frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He wants me to quit. Probably make a living stacking shelves or something." I rolled my eyes.

Andy sighed. "That's not what I meant."

"Andy, you can't ask me to leave the only thing I know!" I yelled.

Thibault put his hands on his hips and looked at me, then Andy, and back at me again. "I don't understand what he's doing here. Andy, aren't you supposed to be on tour?"

"No," Andy snapped. "I'm not going to re-up. And I want to take my sister home."

Thibault chewed his lip. "Why?"

"Why?" Andy scoffed. "Have you forgotten? She was tortured and was going to be executed for the murder of one of the most famous drug-lords in Iran. She's my sister, and I'm going to take her home before she does whatever that bone-head Flag tells her to do that will cost her life! Every time I'm called back here to the hospital to see my sister with new holes in her, he is always there!" Andy was shouting at Thibault now, and I feared everyone in the hangar would hear his tantrum.

"Calm down," I begged.

Flag strode into the room, probably hearing his name. "What's going on here?"

We all turned to look at him.

"You!" Andy growled. "It's your fault!"

"Whoa-can we not do this again?" Flag said, putting up his hands in protest.

"You just can't help it can you? You see an innocent woman and take advantage. I know people like you." Andy stood in front of him, seemingly short in comparison to Flag's towering height.

"There aren't any people like me." Flag sneered. "Andy," his voice still quiet and even. "I don't want any fighting, do you understand? It's over." Flag looked only at Andy when he spoke. "I can go put my cap on if that makes my request more official." Flag's stance was casual, his arms folded across his chest, but the muscles in his jaw were tight.

"That won't be necessary," Andy said in a restrained tone.

"You need to leave, now." I said firmly, standing up.

Andy whirled around glared at me. "You aren't working for this idiot anymore. You're coming home."

I turned away from him childishly. "This is my home."

"Not anymore it isn't." Andy said with a thick edge of annoyance, his long fingers wrapping around my arm tightly like tourniquets.

"Andy, take it easy," Thibault said, creeping up slowly. "Flag isn't going to hurt Trig, he loves her, okay? So calm down."

Andy shook me. "Tell me you're joking!"

"Take your hands off her!" Flag's voice was cold. "You're forgetting who outranks who, here."

"Andy, bro, back away," I heard Thibault urge. "You're losing it."

Andy seemed frozen as he was, his horrified eyes wide and staring.

"You'll hurt her," Logan whispered. "Let her go."

"Now!" Flag snarled.

Andy scoffed. "Who do you think you are?"

Flag lifted his chin arrogantly and looked down on Andy, who tall-but still couldn't match Flag's 6ft 3. "Watch your tone. I'm your commanding officer."

"Our relationship is a bit more complicated than commander and soldier, sir." Andy's hands dropped to his sides, and the sudden gush of blood through my waiting veins was almost painful.

I pulled my arm back and then let it snap forward, punching him in the mouth with as much power as I could force out of my body.

There was a crunching sound.

I cringed, and let Flag pull me back.

Flag was tensed in front of me as I looked up at Andy in a rage.

"What's the matter with you?!" Andy was rubbing his jaw like they did in the movies. How pathetic. He turned back to Flag, who rolled his arms muscles and clenched his fists.

"I'll kill you," Andy said, his voice so choked with rage that it was low as a whisper.

His eyes, focused on Flag, burned with fury.

"Let me guess… this is a friendly warning?" Flag asked sarcastically.

"Safe to say we're passed the friendly part." Andy snarled.

"Andy, now's a good time to leave." Thibault put his massive hand against Andy's chest and shoved.

"Fine," Andy said, defeated. He wasn't going to win against three Seals. Then he turned back to Flag. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again - and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a missile falls out of the sky and hits her in the head - if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with one leg."

Flag rolled his eyes. "Can you keep that promise?"

"I'll certainly try."

"Who's going back?" I muttered.

Flag growled as if he hadn't heard me. "And if you ever grab her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised, his voice still gentle and velvet and deadly.

