Andy folded himself into the car and shut the door. He put his head against the headrest and sighed before he turned to Provenza, "Hey, thanks for picking me up this morning. Sorry to drag you all the way to the airport this early."

"Just glad your flight is on time," Provenza muttered. "Now, you've flown all night. Have you eaten yet? I'm guessing not, and I was thinking you could take me to breakfast for picking you up today." He started driving, and Andy glanced at him and chuckled. He continued to chuckle as he looked back out the window.

"Nah, I haven't eaten, so by all means, pick what you want. Man, it feels good to be back in L.A. right now. It was so depressing in New York, both the weather and the circumstances," he explained.

Provenza nodded and continued to drive, "How's your sister? I know you've only told the team you were visiting your sister, but let's discuss the real story."

"She had a biopsy and is waiting on the results. I hate that I had to leave her there in limbo, but I'm glad I could at least be there for the biopsy. She's trying to put on a brave face, but I'm fearful of the worst. I just have this sick feeling I can't shake that she's got cancer," he sighed. He put his hand up to his face and rested it on the side door of the car. "What's worse is that we dug around and found out more family history. You know my ma died in her 50's, and my dad barely remembers anything now. We think she, my mom, probably had some type of cancer too. It just came on suddenly, and she got sicker and sicker. Ma refused to do anything. She said when it was her time, it was her time. Her sister, my aunt, had breast cancer. Their brother, my uncle, had throat cancer, so this isn't good. I mean, Provenza, she's sick; my sister could be really sick. Obviously, there is cause for concern."

Provenza nodded and continued to drive, "Sorry to hear that. What about you?"

"I mean," he shrugged, "I have my yearly physical. So far, so good, but the doc there even said to watch for it and to make sure the kids know and check on it. There's definitely a family history there, and it could go back other generations. I think my great grandfather died without reason, like he wasn't that old, but with my ma gone now, it's harder to get the information. Angela's biopsy should be back in a couple more days. We'll see."

"She's in New York. That's good. She will get good care. What have the doctors said?" Provenza asked.

Andy nodded, "Yeah, that's true. She knows she's in a good place for good care. If she has cancer, they are going figure out a plan and then, more than likely, start treatment. I just can't lose her. She's the one person in my family who loves me unconditionally. She's been there for me through it all. She's my sister," he sighed. "I love her, and I don't want anything to happen to her. Oh, let me tell her I've arrived," Andy said as he dug out his phone. The car was quiet for a couple minutes as Andy sent a message to his sister. Provenza glanced over and saw him typing and waiting for a reply. Finally, Andy put his phone down and looked out the window. "Glad to be back, even if I'm going right to work."

"Yeah, well, you haven't missed much here. Work has been surprisingly quiet, but with the holidays quickly approaching, it's bound to pick up soon. Chief has been on a candy high since Halloween a week ago," he rolled his eyes. "I'm sure she will leave you alone and won't ask many questions if you just show up and give her a bag of candy."

"Already thought of it," Andy grinned. He nodded his head to the backseat where he had his small suitcase and carry-on bag. "I picked up some candy in the airport for Chief. I am no rookie."

"Yeah, well, before we face her, let's get some food," he nodded to the restaurant on the side of the road. "I've been wanting to eat here for awhile. It's been almost a year since we've eaten here."

Andy glanced up at the small diner and just nodded. His phone alerted him to another text, and he picked it up, read it, and sighed.

"Please tell me we don't have a case" Provenza said to Andy as he parked.

"No, no case, just Angela again. She is just reminding me to talk to the kids and let them know about the family history. I told her I would do that, but I wanted to find out her biopsy results first. Nic and Nate aren't exactly rushing to answer my calls. I'd like to have the facts before me before I speak to them. Yeah, they will need to know if their aunt has cancer, for that, and also for themselves. The family history is alarming, and they need to know."

Provenza eyed him, "Are you limiting your knowledge to just those children?" He had parked the car and turned it off before he turned to look at Andy. Andy dropped his head and just shook it. "I've been surprised you've kept your distance as you promised, but you just said this is something your kids may need to know. So?"

"Let's go inside so we can eat," Andy suggested. "Look, I've already thought about that. I even spoke to Angela about that, and yeah," he nodded. "Let's eat, and I'll explain."

