Never had he hated hearing the phone ring as much as he did now. He'd been called out to a lot of late-night crime scenes, but nothing compared to this moment.
"Ignore it; it's probably Gavin," she said quietly, and as much as he wanted to ignore it, he couldn't. It had ruined the moment.
He continued to try and ignore it, but the once dark room, now had a faint light glowing from the nightstand and an even more annoying ring that continued. The ringing wouldn't stop, killing the mood completely. She reached over to silence it, aware it was clearly distracting things, and as she did, she got twisted in the sheet. She pulled the sheet with her, and as she moved, he tried to follow her movement in the dim light. He wasn't sure how her phone had ended up on the nightstand, but somehow, in the heat of everything, it had been left there.
While Sharon continued to deal with the phone, Andy flopped back on the bed, and put his hand over the back of his head. He could hear her as she tried to silence her phone. He sighed. The timing could have been worse; it could have been better too. Gavin could have left Sharon alone just for the night, one night, so he could spend this time with her, time he never dreamed of having just an hour ago. He wanted to kill Gavin right now. The guy had the worst timing. He closed his eyes, trying to savor the moment, trying to enjoy the silence they'd had in the room, trying to remember every detail, but Sharon brought him out of his thoughts.
"It wasn't Gavin," she said, sounding almost horrified. He sat up slightly, his elbow propping him up, and he looked over toward Sharon. She'd been so set on the lights staying off, the curtains staying completely closed, he could barely see her, but he could now see she was sitting up on the side of the bed, wrapped in the sheet, staring at her phone. He moved toward her and looked over her shoulder as she shook her head at her phone. He kissed her shoulder, and she shook her head again, this time at him.
"It was my mom," she said as she sighed. "She and my dad are watching Hannah. I need to call her now," she said. "Something could be wrong."
Andy put his hand up on her shoulder and squeezed it as he kissed her shoulder again, "I'm sure everything is okay, Sharon," he said quietly as she started to dial her phone. She glanced at him, the small light from the phone the only light allowing the two to see each other.
"Please, she can't know you are here," she pleaded with him. He just nodded and kissed her shoulder again.
"Call your mom," he encouraged and then chuckled. "I feel like I'm sneaking around in high school. This sounds like a high school movie, silenced in a bed while the mother is called."
"Mom," Sharon said into the phone, and Andy quickly schooled his laughter. He put his head back on the pillow, now just behind Sharon as she sat there still on the side of the bed. He understood Sharon's rush to call her mother, but he also had a feeling Hannah was okay. She was in good hands with Sharon's parents, even if he'd never met them, and as Sharon spoke, he could tell everything was okay, so while she spoke to them, he started to run his hand over her back, first over the sheet, and then, he pulled it down slightly to run his fingers over her bare back. She was wonderful, even after everything. She had a lot going on in her head, but when she let herself just relax and stop thinking, she really was amazing. He'd seen it before, and that is one of the things that continued to draw him to her, something almost intoxicating to him, like a fatal attraction. She made him feel alive, and he couldn't remember feeling as he did with Sharon with anyone else.
"Hannah did what?" Sharon said suddenly and loudly, causing Andy to stop his hand motions and sit up again. He started to lean over her shoulder again, as if that would give him more information. She shook her head at the notion, and instead, he leaned against the headboard to sit behind Sharon. "She rolled over? I missed it," Sharon said, finishing her sentence deflated. "Oh, she's been trying to do that for quite some time now." Andy listened and smiled at that. His baby girl, little Hannah, had hit a milestone. He'd heard about it with Sharon; they were sharing this moment, even if they weren't with Hannah. "I'm sorry I missed your call. I was just resting here. I must have fallen asleep," he heard her try to explain. He started to lightly chuckle, and she elbowed him quickly and easily as he sat right behind her. He stopped laughing and started to rub her shoulders, feeling the tightness in them. He hoped she would be okay with everything, with the two of them together. It was unexpected, at least to him, but he wasn't complaining; in fact, he was thrilled. He cared deeply for Sharon, and he'd been realizing it more and more over the last few weeks. Yes, she'd tried to push him away, but he knew she had a lot of internal struggle and hoped she just might lower her walls to let him in.
