She sat on the side of the table, her feet dangling, and she looked down at them. She hummed to herself because at least she could still see them. She remembered that about pregnancy, and she wasn't looking forward to it. She ran her hand on her side, and she smiled, feeling the faint flutter inside. The baby was kicking. She'd just started to feel it over the last few days. It had her a little worried because she was now at 18.5 weeks, and she hadn't felt it yet, not until the day before yesterday when she was at work. She had shifted at her desk, and she stopped, thinking something was wrong. She'd had a lot of growing pains, as best as she could describe. She could feel everything pulling on her body, and it was driving her insane. It had been decades since she'd felt that, and for her age and body, she felt like she was in decent shape and was thin. WAS. She wasn't anymore. Her body was expanding, and she almost thought of it as a minute by minute play, the ever expanding. Still, when she'd shifted, she'd felt a faint flutter. She'd paused and waited, almost like she would hear something in the silence. She hadn't, but a few seconds later, she felt that faint, familiar flutter, one she hadn't felt in a very long time. She'd even let out a nervous laugh, one that ended with a tear rolling down her face. Her baby was there, and he was giving her a quick greeting. Now, as she recalled that day, she felt another tear flowing down her face. She moved her hand to wipe it quickly, and she was glad she did because the door opened. She gave a small smile.
"Sharon, good to see you again. I see we are continuing to progress nicely. I'm going to check your blood pressure again. The nurse noted it's lower, and I am glad about that, but I want to confirm," her doctor told her as he entered the room with her chart and closed the door.
Sharon nodded and undid the button on her blouse cuff. She'd already removed her jacket and was glad that she didn't need to undress at every single appointment. She'd already started wearing her shirt out of her pants and was then covering it with her suit jacket to hide the baby as long as possible, but for now, the doctor didn't care about that; he needed her arm. She took a deep breath to relax while he checked her blood pressure.
He was quiet while he worked, and then he smiled at her. "Very good. It's a lot better than it has been. Whatever you are doing, keep it up, but remember, it can go haywire at any moment."
"Oh, that's such a relief," she said with a loud sigh. She patted the baby, as if telling him he'd done a good job, and she looked back to the doctor. "My blood pressure is better, but my weight," she shook her head. "It can't be good for me to gain this much weight this early. I know it gets worse as I get into the third trimester."
He shrugged as he gestured for her to lie back to check the baby on the ultrasound. With her age, she did enjoy that, the doctor wanting to check the baby most visits. She was really loving that part, seeing her little peanut growing so often. He turned on the monitor and turned back to her, "I'm not terribly concerned about your weight. Right now, it's okay. You were thin to start. It's normal for you to gain some weight. 20 lbs. already is a little more than normal, but it's not anything to worry about as far as I'm concerned. We're charting you at 18.5 weeks right now. You have your big ultrasound coming up, correct?"
"Yes," she nodded as she looked to the monitor. She put her hand out, as if she was touching the baby, "they couldn't get it scheduled for two more weeks, so it will be just about 20.5 weeks, May 7."
"That will be fine," he told her. "Baby is looking good. They will do the official measurements during your big ultrasound. That will chart the baby's due date again by size, but remember, the initial information is more accurate. So, if the baby is measuring big, that most likely just means it's a big baby. You were pretty certain of your dates, down to a small window, if I recall."
"Yes," Sharon bit her lip, "down to a week or so. I'm pretty sure it was New Year's Eve. We went with that for my charting. The initial ultrasound was pretty close to that too."
"I remember," he told her. "Are you feeling the baby kick yet?" he asked.
"I am," she flashed a big smile. "That has been wonderful."
The two talked a few more minutes before he finished with her appointment. Sharon finished putting herself back together, made her next appointment, and then she walked to her car. She was excited she didn't have to go back to work today. She'd taken off after lunch. It was nice to have so much leave time, and she was going to use a couple of days next week to travel, which is partly why she couldn't get in her ultrasound appointment. Sharon was going to go and visit Ricky for Mother's Day weekend. She hadn't seen him since she'd told him about the baby, and she was anxious to be with her kids. Emily was going to fly home Memorial Day weekend, and she was delighted about that. Ricky was hoping to visit then too, but she'd told him she wanted to come and see him. He'd fussed a little, concerned about her traveling while pregnant. She'd reassured her son that she was perfectly fine for air travel.