The two made their way into the restaurant, which was bustling with the early morning. The guys liked the place because the food was good, the service was quick, and the prices were within their budgets, or rather., Andy's budget. The diner mostly catered to construction workers and the like, which was perfect for Provenza and Andy. They didn't want pretentious or expensive food. They wanted a quick meal around others with the same idea.

It only took them a couple minutes to order, Andy selecting the oatmeal and two eggs with wheat toast. Provenza selected the special, which included three pancakes, an egg, hash browns, and three pieces of bacon. Andy cringed as Provenza ordered it, but when the waitress left the table, Andy met Provenza's gaze.

"Okay," he put his hands flat on the table to speak. "So, yeah, I told Angela everything about Sharon and Hannah."

"Are you serious?" Provenza asked, eyes raised in shock. "You told her everything? I didn't think you were going to tell anyone. What if your kids find out?"

"Yeah, I told her," Andy waved his hand in the air. The two men paused when the waitress delivered the coffee. Andy then took the creamer and poured it, while Provenza waited. Andy started on the sugar packets, and Provenza just eyed him, finally putting his hand on Andy's after he'd put in three.

"Flynn, focus. You've put enough cream and sugar in that coffee to last three cups. Why did you tell her?" Provenza asked.

Andy sighed and frowned, "It's complicated. I talked to her a lot on this trip. She and I get each other. I mean, she's my sister. We have this bond. We got to talking. She's freaking out about her health, rightly so. Anyway, she started telling me how looking back, her one regret was she got divorced and never had kids, not that that dirt bag she married was worth anything. Anyway," he tilted his head back and forth, "she got to saying that she'd enjoyed her life, that she was glad she was no longer married to the creep, but looking back, she wished she'd had kids, that she really wished she had kids of her own in her life. She got to telling me to make amends with my kids, which I told her I've been trying. She told me to keep trying, that she wished the kids were closer to both me and to her. It was kinda sad, and anyway, she told me that I should be grateful for the kids because they were mine, no matter what some step-parent did or said. Then, she started getting worried about them carrying this cancer mess like she might, you know, that it's being passed from generation to generation. With that, she basically begged me to work on things with the kids and talk to them when I got home. Then, it just sorta slipped out."

"Slipped out?" Provenza asked after sipping his coffee. "Flynn, now, I might believe that the creation of little Hannah might just have happened, but I don't believe telling your sister about this daughter of yours just slipped out. Spill."

Andy dropped his head and looked to his coffee. He folded his hands and looked at Provenza, "Whatever you want to call it, I decided then and there to come clean with her. I don't lie to her. I never have and never will, just like I don't lie to you. I told her that I was working on things with my kids, but that I'd royally screwed up things with one of my kids. That had her asking me what I'd done wrong with Nate or Nicole, and I remember shaking my head at her and telling her I wasn't talking about either of them."

"So, ahh, I have another kid," Andy sighed and looked her in the eye, his arms resting on his knees. Angela was relaxing in her recliner, the footrest up, and she had a blanket over her. The two had just come from the hospital where she'd finished her biopsy and was now home resting. Andy's news surprised her so much, she sat up quickly.

"You what?" she asked, her tone now crisp. "Andy, you cheated on Sandra when you were married? How dare you!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" he held up his hands. "It's not what you think. It's not that at all. No, I never cheated on Sandra. This is recent, very recent," he nodded.

"What?" she exclaimed, and Andy reached over to pat her hand to get her to relax. He nodded to her, indicating he would explain.

"I have another daughter," he told her and smiled softly. "Her name is Hannah."

Angela narrowed her gaze, "You have to be kidding me. Why haven't you mentioned her?"

Andy raised his hands, "It's complicated, very, believe me," he sighed.

"How old? Where does she live? Who is the mother?" Angela started spitting out the questions quickly.

"Like I said, let me explain. Her name is Hannah Marie Raydor, and no, the Marie had nothing to do with Nicole having the same name. Talk about a fluke," he rolled his eyes. "I work with her mother, or rather, she's a police captain, the head of a different division. We were briefly involved, not really dating, but," he shrugged, "you know."

Angela rolled her eyes, "You slept with her for a good time once?"

