Andy didn't waste any time walking across the street. He almost ran, but he didn't. Provenza, who hated to run or even walk briskly, kept right by Andy's side, and the two continued toward Sharon who was walking down the street toward them, but she wasn't looking at them, not until the men reached the sidewalk and started walking toward her. They'd found her; it was definitely Sharon.
"Now, calm down and be rationale," Provenza grumbled as they walked toward her. "Who am I kidding? You've not been rationale with this woman from the start."
Provenza looked at Sharon, as did Andy, and Provenza could mark the moment she spotted the two men. Her expression didn't change; she didn't look shocked or surprised, but she almost paused in her walk, almost. He had to hand it to her; all her years in FID were paying off now. She kept a blank stare at the men as they reached her. Provenza noticed she had on a winter coat, open, only because she was wearing Hannah in one of those baby contraptions. He could just see the top of Hannah's head, which was covered with a hat. Her arms and legs were covered by the coat.
"Captain," Provenza spoke quickly and first, nodding at her, as the group met on the street. She looked well, at least as much as he could tell.
Andy just stood there, staring at her and then at Hannah, again, what little he could see of her. Sharon nodded to Provenza, but before she could speak, Andy cleared his throat, as if he hadn't spoken for years.
"We found you," Andy said in a rather quiet tone. He looked to Sharon, and for the first time, their eyes met. He gestured at Sharon and Hannah, "I'm really glad to see you."
"I wasn't hiding," Sharon blurted out. "I didn't know I needed to be found," she said, and as she looked at Andy, he rolled his eyes at the comment. She clarified, "I am not hiding. I've moved. My personal life is just that, personal."
Andy nodded, "Sure, and I know you are going to say that I'm not part of that now-your personal life- because I signed your papers. I get it, but I do want to talk to you. Look, I'm not here to stalk you."
Sharon nodded and pursed her lips, "I know. If I was worried about that, I would have taken care of it long ago. I would have gotten a restraining order back in L.A. or even after moving here. I've known you long enough; I know it's not your style. You don't give up, not on anything. I've seen that at work. I've heard you discuss it with your personal life, with your kids. I'm not sure why I thought we would be different."
Andy just stared back at her, not sure what to say. He hadn't expected her to say that. Truthfully, he'd expected her to yell or be clearly upset he and Provenza had found her, but she was almost sounding rationale.
"Captain, I think what Flynn here is trying to say is that he's concerned. Honestly," Provenza chuckled and looked back to Sharon, "I can't believe I'm saying it, but even I'm concerned. No one expected you to retire, and we certainly didn't expect you to retire so abruptly and move. I think that's what Flynn wants to say," he looked up at Andy who was still looking at Sharon and Hannah. "Flynn?"
"Exactly what he said," Andy gave a small shrug. "Look, I'm not here to take Hannah or anything. I've been trying to figure it out, and I guess I just wanted some answers, even some closure. Signing my name might seem like closure to you-to most people, but it's not the closure I'm talking about here. In my mind, I would have seen you and Hannah at work, even from a distance. It was like a kick to the gut to hear I'd not see either of you again, EVER. I wanted to check on you both, to just talk. I also wanted to speak to you about some health issues, not with me, but with my sister, things you should know. Look, I never thought you'd just be gone, and it's left me a mess. I just want to talk. Gavin wouldn't tell me where you were."
She nodded, "I know. He told me about the conversation."
"Ahh," Provenza raised his eyebrows, "which is why you don't seem surprised to see us here."
"True," Sharon pursed her lips. She glanced at Andy, but then she turned back to Provenza, almost to answer him. "I am not trying to hide, but just move on with my life. I'm not surprised you found me, maybe a bit surprised to see you here on the street this morning, but I knew it was a matter of time."
"Look, Sharon," Andy tried to get her attention. "Can we talk? I was prepared to get a cup of coffee this morning, which," he turned briefly toward Provenza, "we didn't get, and I was going to leave here without finding you and go home. It's fate, I believe, we did find you. I was planning to come back in January, after you started work. I just want to talk, please." Sharon looked down at Hannah and ran her hand over her, Sharon's coat still covering her. Andy watched and gestured, "How's Hannah? Is she okay? Are you both okay?"
Sharon continued to look down at Hannah, and then she glanced up at Andy, "She's just perfect," she gave him a small smile and a slight shrug. "She really is. And, as far as my moving, I really just want to get a fresh start. I hope you can understand that. Several people in my life have mentioned my decisions seem hurried, and I do see that, but sometimes, you just need to go with what feels right."
"You two have certainly done that," Provenza mumbled under his breath and shook his head and he tried to turn away. He knew he was in the middle of the conversation, and he just needed a chance to excuse himself, that is, if she was going to give Andy a chance to talk.
"Gavin," Sharon nodded and continued, trying to just ignore Provenza's comment, "did tell me when you came to him. Frankly, I'm surprised it took that long to circulate in the building, but I wanted to leave like that. Let's be honest-no one in that building was sorry to see me go. It was simple to walk away now, and while you might not understand it, I do. Gavin called me after you spoke to him. He told me he gave you my note."