"What if she wants to?" Andy drawled, arrogant.

"Hah!" I snorted.

"If that's what she wants, then I won't object." Flag shrugged, untroubled. "You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language – but hey, it's your face."

"I'm just worried about what you will do to her that Iran already hasn't. So make your move."

Flag puffed his chest. "I know, because you were an operative, you think you understand a team like ours, you don't. The Omega teams aren't like any other special forces. We finesse. We manipulate. We bend the world to achieve our objective.
Why? Because we know we're the final option. You activate us, we get it done or we die trying. That's why our responsibility is so great. Who captured Ghani? Jaz did. Who executed Jarif? Jaz did. Who led Task Force X into a battle that saved the world? Jaz did.
You are seriously under estimating your own sister. She has saved your life so many times-I can't tell you when or how… but running your mouth and barging in here isn't going to change her mind. This isn't some colt, or religion. It's a call of duty. And you have no idea how valuable your sister is to this team.
She is the reason global warfare was avoided. People like you? You're cannon fodder. Your job, is to protect those who have no defence against the people trying to stop us doing our job. But guess what? We still stand by the people we love while doing it."

"Look, I don't want to cry here, but Jaz has been through a lot," Andy started.

"You're saying I can't do my job?" I blurted angrily.

"That's not what I'm trying to imply here," Andy replied.

I scoffed. "That's exactly what you are implying." I snapped.

"These barracks are high security clearance. I suggest you leave before the MP (Military Police) finds out you broke protocols." Thibault said finally.

Andy glared at me and folded his arms. "You're willing to die for these people?"

I nodded. "Yes."

Andy's eyes flicked at Flag, then back at me. "And him? You love him?"

I nodded again. "Yes."

Andy scoffed. "This is the man you didn't want to work for, remember? This is the man responsible for Kowalski, and you. And now you trust him? More than me?"

With the anger rippling through my body, I glared at Andy. "He wasn't responsible for Mike, I was! Mike took my flank to make sure Ghani didn't get away. It was my fault, so you can't blame Rick. And yes, I trust him with my life. He was the one who got me out of... Iran."

"So this is how you abandon us? … You up and joined Special Ops! You chose this dangerous…"

The blood drained from my face, Flag now knew that Andy knew what my job really was. My heart skipped beat. If I told anyone what I was really doing, I would be kicked from the team and the Corps wouldn't never be able to forgive.

"Leave now." Flag cut him off mid-sentence, and his face was abruptly frightening - truly frightening. For a second, he looked . . . dangerous.

He glared at Andy with vicious, unveiled loathing.

Andy raised his eyebrows, but made no other move.

They faced each other in silence for a long moment. More Seals gathered around us, watching.

I saw Dalton next to Craig - Dalton had one hand on Flag's shoulder, like he was holding him in place.

Flag held me tight to his side, angling his body so that he was still between me and Andy.

Andy's eyes flicked to Craig. "What the- Brian? You're on his side too? What's the fascination with these Top Tier teams, huh?"

Craig looked at the ground shyly.

Andy's eyes flashed back to Flag, dark and heavy. "Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?"

"She's tougher than you think," Flag said. "And she's been through worse."

Abruptly, Andy's expression shifted, and he was staring at Flag with an odd, speculative expression. His eyes narrowed like he was trying to do a difficult math problem in his head.

I felt Flag cringe. I glanced up at him, and his face was contorted in what could only be pain. For one ghastly moment, I was reminded of Iran, in the slaughterhouse being tortured.

The memory snapped me out of my near hysteria and put everything in perspective. Because I'd rather Jarif's henchmen killed me a hundred times over than watch Flag suffer without me again.

" You know in high school when you dream you're naked? It's like that right now." Taylor whispered to someone behind us.

"That's funny," Andy said, laughing as he watched Flag's face.

Flag winced, but smoothed his expression with a little effort. He couldn't quite hide the agony in his eyes.

I glanced, wide-eyed, from Flag's grimace to Andy's sneer.

"Overprotective, isn't he?" Andy said, talking just to me.