"No!" he exclaimed and then sighed. He looked at her and pursed his lips, "Yeah, I slept with her, but it was more than once. We weren't dating. The whole thing started on this work trip, and it continued after that. All of it ended after a week. She, Sharon," he clarified, "was adamant about nothing happening between us. I was interested. I mean, I haven't lied to you, so yeah, things were good with us. I felt a chemistry there, and obviously, if we kept going back to each other for a week, she did too. She's different than anyone I've dated, but we didn't date. She made that clear. Honestly, she's treated me like crap for months, and you'd think I'd easily walk away. I can't explain it, but I guess I liked her. She asked me to sign away my rights, one of those paternity things."

Angela interrupted him, "Oh, Andy! Please tell me you didn't."

He dropped his head and just nodded. He couldn't look at her, "I did. I didn't really give it a second thought. I gave her some money, which she didn't want, but she eventually took, and I signed it. What kind of dad am I? Honestly, I know I'm a crappy one, a terrible one. Nic and Nate would agree. I've been a lousy dad. I was drunk most of their childhood, and I just saw that, my crappy side with this situation. I felt at the time this was the best thing for her, Hannah," he clarified. "I signed it. I didn't think twice about it then, didn't regret it then."

"Then?" she asked. She kicked at his leg with hers and when he looked at her, she nodded to him, "What about now?"

"Now?" he repeated. He frowned, "I would have tried with her. My head is on straight, finally. I'm not drinking, and it took seeing her, that tiny little Hannah to get it. I would have tried. I wish I could try, but Sharon is stuck on about raising her alone. Angela, I haven't been sleeping. This has been tearing me up inside. She's my kid, half me, and I created her. What is she going to think of me when she's older? I just," he ran his hand through his hair, "I just didn't think about any of that. She's going to hate me more than Nic and Nate do. She's never going to know she has another sister and brother. She's going to grow up without any father in her life, and I did that. I hate myself. I gave Sharon what she wanted, and in doing that, I've realized I just wanted to make her happy. I guess I do like her deep down and just wanted her to be happy, but in doing that, I've made myself miserable. I've let my daughter walk away from me and the life I have."

"And Sharon?" Angela asked. "Sounds like she's very controlling."

"She is," Andy nodded. "Something about that drives me crazy, in a good way," he flashed a small smile. "I get that she's got her issues, and I'm on the receiving end of her guy issues, but she was different. I know she will raise Hannah well, but I just wish it was different."

"Have you tried talking to her, to Sharon?" Angela asked.

Andy lightly chuckled and dropped his head, "Oh yeah. She's not interested in talking to me. She's fearful I'm going to grab Hannah and run. It's odd to me. I've now seen Hannah twice. My daughter is now two months old, and I've seen her twice."

"Two months old!" Angela said, visibly surprised. "Andy, that's recent. She's a baby. I didn't realize that."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Like I said, I haven't been able to sleep, and that's not because I HAVE a newborn at home who is up all night. Honestly, I'd take anything for that right now. She's just a baby. She was born August 30. Little Hannah," he sighed. "She's gorgeous, Angela."

"Hannah or Sharon?" Angela eyed him. Andy met her gaze, and instead of answering, he dug out his phone. Angela continued, "Andy, I don't know why we are both lousy with relationships. We had a stable home. Mom and Dad did a good job with us, but we both are terrible with relationships. Sharon sounds like a mess, one mess that you don't need. I can't believe you signed away your rights to her, but honestly, knowing you and how you think, I actually understand. Let me tell you though, that you are not a terrible father. You had a terrible few years where you were off track and drinking. That is long over. Your kids ran to the man who was willing to be their dad. I have said it for years, and I'll keep saying it, that you need to fight for them. You are now one of two dads in their lives. If you are trying to replace their step-father, you won't. He's important to them, but that doesn't mean you can exist alongside him. Now, here with Hannah, you have a real mess. You said Sharon is a captain?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "She's been on maternity leave, but she should be back to work soon. I've done what she asked. I've kept my distance. I've left her alone. I tried to be a decent guy by giving her money. I gave her $10,000," he told Angela. She remained quiet, but her raised eyes and surprised expression told him she was shocked. "I gave her another $500 later for whatever she needed. I checked on them when Hannah was born, which she didn't tell me, but I found out. I sent Hannah a huge box of clothes and things. I made food when our team checked on her. Since then, I've tried to move on and let her be. I have two pictures of Hannah, one with Provenza holding her and one with me holding her. That was when the team visited, and only Provenza knows the truth. I tried to take a picture of her myself, but my stupid phone didn't focus, and it's too blurry. I've walked away, or I've tried, and I can't function now."

