Chapter 15: The Mordo Mash
"Apparently, the Bay State needs to keep you ladies at bay," Tony Stark quips.
"Yeah, you might say that," Jessica Drew begrudgingly grants.
Jen Walters states, "I loath to admit that we lost a few souls again. But, as at Tuttle Mansion, the police and coroner are once again at a Massachusetts estate after my team visited. It's true."
"However," Spider-Woman encroaches Iron Man's space, "The dead at both places are bad guys such as the Tuttles, Dr. Victoria von Frankenstein, and—well—Reaper twice."
Shiny helmet tucked under his arm, the Golden Avenger grins glibly, "Actually, Dr. Vicki von Frankenstein is an occasional good guy. She has worked for my SHIELD." Tony corrects the Woman.
She-Hulk informs Iron Man, "Actually, Dr. Frankenstein and Purple Hayes, a.k.a. Nosferata, are two of the lost souls who we encountered."
"Ms. Hayes and her girl Friday Freda Pfennigswert, a distinguished NATO operative, are in authorities' hands after their fall from grace," Spider-Woman apprises Anthony Stark, "Furthermore, federal forensics folks aid SHIELD agents at Visigoth, Massachusetts. They collect and transport the remains of Enforcer, Grappler, Reaper, and Commander Kraken for re-internment."
"But, I believe that the body of Grim Reaper somehow got away," Stark still smirks.
"Yeah, you could say that," seven-foot She-Hulk steps toward Tony too.
"And, Man-Ape escaped the Cape Cod scene?" smarmy Stark asks.
"True," Howard the Duck interjects, "We were in no shape to apprehend M'Baku after encountering the new Enforcer, the medieval Wind Witch, Reaper, and Tiger Shark." Howard returns from his cigar break outside the Stark-Hayes Life Science Center.
"Well, it would seem that the Lethal Legion ever endures," Iron Man doffs his helm, "We shall have to track down Grim Reaper and Man-Ape after resolving matters here in Syracuse."
"Actually, Eric Williams and M'Baku are unlikely working together," She-Hulk states, "Remember how I briefed you. They are on the outs." The Amazon Avenger advises her frenemy.
"Yeah, I know that," the Armored Avenger sounds defensive.
Spider-Woman pats Shellhead patronizingly, "The Lethal Legion leader is likely invading Canada soon. The Ice Box superprison has his lover and partner-in-crime Nekra."
"Yeah, I could tell you that," Iron Man resists pushing away Spider-Woman. He won't give her the satisfaction of a reaction.
"Before the Northwest Territories, let us discuss what we have done here in New York," Porcupine sticks himself into the conversation. He keeps the company on-topic.
"Very well," Howard assents, "We three heroes whupped four bad guys but good."
In the large laboratory, SHIELD personnel parade past the Headmen in restraints and on stretchers: Gorilla-Man, Shrunken Bones, Chondu the Mystic, and Ruby Thursday. Henchmen, not worth mentioning, lie in heaps here-and-there for state cops to handle.
"We three—Howard the Duck, Porcupine, and I—canvassed the research compound before entering," relates Stark, "I was miffed to find my Stark Unlimited money compensating the Headmen for services."
Howard informs, "The mischievous masterminds were researching regeneration and other unnatural forms of human restoration."
"Specifically, they wanted to raise the dead," says Porcupine.
"Such as the dead heads that Jen found in the Nosferattic," proposes Porcupine's boss Spider-Woman.
"Eureka," scientist Stark tells detective Drew, "The Headmen intended to literally raise dead dastards' domes atop automated bodies that the villains—or their allies such as Nosferata—could control."
"Those bozos have tried that same tactic before," Walters rolls her eyes (see Sensational She-Hulk #1), "I recall the quartet capturing me for such sordid and silly experimentation."
"Naturally, the Headmen only had interest in the one part," comments Jessica, "Gorilla-Man and his gang must have inspired collaborator Dr. Frankenstein to mutilate the dead as she did."