Flag glowered, and his lips pulled back from his teeth ever so slightly.

"Shut up, Andy," I said.

He laughed. "That sounds like a yes. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage."

This news distracted me. "You were supposed to sell that. You promised Dad you would." If I hadn't begged on Andy's behalf - after all, he'd put weeks of labour into both

motorcycles, and he deserved some kind of payback - Dad would have thrown my bike in a Dumpster. And possibly set that Dumpster on fire.

"Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back." A tiny hint of the smile I remembered was suddenly playing around the edges of his lips.

"Andy . . ."

He leaned forward, his face earnest now, the bitter sarcasm fading. "I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be close again. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me." Andy dropped the antagonistic façade completely. It was like he'd forgotten Flag was there, or at least he was determined to act that way. "I miss you every day, Jaz. It's not the same without you."

"I know and I'm sorry, I just . . ."

He shook his head, and sighed. "I know. Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs family?" He grimaced, trying to cover the pain with a thin attempt at bravado.

Andy's suffering had always triggered my protective side. It was not entirely rational - Andy was hardly in need of any physical protection I could offer. But my arms, pinned beneath Flag's, yearned to reach out to him. To wrap around his big, warm waist in a silent promise of acceptance and comfort.

Flag's shielding arms had become restraints.

"Okay, get to work," a stern voice sounded behind us. "Move along, Mr. Craig."

"Go home, Andy," I whispered, anxious as soon as I recognized the Lieutenant General's voice.

Andy was from the USMC (United States Marine Corps) , but he might still get in trouble for trespassing or the equivalent. This was a Covert Operating Base.

Flag released me, taking just my hand and pulling me behind his body again.

Eric Blackburn pushed through the circle of spectators, his brows pressing down like ominous storm clouds over his small eyes.

"I mean it," he was threatening. "Grounding for anyone who's still standing here when I turn around again."

The audience melted away before he was finished with his sentence.

"Ah, Colonel. Do we have a problem here?"

"Not at all, Sir. We were just on our way to the medical wing."

"Excellent. I don't seem to recognize your friend." Blackburn turned his glower on Andy. "Are you a new Seal here?" his eyes scrutinized him, and I could see that he'd come to the same conclusion everyone else had: dangerous. A troublemaker.

"Nope," Andy answered, half a smirk on his broad lips.

"Then I suggest you remove yourself from Special Forces property at once, young man, before I call the Military Police."

Andy's little smirk became a full-blown grin. This grin was too bitter, too full of mocking to satisfy me. This wasn't the smile I'd been waiting to see.

Andy said, "Yes, sir," and snapped a military salute before he climbed on his bike and kicked it to a start right there outside the barracks. The engine snarled and then the tires squealed as he spun it sharply around. In a matter of seconds, Andy raced out of sight.

Blackburn gnashed his teeth together while he watched the performance.

"Mr. Flag, I expect you to ask your friend to refrain from trespassing again."

"He's no friend of mine, Sir, but I'll pass along the warning."

Blackburn pursed his lips. Flag's spotless record was clearly a factor in Blackburn's assessment of the incident. "I see. If you're worried about any trouble, I'd be

happy to -"

"There's nothing to worry about, Eric There won't be any trouble."

"I hope that's correct. Well, then. On to work. You, too, Miss Chapman."

Flag nodded, and pulled me quickly along toward the Medic building.

"It's all right now, Jaz." Flag murmured.

"Rick, I'm so sorry. I was stupid—"

"You did nothing wrong—"

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I… I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

"Don't worry."

Then, as I thought about it, I realized the confrontation that had seemed so catastrophic to me had, in reality, been very quiet and short here in the barracks.

"Give me two seconds," I pleaded.

My insides were chaotic with panic and grief, but that didn't matter—only the outside mattered right now.

Putting on a good show was something I knew I had to master.

"How do you feel?" Flag asked as we walked away.

"Irritated."

He chuckled. "I meant your hand."

I shrugged. "I've had worse."

"True," he agreed, and frowned.