"So, you're planning to pounce on her when she's back to work? Andy, that's not a good idea," Angela told him.

"I know," he nodded. "I don't have a plan. I guess I am going to just let her get back to work and see how things go. We still have to work together, and my best hope now is that I might catch a glimpse of my own daughter every now and then when she's going to daycare. I hate it."

"Yeah, you've created a mess. You know it can't be fixed, maybe ever, but again, your choices led you to this, just as your choice to drink led you to problems before. This time, you got involved with a woman, and I've warned you about that. Wait, how old is she?" Angela asked, grimacing.

"She's now 48," he rolled his eyes. "I told you she is a police captain. We seemed to beat all the odds."

"Hmm," she nodded. "I see. Still, when you play with fire, you will get burned. How many times have I told you that? You messed around with a woman when you weren't even in a relationship with her. You got her pregnant, and when she asked you to walk away, you did. Andy, Mom and Dad would be disappointed. I mean, I am too, but I see what you did and why you did it. I'm here to tell you that Hannah is not better off without you, her father in her life, no matter what you think, just as Nicole and Nathan are not better off without you. Now, legally, it may be too late for Hannah. I don't know what you can do there, especially if Sharon is certain of your place, or lack of place, in Hannah's life. You can change things with the other two, and I want you to promise me you will try to do that."

"I'm trying," he nodded. "It's discouraging, all of it, but I'm trying. I don't know what I'm going to do about Hannah. For now, I'd do anything just to see her sweet face."

"I don't have an answer, but I'm glad you told me. You can always talk to me. I love you. I always will. One thing, if I am sick, you need to inform your kids, all of them, even just for future medical information," she told him.

"I know," he sighed. "I'll deal with my kids; you need to focus on your health."

"Flynn!" Andy snapped, and he saw the waitress standing there with his food. He moved his hands to give her room on the table for his plates.

"Thanks," he nodded. Provenza also nodded to the waitress, and she left.

"Where in the world did your mind go?" he asked.

Andy shook his head, "You don't even want to know, but yeah, I told Angela all about Hannah. She told me I was an idiot, in so many words," he sighed. "I'm realizing that more and more."

"Well," Provenza took a bite, "you haven't been thinking clearly for almost the last year. I mean, Raydor, Flynn, Raydor! That was the first mistake."

"Aware!" Andy snapped. "Still, what's done is done. Hannah is here. She's amazing, and I am missing everything. I don't know anything about her! I just have that update from Gavin from a couple weeks ago now, that she is healthy and doing great. I don't know what she looks like now, if she has hair. Why was I so stupid I didn't even take off that little cap she had on to check on her hair? I could see a little dark hair there at the base of her head, but I don't know if she has a lot or a little hair. Does she sleep? I don't know that. I'm sure if she's not, Sharon is hating me more and more, blaming me for that. Does she smile? Is she happy? Does she eat well? I'm a father, and I'm worthless."

"I warned you about signing, even when I joked it was a great idea," he pointed his fork at Andy. 'Flynn, you have to find a way to deal with this or cope. You can't live like this. Maybe things will be better when the captain is back to work. I can't believe I just said that," Provenza made a horrified face.

"I said the same to Angela, that maybe I'll relax if I just get a glimpse of Hannah every now and then in the building. I just don't even like how strained things are with Sharon. I don't want them to be. I've given her everything she wanted, along with the most precious thing she didn't even know she wanted," he let out a low grunt. "I just don't know why she hates me, hates men so much. I swear that idiot of an ex did such a number on her that she will never be in a healthy relationship."

Provenza nodded and shrugged, "She may never be, but you have to realize she's a grown woman. Just like with your other two, there may come a day when a man steps in to be Hannah's father. Even the captain might find a man to deal with her attitude," he rolled his eyes.

Andy finished chewing and just shook his head, "Maybe, but I just don't know. She's so controlling, and my only take on that is he tried so much to control her, she's not going to allow that to ever happen. I'm not sure she's ever going to allow any man, myself included, anywhere near Pumpkin again."