"Plus, have you ever seen the movie Frankenstein's Army?" Porcupine interjects, "Frankenstein's activities are basically the plot of the movie. A demented doctor just takes human parts and builds them into cyborg bodies. Thereby, the mad scientist creates a legion that should last forever."
"My armor's computers indicate that that title is but an obscure direct-to-video," Iron Man tells Porcupine, "So no, no one who is anyone has seen that film, prick."
"Not so," offers Howard the Duck, "I love my creature comforts. Of course I have seen Frankenstein's Army! Beverly and I watched it in bed."
"I saw the movie when it was called Overlord," She-Hulk tells Tony just to contradict him.
Anthony's ego requires him to be the smartest guy in any room. To that end, Iron Man offers, "Anyway! Besides cybernetics, someone might have wanted to pick those poor villains' brains—literally. A mad scientist can always probe decomposing neurons for chemically-recorded information. Or, an evil genius can always reawaken and then interrogate someone such as in The Brain That Wouldn't Die. In either case, the decollated criminal cannot cause the reprehensible researcher harm, for the felon is utterly disarmed and disembodied."
"Hmph," She-Hulk finds Iron Man's exposition unimpressive, "Speaking of disappeared bodies, has anybody heard from Patsy lately? One would expect her to check-in with us about our mission."
"I texted her," communicates Howard, "However, no one replied."
"I wonder where she could be," Roger Gocking wonders, "She is going to miss Turkey Day tomorrow." The Duck gives Porcupine the evil eye.
Four thousand miles away, Patsy Walker looks into the surprised face of Fred Myers. Befuddled Boomerang wonders how the blazes Hellcat found his fellow and him in Vienna, Austria. Beside Boomerang, Speed Demon wonders why Walker is in a skirt and sweater, office casual, instead of a cat costume supersuit. Then again, the incognito Sinister Syndicate is also in street clothes. They need to sneak and skulk while escaping Europe. Perhaps, heroine Patsy, a.k.a. Hellcat, is likewise inconspicuous, although unshod and stockingfooted, to stalk supervillains.
Stepping back, Walker wonders where Baron Mordo went and what the Sinister duo are doing before her. However, she ponders but briefly. Taking action, Hellcat hops high before Boomerang. Her leg swings deftly to deliver a flying ax-kick. However, the heroine's heel never hits, for the criminal's comrade charges forth like lightning. Speed Demon hooks Hellcat about the hip and zig-zags violently through the Vienna Bahnhof, the train station. The harsh locomotion bends Patsy in half at the gut. Two seconds later, the fast fiend brakes. Impellent force flings a female form through the air, hands and feet flailing, before smashing her through a "shatterproof" ticket window. A beautiful blur bowls over station staff and stationary stuff before bouncing off an office wall and flopping limply to the floor.
As in New Orleans, Speed Demon has downed Hellcat. Here in Vienna, the supervillain stops to speak.
"Listen, lady," James Sanders says, "Fred and I got screwed by Baron Mordo. He translocated us half-way around the world from the U.S. We're just trying to get home after fighting vicious vampires in Transylvania, evading Interpol in Hungary, and infiltrating Austria under the radar. We ain't in the mood to fight."
Fuming, the feisty feline flips herself to her feet. "Well, I am!" Hellcat hisses.
Her hands go tiger claw, and her puss projects fury. The Demon considers the Hellcat. In a flash, James Sanders drops back and fetches Fred Myers to his side. It is midnight in Austria, but the three Americans fix eyes like it is high noon. Then, Patsy pounces upon the outlaws, and. . . . .
Four thousand miles west, Sasquatch slaps aside heroine Snowbird. The do-gooder goddess skids across the frigid ferrous floor of the Ice Box in the Northwest Territories. The Canadian superprison can hold the worst trespassers of the Great White North from obscure Sickle (see the Maverick series) to the infamous Deadpool. Currently, the keep has Nekra Sinclair as a guest.
