"I don't know what to do anymore, Provenza," Andy said, exasperated, later that week on a Saturday night when the two sat at the bar. Provenza was on his third beer, and Andy was sitting there, explaining the developments earlier in the week. "She put that idea in my head, sleeping with her. I, mean, sure it's tempting. We were pretty hot together, but it's not healthy. I have tried to get by it for the last couple weeks, even more since she flung herself at me in her office. I get it, that her hormones are raging, and I get that's even partly my fault, but no," he shook his head. "I can't with her anymore. I'm trying to move on. I mean, I even took a date home with me over the weekend, but somehow, that didn't do the trick for me. I can't stop thinking about my kid and what I've done to Sharon. I felt my kid. It's not even my kid," he threw up his hands. "Sleeping with her would be a bad idea," he dropped his head and sighed.
Provenza put his beer down on the counter. He'd been listening to Andy for the last half hour, and while the beers were helping, they weren't enough. He wanted to support his friend, but he'd had enough. He turned slightly to look at him, "Look, yes, it would be a terrible idea. I told you that the first time, the second time, even what, the fifth or sixth time. I lost count! I've told you," he nodded to him. "You can rant all you want, but you don't listen, at least not to me. If you had, you wouldn't have a what-almost eight-month pregnant baby momma here. I could tell you to walk away, but I know you, and you don't listen to me, especially not where she's concerned. She is toxic, yes. She's gotten into your head somehow. I've listened to you tell me about the other women you've taken home in the last few months, and I've never heard you deliberate like you are with her. I know it's a mess, but she let you go! You can walk away and need to because she asked you to do so. Her wanting to start it up again is a terrible idea, Flynn. I know you, and you'll get emotionally attached to the kid. You'll be there, in bed with her, and you'll get that goofy grin when you feel your kid kick you. Don't do it, but why do I even tell you? If you've agonized over this, slept with someone else to get over this, and yet, you are still thinking about sleeping with her, I think we both know what you are going to do."
Andy frowned at him, "Yeah, but I don't think I even want to start that again."
"Sure," Provenza chuckled. "You couldn't wait to get off the road each night on our trip. Something about her, you just can't walk away. You have to for the kid; you have to walk away. That's the law. You need to now before you get even more involved, which is insane I am saying that considering you fathered a child. Whatever, though, she's going to have that kid in another couple months. Sure, I know you'll check on her and the baby, but you, my friend, must start preparing yourself to walk away for good then. That's what you signed on the dotted line to do. She WILL hold you to that."
Andy raised his arm and nodded while he looked away. Provenza took another swig of his beer, and he could tell Andy was still focused on everything.
"I know a way to get your mind off the baby momma," he said. "Tell me, what did I hear the other day with you talking to your ex-wife? Now, that would be a scary thought, you two back together," he shuddered.
"Relax," Andy rolled his eyes. "That's not happening, no matter how desperate I am. No, I had sent her a text a week ago or so asking about Nic's birthday plans. Sandra didn't reply to it, but she did her typical, waiting, hoping I was then going to be busy. Turns out," he grinned, "I'm not busy. I know when my kid's birthday is, and I kept that date open. I don't have to work, which has been a problem in the past, not always by my doing. Basically, Sandra had to invite me to the family birthday dinner."
Provenza's eyes widened, "You're going to eat with all of them? Oh, that should be good," he chuckled.
"At least it's at a restaurant, even if's a pretentious one I would never pick," he sighed. "Leave it to Sandra to pick a place like that, all glitz and glam, and I'm sure I won't even be able to afford a side salad, let alone a meal. The good thing is Sandra and the dirt bag will have to behave with the kids there, or I hope they will."
"When is this fun event so I can mark my calendar for a domestic dispute roll-out?" he asked.
"Ha, funny guy," Andy shook his head. "Nic's birthday is July 21st. Nate's is right after that, if you remember. His is July 30th. So, I'm going to make sure that I'm at both kids' birthday dinners this year even if it drives Sandra crazy, really, partly because it drives her crazy. The kids don't really want to hang with me on their own, but Sandra invited me, believing I wouldn't come. I'll be there."
Provenza just nodded, "So, you have two dinners with your ex and family before the month is out? That sounds like a nightmare," he chuckled. "You need to focus on behaving at those, which is even more reason you need to forget the captain right now. You definitely lose your mind when you are around her."
"I'll be focused for dinner. That won't be a problem," he smirked. The two settled into a comfortable silence, both thinking about their own lives. They could agree that Andy had a mess.