"What's your plan for all of this when she returns to work?" Provenza asked, stuffing a huge bite of pancake into his mouth. The syrup dripped down over his chin, and Andy shook his head, both at the question and the view of Provenza.

"I guess I just want to keep my head down for awhile, try to just get along with her and deal with her when needed. Hopefully, I'll catch a glimpse of Hannah here and there. If Angela is sick, I guess I'll see if I can tell her about that, at least for Hannah's sake in the future."

"This mess won't end anytime soon, Flynn," Provenza told him.

"Well aware," he nodded. "Well aware."

Meanwhile, Sharon was wiping a stray tear as she navigated her way out of Los Angeles. She was happy and sad, excited and nervous. She glanced into her backseat and smiled, noting her precious cargo was already asleep. The two were off on their new adventure, having just pulled away from the condo and Gavin. Sharon had timed it with Hannah's morning nap and hoped to get at least an hour or so of driving in before she was awake again.

"Here's a copy of the key," she had said to Gavin as she placed it in his hand and wrapped her hand around his. "Thank you for dealing with this, with passing this along to the property manager."

He waved at her, "I'll keep an eye on things. I told you the firm hired two new people recently from out of town. I'll even check to see if either need a place to rent. That would be ideal. You, you need to be careful. That's my Hannah back there, and I need her to arrive in Arizona in one piece."

Sharon smiled at him and shook her head, "I'm going to miss you so much. When I weighed the pros and cons of moving, you were the con, the main one, the only one I really considered. Life won't be the same without you stopping by anytime you want."

He rolled his eyes, "I do leave a mark on people. I'm well aware. No one can forget me, just as I won't forget you."

"No," Sharon said, tearfully. "I don't know why I'm crying. You are coming to visit for Christmas. That's not far."

"I still can't believe I agreed to that the other day," he rolled his eyes. "That was a moment of weakness."

Sharon let out a choked sob and laugh, and she smiled at him, clasping her hands in his. "You take care. I'll call you when I arrive."

He frowned, "I still can't believe you rented an apartment. It looks so blah," he made a face.

She shrugged, "It's safe, affordable, and it's not permanent. I can get my feet on the ground and figure out what I want from there. I've had so many changes recently. I need to take a deep breath before I buy something there, and I want to make sure I like teaching."

"Well, then, you professor," he pulled her close to him, "be careful driving today. Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Gavin!" she exclaimed and pulled away from him. "Stop. I'm a now retired police captain. I can certainly handle a day of driving with an infant."

He rolled his eyes, "She's not sleeping as much. She might cry."

Sharon nodded, "She might. I might too. We'll stop and deal with it. My daughter and I are going to be just fine."

"Okay," he nodded. "Last chance to bail on this idea," he teased.

She shook her head, "I'm ready." Her door was already open, and he stuck his head inside toward Hannah who was already in her car seat kicking her feet.

"Hannah, be good for your old mom," he flashed a grin at Sharon. He looked at her, "You will be great. I'll see you soon, and I'm sure I will talk to you during the day today. Call me anytime. I don't have court today."

She nodded, and he gestured to the car. She stepped toward it, and then she reached inside to her purse. When she stood up, she looked at him. Their eyes met, "You will know when the time is right to give this to him," she nodded to Gavin, for him to take the plain white envelope. He eyed it and looked up at her. She shrugged, "I'm not discussing it. Just keep it. I have a feeling he'll come to you."

Gavin took the plain white envelope and started to fold it in half. He looked to Sharon, wanting confirmation it was okay to fold. She just nodded at him. The envelope looked worn already like she had been handling it. There was no name on it, but the name was understood.

"I'll keep you posted on everything here," he winked at her. "I've got your address, so be on the lookout for packages."

Sharon stepped toward her car and sat down in it. She eyed him, "You are going to send her more clothing, aren't you?"

He shrugged, "Going to-hmm, no, I might have already placed the order. Enjoy it when it arrives. Bye, Sharon," he nodded. She closed the door, and she pulled away with one last quick wave.

Now, she was finally getting on the freeway. She was driving away from L.A. Her life was really coming full-circle. She still remembered the first time she drove to L.A., full of hope and wonder, with Jack at her side. Now, she was leaving, full of the same emotions and with a lot of baggage now in her past.