"Thanks for sticking up for me back there," I began, sounding like the gratitude was forced.

Flag nodded, a minuscule smile appearing on his stern face. "I do that I do."

"And what you said about standing by the people you love? I don't really have anyone that stands by me like that, and I don't mean just on the field, but in life. Just you."

"You know," he paused, and appeared to be chewing his lip in thought. "I wanted to discuss with you-something I wanted to ask, actually. But we don't seem to have much time to ourselves, do we?"

My heart stopped beating.

He gauged my expression for a second. His eyes were cautious–he spoke slowly. "What would you think about moving in with me? 'cause I got to say, I've thought about it a lot, and while you were in Iran, I went crazy not being able to see you, not being able to be with you."

I stared at him, waiting… "Okay. What's the punch line?"

He sighed. "You're wounding my ego, Jaz. I just asked you to move in, and you think it's a joke."

"Rick, please be serious. Aren't you even worried that people think you're too old for me?"

"I'm thirty eight, not one hundred."

I looked away, out the dark window, trying to control the panic before it gave me away. "Look, moving out of the base isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know?"

He inhaled deeply. "Please don't tell me that you're afraid of the commitment," his voice was disbelieving, and I understood what he meant.

"That's not it exactly," I hedged. "I'm… afraid of taking the leap and it not working out."

He leaned toward me; his night-dark eyes melted and smouldered and shattered my concentration. "Please, Jaz?" he breathed.

I forgot how to breathe for a moment. When I recovered, I shook my head quickly, trying to clear my suddenly clouded mind.

"Would this have gone better if I'd had time to ask you properly? But I really don't want to wait. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that you and I are sort of a package deal already."

"Rick–"

"Think it over," he insisted. "Not that it matters. If you say yes, I don't need heaven."

The Silver Bullet wasn't exactly busy Thursday night. It was just Flag, Nicole, Thibault and I at the bar, sipping away on the most expensive whiskey the bar keep could muster.

We had been chatting idly, going over some new tech supplies which could be introduced to our arsenal.

It wasn't late- but the chill in the winter air whooshed through the door when it opened. In a common place like the DEVGRU bar, I didn't bother turning around.

That was until Ellis tugged on my jacket, and forced me to look.

It was Andy again, striding toward us with purpose in each step. He was frowning, deep in thought. His speculative expression stoked the flames of my smouldering anger at the same time that it worried me. But he was looking at someone other than me.

His eyes flashed to me for less than a second as he opened his mouth but his eyes were stuck on the Colonel. "Oh, I'm sorry, this a bad time?" His voice was disdainful.

I stared at his face, searching for any signs of the anger or remorse I feared.

I scoffed and snatched the half full bottle of whiskey from the counter. "Nope," my emotionless voice was cracking, showing the anger through it. I tried to erase the anger from my system entirely, but it was hard, knowing that Andy was so set on starting a fight with Flag. And without another word, I turned on my heels and strode to a booth on the other side of the room. I looked at Nicole, to be sure she left, too. It wasn't my fight anymore, and I was sure the problem was no longer me.

"Why are you here?" Flag demanded as Ellis and I sat down, backs to the bar but still in earshot.

"Because I'm her brother. Because you are too close, and it will tear her apart." Andy replied, his voice firm but it had softened since earlier this week. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt, since daring to anger the Colonel just to check up on me. "Kowalski, Jaz. They were close. After he went down she came apart at the seams. She believed, she was responsible so she convinced herself she didn't deserve to survive.

I know what you are."

Flag didn't remained silent, but I heard the tap of his glass hitting the counter.

"I know that men and women in harm's way grow closer." Andy sighed heavily. "Promise to treat her with decency and fairness. And whatever this insanity is in Iran; you keep her well away from it."

"What is my word to you?" Flag croaked in an unwavering tone.

"Then I'll make my own promise. Hurt her, and I'll kill you." Andy spoke again with firm conviction.