Finally, Nicole's birthday dinner arrived, and Andy made sure he was early, a half hour early to the restaurant. He came with flowers for her, reminding himself she wasn't 10 anymore and wouldn't like the attention of a balloon, but he brought flowers, along with a set of new earrings for her. She loved turquoise, and he'd found some unique, dangling earrings he knew she'd adore. As he waited, he stood around, nervous about the evening. As predicated, Sandra had extended a "late" invitation for Nate's birthday, too, sure Andy would have forgotten the date, but again, he was ready. So, here he was waiting for the first dinner, and he had a second dinner with all of them in just over a week. Andy hated restaurants like this, places where the food cost a fortune, and you hardly got anything to eat. They were pretentious, and he was not. He hated his kids had grown up used to eating at places like this because it made him look cheap the few times they would go out with him to some of his favorite, local places. His thoughts were interrupted as the hostess told him the table was ready, just as the rest of the family arrived.
Andy got seated. He knew there wouldn't be a race or fight to sit next to him at the large round table, but thankfully, the kids sat on either side of him to keep the peace. Once everyone was seated, he turned to the kids, hoping to completely ignore Sandra and the dirt bag.
"How is everything?" he asked Nicole. "I have to say, you really look beautiful, so grown up." He smiled at her, and she blushed at the compliment coming from her father. "How's work? I can' believe you are 27 already," he sighed.
"Work is good," she nodded. "I'm back in school at night, or I will be very soon; I'm getting my master's degree. I am going to start class next month."
"Really?" Andy's face lit up, and he looked around the table. "No one told me. I mean, I'm happy to help with the tuition if you need."
"I'm fine," she waved at him. "My job pays well. I can swing it. I'm independent. It was Nate's doing," she nodded to him. Andy turned to his son.
"Yeah," he shrugged, "I'm back in school too, the same thing. I just started back in January."
"Really? Wow," Andy said. "I didn't know. Do you need anything?"
"Nope," he shook his head. "I'm good too."
"What program?" he gestured between the two.
"I'm pretty boring, just my master's degree in accounting. I can specialize a little, but we'll see," she shrugged.
Andy nodded and looked to Nate who quickly said, "MBA, which was the logical choice."
"Sure," Andy said, wanting to roll his eyes at the attitude he was getting. He felt like a distant relative, not the kids' father.
"An MBA and a master's in accounting open so many doors," Sandra noted, breaking the conversation between Andy and the kids. "I think we should order. To do that, we all need to study the menus. Andy, if you don't understand a description, just ask," she said with a fake smile. Andy ignored it and tried to focus.
"Lieutenant, I thought that was you," Andy heard and looked up, almost dropping his menu in surprise. His face got red as he looked up at Gavin standing there with Sharon, both of whom were dressed in very formal looking clothing. He didn't expect to see anyone from the LAPD at restaurant like this simply because the prices were out the budget of most officers, and most officers felt like he did, that they just wanted a nice meal, one that wasn't eaten in three bites.
"Gavin, Captain," he said, his eyes wide. Where Sharon had stopped moving and was standing, her stomach was right in front of his face, and all he wanted to do was to reach out and touch his little princess. It was ironic that for the only time, he had all three of his kids together. He looked to the table and found everyone staring at him, shocked he knew anyone at this restaurant. He glanced back to Gavin and saw him looking at Sharon, who now had her clutch over her stomach and was looking toward their table where the hostess was waiting with their menus. "I'm surprised to see you here."
"Dad?" Nicole asked.
"Andy," Sandra scowled and shook her head, "you said you were free tonight. Are you meeting people here?"
Andy turned his head to Sandra, "No! Can you just be quiet?" He looked back at Sharon and Gavin. Sharon was eyeing Gavin, but Andy looked at her as he spoke, "What are you two doing here?"
"I'm taking Sharon to the symphony tonight," Gavin answered, even though the question was directed toward Sharon. He had on one of his nicest suits; Andy, being a suit guy himself, could tell that much. Sharon looked lovely too, even though he suspected she didn't feel it. Gavin was still talking, as Andy had started to daydream, "It might be her last time out for a lovely evening for awhile, and she needs a good time," he stated, as if it was obvious why the two were in the restaurant. "This looks like such a fun party," he raised his shoulders in jest, Andy knowing that sarcastic tone. Andy turned back to the table.
