Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
534, 535 belongs to HogwartsDwarfKat.
537, 538, 539, 540, 541 belong to Kreepers-Grim
544. A, b, belong to TheGirlWhoSawImagination.
545, 546, 547 belongs to IceQueenSwag.
548, 549 belongs to Mabushii Mikazuki.
550, 551, 552, 553 belongs to Lolerator.
A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.
Dear Students,
My name has the word Bus in it.
534. Not allowed to plan Voldemorts and Bellatrixs wedding and baby shower.
I don't care if you ship it, the thought of those two being married, let alone reproducing, is terrifying enough as it is.
535. Not allowed to pretend to be Voldemort and write Moaning Myrtle love letters.
536. Not allowed to demand that Professor Flitwick dye his hair blue and sing twinkle twinkle little star.
537. You are not to tell Miss Lovegood that she is a Jedi, and that she is Hogwarts only hope.
I know because Mr Potter is Hogwarts only hope.
538. Attempting Jedi mind tricks on Professor Snape to get out of detention will not work and he is tired of, and I quote "children's grubby hands in my face".
539. Madam Hooch asks that all quiditch players who had "pimped their ride" return the brooms to their respective appearance.
Even if the outcomes of the customizations was over the top.
540. Molly Weasley is not, in fact, a banshee. Even if she can deafen ears without of the use of spells.
541. Getting bitten by a werewolf will not give you a '8 pack', nor will getting bit by a vampire make you immortal and sparkly.
Both will cause serious harm, even death before trying to turn you.
542. Hermione Granger is not allowed to tell anybody her solution to world peace.
543. Hogwarts has not nor will it ever be under attack by,
The Shadows.
The Centauri
The Borg
The Zygons.
Creepy twins from The Shining
544. DO NOT invite Voldemort to a pink princess tea party.
544a. DO NOT invite Bellatrix to a pink princess tea party.
544.b Do not invite both of them to a pink princess tea party.
I'm starting to question your sanity, Ms. Chang and Mr. Thomas.
545. Mr. Malfoy doesn't need to tell everything to his father and nor is any other student if he doesn't go through with his threat to send Mr Malfoy senior a letter telling him exactly what Malfoy Jr. threaten to tell him.
The letters I got describing what the letters said that Mr Malfoy got were extremely disturbing, stop threatening that Mr Malfoy!
546. Not allowed to paint every hallway with Ducky Momo quotes and pictures and not allowed to go around screaming them. I given up questioning the sanity off my students and gut plain decided you are all insane.
547. Not a allowed to put photoshopped pictures of Drarry everywhere. Honestly it's disturbing.
548. You are not allowed to turn the Chamber of Secrets into a night club called The Serpent's Skeleton.
Even if the slide down is fun, I have no intentions of tiring Fawkes out every night by having him bring you back up.
549. You are not allowed to send out invitations to the student's of other schools around world for the intentions of having a Multiwizard Tournament. There is a good reason why they discontinued not once, but twice!.
550. You are not allowed to come up with the excuse, "the Nargles ate my homework" when you don't hand it in.
Miss Lovegood, I am talking to you.
551. Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood are to stop having "girly nights".
Harry Potter wanted me to write this rule because he needed to spend a week in the Hospital Wing after your last one.
Then, after Madam Pomfrey kicked him out of there, poor Harry was sent to see Doctor Louie.
Unfortunately, I fear that Harry will never recover from the experience.
552. As flattered as the house elves in the kitchen are, they are growing tired of supplying hot chocolates and biscuits every night to, Miss Granger, Miss Lovegood, Miss Weasley.
553. Mister Thomas, you are not a muggle spaceman, and you never will be. So please stop walking around with a fish tank on your head.
You would have thought you had learned after the first time it smashed and you had to spend a few weeks in St Mungos. But no.
Where did you get the fish tanks from anyway?
Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.