Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
AN: A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.
Dear Students,
The following people can go and suck on a lemon,
Umbridge
Fudge
Voldemort
Lucius Malfoy.
315. Not allowed to hand in an essay on how clowns creepy instead of the potion essay you were set.
Severus wrote to me told me it was two thousand words of drivel.
316. Students are not allowed to throw water balloons at members of staff unless it is Umbridge then you can throw as many as you like.
In fact I'll send you all some water balloons if you promise to only use them on Umbridge.
317. Not allowed to put underwear on your head and pretend your super hero.
Especially when you are in the middle of detention.
318. Professor Snape does not want to kill The Invisible Pickle People.
The Invisible Pickle People do not exist.
319. Tinfoil does not protect you from the killing curse and telling the first years it does is wrong.
320. Not allowed to say a bunch of random words in the hope of creating a new spell.
321. Nobody to ask Harry Potter he feels the need to start screaming at midnight.
Because all you'll get is a load of random excuses that will make question if Harry is sane or not.
322. Nobody wants to know whether Filch fancy's Umbridge nor, do they want to know whether Umbridge fancy's Filch or not.
Gross, just gross.
323. Not allowed to kidnap Muggles and give the a guided tour of the wizarding world.
324. Not allowed to make a sandwich during potions.
Especially if that sandwich consists of twenty slices of bread, three onions, twelve tomatoes, fourteen slices of Ham, chocolate sauce, tomato sauce, lots of lettuce and eight bags of crisps.
Why was chocolate sauce added?.
325. Telling people you've met that an "Elephant ate your teddy bear" will result in you receiving strange looks.
Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.