"Ahh, this is my daughter, Nicole, my son, Nate," he said and patted each of their shoulders. "That's the rest of the family," he gestured to Sandra and her husband without identifying them by name to Gavin or Sharon. "Everyone, this is Captain Sharon Raydor and Gavin. I work with the captain," he nodded. He eyed Sharon, and he could see the panic in her eyes. He noted her hands had a protective hold on the baby again, and when their gazes met, she gave a very slight nod to him for not saying more.
"Nice to meet all of you," Sharon said, as she gave a small smile. Andy knew that smile, one that was fake and almost terrified. He could see her lip almost quivering.
"Likewise," Sandra said in her cold tone as she eyed her husband and then Sharon. Andy wanted to cringe and disappear from this mess. "If you work with Andy, I'm sorry. I know he's a disaster. He always was in our marriage."
"What's the occasion tonight?" Gavin ignored that and clapped his hands together.
"Nicole's birthday," Andy told them. "She and Nate have July birthdays," he met Sharon's stare and threw her a smirk. "Captain, looks like that baby of yours is about ready to be born, a birthday soon for the little one, I presume?"
She wanted to snap; he could tell, but she cleared her throat and nodded, "Yes, I think he is. I still have just under nine weeks to go, but as we know, babies have minds of their own. This one, from the start, has thrown me one surprise after another. I'll be glad when he's born to end all of this."
"Ahh, sweet, a boy," Nicole smiled. "Congratulations," she said to Sharon and Gavin. "You look great, though, and I love your dress."
"Thank you," Sharon said, giving her a genuine smile. "The dress was my one splurge item. Gavin insisted I splurge with this evening out, and I've had trouble with maternity clothing. It feels nice to wear something fancy for once, but as far as how I look, you are too kind. This baby is huge, and I've gained way too much weight," she shook her head and patted her side. Andy couldn't stop staring at the baby or the dress. It was beautiful.
"We don't want to keep you," Andy flashed a smile. "I hope you have a wonderful night."
"Oh, yes," Gavin nodded and gestured to their table. "We've kept the hostess waiting long enough. Nice to meet the lieutenant's whole family," he nodded.
"Happy Birthday, Nicole," Sharon touched her shoulder and looked to Nate too. "Nice to meet you, Nate. Have a good night, and Lieutenant Flynn, I'm sure I will see you at work."
Andy watched them walk away, Gavin's hand on Sharon's back as they walked, and he turned back to the table when he heard them discussing Sharon.
"Wow, Dad, she's a cop? I mean, she looks great, but isn't she old to be having a kid?" Nicole asked. "Her husband is nice."
"That's not her husband," Andy said. "She's not that old."
All eyes turned toward him, and he rolled his, "Look, I work with her. Sure, I know about her. That's her lawyer, Gavin. I've used the guy too for work issues. They are friends. She's going through a divorce right now."
"Ugh, leave it to some pig to leave his wife pregnant like that and divorce her," Nicole said and rolled her eyes. "That's just wrong. The guy walks away free as a bird, probably has someone my age on the side, and he leaves her with a baby and a pregnant body. Typical," she scoffed.
"It's not quite like that," Andy started to say, but when he saw them eyeing him again, he raised his hand. "Let's forget about them. I see enough of the two of them at work. Let's celebrate Nicole's birthday."
"Hmmm, the woman is left to raise the kid, sounds familiar," Sandra scowled at him. "No wonder you don't want to continue that discussion."
"You would know," Andy shrugged. "Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?"
The rest of dinner went well, considering he had to ignore almost every snide comment Sandra made. Andy kept trying to steal glances at Sharon. She and Gavin were seated off to a side room, and with that, he couldn't get a good angle on her. As Nicole was just finishing up unwrapping her presents, he noticed Sharon walking toward the bathroom and wanted to follow her. He'd been wanting to speak to her recently, but she hadn't been around much. He had a feeling she was having more and more appointments, but she hadn't told him, and for the last several days, he'd been unable to find an excuse to talk to her at work. He knew calling her was a bad idea, so he'd just waited, hoping to catch her for a moment. The moment was now.
"Dad, thanks for the earrings and flowers," Nicole smiled at him. "I'm glad work didn't get in the way this year."
"Me too, Kid," he patted her hand. "If you will excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom." Andy stood and moved away quickly before anyone at the table could speak. He wanted to speak to Sharon, and she had a three or four-minute lead on him, so it was possible he might miss his chance. He moved down the hall, thankful the restrooms were away from the rest of the restaurant. He nodded to two women as they exited, and while he waited, he stood against the wall, his hands in his pockets. Finally, she emerged, and he could see the exhaustion again on her face. The evening out would be hard on her.
"Oh, I don't want to talk to you right now," she grumbled. "Please, go enjoy your kids."
