Provenza smacked down his crossword puzzle and pointed his finger at Andy as he walked into the hotel room, "Where have you been? You disappeared as soon as we got here, and I handed you a room card."
"Out," Andy sighed. He walked to the empty bed and threw his bag on it. He unzipped it, started to dig around inside of it, and he pulled out his toiletries. He started toward the bathroom, fully aware Provenza was staring at him.
"Don't just leave it like that. You were with her again, weren't you? One time my-" he stopped when Andy turned back toward him.
"Just don't start with me, okay?" Andy gave him a look and turned back to the bathroom. "I'm getting a shower. Don't put out an APB on me. I'm just in the bathroom," he smirked and disappeared behind the bathroom door.
Provenza waited on the edge of his bed, and when he heard Andy start to open the bathroom door, he moved quickly to get more information.
"Are you insane? You're playing with fire, here, Flynn," he gestured again.
Andy flashed a fake smile at him and pushed himself by him, "Actually, you are the one who told me she had a name, so really, if you are being correct, I'm not playing with fire, just Sharon." He turned back to Provenza who gave him a horrified look.
"Just what happened in that car today to make this sound like a good idea, a second time around you idiot? I knew riding with her was a bad idea, not that I want do ride with her, but I think I will tomorrow," he started to shout at Andy.
"Hey, just knock it off and stay quiet. She's two rooms over, and the chief and all are outside, not far either. So, we are doing this on the trip, big deal," he shrugged. "It's none of your business. If this was anyone else, you would be happy for me."
"That's the problem, Flynn! She's not just anyone else. It's the captain! Dare you forget she runs FID and can make, has made, both our lives a living nightmare at times? How did you get from wanting to hide from her this morning to just," he gestured wildly, "that, what I know just happened down the hall?"
"Easy," Andy shrugged. "She was cool with it. I'm cool with it. We started talking in the car today, and we agreed that while the trip is a total disaster, we can still have a good time. Provenza, it's fine. She's okay with it all, and I am too," he flashed a smile at him. Provenza sat down on the bed again and glared up at Andy.
"What exactly did you two discuss? You really slept with her again?" Provenza asked.
"Yup," Andy shrugged as he dug through his bag again. "Thanks for covering for me, whatever you said. I'm sure someone asked where I was for dinner."
"I just told them after your long day riding with her that you wanted to get a shower and relax in silence," he explained. I ate with Chief and Fritz. Wille Rae was making dinner for Clay and the suspect. Everyone assumed Raydor was just off by herself as she usually is," Provenza told him.
"Yeah, well, regardless of what you think of everything," he finished in his bag and turned to Provenza before continuing, "thanks." Andy sat down on the bed, and now the two men were facing each other. Andy had put on his boxes and t-shirt, now ready for bed. Provenza was in flannel pants, an old LAPD shirt, and it was obvious he, too, was ready for bed. Andy glanced toward his bed and noticed a discarded crossword puzzle. "Anyway, see, I'm back here in the room. Provenza, it's fine. She's good with it. We had our good time, and I left."
Provenza narrowed his gaze, "There's no way she's okay with you just up and leaving after. Women aren't like that."
"Well, she is. She doesn't want anything out of this either. Look, we talked about it some in the car today. I slept some too while she drove. She really didn't care. As annoying as she can be at work, this works right now. She just wants to think about anything but her depressing Christmas right now. I can help with that," he explained. "Besides, I totally get that. Instead of drowning in a bottle or something, we can do this."
"Yeah, I bet you can. Raydor! Flynn, this has to be the dumbest thing you've ever done, and that's saying a lot. What are you going to do when you get back to Los Angeles?" Provenza asked.
"I'm going to go home and back to work. Easy. I'm telling you we have no strings attached, no expectations," he looked to Provenza and then grinned. "Well, we have expectations on the trip, but when we get home, there's nothing."
"You mean to tell me you plan this each evening stop? This isn't some terrible sort of what happens in Texas stays here? Don't even get me started that we are still in this ridiculous state of Texas. Who allowed a state to be this big? It's so big. I'll be glad to change states tomorrow."
"Oh, this is happening each night," Andy grinned. "She's okay with it. I told you. It's not a Texas thing; this is a trip thing. When we get home, she'll go back to her work and life. I'll do the same. Whenever I run into her in the building, I'll try not to grin when I see her, thinking about the fun we had along the way."
"You are enjoying this! Flynn, you're insane!" Provenza took his crossword and smacked it at Andy's leg. Andy drew back, his eyes wide as he looked at Provenza.
"Hey, leave me alone. It's my life. You're my best friend. I know how you feel about this, but just drop it. It's fine. You'll see," he shrugged.
"Oh, I'll see, that's for sure," he pointed a finger at Andy. "Go to sleep. I'm going to sleep and turning off all the lights. You're an idiot, and she's desperate if she thinks night after night with you is a good time," he sighed.
