Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A massive thank you to my readers and reviewers.
580. Belongs to Dragonsrule18
581 belongs KeepCalmFanFicExists.
582. Belongs to TheGirlWhoSawImagination.
584, 585 & 586 ravenclawprincess238
587. Belongs to a Guest.
589,590 591, 592 belong to VivyPotter
593, 594, 595, 596, 597. XxMayumi-sanxX
598, 599, editorofthequibbler
Dear Students,
Never get into an argument with Ninja Ducks because you'll brain will always side with them.
580. Do not use Sonorus to play Justin Bieber's song "Baby" so loud it can be heard through the entire castle.
(No one likes him.)
581. No one is to owl letters to Vernon Dursley every Sunday.
581a. Nor are you to send pictures of bottles fire whiskey that have faces drawn on them.
Where you got bottles of fire whiskey from anyway
582. You are not allowed to change all clocks so they are permanently at midnight.
We are still trying to figure out what you did, Miss Lovegood, even if it was to keep the Dabberblimps away.
583. Draco Malfoy is stop requesting that the walls and ceilings of Hogwarts be turned into mirrors.
584. Not allowed to charm professor Snape to reenact that muggle Miley
Cyrus' music video "wrecking ball" in the great hall at lunchtime.
I'm still having nightmares.
585. Not allowed to run into your exams shouting "I volunteer as a tribute," then yell "I won the hunger games!" afterwards.
It was amusing the first time. now its
just annoying.
586. Not allowed to send Miss Granger Textbooks that only have the word # Dramione over and over.
She's planning on cursing whoever did it with those amazing birds she conjures.
587. Draco Malfoy is not allowed to reserve a cell in Azkaban for Harry Potter. So, he should stop saying that he can.
588. Not allowed to introduce a television set as your parent.
589. Stop trying to feed the Giant Squid Viagra.
It doesn't do anything to its tentacles, and simply gives it a bad tummy ache. This is the last time I'll be cleaning up squid sick.
590. Stop following Professor Snape around yelling "Turn down for what!"
He turns down the temperature on the flames because otherwise the potion would explode, everyone knows that.
591. Stop following Professor Flitwick around singing "Obama's elf. I don't wanna be Obama's elf! Anymore!"
There's only so much Celine Dion the poor man can take.
592. Stop drawing bikinis onto the female portraits (and a few of the men).
They do not appreciate it. Especially the nuns.
593. Whoever said that Umbridge Voldemort, Bellatrix and Roldolphus
should get together and become "The Awesome Foursome" should just stop.
594. No shipping wars allowed.
This is due to an incident with Hufflepuff 5th and 6th years who were having a heated argument
over Drarry and Dramione. When Snape, Lucius and Buckbeak came in to the fray, it just became too much to hear about.
595. To all the female 5th year students not in Slytherin, please do not dress up as the St. Trinians girls. We didn't need a show in the great hall consisting of 'the emos', 'the chavs (or rude girls)', and a Ravenclaw dressed up as Geoffrey Thwaites.
596. To whoever managed to get the purebloods to a muggle theme park and on a rollercoaster blindfolded please come to see me.
We are running out of money for therapists.
597. I highly commend the Gryffindors for dressing up as Slytherins for the day. I only tell you to stop on request of Professor Snape.
598 You are not allowed to try and give Mr Malfoy any more radishes, Miss Lovegood.
He may be an annoying git, but I doubt radishes are going to change that.
599. Could Hermione Granger stop waking everyone up at 4am to quote Hogwarts: A History. Seriously, we already know you can't apparate into Hogwarts. It's the 231th time you've told us. I counted.
600. We're not all doomed.
601. Not all problems would be solved in the wizarding world if it had a McDonald's.
Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.
AN: R & R, also check out my other stories and that of my good friend KeepCalmFanFicExists.