Sharon looked around the room and smiled. It had been a good day; it was a great day, in fact. She had all of her family here together, to celebrate Christmas with each other. She looked over at Emily, her beautiful, now grown daughter and college graduate, laughing and smacking at Ricky. It was the picture of sibling behavior, the two teasing each other as they had done since they were toddlers. Ricky, her now middle child, was growing up, too, in more ways than one. He was well over six feet tall now with an appetite to prove it, and he was growing up in the eyes of the real world with his college classes. Sharon and Ricky had spent a good deal of time during this trip talking about his future plans, about his interests, and about different job opportunities. It was wonderful to talk to her, once immature son, about his "grown up plans" as she had joked with him. Her babies, all of her babies, were growing up right before her eyes.
Sharon, then turned toward her youngest, sweet little Hannah. She glanced back at Emily and Ricky and rolled her eyes at the scene; Emily was sticking her tongue out at Ricky and giggling while Ricky was groaning and shaking his head. The two were obviously in a silly mood, neither one ready to admit they had missed the other over the last few months. She looked back over at Hannah, spoiled rotten Hannah, propped on her mom's lap, just taking in all of the noise and movement. Hannah was smiling and babbling, the drool running down her chin; that had been a recent development, Hannah drooling. Sharon loved just how happy Hannah was most of the time, but she also glanced at her older two children and frowned, realizing Hannah would grow up almost like an only child. While she would have an older brother and sister, she more than likely, wouldn't have that close sibling bond. There was nothing Sharon could do about it, other than to encourage her adult children to remain close with their little sister, but the thought did cross her mind. She looked back over at Hannah and her mom, both smiling. Hannah had been almost the best gift for Christmas, if she could be considered a gift; Sharon's mom hadn't stopped smiling when in Hannah's presence. There was no question the little surprise was a welcome addition to the family and very much loved. Sharon's parents had gone overboard too with the Christmas gifts for Hannah, almost treating her like she was their only grandchild, but no one seemed to mind. It was sweet, and Sharon, again, looking around the room, just shook her head at the enormous pile of gifts, all for Hannah, that now had to somehow travel with her back to Flagstaff.
"Sharon, everything okay?" she heard and spun her head around to meet her mom's gaze. Sharon's mom was sitting across the room from her, Hannah on her lap, and Sharon just grinned at the scene with Hannah sitting there on her mom's lap, grabbing at her own feet, trying to pick them up. That had been her fascination lately.
"Everything is wonderful," Sharon gave her mom a genuine smile and did the same with the kids who had stopped talking to see if there was a problem. "In fact, I'm sitting here just thinking about what a wonderful Christmas this is, how I am so glad to be here with all of you this Christmas."
"We are so glad to have all of you here too," her mom smiled back at Sharon. "We missed you last year when you were on that depressing work trip. I still can't believe the man you were transporting back to California ended up dying."
"Hmm," Sharon nodded. Her mind started to drift at the mention of the trip. It drifted to the events of the trip, mostly to what she had done on the trip, what she AND Andy had done on the trip. Sharon glanced back at her mom and Hannah, and when her eyes landed on her daughter, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. What she had done on the trip, or shortly after the trip, was staring back at her, drool and all. Yes, she had a daily reminder of that trip, a reminder she hadn't specifically shared with anyone in her family. Sure, if her family had done the math, and she was sure her mom had, she had probably figured out that Hannah was conceived around the time of the trip, but Sharon had never mentioned any of the circumstances surrounding Hannah's life story, to include no mention of Andy. She needed to keep it that way.
Andy. He was a thought too, or if she was honest, he was probably more than a thought. She was finding it harder and harder to look at Hannah and not think of him. Hannah looked more like Andy each day, at least she thought so. The eyes were the culprit; her daughter had Andy's eyes. They were striking, so much that her parents had commented on how beautiful her eyes were. Sharon had never mentioned to her parents that Hannah had her father's eyes. She just didn't want to go there, to discuss Andy because while she'd agreed to be civil, he was not in the picture.