"You're just jealous," Andy smirked as he stood to get under the covers. Provenza did the same for his bed. "Look, my life is pretty much crap. I'm sober, but that's about all I can say. I don't want to deal with my family. That was a failure. I knew I shouldn't have gotten married so young and had kids, but I did. That was a mess, still is. Sandra hates me. The kids hate me. For once, just for a few days, someone wants me. Whatever. I'll go back to L.A. and back to my life. It is what it is. It's almost inspiring me to really put myself out there more when we get home. You're jealous I'm having a good time, and you're curled up here with your crosswords."
"Jealous? I'm not jealous of Radyor, that is for sure. I can't believe you think that is a good idea with her. Stop talking about it. I don't even want to think about it." Provenza got situated in bed and turned off the light next to his bed. That left the room dark, and he heard Andy sigh as he got comfortable too.
"Ugh, I forgot to eat dinner," Andy sighed and smacked his hand on the bed.
"See, you have your head in the clouds, you idiot. You never forget to eat. You were too busy with her, and now, it's late. You'll just have to eat a big breakfast there, cowboy," Provenza grumbled. "Stuck in Texas for two days now, and I've had to deal with you lusting after the captain."
"I'm not lusting after her! This was a mutual idea, something we agreed would be fun on the trip. It's fine, Provenza, all except for the being hungry part now," he sighed.
"Well, you'd better get some sleep. The diner attached to this place had some big cowboy breakfast listed as a special. Sounds like you'll need it to keep up your strength tomorrow. I can't believe we have another night of this before we get back to Los Angeles." The room was quiet, even though Provenza was expecting a reply from Andy. He waited before he said more, "Flynn, this is ending after tomorrow night, correct?"
"We said the trip, Provenza, so when the trip is over, so is this. Stop talking so I can sleep," he said.
Provenza sighed loudly, wanting to say more, but instead just silently shook his head. Across the room, Andy tried to drift off to sleep.
"Provenza," he called out a few minutes later, "hey, I know you are just trying to watch my back. Thanks. I'm good, though. I know what I'm doing." Both men drifted off for the night.
"Mind if I join you?" the two men looked up from their table the next morning to find the main topic of their discussion standing in front of them. Sharon was there, dressed for another day on the road. Provenza eyed her with her jeans and black long sleeve shirt. She had a taupe jacket over it, and he rolled his eyes toward Andy.
"You can sit on that side of the booth, Captain," Provenza nodded, not wanting to sit with her. He figured that as long as the two idiots were going to keep this up, they could share one side of the small booth. "I'll let you sit with us this morning. Consider this my Christmas cheer," he smirked at her.
"Thank you," she said as she sat down next to Andy and ignored Provenza's comment. Andy moved over toward the wall and kept his eyes on Provenza who was now sipping coffee. Andy picked up his cup to take another sip as well.
"Sleep well, Captain?" Provenza asked, baiting her as she made eye contact with the waitress. She didn't get a chance to answer before the waitress, who was a table away, walked toward them.
"Something to drink?" she asked Sharon.
"Coffee this morning, please," she gave her a smile. "I'd also like a glass of orange juice."
"I'll be back," she nodded and left the table. Sharon turned her attention on the guys.
"Lieutenant, good morning, and yes, I slept well. Did you?" she asked, a small smile on her face as she knew the game he was playing.
"No, I never sleep well traveling. One, Flynn snores," he gestured with his hand. Andy just rolled his eyes and looked back at his coffee cup. Two, I hate hotel pillows."
"All hotel pillows?" Sharon pursed her lips and nodded.
"Provenza is like a kid who likes his favorite blankie and pillow," Andy added. "He's just irritated we thought we were going to be back home within 24 hours of our departure, and a couple days later, we are here at a dump of a motel and a diner in Texas," Andy admitted.
"Oh, don't act like you are okay with this trip either," Provenza pointed at him.
"I'm not! I guess, though, it's better than getting yelled at by my ex and kids for never doing the right thing. I'm allowed to stop over for holidays, and I get yelled at by them. I am told to stay away, and when I call to talk to them, I get yelled at for working. At least this way, I can just say I'm out of town for work. I give up on family life! It's not for me. That's for sure. I've said that for years. Provenza, you have said the same! At least I wasn't dumb enough to marry my ex two times!"
Sharon's eyes grew wide as she looked back at Provenza, "You married your ex twice? How did I not know that?"
"I did, along with a couple other marriages thrown in there, Captain," he flashed a fake grin. "I was that irresistible. Care to discuss it more? I can give you all the details, or we can settle in and eat our breakfast."
"Where is our food, by the way?" Andy asked. "Last thing we need it to be late and have Chief's mom telling us she would have made us some homemade breakfast."
As he was saying that, the waitress reappeared with Sharon's coffee and orange juice, as well as the breakfast plates Andy and Provenza had ordered. She delivered all the food and then asked Sharon for her order.