Lethal Legionnaires Grim Reaper and Black Talon have come to emancipate Nekra after She-Hulk and Marrina nabbed her in Newfoundland. Marrina's Alpha Flight ally Sasquatch aids them, for Baron Mordo magically mind controls the Great Beast on this mission. Snowbird confronts her commandeered comrade because the Northwest Territories are her turf, and she is the first good guy to respond upon the prison's distress signal.
"Hurry up before other Alpha Flight arrives!" Grim Reaper orders his compatriots. A savage scythe stabs and slashes prison security surrounding him. Energy bolts blast incoming prison guards farther away.
Black Talon hurries as ordered. He has a guard in a hammerlock and hauls the man forward. Ahead, the heathen and hostage halt at a certain cell. Through the door-slot, Nekra studies her rescuer. She smiles slyly at Samuel. Black Talon slugs the staff several times to soften him. He puts a dagger to the shaken man's throat.
"This door opens somehow!" Barone bellows, "I can remove your hand, your eye, or whatever and see if the cell has a biometric lock! I can torture you until you give me a code or your key card! Or, you can just unlock the g*****, f****** door!"
"Pal, I am just here for the paycheck," says the penal agent, "I shall just open the g*****, f****** door."
"Good," Black Talon releases the man to let the lily-liver liberate Nekra.
"But," the agent adds, "I cannot open any of these prison doors. Only the man monitoring the security feeds can. Otherwise, our dangerous inmates would take floor staff hostage all of the time."
"Oh," Black Talon replies, "I'll take no prisoners other than Nekra then." Steel slashes a "pig", staining scarlet upon the wall.
Nearby, Grim Reaper's whirring blade rips through a man's body armor, turning the corridor into an abattoir. Eric announces, "Like I said. Let's move before other Alpha Flight arrives. Northstar and Aurora could fly in at any moment. Guardian and Vindicator could arrive soon after that. Then, Shaman and Talisman might poop the party. Alpha Flight has redundancies for its redundancies, and each duo could wreck my happy reunion with Nekra. They could screw-up things in stereo."
"So, let Alpha Flight member Sasquatch wreck something constructively," Baron Mordo speaks. The magus slides through the air, alights on the floor, and points his ensorcelled slave toward Sinclair's cell door.
Giant furry fists buffet and barrage the steel barrier. Fingers nearly fracturing, bestial Sasquatch howls, drools, and bleeds. Droplets of spit and blood blot the floor beneath the furious beast. Examining the floor, Baron Mordo spots a clear gas distorting the lower air. From low vents, it jets and gathers in the narrow hall. He gasps at the gas.
"What the hell is that stuff?" Grim Reaper notices too.
"Knock-out gas I would guess," answers Baron Mordo, "And, based on the odor, that dreck is ether. It is both a powerful anesthetic and a hell of an incendiary. Apparently, the Ice Box cadre could make things really hot."
"I can't get severely burned again!" Black Talon protests, "I just got over being half-immolated!"
Grim Reaper is less concerned than Black Talon. In fact, he is even a little impressed. "You know, I am a little impressed," Eric comments, "Most sleeping gases would not affect someone who doesn't breath, but highly-flammable ether could cremate the Grim Reaper, especially if I fire a bolt into it. The Ice Box's upstairs must be thinkers."
"Well, they certainly are thinking more than I am right now," Mordo surprisingly states. His voice sounds somewhat high and heady.
Grim Reaper and Black Talon look. Either would prefer that the ether not affect the Legion's most powerful asset. Together, their eyes go a wee wide. Baron Mordo wobbles in apparent wooziness. Barone and Williams worry, for it would be woe if Sasquatch left the wizard's psychic control. Already, the monster Marvel stands still and slack-jawed instead of slugging away at the strong door. Then, Sasquatch even blinks with some cognizance.
Keen to the danger, Black Talon takes his colleague conjurer's collar. "Concentrate, Karl!" he commands, "What thinking do you need to do?" Samuel shakes the sorcerer.