"Video chat, now?" Sharon said with a question. Andy raised his eyebrows too, not that anyone could see it. He didn't know what was going to happen with Sharon's mom, but the moment, at least for now, had ended. He left Sharon there to continue speaking to her mom and slipped out the side of the bed. He really needed to get some light in the room, but the window was across the room from where he was. He felt around, trying to find any part of his clothing and finally grabbed hold of his pants. The room, he could tell, was a wreck. Once they had finally closed the door, Sharon hadn't wasted any time. He had moved quickly too, checking two more times with her for confirmation that this was what she wanted, and finally, as she pulled him to the bed, he let his emotions take over as well. They'd both been enjoying everything, living for the moment, and then, her mother had called. Yes, it was good news. Hannah was growing and changing.
"Okay, Mom, sure," Sharon nodded. She hung up the phone and glanced toward Andy, who was now walking to the window to open the curtain just enough to give the room light. There was a light by Sharon too, but he wanted to give her some space. He had a feeling she would soon realize what emotional doors they had just reopened. "My mom is intent on video chatting about Hannah. I am so happy she rolled over, but my mom cannot see me like this. I want to see Hannah, but I cannot, for obvious reasons, connect to her video chat."
"If you just let your mom connect hers, can we both see her? She's rolling over?" Andy asked, now walking closer to the bed where Sharon was still sitting there wrapped in the sheet.
"Hmm, she is," Sharon nodded. The video chat alert sounded, almost causing Sharon to jump. Andy moved to sit by Sharon, and she allowed the video portion to connect so she could see her mom and Hannah, but her mom couldn't see her. "Mom, my camera isn't connecting," she said and quickly added, "oh, hi, my sweetheart." Sharon brought one hand up to her chest, and she melted when Hannah appeared on the screen. Her mom was sitting on the floor with Hannah, who appeared to be playing on her little play mat.
"Sharon are you there?" her mom called to her. "I can't see you."
"Mom, I'm here," Sharon said rather loudly and shook her head. "My camera isn't working. I can see you and Hannah. Oh, she's so beautiful. I miss her so," she sighed.
"She's rolled over twice. I called you after she did it the first time. Your dad just fed her, so I'm hoping she doesn't burp out her bottle rolling around like this," she chuckled. "She has been so frustrated all afternoon, trying to roll over, and she finally did it tonight. I've been doing like you asked me to do and making sure she has plenty of tummy time. Anyway, after I tried to call you, she did it again. She rolled over again, so it's been two times in the last few minutes. Let's see if she will do it again."
Sharon listened and nodded, almost like her mom could see her. Andy reached for her hand and squeezed it, almost surprised she allowed him to do so, and the two sat in silence as they watched Hannah on the floor, making her small noises in almost frustration. Suddenly, as if almost yelling at a play on a sports' channel, Sharon said, "Oh, oh, she's about to roll over! Oh, come on Hannah," she said to the screen. Hannah let out a high-pitched squeal as she expressed her frustrations, and then, in swift movement, she flipped herself over again."
"Oh, she did it!" Sharon exclaimed. Andy squeezed her hand, and he bit his lip trying not to say anything and embarrass Sharon with her mom. "Oh, Baby, that was great," she said to Hannah. Sharon's mom returned to the screen.
"I didn't want you to miss it. I'm sorry you didn't see it the first time, but she's officially rolling over."
"I'm glad you saw it, Mom," Sharon sighed. "My little girl is growing up."
"I don't know what to press to see you, Sharon," her mom said to the screen and continued, "all this technology."
"Mom," Sharon sighed, and then, Hannah started to cry. "I am glad you called. I'm sorry my camera isn't connecting."
"Oh, she's tired and frustrated now," her mom said with a small smile. "I'll let you go for now. We're going to get her a bath and start getting her ready for bed. She misses you."