"Mom," she started to chuckle as she unlocked her car door, remembering the conversation, "they tell pregnant women not to fly. Why are you intent on breaking that rule?"
"Ricky," she'd sighed and started to laugh, "that's mostly for women much later in pregnancy. Honey, I'm fine. You can barely tell I'm pregnant. I'm okay to travel."
So, she had a short work week this week with her appointment today, Friday afternoon. Sharon was off for the weekend, and then she had a three-day work week before she flew north to see Ricky. As she situated herself in her car, she decided to give Ricky a quick call. He took a late lunch, and when she looked at her watch, she thought she might catch him eating. It would also give her car time to cool off because she was already hot with this pregnancy. She wasn't looking forward to summer.
"Ricky," she grinned when he answered and immediately followed it with, "everything is fine." She let out a small giggle as he replied to her.
"Hey, Mom, glad to hear it. It's the middle of the afternoon, and you are calling. I'm guessing you had a doctor's appointment?" he asked.
"I did," she nodded. "The baby is doing well. My blood pressure is better than it has been."
"That's good, Mom. Glad to hear it. Did they tell you if it's a boy or a girl?"
"I'm going to be surprised," she told him and continued, "but, I think it's a boy. I have a lot of the same cravings and symptoms as I did with you. Emily was much different. I can't stand spaghetti sauce this time. It makes me sick to even smell it, and I was just like that with you. Odd, but it's something that was very specific."
"Wow, that's crazy you can have odd things like that. Guess I'm glad I don't have to ever worry about being pregnant. I'll make sure we don't get pasta next weekend," he told her.
"I'm just excited to see you. I miss eating pizza right now. I do love it, but my favorite kind even is not tasting good to me," she explained.
"We'll get whatever you want, Mom. I can't believe you are going to have another baby, like I'm getting a little brother," he chuckled.
"Hmm, yes, and again, I think it's a boy. I don't know yet for sure," she explained.
"So, what's the deal with the dad? I wish you would just tell us, Mom," he sighed.
"There's no dad. He signed away everything. That is such a relief to me. It's done. Gavin took care of that paperwork. It's what I wanted, and he gave me that," she stated. "It's not a concern."
"Really, Mom? Some guy knocked you up, signs a couple papers, and now, he walks away? That's messed up. If I did that to a girl-" she cut him off.
"Richard Raydor, you will NOT do that to a young woman, understand me? I expect you to be a gentleman and take care of any woman you love," she sighed.
"See, that," he picked up on her term, "love. You said this guy was just a guy."
Sharon grimaced, "Yes, Ricky. I think we both understand how a baby is made. I know you don't want to envision your mother with a man, but it happened. Believe me, I have no intention of doing something so stupid again," she huffed.
"Look, I don't want to get you upset, but he knocked you up and walked away. I just think a decent guy would be a dad. We both know Dad couldn't even hang around for us," he said. "Note-Dad's not a decent guy. Emily and I know that. No offense, Mom, but you've picked some winners."
"Ricky, this man did what I asked. He walked away. I don't need another deadbeat father in my child's life. I saw enough heartache with you and Emily. This way is better," she nodded. "And, in the future, can we find something a little more refined than 'knocked me up,' please? Honestly, Ricky, I know that's the sad truth, but this is your brother or sister we are discussing, and I don't want that term to be thrown around with him or her. It's bad enough I'll have to explain the absence of a father, but please. Now, I need to get going. I wanted to touch base with you, and I will see you next week."
"Sounds good, Mom," he told her. "Love ya, and yeah, I'll come up with something better. Maybe I'll just say you were impregnated. I hope I didn't upset you. I just worry; Emily and I both worry and think it's crappy a guy can walk away from this with no consequences."