Flag scoffed. "You think you can keep that"

"I do. You will take care of Jaz. Or you will answer to me." Every word was layered with command, but it couldn't touch Flag. Alpha blood ran undiluted in his veins.

"She doesn't need me to save her. She-is-an-elite-operative." Flag said, making each word clear. "She doesn't need me to hold her hand, okay? The Jaz I know doesn't flinch, she's stone cold badass and makes even me look bad." Flag paused. "To tell you the truth, any other commanding officer but me couldn't handle her, even if she came with instructions."

Flag and Andy chuckled in agreement.

Ellis looked at me with a huge grin, clenching her teeth together in excitement. "Did you hear that?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Nope." I lied, emptying the contents of my glass into my mouth and pouring another. I wasn't one for compliments, but my heart warmed up when Flag's smooth voice made it sound like I was some kind of hero.

"Yeah, I've been told this. It doesn't change my mind, because she is still my sister." Andy replied.

"Are we done here?" Flag sighed impatiently.

Andy went quiet. "Yeah. I guess so. Remember what I said, okay? Take care of her."

What surprised me the most about all this, was the fact Flag hadn't egged Andy on to start a fight this time. He had made it through the conversation without decking anyone, so I'd say his people skills were improving.

The primitive core of my soldier-self tensed for the battle of supremacy.

I focused all my energy to control that reaction. I would not fall into a pointless,

destructive fight with Andy. He was my brother still, even though I was rejecting him.

"Trig, aren't you interested in what they're saying at all? Because I can hear them perfectly."

I remained unmoved, except for my eyes, which were peering up at Ellis through my brows. Once I was convinced everyone was on the same page, I slammed the glass on the table and got up, grabbing my jacket from the chair beside me.

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe I'm hoping Rick'll get irritated and rip Andy's head off," I suggested.

Ellis snorted. "What's going on? Are you two keeping secrets from me?" she demanded, incredulous.

"I'll explain later," I said self-consciously—but I didn't really plan on it.

I loved Andy insanely, of course. But now that I'd had a chance to realize that he was

really home, that his defection was only a ruse because he had to believe that

I'd abandoned him. I was beginning to feel pretty irritated with Andy. He had some

explaining to do.

Flag sighed. "Just get it off your chest, Andy."

"Where are you going?" Ellis snapped, most likely upset with me.

"I'm going to bed." I flexed my hand to make sure it was still operational since I had punched Andy in the face with a few days ago. Just to make sure it still worked in case he tried something again.

I headed straight for the door, ignoring Andy completely.

But, he had a different idea. He turned in his seat and sniffed. "Jaz, I'm sorry." The apology was sincere, no doubt about it, though there was still an angry twist to his features.

"Why did you come here? I don't want apologies from you, Andy."

"I know," he whispered. "But I couldn't leave things the way I did before. That was

horrible. I'm sorry."

I shook my head wearily. "I don't understand."

"I know. I want to explain–" He broke off suddenly, his mouth open, almost like something

had cut off his air. Then he sucked in a deep breath. "But I can't explain," he said, still angry.

"I wish I could." He paused. "Hey, we're cool, right?"

I hesitated in the open doorway, not sure what to do now. It was better right there, with a

little bit of breathable air blowing in from outside. "Yeah, we're cool, it's just my personality."

"I'm glad. I haven't slept, knowing we were fighting. But for what it's worth, I was just angry that you kept a secret like this from me."

I hoped my expression didn't look guilty.

"Something you felt like you had to keep from our father?" he pressed. "Something you won't even talk about with me? Not even now?"

I felt my eyes tighten. I didn't answer his question, though I knew he would take that as a

confirmation.

"Can you understand that I might have questions about this kind of… situation?" He was struggling again, seeming to fight for the right words. "Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it's not your secret to tell."

So, I couldn't argue with that. He was exactly right–I had a secret that wasn't mine to tell, yet a secret I was legally bound to protect. A secret that, suddenly, he seemed to know all about.

"I don't know why you came here, Andy, if you were just going to give me riddles instead of answers."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "This is so frustrating."

We looked at each other for a long moment in the dark room, both our faces hopeless.