"Can I get you something, Doll?" she flashed a grin.
Sharon hummed, "I'd like a fruit cup, one egg scrambled, and whole wheat toast. Thank you."
"Coming right up," she nodded and disappeared again.
"Captain, slow down on that breakfast. One egg," Provenza chuckled as he shook his head and tucked his napkin into his shirt.
"Hmm, Lieutenant, well, some of us care about our health. Most women realize that in their 40's, they have to watch what they eat for their health and for their figure. I'm of that mindset, so I won't indulge on a huge breakfast." She glanced to the men and shook her head, "Are you two really going to eat all of that?"
"Well, we aren't going to let good food go to waste," Provenza chuckled. "Flynn and I have no problem putting away this much food; although, he did pick some of the healthier options."
Sharon surveyed the food in front of them. Provenza had ordered one of the specials that included a full stack of pancakes, three huge ones in total, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of sausage, two eggs, and home fries. Andy had ordered a vegetable omelet, oatmeal, a fruit cup, and toast. Sharon just shook her head at the amount of food. "There's enough there to feed my kids and myself."
"I'm sure there is," Provenza added. "Today, it's just enough to feed two of your lieutenants, even if we aren't really your lieutenants. Flynn missed dinner. Know anything about that?"
"Provenza!" Andy exclaimed and looked to him with a bite of omelet on his fork. "Lay off."
"Listen, if you two want to talk, I can certainly get another table. I saw you both here, and well, in the spirit of being kind, I decided to extend an olive branch and join you both. It was either come here to eat or go into the RV and eat with the rest of them. You two were the preferred choice over sharing a meal with your chief. As you know, we aren't the best of friends," Sharon told them. "I checked on the suspect. He's fine, and I wasn't really interested in grits and whatever else Wille Rae was making for breakfast."
"It's fine," Andy waved his hand. "We can all be civil."
"Oh, you certainly can, Flynn," Provenza rolled his eyes. "Thank you both for being fully clothed in front of me. Can we talk about something, anything else?"
"Sure," Sharon flashed an almost fake smile at Provenza, "Lieutenant, when do you plan to retire?"
Andy almost choked on his coffee as Sharon asked that, and he looked up to find Provenza staring at Sharon, "Retire? Are you insane? I'm not retiring!"
"Here's your food," they stopped when Sharon's plate was delivered. She nodded her thanks to the waitress, and the group resumed their conversation.
"Just how old do you think I am, Captain?" Provenza asked, now horrified. Andy started to laugh.
"Well, let's see," Sharon paused to reflect. "I'm sure I can find it in your file. I know you are old than I am. I know you are older than Lieutenant Flynn here, who told me he's 50. I know you are one of the older ones in the department, but honestly, Lieutenant, it was just a question," she gave him a small smile.
Andy chuckled and shook his head, "Retire, that's a good one. Provenza will never retire. He'll die at his desk. I'm sure you know those types of cops. See, he has this clause in his divorce papers, oh, one from his first wife. She gets half his pension when he does retire. He plans to prevent that by never retiring. Provenza, retire. That's a good one," he continued to laugh.
"Oh, stuff it, Flynn! It's not like you have plans to retire yourself," Provenza pointed his syrup-covered fork at him. "What are we going to do if we retire, anyway? Are we going to sit down at the beach and watch the girls rollerblade by us each day? No thanks. Are we going to open our own private investigative agency? No thanks, again. We are both going to sit at our desks for as long as we can. I will never retire, and you'll retire to some nursing home, where you will hit on the nurses all day. It's not like your kids want to keep you around to play grandpa to their kids one day."
"I don't need to be reminded of that!" Andy exclaimed. "And yes, there is a point that I'd like to retire. I don't know when, but I don't plan to spend my life chasing dirt bags."
"Hmm, at least you still chase them," Sharon said pointedly as she looked at Provenza. He raised his eyes at her.
"Captain, considering what I know about you now, I wouldn't irritate me even more. It wouldn't take much for me to mention your little arrangement here with Flynn," he gestured between the two of them. "If you don't want me to throw up everything I've just eaten, we are now going to drop the whole subject and any mention of you and Flynn."
Sharon eyed Andy, and he just rolled his eyes. The men were still eating, as they had very large platters of food, but Sharon had finished, not even eating all that was on her plate. She pulled out some cash to leave on the table and looked to the men, "Gentlemen, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go back to my room and gather my things so we can get going when the RV is ready to go. It's still a long drive today, across a lot of desert. Lieutenant Provenza, have a nice day," she gave him a small smile. "Lieutenant Flynn, I'll see you at the car, and then, I'll see you later tonight."
She walked away from the table, and as she did Provenza shook his head and started to glare at Andy, "Flynn, I swear, you've ruined this trip even more with your dumb antics."