"I love you too, and you didn't upset me. I appreciate the concern, but even that term," she sighed. "Let's just say I'm having a baby. End of discussion. As for the man, like I said, he did what I wanted. Had I wanted to go after him for child support, I could have done just that. That, in turn, could have him going after custody or visitation. I don't want that. Ricky, trust me that I know what I'm doing."
"I hope you do, Mom. I'll talk to you in a few days," he said.
The two hung up, and she sighed loudly as she sat in her car. Sharon understood her kids' concern; she did. It was just not their concern, as in she was a grown adult and would take care of all her children, even the newest addition. As she sat, she thought about her day. She didn't really want to go home yet. She was feeling better than she had in awhile. While now halfway through her second trimester, her body was taking longer to adjust to that. She'd read in her books most women had more energy now. She didn't, but it was getting better. Most women didn't have nauseous feelings. She still did. Most women were just starting to show. She glanced at her stomach and sighed. She most definitely was showing, and it seemed like it was getting more visible each day. She really needed to tell Chief Pope and had an appointment with him next Wednesday, right before she flew up to see Ricky.
With her good mood, she decided to do a little shopping. She still needed quite a few things for her wardrobe. Summer was almost here. It already too hot for Sharon. She had purchased a few things weeks ago now, but she knew she would need some summer tops and even shorts or capri pants, not to mention a couple of dresses. She didn't want to buy much, but she did need a wardrobe. She'd tried to keep the work attire to a minimum, but she still had to live each day, every single day of the summer. She wasn't ready to look at baby things yet. She still wasn't in a "safe" zone with the baby yet. She'd told herself she'd start looking after 25 weeks. That seemed to be a significant milestone with her doctor, and it was with what she'd read. Every week after 25 weeks, the baby had a much higher chance of survival, not that she would ever wish an early delivery, but she was realistic. No, before then, it was still a possibility something would happen, and she couldn't handle that right now. It was enough that she was pregnant with her age. She'd adjusted to that reality, but now, she needed to wait on baby things until she had a little more security about delivering a healthy baby into the world.
As Sharon drove to the outdoor shopping area, her mind started to wander. Somehow, she started thinking about money and the huge envelope of cash she still had at the condo. It was in her nightstand, and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with it. Her practical side told her it was stupid to keep it in a drawer. It could be earning interest in the bank, but the money almost felt tainted. She couldn't believe he'd given her money, $10,000 to be exact. That had shocked her. It had taken everything she had not to let her jaw drop open, not to say something crazy to him, but she'd tried to keep her cool. Looking back, she wanted to say so much more to him. It still blew her mind he'd given her any money at all, not to mention $10,000. Jack had never given her $10,000 to help with the kids. He'd just left, and instead of giving her any money, he'd cleaned out what money they had in any of their accounts. It was just so strange. He'd been so insistent too, and that was odd to her. She knew she couldn't keep it in the drawer, but right now, she didn't know what she wanted to do with it. Honestly, she should start a college fund for the baby with it. She knew a lot about finances and starting one this early would be a wise investment. The money would really grow. Without the baby even here, it felt premature to do that, but she nodded as she drove that it would be the best idea. She didn't need any huge items right now. Her car was only a year and a half old. She didn't want to just pay down more on the condo with it. It would make a dent, but she felt like he'd given her the money for the baby, and she should use it for him. College was the best choice. She'd put it in some sort of fund, and that was something she could discuss with her financial planner. It was almost a headache, thinking through all the finances and legalities. Legal issues-that was something else. Thank goodness she had Gavin. He'd already started working on her updated will. She wanted the baby to go to Emily if something happened. She knew Emily would be okay with that and planned to talk to her about it when she visited. Ricky, she shook her head chuckling, was a very smart young man, but he wouldn't do well with a baby right now. Emily was a little older and had a good career. She had spent years babysitting and loved kids. Sharon hated to think about a world in which she died and left her three children to care for each other, but it was something she couldn't hide. That was her last big hurdle. It was such a relief now Andy had signed the paperwork. Things were going to be okay.
