Dreams
Castiel stood by Dean's bed. The hunter had been asleep for about two hours six minutes and fifty two seconds. He titled his head as he looked over the man. He looked so peaceful when he slept which was a rare look for Dean. Cas let out a small sigh; he had been keeping an eye over him since he went to sleep. If Cas was being honest Dean's frequent nightmares had him on edge. He just waited for the moment when he would wake up screaming and he would go in and comfort the other man. He looked at Dean's face he could see his eyes moving under his lids indicating the man was in REM sleep. Cas decided rather than watch him, which Dean always told him was creepy anyways he would get a book to read. He headed to his room and selected a book and made his way back. Dean was still undisturbed and Cas decided to read instead of watching Dean. If he were to wake up at least he was nearby.
Castiel kept track of the seconds which turned to minutes which became hours that Dean slept. This was a blessing and a curse of being an angel he could keep track of time easily as he felt each moment pass but it made time feel like it was passing at an impressively slow pace. He's internal clock informed him that Dean had been asleep now for five hours, forty minutes and ten seconds. He looked over at Dean and now that Cas thought about it he really hadn't seen Dean move much. He studied him and wondered if he should wake him up. He stood from his chair and leaned over Dean.
"Dean." He said barely above a whisper. No movement. "Dean?" Panic rose to his voice. Oh no what if he had died. Cas reached over to him and checked to see if he was breathing. Feeling a soft brush of air against his hand made him feel, he could have checked with his grace but he felt that was too impersonal for someone he cared for. Worry ate at him. Why wasn't Dean waking up? "Dean?" He called again. Worry was laced in his voice and frowned at how weak he sounded. He used to lead an army and he was about to have an emotional break down because one man wouldn't wake up. It's because you love him, he told himself. He gave Dean a slight shake and said. "Dean please wake up."
Dean didn't move. Didn't flinch, breathing didn't change, or anything. Cas felt panic rise up in his chest. His vessel's heart rate increased greatly, his fingers trembled and he looked at them this situation was causing a weird reaction to his vessel. "Dean please wake up." He's voice croaked. Suddenly Dean's phone rang causing the angel to jump. He reached over and picked it up and seen it was Sam calling.
"Sam," He started when he answered.
"Hey Cas I was hoping to get ahold of you and Dean,"
Cas cut him off. "Sam, Dean's asleep he will not wake up."
"He won't wake up what do you mean?"
"Mary gave him a counter curse that the British Men of Letters concocted, he got tired after that and wanted to sleep. I thought it was just the potion curing him but he's been asleep for so long. I can't get him to wake up." He's voice cracked on that last sentence and his hand shook again. Curse he's weakness he really needed to better control over his emotions.
"Calm down Cas," Sam started. Cas could hear Sam speak to someone he assumed was Mary then Sam spoke to him again. "Okay mom is going to call the R&D department and see about the counter curse. I got in touch with Rowena finally she is actually on her way to the Bunker. I'm going to call her and get right back with you."
"Okay Sam."
"And Cas just calm down and breathe he's going to be okay, okay?"
"I know Sam." He's voice cracked again and Sam reassured him everything would be okay. The line went dead and Cas looked back at Dean. Dean who hadn't moved at all during the conversation, Dean for all he knew was getting ready to die on him. "No." He said to himself clenching his fists. It wasn't fair they finally confessed to each other. Cas finally knew that Dean shared the same feelings he did. Cas bite his lip fighting the cry that was in the back of his throat threatening to come out. Was he cursed? Was this his punishment for going against Heaven, for all his other long transgressions? Could he not get one 'win' as Dean always said, was he destined to ruin everything he came into contract with? He let out a sob like cry.
"Dean please, don't die on me." He took his hand and squeezed it. "Dean please no." He started to cry. There was very few times he had ever cried he could almost count the times on one hand but this was the most painful thing he had experienced. Losing his grace and becoming human wasn't as painful as the thought that Dean would never wake up again.
The phone rang and he answered quickly.
"Okay Cas I have you on speaker," Sam started
"What should I do he's not waking up?" He cried. He's fingers trembled and he put the phone on speaker so he wouldn't drop it.
"Cas it's going to be okay." Mary assured him. Her soothing voice only slightly lessened his pain. "I contacted R&D they think that the witch must have known about the counter curse, they…"
Sam cut her off. "Cas you need to wake him up. Rowena said the spell is feeding off of Dean's dreams, he's thoughts everything. Rowena is about an hour out, the longer he sleeps the less there's a chance he'll wake up."
Cas looked back at his beloved Dean. Life without Dean just seemed unbearable. "I," He started. He bite his lip so hard it hurt. He had to think clearly couldn't let his emotions get in the way. "Sam I have an idea…"
"What is it Cas?"
"I can try to enter Dean's dreams and wake him up from there."