"I miss her," Sharon said, as she clutched her chest again. "I'll see you tomorrow early afternoon."
"Be safe, Sweetheart," her mom said. "We'll see you tomorrow."
Sharon pulled her hand away to end the phone call. Andy sat there, in silence, as he allowed Sharon a moment to process things. A lot had happened in a short amount of time. He was surprised, when of all things, Sharon started to cry. He turned to her and wrapped his arm around her as she cried.
"I missed it," she said between sobs. "My beautiful little girl is growing up, hitting milestones, and I missed it. I was instead, here, not taking care of her, doing something that was selfish and not focused on her."
"Hey," Andy said quietly as he pulled her to him, Sharon with her hands on her face still, "she is with your parents. You aren't going to miss everything. She will have plenty of milestones. I'm sorry you missed it in person, but we saw it together, Sharon. We. You and I, Hannah's parents. We saw it. Your mom called. That's how I've felt about all this. Maybe you can imagine how I feel about so much of this now," he said as he pulled back to look in her eyes, the sheet still tightly wrapped around her. "I want to see all the moments too, to be part of these moments. I know it's hard to believe, but as much as you love her, I love her that much too. You are not here being selfish. You were here for work and left her in the care of your parents, people who also love her. This," he gestured to the room, "this is you living and letting yourself be happy. You are a mom, yes, but you are also a woman, a woman who can't feel guilty for living. This doesn't have to be something terrible. There's a reason we were drawn together before. Sharon, there's something here, between us, and I think you continue to fight it. There's a reason we have this chemistry, why we almost can't get enough of each other. I feel something, and I'm pretty sure you do too, at least if you let yourself admit it. Sharon, this wasn't just a roll in the sheets for me, another conquest," he gestured with his hands. "Yeah, sure, I've had plenty of those, and honestly, the first time we were together, back on the road, I'm pretty sure we both thought that was all it was, just two people needing that release. I think it quickly became more, at least for me. I think you know it too, and that's why you want to keep me at a distance."
Sharon looked down and shook her head as she wiped a tear. She sighed, "I think we need to just forget tonight, put it behind us, leave it for what it was. This was just easy," she shrugged and looked up at him. "It's been over a year for me, Andy. Gavin has been on me to get back in the game as he says. You seemed like the safe choice," she shrugged. "It was what it was. It doesn't change the fact that I'm not sure about Hannah, about how you should be involved with her. I'm trying to keep this separate in my mind, that you being in her life is different than an evening in bed with me, that trusting you in my bed doesn't mean I have to trust you with Hannah. This was just," she nodded as she thought and continued, "just what I needed. I can walk away from this; you can walk away from this, but Hannah is different. Feel free to finish getting dressed and leave."
Andy looked at her, wanting her to meet his gaze. He sighed and dropped his head as he looked to the floor. Sharon stood and pulled the sheet with her.
"I'm going to freshen up in the bathroom," she said. Andy reached for her hand, and she didn't pull it away. He stood and looked at her as he squeezed her hand, "I would really like to stay. You try to push me out every time we are together, and I think you are scared to feel anything. I'd like to think we could do that again," he said as he gave her a small smile. "I want you, Sharon. I haven't wanted other women in some time. No one compares to you, and I'll keep saying it until you believe it. This isn't just about Hannah. This is about me, wanting you, the mother of my daughter. I don't see you as a one-night stand; I see you as the mother of my daughter, a woman I want to be with romantically. This is me saying I messed up by signing that stupid piece of paper. I want to be with you, however you will have me. We have an undeniable chemistry, and I want more of it. I want more of you, this," he gestured. "I can't seem to stay away."
She teared up again, "I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want for Hannah. My life has been filled with clouded judgement. I thought Jack wanted me. He never did. I thought Jack would be there for the kids, even after he left me. He wasn't. I trusted my judgement then, and I'm having trouble trying to do that now. The physical aspect," she shook her head, "I can handle what I want and keep it separate from what Hannah needs in her life, I think. For now, I'm going to use the bathroom," she said as she stepped away from him.