Sharon spent a few hours shopping, even stopping to rest and get some dinner while out. This pregnancy was wearing on her. She was tired all the time, and the problem was she just wasn't recovering. She was very thankful that her job allowed to sit and do paperwork a lot of the day. It kept her off her feet and really, out of the line of sight from many. Her assistant knew, mostly because Sharon's doctor's office had called to change appointments a few times. Sharon shook her head as she remembered her assistant letting it slip she'd had a doctor's appointment back when Andy had come looking for her, before he knew. It was out in the open now, she thought as she smoothed her hands over the baby bump she visibly had, and by next week, even Pope would know.
Her meeting with Pope was another issue. She planned to tell him she was going on a full 12-week maternity leave, but she wasn't planning to share, not yet at least, that she might not come back. She'd been thinking lately about retiring, not to just sit around and play bingo all day, but to retire and try something new in her life. Teaching was appealing to her, and she'd thought about that as a career. She could teach criminal justice at a community college or even a four-year college possibly. Her parents wanted her to come back to Arizona, and if she'd learned one thing after the week road trip with the chief and her family, it was that she didn't want to live that close to her parents. She loved them dearly, but she didn't want to be outside of Phoenix. For one, it was too hot. They also lived in a retirement community, and that was definitely not what she wanted. They were 80 and 78, but they were both going strong still. She loved that about them, but she couldn't move there and raise a baby with them hovering. Sure, she understood why they wanted her near them. She had been toying with the idea of moving closer to them. Los Angeles wasn't terribly far, but she could be closer. That was a possibility.
Now, as she drove home, she ran her hand over the spot where she could feel the tiny flutters again. He was awake and kicking. It was so excited, and she was looking forward to sharing that with Emily and Ricky. Both would be shocked to feel the baby, and the kicks would only get stronger as she continued with the pregnancy. She was glad the kids were doing okay with everything. Her parents were disappointed; she knew that, even if they wouldn't say it. She could understand it and realized she would most likely feel the same way if it had happened to her kids, a situation like this. She hadn't thought it was possible to be more embarrassed back when she'd told the kids, and she'd been wrong. It had been more embarrassing to tell her parents, to confess to her parents she'd been sleeping around with a man while also still technically married to Jack. That had made her almost want to crawl into her skin. She was glad that conversation had taken place over the phone, and she was also glad they couldn't see her on a daily basis to view the indiscretion each day. Yes, the kids had taken it better than her parents, but they were still going to welcome a new grandchild in a few months. Here, Sharon had thought it would be wonderful if they lived to see great-grandchildren, and she never in her wildest dreams imagined they would see a third grandchild from her.
She decided to make one more stop on her way home to pick up more ice cream. Oh, that wasn't helping with her weight; she knew that, but she almost couldn't stand the craving. She really wanted some ice cream, the more chocolate the better. Sharon didn't need anything else, just the ice cream and realized she looked like the typical pregnant lady feeding her craving. As she looked through the ice cream selections, she glanced to her left and let out a slight sigh. Provenza. She just had to stop for ice cream at the store. She eyed him, trying to see if he'd noticed her. She could see he had a small basket, so he, too, wasn't doing a lot of grocery shopping, and he was picking out different frozen microwave dinners. Sharon grabbed two flavors, Chocolate Chocolate Chip and Creamy Vanilla, which she could cover in chocolate sauce and peanut butter at home, and she tried to make herself invisible. It didn't work. As she started to turn, she made eye contact with him, even though she was trying to avoid it. He just had to live near her. It wasn't the first time she'd run into him at the grocery store.
"Lieutenant," she said as she walked toward him. They were only a few feet away, and there was no easy way to avoid him now.