"He did," Andy nodded. "I made a copy of that picture and keep one in my wallet and have one on my nightstand. That picture is everything to me, but like I said, I know what I signed, and I'm having trouble with that now. I just felt like things were so abrupt. Ever have someone just drop out of your life?" Andy asked. He continued, "You know what it's like when maybe a loved one or friend dies suddenly, like there were things unsaid, or you just wish you could have one more conversation? You feel like it was so unexpected that you would have said so much more had you known. That's how I feel. So, if it's at all possible, I'd really like to sit and talk."
Sharon looked down at Hannah and then back at the two men. She cleared her throat, "I'm late for work."
Andy and Provenza glanced at each other, and Andy gestured with his hand as he spoke, "Wait, I thought you didn't start work until January?"
She gave a slight shrug, "I'm working downtown here," she gestured toward the shop down the street from where they were standing. "I'm working at the flower shop. I know," she let out a nervous laugh, "sounds crazy, but it's been very enjoyable. The job just happened. The woman who owns the shop needed some help and loves Hannah. She even put up a portable crib for Hannah. It has been good for me. Otherwise, I think I'd just be at home, day after day, thinking about too much. It's good for me to work, to meet people and socialize. Hannah has done well too. She's sleeping better now that she's getting a little older, and we are getting into a routine."
"I'll wait," Andy said quickly. "If you have a break, I'll wait."
"Captain, I can certainly watch little Hannah if that's a concern, and you do want to talk," Provenza offered.
Sharon turned to him and gave him a slight smile, "Thank you for the offer, Lieutenant, but she stays with me. I'm not ready to just let go yet."
"Understood," Provenza raised his hands in defense. Andy looked between them and then back at Sharon.
Sharon looked at the ground, "Gavin also said that Hannah was lucky," she let out her breath. "He said Hannah was lucky because she would be a very smart little girl, that you had certainly put together the clues quickly. I suppose you were listening to me, all those talks we had."
"Of course, I was," Andy said. "Gavin wouldn't give away your location; he's a good friend, but I was always listening, Sharon."
She hummed slightly and looked up again, this time up at him, "I've tried to put myself in your position, and I'm sure it's hard. Your comment about wanting one last word with someone," she nodded and continued, "I understand that. I know I was rude to you before, that I put a lot of this blame on you when it was a shared blame, so yes, I've finally come to grips with the idea we can talk."
"Look, I'm going to give you two whatever time you need," Provenza said and started to step away from them. "Honestly, I've just been here to make sure Flynn doesn't do something stupid again or in a situation he finds himself under arrest."
Sharon glanced back at Andy. He sighed and shook his head, "I don't want you thinking I'm here hunting you down, not in some creepy way. I had to see you were okay and just try to talk to you. There's a lot I want to say. I'm not going to be following you, hiding in bushes, trying to catch glimpses of Hannah all the time-that's not what I want. Do you think you can find time to talk with work?"
"All I have to do is speak to Helen, my boss," she clarified, "and we can talk, briefly."
"Then, I'll leave you two," Provenza said and took another step back. "Flynn, I'll just be in the coffee shop," he nodded to where they had been standing earlier.
"Sure," Andy nodded at him and looked back to Sharon. "Where would you like to talk?"
She gestured with her head, "I work at the flower shop just up the street. There's another coffee shop next door. We can talk there."
"Whatever you want," he said to her. "May I walk there with you now?"
She glanced at him, taking him in up and down, "As opposed to standing there and waiting? Yes, you may."
Andy raised his hands in defense, "I just don't want to seem like I'm pressuring you. I'm really not. I can't tell you what a relief it is to be talking to you. You changed your phone, too, which would have been a start, at least with me."
She pursed her lips as they walked, "I know you think I hate you and just want you gone. It's not that. I've been dealing with a lot myself, somewhat of an identity crisis. I've been trying to figure out who I am now and what my life is. Hannah was a complete surprise, as you know. I told you in my letter that we just want to be happy. I want that for you too. The paperwork, that was all to make this easy, to break ties, to let each of us go our own ways. I lived through 18 years of each of my children seeing what a disappointment their father could be, and I took that to heart with Hannah. I'm possessive, yes, but anything I'm doing, it's something I've learned from experience."
Andy just listened, but he was also looking at her as she spoke. He had tried to get a look at Hannah, but he could only see the top of her head in the carrier with Sharon's coat over it. They walked slowly, almost unsure if they were going to sit and talk once they reached the coffee shop, but he continued to look at her.
"And, I've told you what a crappy father I've been," Andy said quietly as he put his hands in his pocket. The two walked slowly. "All I have ever known is being a crappy father, hearing how bad I am from my ex-wife. My kids have little to no interest in me, but I keep trying. I suppose signing the papers sounded easy because I didn't think I could ever be better, do better, but all I want to do now is try."
"You did sign the papers, though," Sharon pointed out to him. "Legally, I owe you nothing."
Andy paused, which Sharon then stopped and turned back toward him, her hands around Hannah in her protective stance. He nodded and looked to the ground, "I'm aware you owe me nothing. I'm sure that is what is keeping me up at night. You expect nothing; I get it. You got nothing for over 18 years with your ex. I just want to talk, to be something, at least today, right here. I am something. I'm not dead yet, and I don't want to give up hope."