"Can you do that anymore?" Sam asked
Cas wondered. It had been a long time since he had done it. Partly because the Winchesters had taught him that entering their dreams was an invasion of privacy but also since he had lost he's grace and fell he's powers had taken a small hit. He already knew he couldn't time travel, he lost his wings but could he still enter Dean's dreams. He looked down at the man his heart ached he had to try. "I am not sure Sam. But I am going to try."
"Cas this sounds dangerous." Mary said.
"There is a small chance I could get stuck in his dream world." Cas said as he rolled up the sleeve to his shirt. He may not be wearing a dress shirt but it was still a habit he had gotten when he was about to do serious work.
"Cas maybe you should wait for Rowena." Sam said his voice was laced with worry.
"Sam the longer he sleeps the higher the chance is he can die. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he died while I waited on the witch." He sat the phone down. "I am going to do it. I need to be useful." He heard Sam yell something about him being useful as he hung up the phone. He reached to Dean's forehead, lightly stroked the man's hair. "If I don't make it I hope you understand that I did it for you, I love you." He kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and summoned up his grace it took a great deal of concentration to do this. He felt his grace protest like any good muscle it was weak from lack of use. He focused his mind and felt the world slip from around him.
Castiel could smell a sweet smell of flowers and water. He opened his eyes and found himself standing at a lake. For a brief second he thought he was in Heaven until he remembered this was Dean's dream. He's happy place. Some lake that Cas had never seen in person only in Dean's dreams. He looked around and seen Dean sitting at a dock fishing. Well at least Dean was having a pleasant dream.
He walked up to Dean. "Hello Dean," He started. Like any good conversation between them it didn't feel right without his greeting.
Dean turned and looked at him. He's eyes looked distant like he wasn't all there. "Hello yourself Cas."
"Dean," He laid his hand on his shoulder. "Dean you need to wake up."
"Wake up?" He looked at his hand and up at his face. "Why wake up? I like it here."
Cas tilted his head. He liked it here? "You like it here? Dean this is a,"
But Dean cut him off. "When I was a young kid Bobby used bring me and Sammy here to fish."
There was a brief flicker and Cas could see a younger version of the Winchesters and Bobby there fishing.
"I loved this place," Dean started. "Made me feel like I could have something like a normal life." He looked over at his younger self. "See how happy I was."
A brief flash of hurt went through Cas. "Are you not happy now?" Unspoken words of not happy with me hung in the air.
Dean looked at him and placed his hand on Cas's arm. "Different type of happy Cas."
He frowned. Why was human communication so difficult? He heard a scream and he took his eyes off of Dean and suddenly everything went black.
"You see what you did." A strange voice said
Cas looked around. He's grace flared to indicate there was danger nearby. He's eyes fell on a strange creature. It looked like a person but was surrounded by a shadow, and beside it was Dean tied up to a chair. "Dean!" He exclaimed
"Stupid Castiel wondering in here trying to save the damsel in distress." The creature mocked
Cas looked at it and frowned. Most likely this creature was a manifestation of the curse.
"He thinks about you a lot." The creature pointed at Dean. "There's a few pretty interesting dreams in here about you." It said with a sickening laugh. "Oh boy they were juicy. They are gone now. I usually start with the best dreams and work my way up. He doesn't have a lot of good ones. I left him the fishing one so I can feed on the others." The creature put its hands on the side of Dean's head causing Dean to moan in pain.
"Leave him alone!" Cas shouted
The creature looked at Cas and shook its head. "Deep down in there he's afraid of you, you know. Thinks you're going to kill him. I'm also curious and so is he how exactly are you two going to work as a couple, Mr. Angel."
Dean let out another cry and Cas sprang into action. "I said leave him alone." He charged at the creature with his blade. The creature dodged and Cas was near Dean. "Dean." He said
"Cas? Cas is that you?" He opened his eyes slightly he looked like he was in a fog.
"You need to wake up please."
Dean looked up at him and his head fell back to his chest.
"Dean!" Cas cried
"You are useless. That is what scares you isn't it?" The creature said.
Cas turned to look at it and but some space between the thing and Dean.
"See Castiel, as long as you're in here with me and Dean I can see your dreams and nightmares."
"I am an angel. I don't dream because I don't sleep." He started to try to untie Dean. He had to do something.
"You're afraid of becoming human again. You had so many dreams about it when you were human."
He's hands stopped. Don't listen to the thing he told himself.
"Dreamed about you and Dean… giving up this life running off together. But deep down deep within all of the light that is Castiel angel of the Lord you're afraid of being alone. Scared of the day you wake up and Dean and Sam are gone. When you have to face the human race alone with no guide, because you and I both know the other angels they don't want you back."
Cas looked over his shoulder at the creature. He fist clenched the angel blade.