"Captain," he raised an eyebrow as he glanced at her. After leaving the doctor's office earlier in the afternoon, she had not put her suit coat back on, and she'd left her shirt out, as she'd been wearing it. The shirt was getting too short with the baby bump, but she hadn't really cared during her shopping because she was away from work. Yes, she knew she always ran the risk of seeing people in Los Angeles, but she'd been shopping during working hours and had even eaten an early dinner. Quite frankly, she was hoping to grab her ice cream and return home without seeing anyone. She felt Provenza almost gawking at her stomach; she had not seen him in awhile. Even at work, she'd worked hard to keep her suit jacket closed and her peanut hidden. To pull his eyes from her stomach, she moved her basket in front of her stomach to block the view.
"Looks like you are picking up some dinner," she nodded to him, trying to be cordial.
"Friday night special," he nodded to his basket. "Normally, I spend Friday nights at the bar with Flynn, but he ditched me for a meeting. I'm left on my own with a microwave meal I'm sure I'll regret."
Sharon chuckled. Provenza was funny, even if she didn't want to admit it, and she knew he was a good police officer. He'd been in the department longer than almost anyone, and she had not had too many run-ins with him over the years. The two just weren't friends, and she was okay with that. He was gruff at times and disliked her for the job she did. She had to work with him at times, and right now, she just wanted to go home.
"Well, enjoy your evening," she gave him a polite nod.
"Captain, no offense, but you of all people should eat better than that in your condition," he eyed her. She blushed slightly, almost surprised he'd hit on the elephant in the room. She shifted her basket again, as if that would hide the baby.
She pursed her lips before answering, "I've eaten already. Thank you for your concern," she said in a crisp tone. I'm on my way home and had a craving that would not go away. I'm sure you understand that."
He nodded quietly, "He's told me everything. I'm most surprised you let him walk away. I figured you for one who would hunt him down for every cent you could get, not that it wouldn't be the right thing to do. He would have paid too. Captain, he's a decent guy even if he's landed on the wrong side of your desk on multiple occasions."
Sharon flipped her hair, a nervous habit. She shifted her stance too, "Lieutenant, thank you for the concern for your friend. This is a closed issue. I'm only looking after the best interest of my family. HE," she enunciated, "is not part of my family, and I have the legal paperwork to prove it. I'd appreciate you not bring any of this up at work. I know you can be discreet and expect it regarding this issue. As far as work, everyone will know by the end of next week I'm pregnant and getting divorced. Those points are both true. People can speculate what they want."
He shook his head, "You'd rather the whole LAPD think that kid," he nodded to her stomach, "belongs to that sick pig Jack Radyor as opposed to Flynn?"
Sharon glanced around, sure their conversation would attract attention. Thankfully, no one nearby was paying any attention to them. She cleared her throat, "Yes, I would rather people assume that. I was MARRIED to Jack. That would seem like a logical thing, especially considering I already have two children with him. That is better than the LAPD gossiping about me with a fellow officer, a lower ranking one at that, and then, having a child because of an affair. We all have our skeletons, Lieutenant. We all have our mistakes in life. You, you get married to any woman you date. I," she sighed and shook her head, "I have terrible taste in men and give into moments of indiscretion. Lieutenant, I'm done discussing this."
Provenza tightened his lips and just gave a single nod. He eyed her basket again, "Enjoy your ice cream. Just," he shook his head, "just, take care of yourself. As much as I hate you, getting reprimanded by you is better than the morons you have working for you. Sadly, Captain," he let out a low chuckle, "I'd rather deal with you and not the idiots in your office. It's more like I know we have to deal with you at times; that's a given, so just do whatever to," he waved his arm and didn't finish that thought. "Have a good night, Captain," he told her.
"You too," she said, almost breathless as she cleared her throat again.
She started to walk away, and he called to her again, "I have it on good authority you can splurge on more than just a couple quarts of ice cream." Sharon turned, not sure what he was saying and looked to him. He gave a slight shrug and a smirk, "Oh, yes, the idiot told me about the money too. Even you, Captain, must admit Flynn's a decent guy. He gave you what you want and more. He walked away and still tried to make sure his indiscretion had a financial foundation."