Ellis had stealthily moved up to the bar and took her seat to Thibault, who was trying pointlessly to ignore the situation completely.

Flag merely poured himself another whisky and sipped it quietly while keeping his eyes firmly Andy and I, only moving his eyes and the hand around his glass.

"The part that kills me," he said abruptly, "is that you moved on with this team and you treat them better than your own family."

"You need to understand, real quick." I started, but Andy cut me off.

"The army has changed since I started. Now it's all about covert ops, intel gathering, the CIA accomplishes half the time. It's a new world. I'm not sure what I add to it anymore."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Flag nod once, absently, not looking in my

direction.

"You don't know it, do you?" I asked. "You're knee deep in PTSD."

"That has nothing to do with anything." Andy growled

Flag grinned at Andy. Perhaps he had made the same diagnosis? "PTSD can hit you when you least expect it. But you can't deny it. It is about coping. You should talk to mental health, get the help you need before you do something else you regret."

"I hear you, Colonel." Andy mumbled. "Lima, Charlie." He turned back to me. "I'm just trying to protect you."

"Well," I piped. "The girl you're trying to protect doesn't exist, so give up, yeah?" I glared back at all three men who stared back at me. "And, since I don't have a penis, I don't see much point joining this pissing contest."

"Good. Now, if you don't mind, my team and I need to be going to bed. I suggest you do the same." Flag said to Andy, stern-eyed.

"Roger that," Andy confirmed, turning back to me as he rose from his seat. "Take care, Jaz, and don't forget the little people. But I ask one thing."

I waited.

"Don't change into another heartless operative." Andy begged.

As if I needed - or even had room for - one more thing to worry about.

I'd always known that I would be different. I hoped that I would be as strong as Flag said I would be. Strong and fast and, most of all, skillful. Someone who could stand amongst the Alpha Dogs and feel like she belonged there.

I'd been trying not to think too much about the other things that I would be.
Wild.

Bloodthirsty.
Maybe I would not be able to stop myself from killing people. Strangers, people who had never harmed me.

But, in truth, I could handle that part - because I trusted Flag, trusted him absolutely, to keep me from doing anything I would regret.

And I would do whatever it took to be a good person. A good Special Forces Operator. That thought would have made me giggle, if not for this new worry.

Because, if I really were somehow like that - like the nightmarish images of Seals that Andy had painted in my head - could I possibly be me? And if all I wanted was to kill people, what would happen to the things I wanted now?

Usually, it seemed kind of silly. There weren't many civilian experiences that I worried about missing.

As long as I got to be with Rick, what else could I ask for?

There was nothing in this world that I wanted more than him.

Would that, could that, change?

Was there a civilian experience that I was not willing to give up?

"You guys read the paper?" Thibault bit into an apple sloppily while holding the morning news up to his face.

Flag grunted. "Do I want to know?"

I shook my head. "Who cares? The media knows Tier Ones don't talk to reporters so whatever they made up is irrelevant."

Thibault nodded, still reading. "Nice photo though,"
"Just be glad you didn't have to go." I replied.
"Thank Fuck for that," he chuckled. "Hey, I heard Colonel offered you leave?"
"Guys," Craig came running into the barracks. "Oh, hey, Trig."
"You're up early," I accused, sipping a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, well, you know me, I'm a light sleeper. It's been a ages since our last op and I'm chomping at the bit. Thought I'd go for a run. It's not like we have been
required in Iran, Am I right?" He held up his hand to high five me.
"Hell yeah," I obliged, hitting his hand with what I thought was unnecessary force. But Craig didn't seem to notice.
Hayes came trudging in from the sleeping quarters. "What you doing up, Trig? You can't sleep?" he asked drowsily.

"I thought I was being quiet. Sorry." I replied weakly.
"No, it was Thibault swearing that woke me up actually." Hayes stopped when he saw Craig and Taylor's faces. "Hey guys, you too?"
Taylor shrugged and threw his apple core at the bin, missing. "Dammit," he cursed.