As she thought about it, Sharon realized she hadn't heard from Andy. After he'd left her doorstep now a couple weeks ago, he'd gone home, and she had to admit she had been terrified he would start calling her all the time. He hadn't. She'd been a nervous mess those first few days after he left, just waiting for him to call, or really, dreading that he would call, but he hadn't. He'd kept his distance, and she respected that. She really wasn't sure what game he was playing now, but she still wasn't sure she could trust him. She certainly couldn't trust him in Hannah's life, at least not yet, not until she figured out what he really wanted. Sharon had never had any luck with men; they had always wanted something from her, and she was still having a hard time believing Andy Flynn was any different.
"Well, little missy, you need a diaper change," Sharon heard and turned her head back to her mom. Sharon had been daydreaming a lot over the last few days while in Phoenix. She couldn't help it. Christmas was her favorite time of year, and it really brought out her sense of occasion. She smiled up at her mom, who was now standing with Hannah in her arms. Sharon stood too and smoothed over her pants.
"I can change her Mom," Sharon put her arms out, offering to take Hannah from her.
"I'm sure you can, at least I hope you can. Someone has been changing this baby for the last four months, and I would like to think you know how to do that. I can do it this one time. I'm perfectly capable," her mom smiled at Sharon and patted her arm.
"I've never heard two people argue about changing a baby's nasty diaper," Ricky grimaced and started to chuckle.
Sharon paused by her son and put her hand on his shoulder, where he was sitting on the floor, "If you are volunteering for diaper duty, I am sure your sister would be thrilled. We can tell her when she's 18 about how her big brother, Ricky, loved changing her diapers."
Emily burst out laughing and pointed at Ricky. He frowned and shook his head, "Ahh, no thanks. I think I'll get a glass of water. Grandpa want anything?"
"I'll take a cup of coffee, Ricky. Do you know how to make it?" he asked.
Sharon had to use the back of her hand to cover her mouth. She loved that her dad still saw the kids as just that, kids, but she did find it funny that often her dad didn't realize the kids were grown and could do normal things, like make coffee.
"Sure, Grandpa," Ricky flashed a grin at Sharon, the joke one they had discussed before. "I can make coffee just fine. Anyone else?"
"Might as well make a full pot, Ricky," Sharon's mom said, smiling at him. "We'll drink it. It's still the middle of the afternoon. Now, I'm going to get this baby changed. She might be ready for a nap."
"I sure am," Emily said, stretching out on the floor. "Whoever decided on Christmas lunch, nice work. I'm glad we ate early. My food can digest now, and I can get in a little nap."
"Well, while the majority of you are busy with various things, Mom, I'll go with you to change Hannah," Sharon stated with a nod.
"Sharon, I do know how to change a diaper," her mom frowned.
"I know," Sharon nodded and chuckled. "She is ready for a nap, and well," Sharon shrugged, "I did come here to see you too. I'd enjoy chatting with you while Hannah gets ready for her nap."
Sharon and her mom walked gingerly around the room. The place was full of Christmas gifts. Her parents had gone overboard with gifts, and she chuckled at the stacks as she walked by them. One stack had a pool theme, with the thought that Sharon would bring Hannah to visit over her spring break in March. Their retirement complex had a pool, and now, Hannah had a variety of baby pool floats to use. They'd bought way too much, but Sharon hadn't said anything. She knew her parents were delighted with their youngest grandchild, even if the details surrounding her existence were a little hazy. She glanced up and saw her mom watching her. She smiled at her and gestured for them to walk down the hall.