She put her hands on the top of her stomach, and he nodded, "I get it. I just want a minute. Look, I'm sorry I'm here in the middle of your evening. This wasn't some plan. I never expected to see anyone from work in a place like this. I mean, most of the LAPD can't afford this on their monthly salary, but no surprise Gavin brought you here. It's just not my type of place, not my class of place," he explained. A man walked by them, and to do so, Sharon had to step to the side, now against the wall, looking to Andy. She raised her eyes and nodded.
"Yes, well, thank you for not discussing this," she nodded to her stomach. "I didn't know what you'd told your kids."
"Nothing," he shook his head. "I've told them nothing. It's not something to explain, that I messed around, got you pregnant, signed away my rights-" he shook his head. "I told them nothing. My family would have a field day with this information."
"Good," she pursed her lips and nodded. "I do have to say it's always ironic the man can keep indiscretions hidden, while they are very obvious," she gestured to her stomach, "on the woman."
"Look, I'm not here to argue. I have wanted to talk to you. You aren't in the office much lately," he said.
She shrugged, "I'm very busy. I have major life changes happening very soon," she grimaced and let out a long breath. Andy watched, noting she was in pain again. Instinctively, he reached to touch her stomach, and instantly, he felt the baby kick. She stepped away from him. "I think I need to rejoin Gavin."
"Let me finish," Andy nodded to her, his hand now back at his side. "I know she's hurting you. I just wanted to feel my kid. I'm sorry; I shouldn't be just touching her, touching at you. What I wanted to say is that I've done some thinking. You are right; the least I can do is help you out," he nodded to her. "I'll come over if you want. I know you are miserable, probably even more as the weeks go by. I know it won't mean anything, but I've thought about it, and I can do-"
She cut him off, her eyes, raised, "Me? What were you going to say now? Were you going to say you'd come over and do me? Between that and your knocking me up comment I've heard a few times, I can just see how you romance your dates." She gestured toward herself and stared back at him. "Just stop talking. I don't want to discuss it, any of it."
"No!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't going to say that. You always assume the worst of me. I'm not a horrible person. Sure, I don't necessarily have the finesse you might want, but what I was going to say is that I could do that for you, whatever YOU need because YOU asked me, remember? I'll sleep with you, whether one more time or a few, whatever you need or want. You are one to talk, Sharon," he nodded at her. "I may not have the best use of language, but let's call it like it was. You came onto me back in the beginning, which lead to creating that princess," he nodded to her. "You didn't want romance then; you don't want it now. I don't either, so don't stand there and pick apart my life. It was good enough for you before. You asked AGAIN, and sure," he nodded.
She narrowed her gaze, and he waited for her to respond. She shook her head, "It won't be necessary. Thank you."
He drew his head back, clearly surprised. She'd asked him; it hadn't been his idea, but she'd asked. He finally had decided it was something he could do, and she was pushing him away.
He scratched his head, "I'm confused. A couple weeks ago, you wanted me to come to your condo. I'm over whatever I had going on in my head. I'll do it. Now," he gestured, "wait, did you find someone else?" His eyes widened, "Did you get another guy?"
"What if I did?" she asked. "We are not tied together, and the baby is legally not yours."
He narrowed his gaze at her, "So, did you find someone else? I just want to know if some guy will be hanging all over my kid, looking like her father because I already have that situation going on out there," he hooked his hand. "I can somewhat handle work thinking Jack is the sperm donor because he's an idiot, and I know it's not the case. Plus, I know you hate him more than me. So, what is it? Did you find a guy?"
"No," she ran her hand over the baby, "I didn't, but I certainly could if I wanted. I am no longer interested in that offer. The moment is gone. Now, I need to go."
She started to move by him. He scratched his head, "Sharon," he sighed. She stopped, but she didn't turn back to him, "Look, I'm just putting this out there that if you change your mind again, let me know. I won't turn you down. Anytime. I know this pregnancy is bad. I'm sorry. You're still doing okay, right?"
She nodded, still looking toward the dining room and not at him, "We are okay. My blood pressure is starting to rise. I've gained 46 pounds, which just sickens me."
"You still look great, Sharon," he sighed. "Baby or not, I just see the body I saw those few nights. And, tonight," he let out a long breath, "that red dress just, wow."
Sharon stiffened and schooled her features. As she started to walk away, she said, "That, our arrangement," she clarified, "was a mistake then, and it would be an even bigger one now. My baby and I will not need anything from you, now or in the future. Goodnight, Lieutenant."