Hayes sat at the table I was perched on, not caring about my complete lack of manners.

"There's no shame in taking him up on it, right? Flag's offer to let you rotate home early. I mean, what, we got four weeks left of this deployment anyway." Thibault continued.

I scoffed. "The last thing I want to do is go home."

"Yeah, well, if you're gonna stay, which warms my heart, can you guys please be quiet? You're making a racket out here, I'm trying to sleep." Dalton wandered in from the same door Hayes came from.

Thibault hooted. "That's rich, coming from you."

"What do you mean?"

Hayes and Thibault made the most horrible sounding snore noises that I couldn't help but laugh.

Dalton frowned. "I don't snore."

"Get out of here." Thibault laughed.

"How would you know either way?" Craig replied.

Dalton didn't look impressed. "I would know if I - Why are you all up?"

"Why are you up? " Hayes added.

"Well, believe it or not, people speaking approximately two feet from where I sleep makes quality rest a little bit difficult." Dalton sighed.

"Dude, really? You call sleep quality rest?." Hayes chuckled.

"No, seriously guys, just keep it down. You don't want to wake Flag up." Dalton mumbled.

"Oh, please." Thibault grunted.

"I've known Rick for at least a decade. That man will sleep through a jackhammer." Taylor joined in. "In fact, the only thing that'll wake him up is probably the…" Flag's phone pinged from the desk on the other side of the room.

Footsteps followed, and Flag walked in, dazed. He picked up the phone. "Go for Flag…. Oh don't worry about it." He wandered off, not looking at anyone.

"You mad he's back in charge, Trig?" Craig looked up from untying his sneakers.

I shook my head.

Craig threw his sneakers beside the door. "My personal opinion is, Flag has a completely new team. This one works as it is. Why break up something that's not broken?"

"I didn't ask for your opinion," I grunted.

"I say let Flag have the green team." Hayes added.

I sighed. "Take it up with Blackburn."

Hayes sniffed. "Flag is the rightful commander, not Trig. But I don't agree with his methods of selection."

"You wouldn't," Taylor chuckled.

Flag walked back in, silent. "Trig, got a minute?"

I put my cup down and slid off the table and followed Flag into the sleeping quarters. "What?"

"You used to be on Force Recon right?" He asked, his eyes looking down at me, but his chin still level. Why was he talking to me as the Colonel right now?

Something was wrong.

"Yeah…." I replied, confused. "Why?"

"They were deployed to Afghanistan a few days ago."

I nodded slowly. "So?"

"Force Recon ran into some…" he said slowly, then paused.

"Casualties? Did the helo crash or something?"

"We're still in the early stages of understanding the situation. But we gotta go. Now." His face was grim. "Blackburn needs a small irregular force out there ASAP."

"That's us." I nodded, grabbing my rook sack.

Flag put his hand against my shoulder and stopped me from walking out the door. "Brass hasn't cleared for duty yet."

"Brass hasn't, or you haven't?" I accused.

Flag stared at me seriously. "If you're trying to convince me that you're squared away by running your mouth, you're not helping your argument."

I sighed and backed away, seeing no way to reason with him. Flag always wins.

"Look, do I want you to come with us? Of course I do. But that's why we've got procedures in place, so that guys like me aren't making decisions that we're not qualified to make."

Thibault and Hayes stood in the door way, curious as to what all the shouting was. Taylor and Dalton weren't far behind. Hayes gave me a pitied look.

"Now, I put you in harm's way and you're not ready, something happens to you I'd never forgive myself."

I let out a sharp sigh. "For the record," I stared at him square in the eye as I turned to walk out of the barracks. "This blows." I threw my rook sack on my bunk with force and stormed out, bumping shoulders with Hayes.

"Come on Flag, at least let her go to the brief?" Taylor said lowly.
Flag sighed. "Taylor, its Force Recon. Do you really think she needs to get amped up for a mission she's not joining?"

Taylor fell silent and looked at me over his shoulder. "She needs to know, Flag. You can't keep her from it, she will find out anyway. Trig is like the terminator, she'll make sure she gets in."