Her mom nodded, and the two women walked to the back of the small house to the spare bedroom where Sharon was staying with Hannah and Emily. Her parents had moved to this retirement community now several years ago, and at that time, had significantly downsized their home. They sold the family home and had bought this small, two-bedroom home. It was the right size for the two of them, but tight when Sharon and the kids visited. Now, it was rare for all to visit at the same time, but when they did, they just adjusted to the tight quarters. Ricky would sleep on the couch, and even some evenings, Emily would too, especially if the two stayed up late watching a movie. Thankfully, Hannah was a good sleeper and was sleeping through the night. She was sleeping from around 7 PM-7 AM, if Sharon was lucky, but most of this trip, she had been getting up closer to 5:30 in the morning. It hadn't been a problem because Sharon and her dad were early risers. Now, Hannah was about ready for her afternoon nap, and Sharon was thinking she might rest too while Hannah slept.
"Your father and I have certainly enjoyed having you and the kids here, Sharon," her mother said as she worked on Hannah's diaper. Sharon just smiled, looking at her mom at the makeshift changing table area. Her parents had a desk in the room, one where they paid their bills, and Sharon's mom had bought a portable changing table pad to put on the desk while Sharon was visiting. Sharon sat on the bed, watching her mom work, and she smiled when Hannah turned her head toward her and started to smile.
"I'm so happy everyone could be here together. It's been a wonderful Christmas," she nodded. "Really wonderful," she added and swallowed.
"Last year, I know it was rough for you. I could hear it in your voice. It seemed like you were so lonely, and that case," she shook her head and continued, "dreadful for a man to die right at Christmas."
"Yes," Sharon nodded, noting her mom was really focused on that topic. "It was hard on everyone involved."
"Hmm, it must have been really hard on you too, newly pregnant back then," her mother eyed her as she snapped up Hannah's little Christmas outfit. She was wearing a sweet little romper all in red with white and red striped sleeves that said, 'Baby's First Christmas.' The family had all commented on the sweet outfit, and Sharon had held back rolling her eyes after each comment, knowing Andy, of all people, had purchased the outfit for Hannah. Of course, he had. She had a bone to pick with him about the gifts for Hannah, but that conversation would have to wait until she had some privacy. Sharon looked up, baffled, at her mom's comment and gestured with her hand.
"Mom, I wasn't pregnant with Hannah on that trip. Remember, she was early," Sharon pointed out.
Her mom hummed, the same hum Sharon often used, and she turned again and eyed her, "If you weren't pregnant on that trip, your Christmas certainly couldn't have been that lonely. Sharon, we've never discussed the specifics of Hannah's arrival, but a mother is not stupid. I'm not going to ask because if you had wanted me to know, you would have told me by now, but I can do math, and in this case two plus two over the holidays equals a beautiful granddaughter right here in my home."
Sharon's eyes widened, and she looked away from her mom and at Hannah who was still lying there on the table, starting to squirm. Sharon looked up at her mom again and found her mom looking at her. She just gave her a small shrug and roll of her eyes, before she stood and put her hands out for Hannah.
"The past is the past. Hannah is my future, and she's just an amazing gift for all of us. She's changed our lives, and you, as well as I, know things happen for a reason. So, with that also in mind, I'm going to put her down for a nap. If she doesn't get a nap, she will be a mess this evening. None of us want that. I just want to remember this as a wonderful Christmas. We all deserve that."
"And, we will do as we often do," her mom patted Sharon's shoulder after Sharon picked up the baby. "We will agree to talk without talking, to say without speaking. You and I have a way, my daughter. I understand you more than you know. I will say this, that the participant in this," she gestured to Hannah, "with you, well, at least you have good taste. Little Hannah is a beautiful baby with the sweetest personality. I'm glad she is here too." Her mom squeezed her arm and walked to the door. "You both get some rest. Rumor has it my daughter, the college professor, starts her job soon."
Sharon called out to her mom as she started to close the door, "I'm not a professor! I'm just lecturing," she sighed when her mom ignored the comment and closed the door anyway. Sharon held Hannan on her should and turned to kiss the baby on her cheek.