"Well, I should do this," Baron Mordo flicks his fingers and phonates magic gibberish. Sasquatch is free!
"F***!" declares the Legion in unison. Even Nekra joins in.
"And, I should have just thought of this earlier," the dizzy wizard waves his hand. Instantly, an aperture appears within the locked cell door. Nekra is free!
"And, I should have thought of this just now," Grim Reaper whirls his weapon near the floor, and the action propels a wave of gas away from the raiders. In fact, it even sends the knock-out vapors toward the towering titan coming to.
But, what Williams doesn't think of just now is that Nekra currently steps from her cell. The ether arrives. Nekra swoons, staggers, and slumps forward—falling against Sasquatch. In turn, huge hero Sasquatch hugs her to keep her from falling further. Then, the eddying ether hits hairy nostrils. The Great Beast shuffles and stumbles with Nekra in his arms, seeming to dance with her, them both delirious. Abruptly, the drugged giant drops. And, one ton falls atop poor Nekra!
"Noooo! My love!" screams Grim Reaper. He lifts his large blade as though to butcher the "Bigfoot" crushing his sweetheart.
Suddenly, Snowbird swoops in like an angry Inuit spirit. Fists forward, the bolting flier knocks the wind from Black Talon. Wings wide, the recovered goddess ascends to the ceiling—before swiftly descending upon Grim Reaper. Like a great owl, the shapeshifter's taloned hands take Williams by the right arm (his weaponized limb) and haul him hurdling down the hallway. Snowbird scrapes, skids, slams, strikes, and smacks Grim Reaper off the steel surroundings before releasing him bleeding and buffeted high over the ground. Grim Reaper plummets as Snowbird pivots back toward Baron Mordo. Williams hits the firmament hard, breaking bones.
From overhead, Ice Box guards appear with automatic rifles. They open fire on injured Eric seeking to avenge their slaughtered co-workers. Their blazing bullets shred the sentient zombie's flesh wherever he lacks body armor.
Down the corridor, the angry goddess Narya confronts Baron Mordo. With a resounding clamor, she lands before him. Before he can react, she becomes a behemoth bear, and her massive paw bats him across the face. Brains rattled, Mordo struggles to summon an immense eldritch blast. It discharges through the giant, growling goddess. The unmitigated energy undoes Snowbird's transformation, and the bear becomes womanly once more. In turn, the incensed she slaps the insolent mortal savagely several times. With shaky hands, the magic-man summons an unsteady thaumaturgic translucent shield.
To the side, unconscious Sasquatch stirs as though awakening. But, it is actually an angry Nekra who quivers his flaccid furry form. With Nekra, the angrier she gets, the stronger she gets. And, she suddenly squat-presses limp Walter Langkowski now. Heroine Snowbird stares at the risen threat, and villainous Nekra glares back. The viragos toss their subdued males aside and challenge each other like vexed vixens. . . . .
Moments later, the Lethal Legion and Baron Mordo emerge into the artic November outside the Ice Box. Grim Reaper puts his left arm over Nekra, "My beauty, I cannot compliment you enough on how you saved our bacon."
"What can I say? The Lethal Legion lasts," replies Nekra, "especially when a lass loses her temper and lashes out."
"I was in awe," Black Talon acknowledges, "Even Snowbird and Sasquatch could not conquer us."
"Yeah, bring on the rest of Alpha Flight. I'll beat 'em with one arm behind my back," Grim Reaper jokes and jives.
Suddenly, an incredible flash of light blinds the Lethal Legion—and Baron Mordo—from above. Twin threats Aurora and Northstar have arrived. Accompanying them, Vindicator and Guardian converge from the east and the west. From behind the bad guys, Talisman and Shaman manifest from thin air. Puck even pops-out from the bushes.
Blinded Baron Mordo blares, "Hold them off! Don't let them defeat us before I teleport us to New England!"