Flag licked his lips and thought carefully. "Fine. Briefing only. But you make sure," he pointed at me. "Blackburn is aware she isn't deploying."

"Thank you all for coming at such short notice," Blackburn paced the situation room as he normally did. But this time, his face was the same as Flag's-devastated. "I know you're all wondering, so here it is." He looked at Nicole.

Nicole sighed. "Last night at approximately Oh-one-hundred hours local time, MARSOC (US Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command) Team Force Recon was on their second mission of the night. The follow on operation in the Khush Gumbad neighbourhood of Jalalabad. The target was a private residence. They breached the structure, made entry. Seconds later, there was an explosion."
We watched a night vision video of ten white figures entering a square building. There was a short period of relative quiet, then suddenly the night exploded with light for a few seconds.
The shell of the building was all that remained, surrounded by sparks from the fire.

"What are we talking about bodyguards with S-vests or the whole place just rigged?" I asked.

"Yeah, probably all that." Hayes added.

"Survivors? I asked."

"None that we know of." Nicole replied.

The air in my lungs escaped and I felt winded. The team I served with, gone. Davis, Smith, Norton... I stared for another minute, shocked. Neither one seemed to notice. I could feel something, panic maybe, building up in my chest.

Thibault let out a dismayed groan and threw back his head as if he didn't believe what he just heard.

"So you're telling me that all ten guys are dead?" Taylor asked.

Nicole nodded and took micro steps backward, expecting someone to explode in a fit of rage.
Thibault was already on the edge, and from I could tell, I wasn't going to hold it in much longer.

"The casualty notification teams are en-route."

"Dammit." Taylor muttered.

"Uh, the MARSOC squadron is now down a full team. Which, as you know, is an untenable situation." Blackburn said quietly. "To remedy it, Command has asked that any willing Seals are wheels up in two hours. Any tidying up on the personal front, now's the time to do it. We need you focused on mission."

So much had changed, and so abruptly. It made me feel a little bit dizzy, like I was standing on an edge, a precipice somewhere much too high.

I didn't want to think about that anymore.

I marched out of the room, holding my breath as long as I could-until I was alone. But I didn't get that far. No, I didn't even get across the hall. My fist launched at the wall.
The actual pain of the punch was left far behind on the surface of the wall and a sickening numbness raged through the muscles in my stomach. It was like someone sinking a grappling iron into my gut.
I should be used to this loss, the grief-after fourteen years in the corps I never cried over anyone's death except Kowalski. But this was an entire squadron. I heard someone come up behind me, and I blinked the glitch away. I stared down at my blood stained knuckles. I spun around looking upwards at a concerned Danny Hayes.
"We'll get them. I promise."
"I need to be on this op." I started, but Hayes cut me short.
"Flag made the call, Trig. It's for your own good. As soon as you get cleared you can join us. Alright? I will cover for you."

I shook my head. "You don't understand. Force Recon needs payback."

"I know they do, but the best option is to say here for now. As soon as you get the clear, Flag will have you in there. He gets it, okay. If you were him, you would do the same."

I scoffed. "You friends now?"

"No- not at all. We're both on your side. We want you back on the team. What other choices do we have if you haven't been squared away Trig?"
I grit my teeth and tried not to over react. Flag and the team were still in brief, and didn't need to worry about me. "Yeah. You better get back in there. I'll catch up with you before you go." I gave him a faux smile.
"You don't need to pretend," he said.
"I'm not pretending." I snapped.
He leaned his hand on the window ledge and glared at me in disbelief. "Trig, it's only me here. It's okay to angry or sad. You lost your friends."
I lifted my chin arrogantly. "Yeah I'm angry. I'm angry we lost ten good men, I'm angry I can't do anything about it and I'm angry I can't go and get the assholes that did this. You can't stand there and tell me it's okay." I wheeled around and made a beeline for the gym. If the Brass were determined to keep me off the op, I wanted to be really good shape in case they changed their mind.