Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

AN: 173, 174, belongs to Hermione Is My Role Model. 179, 180, 181, belongs to SkyeElf. 186, 187, 188, 189,190191 belongs to Lolerator. Also a massive Thank-you to my readers and reviewers.

Dear Students,

I had a chocolate muffin and tuna sandwich for lunch.

173. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - is allowed to dress up as the following people or creatures:-

Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, another Death Eater, Dolores Umbridge, Nagini, a Dementor or an Acromantula.

174. Friday 13th is not "Give Snape A Hug Day."

Professor Snape appreciates it, but would rather you didn't, as he is a teacher, and he feels it is innapropriate for a teacher and pupil to make such an intimate gesture towards each other.

He also says that he is not "in need of cheering up." He is not grumpy and sour, he just takes the world a lot more seriously than the average person

175. You cannot make yourself headmaster/headmistress.

175a. You cannot make your sock headmaster.

176. Not allowed to call any Professor or student a "Troll snogging, vomit brain".

One because it is insulting and two it sounds really stupid.

177. First years do not want to dress up as Oompa-Loompas and you are not allowed to force them.

I am sure I've spoken to you more than once over treating first years badly.

178. Not allowed to send Voldemort the number of a psychiatrist that can help him.

Because he doesn't want to get help so it is a complete waste of time.

179. Professor Flitwick is not an elf nor does he give away candy canes.

Also, I was under the assumption that we'd already settled this: I am not Santa!.

180. Miss Granger's cat is not an alien from space and Mr Weasley should stop trying to fling him back to the stars.

This is not a challenge.

181. Luna Lovegood is not the love child of Lucius Malfoy and you should stop insisting that she should 'let her father hear about this!'.

Luna is a lovely girl, there is no way Lucius Malfoy is her father.

182. Not allowed to hand in a potion essay that has just the word "Cat" written five hundred times.

I don't know a cat has to do with the properties of a sleeping draught.

183. You are all forbidden from reading fanfiction out loud.

I am still having nightmares.

184. Prefects are not power hungry future dark lords and you are not allowed to hit them in the face with a pillow.

You are not allowed to hit anybody with anything.

185. Professor Sprout is not going to house to collect your teddy bear no matter how much you whine.

185a. Not allowed to shriek in someones ear because Professor Sprout refused to collect your teddy bear.

186. No one is allowed to scream "THE EVIL RAINBOW UNITATOES ARE ATTACKING!"

Mainly because unitatoes do not exist. (By the way, a unitato is a potato with a unicorn horn XD)

187. No one is allowed to wear sparkly dresses in Potions. Or any class, for that matter.

Professor Snape wishes me to tell Ron Weasley that he is mentally scared for life.

188. No one is to capture Mrs Norris to force Mr Filch to dance "Gangnam Style" in the Great Hall. Or capture Mrs Norris for any reason, although seeing Filch in a Lycra suit was funny.

189. No one is allowed to charm Draco Malfoy's hair red and gold.

Because he will just go whining to daddy if you do.

190. There is no such thing as a "wear your pyjamas to school" day at Hogwarts.

Although, I am considering it.

191. No one is to play or sing the song in "Nyan Cat". As catchy as it is, the professors (Professor McGonagall in particular) happen to dislike it.

192. I am not leaving all my possessions to the Weasley twins when I die.

I really want people to stop going on about me dying.

193. Not allowed to leave school grounds to break into Malfoy to steal all the Malfoys spoons.

I was going to ask why anybody would want all the Malfoys spoons, but then I thought it was better for sanity not to bother.

194. Breaking into Professor Snape's quarters and stealing his bed will result in detention.

Even if you did plan to return once you had sown garlic into the mattress.

195. Chocolate sauce cannot destroy me so stop pouring it on me.

196. Not allowed to sing during detention.

196a. Not allowed to scream for your mum during detention.

196b. You cannot set fire to things to get out of detention.

196c. Not allowed to refuse to go to detention because you want to eat a sandwich.

Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.