"That little crying session you've had over Dean well we both know it's because if you lose him you're pretty much alone. You don't have that type of bond with Sam and nor do you want one. Other humans well," it shrugged. "You aren't exactly the social type now are you? What's you're big plan then? Go crawling back to your kind? But you know that they will never take you back."
"Be quiet!" Cas shouted his grip on the blade increased. He was going to kill that thing.
"So angry aren't you? Can't process feelings like a little child." It looked at Dean. "A baby in a trench coat. That one hurt didn't it. You've been trying to be useful to them, or well I should say Dean since. In some vain attempt to show that you loved him. Went pretty well didn't it? I mean after all he had to be on his death bed before he finally embraced his deepest darkest feelings for you."
"Shut up!" He charged at it blade swinging wildly. Anger flooded his veins, it was going to die by his hand.
"Oh stop it, you can't hurt me in here anyways." It flicked its finger which caused Cas to fly back to where near Dean was. "This has been the best place yet that witch put me in. Hell an emotionally repressed man and here comes and angel with so many uncovered dreams." It smirked at him and kept talking. "You know I'm right. You fell for this man in multiple ways and it takes him dying before he gives you the time of day, poor Castiel. Ever the outcast. Your heavenly family doesn't want you and now you're new family only wants you for your angel powers."
Cas felt himself grow weak. "Stop!"
It looked at Dean then at him. "You can never go back, you doomed yourself the moment you fell in love with Dean Winchester. You go back you'll be a social pariah in heaven. The angel who feel for the righteous man, who dared commit the ultimate form of rebellion over and over against heaven, you just had to finish the deed seal your fate,"
He bit his lip and gripped Dean's hand. "Dean wake up." If he woke him up this would end.
"Angels really hate it when other angels fall for lowly humans."
Cas flinched. He's body felt weakened. "Dean please." This thing was emotionally and mentally pulling him apart like wet piece of paper.
"Heaven will never take you back, you're a stain to them." It pointed at him. "You're getting weak Castiel and I'm getting stronger."
Everything began to shift around them. Cas knew at that moment he had to get out of there. He felt a pull at his grace this thing was eating at him like it did Dean.
"At least you can be together in here. I'll send you to one of his juicy dreams while I finish you two off."
Cas looked up at Dean who was still passed out. He looked back at the monster everything was changing. No he couldn't die here not yet. He did the only thing he could think off. He reached up and grabbed Dean's face. "Dean I love you please wake up." He placed his lips on his, if it worked in fairy tales maybe it worked in real life. He heard the creature curse, the darkness began to fall away and Cas seen Dean's eyes open no fog was around them. He knew he finally woke him up.
Cas found himself standing in Dean's room. He's grace was weakened so much his body hurt. He looked at Dean whose eyes finally opened.
"Cas?" He asked
"Dean!" He shouted he pulled the man into a hug as he sat up.
"Dude what the hell I was just asleep."
Cas went to speak when he heard a knock at the bunker door. "That's Rowena I'll be back."
He rushed up the stairs and opened the door. The red haired witch stood there with a smile on her face. Letting her in made him uneasy.
"Hello there Castiel." She said as she walked past him. "Did you wake Dean up?" She looked at him. "You look terrible."
He frowned. "Yes I woke him up." He ran his fingers through his hair. He was exhausted he wasn't sure how long he could keep going.
"Dude what is going on?" Dean asked as he walked into the war room.
Cas looked at Dean he looked more like he had been asleep for five days not five well six hours. "Rowena is here to lift the curse."
"Mom gave us that counter curse I don't need it." He looked at Cas. "What the hell happened to you man?"
Cas took a few steps forward with Rowena following. He pointed at a chair. "Dean just sit. Once she's done I'll tell you what happened."
Dean sat down. "Okay fine."
Rowena smirked. "Oh Castiel is the bossy one in the relationship." She began to pull her witch craft material out of a bag
Dean looked at her and then at Cas. "How is everyone figuring this out?"
"I didn't figure anything out. I was joking." She looked over at the two men. "Did I interrupt something is that why you two look like you just got out of bed with no sleep?" She smirked
Cas had half a mind to smite the witch but they needed her. He looked at Dean. "In short I had to enter your dreams to wake you up. Mary's counter curse back fired, it didn't help it just made you sleep and you wouldn't wake up."
"Oh," Dean frowned
"I know you don't like it when you go in your dreams but it was the only thing I could think off."
Dean looked around then looked down at the floor. Cas wondered if maybe Dean remembered what happened and he felt shame. How would Dean handle it once he found out he's fears? Would he no longer want him? Cas worried.
"The counter curse worked on the wrong part of the curse." She laid out a bowl and looked over a list of ingredients. "The witch that cursed you, I knew her. This is a major curse and its two fold." She held up one finger. "One part is sleep, you either can't sleep or can't stay awake. It affects everyone differently and sometimes both happen like with you." She held up another finger. "The second part is the dream eater. It feeds off of dreams which causes people to hallucinate, once it eats all of your dreams it locks you into one dream then you well die. There's nothing left of your brain anymore after it gets to work." She poured some powder into a bowl. "It lets you see your best dream then starts too fed, one by one it digs into everything until there is nothing left of you."