Her first trip to L.A. had been now over 25 years ago. She'd driven some of the same roads she was now using to leave the city. Back then, she was a newly married, excited college graduate, ready to conquer the world with her new husband Jack. She had been thrilled to start her life with him. The two had grown up knowing each other, but they'd never lived in even the same state until they got married. Sharon's parents had gone to college with Jack's parents. The four were the best of friends, even with Jack and his family living outside of Boston. The college friends had gone to college back East, but Sharon's dad had gotten a job offer that brought him with his new bride to Phoenix where they'd stayed and had their family. Still, every couple years, the college friends found a way to get together. Sometimes, they saw each other back East at family events. Some years, the two families took a vacation together, but the four had remained friends even with their hectic lives. Sharon had known Jack most of her life, one of her earliest memories being from a picture she still had of the two playing in a sandbox when she was three, and he was four. Growing up, it was normal to spend time with Jack and his family; he was like family. So, as Sharon and Jack grew up and the families continued to see each other, the two remained friends. Sharon always thought of him as friend, and that didn't change until the families got together when she was 17. Jack was 18, and his parents had brought him to Arizona as a graduation gift. They had a West Coast tour planned for him, and one stop was in Phoenix. Sharon still remembered that visit. It was the first time she saw Jack as more than just a friend. He was handsome and funny. The two snuck away from their parents that night and spent the evening listening to records in Sharon's bedroom. Their parents and other kids had been sitting outside around a fire, reminiscing about old times, and when they finally came into the house for more to drink, Sharon and Jack scrambled to rejoin the group. Jack kissed her that night, and everything changed. He was her first love, and that didn't go away even through college.

The two attended different colleges, but they kept in touch. Both dated others on and off in college, nothing serious, but with their parents being friends, they were able to see each other almost every year after that. During Jack's senior year, Sharon's junior year of college, he drove down to see her and surprise her. He had chosen to go to school in Boston, and she'd gone to school in Connecticut. He'd waited outside the criminal justice building for her, knowing she had class there each day. She smiled still at that memory, and when she spotted him that day, she ran to embrace him. The two kissed, a kiss that seemed to seal their fate. It was almost unspoken from that point on, that the two were together. Times were different then, and it felt right. Jack was comfortable to Sharon, just as she was to him. They had several more trips like that, where Jack surprised her, and finally, they told their parents they were madly in love in middle of Jack's senior year when home for Christmas. It seemed right; it felt right. The families were friends. Both Sharon and Jack were Catholic. They had grown up together. They were familiar with each other. They had the same interests and both wanted to be lawyers. It seemed perfect. It seemed right. The next few months were a whirlwind as Jack was accepted to law schools around the country. He drove down to see Sharon at school and proposed to her during a walk through the school's gardens. Immediately after that, he said he wanted her to help him pick a school, and he pulled out his various acceptance letters. The two decided on Los Angeles, or rather, Jack had wanted to go to school there, and he convinced Sharon it the best option. It was close to Sharon's family, and even though she still had one more year of college on the East Coast, she would join him after she graduated, and they were married. They started making plans, doing all of it long-distance. Sharon only saw Jack on her school breaks at the holidays when she flew home. He was busy that first year of law school, just as she was her last year of college. He, along with his parents, attended her graduation and sat with her parents. They were married in Phoenix three weeks later with their family and friends in attendance. Things seemed perfect. The families were happy with the blessed union. The problem was that Sharon didn't realize she hadn't dated Jack and hadn't spent much time around him. The two did know each other from growing up with their families, but they'd not been a couple much before their wedding. They hadn't lived in the same state. They almost made it to their wedding without sleeping together, almost. They'd tried. Both being Catholic, they'd discussed it and had wanted to wait, but their young love fought back. She rolled her eyes now thinking back to that, her first time with Jack. It should have been a warning too. It had been different, awkward, strange, but then, she just suspected that's how it was. The two had snuck off from the last-minute wedding planning just to spend time together. The wedding was two days away, and the two had been so busy, they'd barely had time to speak to the other. Sharon remembered waiting at the airport for Jack's flight that day. He'd left his car in L.A. because Sharon's parents had bought her a car for her college graduation, and she and Jack were going to drive that to L.A. after the wedding. So, she waited for him, in her new car. When he arrived, the two couldn't keep their hands off each other. Even the Phoenix heat hadn't been a deterrent, and the two had stopped only long enough to get out of the airport parking area to a more secluded spot. Sharon had driven to a parking lot just to kiss Jack, she'd told herself, and he nodded to the motel across the street.