"Have you had a Merry Christmas, my sweet girl?" she whispered as she started to slowly walk around the room. The room was large for a spare bedroom, but it was tight now with her things, Hannah's things, Emily's things, the furniture, and the added travel crib. Still, she had enough room to walk back and forth as she tried to get Hannah ready for a nap. "I've had a wonderful Christmas with you, my angel. Mommy loves you so much. You look so sweet today, and your hair is getting even longer. What am I going to do with it? You'll be the first baby on her first birthday to have a long ponytail," she chuckled as she used her hand to smooth down Hannah's dark hair. It wasn't that long yet, but it was thick and filling in more and more each day. Compared to her two bald babies, it was quite the change, and Sharon was just astounded at how much hair Hannah already had. She loved how soft it felt and how cute the baby looked with it all combed. "As much as I don't want to admit it, your outfit is one of the cutest things I have seen. Even I have to agree Mr. Andy has good taste," she said quietly and put her hand on the back of Hannah's head. She felt Hannah rest her head on Sharon's shoulder and start to wiggle. This was her trademark move when she was tired, and Sharon knew that if she kept walking around right now, Hannah would fall asleep quickly. She ran her hand over Hannah's head and thought back over what she'd just said. She'd called him 'Mr. Andy,' and that felt odd to her. Calling him anything but a one-night, okay, she rolled her eyes, a one-week mistake, seemed odd to her. She appreciated he hadn't contacted her since he'd found her in Flagstaff. That had been refreshing, and she was finally starting to relax about the situation, but still, the situation was anything but easy or settled. She continued to walk around, thinking about 'Mr. Andy.' Well, that's what she could call him with Hannah, if, in fact, he hung around at all. Sharon had finally gotten over the idea of just calling him Lieutenant Flynn or just Lieutenant. She'd admitted that sounded absurd after repeatedly sleeping with the man. Calling him anything else to Hannah wasn't right either because he had signed away his rights. He WASN'T her father, not in the legal arena, and he certainly wasn't the one raising her now, walking the halls with her at night. No, that was Sharon, all Sharon, and all by her choice, but she had to admit that 'Mr. Andy' had good taste, at least when it came to baby clothing.
As Sharon thought about things, she continued to walk, now in silence. Soon, she could feel Hannah relax and then, she could hear her little snores. She tried, unsuccessfully, to keep from laughing, but hearing an infant snore was extremely funny to her. It wasn't even a snore, really, but these little grunting noises Hannah would make when she settled into sleep. Sharon walked her back over to her travel crib and carefully put Hannah down. She smiled at her and stepped away to walk back to the side of the bed. She sat down and watched her sleeping baby, the smile widening on her face as she continued to look at her. Oh, she was a gorgeous baby. She had so much to be thankful for with Hannah. A year ago, her life had seemed so set, working for a few more years, and then retiring. A year ago, she'd been so focused on letting herself live, on living for the moment. A year ago, she'd fallen into bed with Andy, more times than she wanted to admit. Her mom knew it too, even if she didn't know the man involved or details of last Christmas. Sharon was grateful her mom had left their conversation at the admission of knowing the timing and hadn't asked more. She didn't want to explain it and wasn't sure she ever would. Andy was floating around in her life, but she wasn't sure he would ever be so involved she would have to explain him to her parents. She couldn't think about that now. It was all too much; she was still trying to wrap her head around the idea he wanted to be involved. She wasn't sure it was a good idea, for Hannah or herself. She needed more time to work it out, but for now, she was just grateful he'd left her alone these last few weeks.
With a sigh and possibly a little bit of guilt, she dug her phone out of her pocket. Part of her mind was telling her to take the picture, and part of her heart was telling her to stop. She didn't know what to do, but she decided to be kind. She hadn't been to him, and he had already bought more for Hannah than Jack ever had with Emily or Ricky. She quickly snapped a picture of Hannah sleeping. Sharon laughed as she looked at it, Hannah, sprawled on her back, her arms out to the side, as she slept. It was almost as if she was on display, telling the world to look at her new outfit. Sharon pulled up his number, one she had reluctantly saved to her phone, and she took a deep breath as she typed out the message.
