Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
423, 424 Belongs to Sakura Lisel
427, 428, 429, 430,431, 432, 433, 434 & 435 Belongs to giggles11228
439, 440, 441, 442 Belongs to HallowRain8587
AN: If I haven't used a rule or suggestion in this chapter or others, it doesn't mean I won't use them, it just means I will use them later.
A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.
Dear Students,
I was not around when Hogwarts was built, I was not best friends with any of the four founders.
I am old, but not that old.
423. No hexing, cursing, or slipping potions into the Slytherins food and drink that makes them re-enact Muggle shows and movies, that alter their momentarily alters their personalities to become what they turn into.
Especially no doing any of the above while using horror movies and shows as the main theme, like Friday the 13, Nightmare on Elm Street. Nobody wants to go through THAT again EVER, and if the perpetrators are caught they will be finding themselves in detention for the rest of the year.
424. No asking me if my hand is cramping when I write down all the new rules for everyone to read, or how I'm able to send out so many at once to everyone in school in one day.
The answer is magic.
425. Taking a sledge hammer to the walls is not a reasonable response to being told it is impossible to crossbreed a chicken and pig, and will result in detention.
Also your parents will have to pay for the damage.
426. No Professor is to be addressed as, "Fun killer of the universe,"
426a. No prefect is to be addressed as, "The boring brigade," or "The army of mini fun killers,".
427. No-one is to fill the great hall with flowers, we are still sweeping up pollen and petals.
The students and staff who suffer with Hayfever are not happy.
428. No-one is to put plastic wrap on doorways,
People are still worried that they will hit an invisible force preventing them from getting into classrooms
429. Popping bubble wrap in the library is not cool.
People are trying to study you know.
430. Mister potter is not allowed to wear his fathers cloak and go around pretending he is a ghost.
431. Not allowed host a Fencing tournament in class, in the corridors, in your dorm or common rooms.
However you can host a fencing tournament in the Great Hall if you have permission.
432. Slip and slides do not belong in the great hall.
433. Not allowed to Lord Voldemort hair products.
He has no hair, so it is a waste of time and money.
434. Not allowed to send Lord Voldemort glasses that make his eyes pop out more than they already do.
His eyes are creepy enough.
435. Singing if your happy and you know it does not make people happy and you know that
436. Hermione Granger is not allowed to team up with the Weasley twins to cause mayhem.
These three together are a force to be reckoned with.
437. Your parents don't need to know about the time the staff were too hung over to teach.
Nor are you to tell them.
438. No student is to ask why there is a statue of Voldemort making out with a duck in the Great Hall.
Because nobody knows.
439. Just because Lucius Malfoy carries a cane everywhere does not mean he is a song-and-dance man looking for a vaudeville show.
Malfoys do not do vaudeville.
440. Lucius Malfoy is not teaming up with professor Snape to sing a vaudeville version of "Ebony and Ivory".
Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder did just fine with it when released in 1982, we do not need a remix.
441. Professor Snape does not have a degree from the University of Transylvania.
Professor Snape is not nor has he ever been a bat vampire nor related to Vlad the Impaler-he just thinks he can carry off the black billowing robes with aplomb.
(Some of the females at Hogwarts agree).
442. Hermione is tired of being paired with every male in the Harry Potter universe.
Hermione is just a teenage student who wants to set a new record Os of a number of on the N.E.W.T.s (hence the time turner so she can take every class ever offered at Hogwarts) and doesn't have time to be paired with every man and pairing with me was just sick.
Sincerely Albus Dumbledore