Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

AN: 234, 235, 236 & 237 belongs to angelinatheangel. 241& 242 belongs to 03hermione1992. Also a massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.

Dear Students,

I am drinking a hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.

230. Hogwarts is not overrun with mutant rats that want to eat the flesh from your bones and you are to stop telling first years that there is.

If there ever is a time that Hogwarts becomes overrun with mutant rats then you can tell everybody about it.

231. Voldemort wants me to tell you to stop writing and asking him to kill Umbridge.

He sent me a very long and insulting letter.

233. Cockroaches and spiders are not a appropriate gift to send the Ministry of Magic.

234. Not allowed to put "having candle light dinner with Gorgons" as Facebook status.

allowed to have candle light dinners with Gorgons.

234b. Not allowed to have candle light dinners with any dangerous creature.

I'm worried how did you logged on to Facebook inside Hogwarts.

235. Not allowed to smuggle Playboy magazines inside the school.

236. Not allowed to tell the first years that there are Pokémon in Forbidden Island.

Pokémon don't exist at all.

237. "Let my daddy hear this" is not a good response to a detention and Draco Malfoy must stop that immediately.

Threatening the staff may result in expulsion.

238. Not allowed to throw a temper tantrum because I won't let you eat nothing, but candy.

238a. Not allowed to throw a temper tantrum at all.

Toddlers throw tantrums.

239. Professor Snape doesn't want a Teddy Bear that looks a lot like Harry Potter.

Just don't give Severus anything that resembles Harry Potter.

240. Stop handing out leaflets about Aliens invading through the toilet.

If aliens invaded I am pretty sure it wouldn't be through the toilet.

241. You are not allowed to tell Harry Potter that Voldemort has teamed up with Sauron and is in possession of the One Ring.

Harry didn't go to class for 3 days because he was terrified that Sauron's eye would spot him.

242. You are not allowed to tell Harry Potter that the house elves are planning to poison his food.

He didn't eat for 2 days.

Just stop telling Harry Potter that are going to happen to him. He's afraid enough as it is.

243. Peeves is not to be given a water gun or a paint gun.

Stop giving Peeves things.

244. No matter how much you dislike somebody you cannot attempt to strike them with an "Invisible rubber chicken".

Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.