Dear Students,
Once again I have more rules for you that I know you will completely ignore.
622. There's no such thing as a Zombie Flamingo that burps the alphabet every full moon and it hasn't eaten Voldemort.
622a. No you are not allowed to create one.
622b. Because you wouldn't just use it against Voldemort.
623. You cannot buy a million pieces of chewing gum using Professor Snape's money.
624. Not allowed to declare the rules don't apply to you because have a pet cat named Henry.
625. You cannot send money to Sirius Black so he'll transform into a dog and bite Lucius Malfoy.
625a. Especially if the money isn't yours.
626. Not allowed to sing Bad Blood by Taylor Swift at 4 am.
627. You will not tell Voldemort that he should call himself Lord Awesome.
Sincerely Albus Dumbledore.