"Thank you for her Christmas outfit. She's been the talk of the day, and obviously, all of the attention has exhausted her," she typed and quickly hit the send button before she had a chance to reread and revise the text. She heard it send, along with the picture attachment, and she put down the phone to watch her sleeping daughter. She was tired too; the last few months had been exhausting, but she was about ready to finally start her new job. It felt great, now, getting settled and into a work routine. Sharon slowly inched her way back to the head of the bed where she rested her head on the pillows. She crossed her arms over her stomach and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure how long she dozed, but a text message woke her.
"Merry Christmas, Sharon. Hannah looks like a beautiful angel there. I've thought about you, about last Christmas, often today. What a year it has been." She reread the message several times, waiting for him to send more, to finish his thought. That was it? What did all that mean? He wouldn't just end there, would he? He'd been thinking about them? It wasn't like she was going to admit she'd had thoughts of last Christmas too. She had, of Andy, in her hotel room, of the two of them, doing things she couldn't describe in the presence of her infant daughter. If Andy had been thinking about last Christmas, he'd been thinking about her, about them, about sleeping together. That hadn't been their first time, last Christmas; it also hadn't been their last. It had been a whirlwind of a day, a night, of a trip, almost an awkward time. He'd invaded her personal space, well, in more ways than one. Yes, he'd slept with her as she'd invited him to do so, but then, he hadn't left that day. That was something she hadn't thought through with the invitation, that inviting him to her beach hotel would also include him staying-staying all afternoon, evening, overnight, and into the next day. That had been almost too much for her, having a man around after they had had their fun. He'd wanted to eat with her, had even suggested a walk on the beach, but no, that had been too much. That had sounded like a relationship, not just a one-night stand or two consenting adults for the night. It had scared her, and she had tried to hide away from him, which was difficult in a hotel room. She'd sent him out each time they'd finished, and she rolled her eyes at that thought because they had enjoyed quite the time together. She'd avoided him at all costs on that trip, not wanting anything more than a good time, and she'd walked away from it, pregnant, with a permanent reminder of Andy Flynn. Sure, she couldn't pinpoint Hannah's conception on that day or night, but it had come from that week together, whether Christmas or New Year's Eve or somewhere in between. Andy had changed those holidays for her now, forever, and as she heard her text message alert, she had a feeling she knew who was sending her another message.
She sat up, almost wanting to deal with these text messages from Andy alert and awake. She looked to her phone and was pleasantly surprised to see that Gavin, not Andy, had sent her a message. It had now been 15 minutes since Andy had sent her that message, and her mind had been wandering the whole time. Was that really it? Was he going to leave it at that? He certainly was perplexing her. She was afraid that sending Andy the one picture of Hannah would appear to be an invitation to start a texting conversation, but thankfully, after a simple reply to her message, he hadn't sent her anything more. She refocused to read the message Gavin had sent her.
"Merry Christmas to my best friend! I'd call, but I don't want to pull you from your family, at least not today. I'll talk to you plenty, soon enough. Check your email because your Christmas gift is there. XOXO Gavin."
She read that message again, still not sure she was fully awake and switched over to check her email. What had he sent her over email? It must be a gift certificate of some sort. She'd sent him a framed photo of Hannah and herself, something, as she rolled her eyes, she felt he would like more than even the restaurant gift certificate she'd also included. He was not Hannah's father, but he certainly doted on her daughter like a father would. She watched as her email downloaded a few messages, the most recent one from him.
"Sharon, you will come up with a million reasons not to use this, and none of them are valid. I've covered all the bases, and just remember that "Uncle Gavin" is very resourceful. I expect you to use this, and I will be deeply offended if you don't. I would suggest talking to your parents and kids about this. I already did just that, because, as you know, your family loves me. I expect a Christmas picture of that baby. The one you sent as a gift is great, but I need my daily update."
