Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Harry Potter.
Dear Students,
As Dumbledore is suffering from a rather terrible cold it is my duty as Deputy Headmistress to inform you of the new school rules.
628. Never again is any student to utter the sentence "I will have revenge, no one makes me do homework and gets away with it.
You're at school you have to do homework, get over it.
629. If a student is, for whatever reason has plans to make a clone of Lord Voldemort you will tell a Professor immediately.
Not wait 3 days and then announce it to everyone in the Great Hall.
630. You will get into trouble when you create hybrid monkeys that can fly.
Especially when they attack people and steal their favourite scarf.
631. "I had to leave Hogwarts because I wanted to get autographs from Death Eaters." is not accepted as an excuse.
631a. Not allowed to leave Hogwarts to get an autograph from any known Death Eater.
632. Not allowed to release dangerous animals inside Hogwarts to try and get everyone to work together.
I swear to Merlin if I get bitten, scratched or chased around by another thing, I swear I will transfigure the person responsible into a teapot.
633. There will be many questions asked about why a werewolf and a vampire are locked in a cage in the middle of the Hufflepuff common room.
634. You will not create bizarre theories about why there's never any mention of Lucius Malfoy's mother.
She was not cursed to become a Goblin at night, nor did she run off with a House Elf.
She wasn't murdered by a member of the House Elf Mafia.
There is no such thing as a House Elf Mafia.
Professor McGonagall
AN: I have decided that for my 500th reviewer to write a one shot for them.