"And that's why I needed to wake up?" Dean asked
She nodded. "Had Castiel not gone in your head chances are by now you would have been dead."
Dean blinked and looked at Cas. "Hey man thanks for you know…" Dena trailed off.
Cas gave him a small smile. He knew Dean he knew what he wanted to say but couldn't in mixed company. "We'll talk about it later."
"Oh now don't keep me in suspense." Rowena said with a laugh as she mixed more ingredients together. "How long has this," She gestured at the two of them, "Been a thing?"
Dean went to speak then looked at Cas.
Cas then said. "At eight this morning."
"Dude!" Dean protested and the witch laughed.
"Where we keeping it a secret? Secret relationships never work Dean it's best to be honest/." Cas stated truthfully. He personally could care less about others knowing. He figured Sam knew and so did Mary. If anyone who seen them could figure it out it was better to be honest.
Rowena laughed. "Your angel is right you know." She picked up the bowl and walked over to Dean and looked at Cas. "I was hoping you two would get together?"
"Why so you can use it against us?" Dean sked with suspicion.
She shook her head. "Nope, now Fergus owes me some money." She sat the bowl down near Dean and went back to her bag for something else.
"You and Crowley were taking bets?" Dean asked. In Cas's opinion he sounded offended and Cas would almost have to agree if he didn't already know about the bet. Crowley loved to joke around about it during their time together in the search for Lucifer. Dean looked at Cas and frowned. "Let me guess you knew."
"Crowley loves to talk." Cas sighed and Rowena laughed again.
"Well its easy money." She sat a book near the bowl and spoke a few Latin words
Dean looked at Cas and said. "What was the bet?"
"Crowley thought we were already a couple, and Rowena thought we weren't one yet."
Dean laughed. "Well I guess someone will tell Crowley that he needs to pay his mom."
"I'll share the money." Rowena said with a smirk. She finished the brew in the bowl and held it up to Dean. "Drink this. It won't get rid of the curse but it will stop the dream eater."
He took the bowl and downed it then gagged. "Ugh why is this stuff so nasty, yuck!" He cried and coughed a few more times.
"There that should buy you some time." She started to pack her stuff. "That Alex Smith is a nasty witch, she doesn't do witch craft for gains she does it just to mess with people." She put the book away and looked at Dean. "Do me a favor make sure you kill her, I would rather she not come after me."
"Will do." Dean said with a wink in between coughs.
"I'll get you some water." Cas said and made his way to the kitchen. He's body protested the whole way. Entering Dean's dream was much harder than he expected. He picked up the glass and filled it with water. He turned to go back to the war room suddenly his body felt heavy. "Dean!" He called the glass fell out of his hand and shattered. He hit the ground knees first. He heard Dean and what he assumed was Rowena run into the kitchen.
"Cas!" Dean shouted and ran over to his boyfriend's side. "What happened?"
"I," He felt Dean wrap his arms around him and as he tried to help him stand up. "I used too much grace when I entered your dreams, I'm weak." He looked into Dean's eyes. He could see and practically sense Dean's disappointment coming from him. "I am sorry that I am weak."
"Cas," Dean shook his head. "Come on let's get you to bed."
Cas felt himself practically being carried to the dormitory area of the Bunker.
"I know a good healing spell that should help." Rowena said and she headed off to the war room.
Dean laid Cas on his pretty much unused bed.
"I'm sorry." Cas said his voice was soft and it surprised him.
"Cas," Dean looked outside before he walked over to his bed. He knelt down beside him and took his hands. "You're not weak." He gave his hands a squeeze. "You maybe careless but you're not useless."
Cas looked into his eyes. He knew Dean knew it. He felt his heart swell with love and he smiled slightly. "Dean I,"
"Rest okay," He kissed his hands. "Listen I remember everything from the dream world. Rowena's drink it… brought everything back and…" He looked around like he was searching for the right words.
Cas felt his eyes grow heavy, he's grace protested it wanted rest he needed to rest or else he would damage his vessel. He reached up and cupped Dean's face. "It's fine."
Dean opened his mouth to protest when the door opened and Rowena walked in.
"Good thing I brought this." She said as she set up for the healing spell.
Dean looked down at Cas and smiled weakly. "It's going to be okay."
Cas had never felt so tired in his life. He could hear Dean and Rowena talking but he couldn't quite understand it. He's eyes were so heavy his grace demanded rest. He began to close his eyes, he needed to rest or he could accidently damage his vessel. He heard Dean shout in protest but Cas was too tired to fight anymore. Too tired for anything now.