Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
The students were once again gathered together to read their letters from the headmaster.
Each snorting at remembering how different rules came to exist.
Dear students,
I'm thinking of dyeing my beard and would like to know your thoughts on the matter.
86. Not allowed to skip detention because you found out that five hundred years ago a member of your family married a Malfoy.
It was five hundred years ago get over it.
87. Slapping someone with a fish will result in detention even if it is because you were defending my honor.
Don't get me wrong I was touched by the gesture, but I can't let students strike other students with a fish.
88. History of Magic is not the place to discuss who'd win in a fight, the Giant squid or Voldemort.
I don't know who'd win, but it'd be funny to watch.
89. Professor Snape demands students stop setting him up on blind dates.
I think he was fine with it until somebody set him up with a troll.
90. No student is to whine for a chocolate muffin in detention.
You're in detention to be punished not to eat chocolate muffins.
91. Offering me lemon drops will not make forget that you tried to kidnap Fawkes.
Phoenix's make awesome pets.
92. The following excuses are no longer accepted as to why you don't have your homework,
"A dragon ate it".
"I gave my homework to and she is refusing to return it".
"Professor Snape stole it"
"I have handed it in, but it is invisible which is why you can't see it".
"I used my homework to destroy Zombies".
"I didn't do my homework because I was buying a scarecrow"
"Hermione wouldn't do my homework for me"
"I was going to it, but my brother was kidnapped by a troll and I had to rescue him"
"My socks stole it and ran of my shoes".
"I burnt it in the name of world peace".
Just do your homework.
93. Not allowed to start sobbing in the middle of potions because you just remembered you've lost a sock.
Sob over your missing sock in your own time.
94. Professor McGonagall does not want you to leave potions to kill a spider.
Minerva is more than able to kill a spider herself.
95. No student is allowed to send the Dursleys threatening letters.
I know the Dursleys are gits, but I have a good reason for leaving Harry in their care.
96. Not allowed to get T-shirts printed up saying Let's go kick Voldemort's butt.
97. No student is allowed to act surprised that they have been given detention when they're caught breaking into Professor Sprouts private quarters to steal a quill.
I am certain that most of my students are insane.
98. No student is to start an essay with the title "A flying sausage vs Ninja mashed potatoes.
99. Not allowed to moan about that fact I won't let you have a dragon.
It is really annoying.
100. Building a fort in the Great Hall will not help destroy Voldemort.
If it did I would've built one ages ago.
Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.
A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.