"I don't know if I can stand waiting, Sharon," he told her. "I've wanted you for so long."

"I don't want to wait either," she said, breathlessly. "The wedding is in two days. We'll be tired and stressed by the time it's over. Let's do this now while we can enjoy it."

And, they had, or so it seemed. They'd spent the afternoon at the motel, a very basic one that she was sure now would be the type to be a crime scene. Jack had loved every minute. She'd enjoyed it too, but she'd left there wondering if she should feel differently about Jack. She'd enjoyed it, but something seemed to be missing. She chalked it up to inexperience and told herself things would get better with time. She also told herself that it would be even more exciting when they were married. She found, though, it wasn't.

Life with Jack was not what she'd expected. Intimately, she never seemed to connect like he did, but knowing him now, Jack seemed to connect with any woman he took to bed. Life in Los Angeles was hard. The two were going to law school together, but very early into her first semester, Sharon realized something was off-both in her marriage and in school. She kept telling herself she was just adjusting to married life, to living with Jack, and to school. The feelings lingered. It didn't help money wasn't tight; it was non-existent. The two hadn't thought about that. Both had grown up where money wasn't an object, but now that they were married, they were expected to stand on their own. As she continued with her studies, Sharon realized she liked the other side of the law. She spoke to Jack about her feelings, and eventually, the two decided she would go to work for awhile; she would become a police officer to pay the bills, but also to see the other side of the law. Both thought the break from school would only convince Sharon to go back to law school. As with anything, life happened. Sharon found that she enjoyed working as a police officer, but the two really enjoyed the steady income and health insurance. That insurance came in handy when Sharon became pregnant with Emily. By the time she was born, Jack was already drinking more and more. Things continued after that, and Sharon soon found herself saddled with two children and a disappearing husband eventually. Their split ended the family friendship. No one thought the two would have problems. Jack's parents were embarrassed, especially when he abandoned Sharon and the kids. His dad found him to talk to him, and it got even worse then when Jack, with a woman hanging on him, answered the door of his new Las Vegas apartment.

Things had not been the same between the families. Sharon had gone on with her life. Jack's parents had stayed in touch, but things hadn't been good. Sharon drew into herself more and more, certain she would never be happy and would never trust a man again. Jack had been the safe pick, and that hadn't worked. Her marriage had been a failure. Their love life had never been magical, and she'd just accepted that was the way it was. She knew she'd grown bitter. She didn't trust men, and she demanded control, mostly because she had never had any. Jack had called the shots for years, and even after he left her, he'd continued to stick in her mind. Yes, he'd done a number on her, and she had not recovered.

Sharon sighed when she glanced to her clock radio. She'd been driving over an hour now, and Hannah was just starting to stir. For the first time in years, Sharon felt the weight of her failed marriage being lifted with every mile she drove away from Los Angeles. It had been Jack's city, and even he'd left it. She'd moved here for him, and now, she was moving to Flagstaff for herself. She'd tried to explore herself in Los Angles by dating a little, or really, just sleeping with a couple men. That hadn't worked. She'd made mistakes there, as she'd told Emily. She'd let them get close, and yet, she'd learned something with each man. She'd set a lot of ground rules for Andy while on the road, rules he was happy to stick to because sleeping together was enjoyable for both. It was fun until she felt herself wanting more, wanting Andy. Then, it wasn't fun. She couldn't lose control, not again, so she'd sent him away. That should have been the end of it, but then, she'd ended up pregnant with his baby. Oh, she was so torn about all of that, even now. He'd made her feel things she'd never imagined when together. Their brief times together, she'd never felt that with Jack. It was odd to her, and she didn't fully understand it. Feeling that with Andy was dangerous. She couldn't risk it. He was dangerous and carried more baggage than she did. She'd gotten the best of him in Hannah, and when Hannah was grown and asked about her dad, Sharon would tell her daughter she'd liked the man more than she could admit. The two, though, weren't meant to be.

Hannah started to make her sweet noises, and Sharon started to look for an exit. She needed a break. Hannah needed to be fed. Both needed to regroup before they continued the drive. Yes, she was on the move, and she just hoped that by going back to Arizona, her home state, she would finally find herself.