Sharon scrolled down to see what he'd sent her, and she gasped when she read it. He'd included a plane ticket to Los Angeles for her, and it was dated two days from now. She groaned and shook her head. Yes, his birthday was coming up. Leave it to Gavin to have a New Year's Eve birthday. She hadn't forgotten; she couldn't forget. She was planning to send him his favorite expensive wine, but she hadn't ordered it yet. This "gift" he'd sent her for Christmas required a call, not just a text reply. She stood and checked on Hannah again, noting she was still sleeping. Sharon slipped out of the bedroom and into the hallway where she quickly called Gavin.
"A plane ticket!" she almost exclaimed when he answered.
"You're welcome," he said happily into the phone. "You, Missy, were not around for all of my birthday last year, and I'm not going to let you out of it this year. You were doing other things, or rather, other people that night."
"Gavin!" she scolded him for being so blunt. "Can we NOT discuss him?"
"Certainly, I'm happy to just talk about you and me. Yes, I might be selfish in that I sent you a plane ticket here to spend my birthday with me. Now, it's all been settled. While I love little Hannah, she's not invited. I already checked with your kids and parents. They all agreed you could use a little break, and Hannah will be just fine for two days with your parents. You said you aren't breastfeeding her, so that's not an issue. Your parents love her almost as much as you do. So, yes, you will get on a plane and get yourself to Los Angeles where I will not let you out of my sight. We will go to the spa, go to dinner, sit up talking all night, and we will do some shopping. That is your gift to me," he explained.
"Hmm," she nodded. "Yes, I can't wait to finance this trip."
"I didn't say anything about you financing it. I'm rolling in it, as we both know. I'm not ashamed to say it, and that's part of the trip. It's all on me," he explained.
"So," she gestured with her hand in the air, "explain to me how your birthday is you pampering me?" Sharon chuckled at the idea.
"We will both be pampered. I need you here to enjoy it with me, and I'll enjoy dressing you up while we shop and having someone to drink with me. It's going to be fabulous," he said. "No excuses. Hannah will be fine, and work isn't a factor. You were going to sit there in Phoenix the next few days, wasting away at that retirement village. You might be retired, but I'm not losing you to shuffleboard and bingo just yet."
Sharon burst out laughing, and she ran her hand across her head, "Hmm, sounds like quite the trip. I can't believe you did all of this. You really spoke to my parents?"
"Hmm, I did. I don't know why you are surprised. You know they consider me their personal attorney, and I know they told you they added Hannah to their will. I might not live near them, but I can offer advice when they need it. They are raving about my friend there in Phoenix to handle their affairs locally."
"Yes, they do sing your praises," she nodded. "I'll talk to my parents and see if we can work this out."
"Oh, no, no," he said quickly. "There is no 'work this out' type of excuse. It's worked out. They are on grandparent duty, and you are a single mom on the prowl. You will get on that plane, and I will meet you in my new sports car at the airport, my gift to myself. Ticket is non-refundable, so don't make me regret buying it."
"Thank you, Gavin," she smiled into the phone. "I'll see you in a couple days. I guess I should go and discuss my travel plans with my parents."
"You should," he told her. "Don't pack much because I'm sending you back with a full suitcase. Bye, Love," he said to her and hung up the phone.
Sharon leaned back against the wall. She just shook her head and smiled. She'd made a wonderful, lifelong friend in Gavin. He was a good man and loved her. She was going back to L.A. for a couple of days. It would be odd, going home, but it wasn't her home. As she thought about it, she nodded to herself. Yes, it would be good. She would enjoy her time with Gavin, and it would be nice for her parents to spend time with Hannah. She pushed herself off the wall and started down the hall, ready to discuss her travel plans with her parents, who apparently, knew more than she did.