"I'd like to order some dinner for us," he called to her. She stopped walking, but she didn't turn around to face him. She listened, though. "I'd like to spend the night here with you, your last night in L.A. and just be with you. For once, I'd like to share a meal with you, to curl up with you in my arms, and I'd like to make you remember every moment of the evening. I'd like to send you back to Arizona, happy, relaxed, and remembering me, here, the man trying to please you. If you want me to go, I'll go, but that's what I want. I'm spelling it out tonight, and I know I've already told you that, but I'm telling you again. I'm letting you make this choice. You don't want to discuss Hannah? Fine," he waved it off. "We can leave her out of this," he gestured between them. "This isn't about Hannah, this physical attraction we have right now. If you say you are leaving tomorrow, give us one night. We've been pretty great all the other times. This," he nodded back to the bed, "was also pretty great. Let's enjoy the night, tonight. Let me stay, and when you leave tomorrow, you will have these memories, wonderful memories we can create, to take home and think."
He saw Sharon take a deep breath, and then she took another step toward the bathroom. He stood there in only his pants, pleading his case, and then, as she was about to walk into the bathroom, she nodded to herself and quietly said, "I'd really like that cheeseburger, please."
Andy placed the order, making sure Sharon would get her cheeseburger and onion rings. He ordered fish for himself, deciding he was hungrier than he'd thought. The evening was taking a toll on him, and he hoped Sharon would listen and let him stay for the night, the whole night. He wanted to be with her, in all ways, and he finally felt like she was beginning to deal with the feelings he knew she had. He couldn't force her to do anything, especially regarding her feelings, but he could spell it out for her. The fact was she was physically attracted to him and had been all along. She'd pulled him into the room, this time and every single time. She'd suggested their arrangement. She'd wanted him, and he knew now he definitely wanted her. She'd initiated things, once again, and now that she had opened that can of worms, he was ready to address their relationship mess head on tonight.
He'd tried to walk away tonight. He really had. Standing in the hallway, he'd watched the door close on her, and he had turned to walk away. As he sat on the bed, thinking back to that moment, now, just over an hour ago, he'd basically given Sharon an ultimatum, even though she was the one who'd tried to give him an ultimatum. He was aware, just as much as she was, this little game tonight was not about Hannah. This was about feelings between two adults. Hannah was a separate topic; Andy knew it, and Sharon did too. She had tried to say any unspoken arrangement would be over, but the reality was she didn't want it to end. It was clear to him that she believed he would just follow her into the room again, doing what she wanted under her guidelines. He'd thought about it, and as much as he'd wanted to follow her, he'd watched the door close. Walking away from her, from a night with her, wasn't what he wanted to do, but he knew letting Sharon walk all over him was not the answer either. He felt the need to push back a little, to show her he wasn't just a puppet she could order around. He stood there in the hallway a moment, almost unsure if he'd made the right choice, and then, he had turned and started to walk down the hall, the image of Sharon walking into the room, taking off her clothing, stuck in his mind. He was almost halfway down the hall, when he heard a faint calling.
"Andy," he heard. He stopped walking; he knew who was calling him. He knew who was behind him. He wasn't sure what would happen if he turned around, but he also knew that he'd made his point. If she was calling out to him, he'd called her bluff, and she was now, almost giving him a peace offering. Before he turned around to face her, he took a deep breath, knowing that this moment was going to be some type of turning point. What that meant, he wasn't sure. He turned, and he almost melted when his eyes met hers.
She was standing there, looking so vulnerable, an expression he hadn't seen on her, at least not that he remembered. She had put on clothing; she was wearing a white hotel robe, and she was holding it closed now. Sharon had come after him. She hadn't let him walk away, and now, as she stood there looking at him, all he could do was look back at her. His eyes met hers, and she gave him a small shrug.
"You are walking away," she nodded to herself.
He shook his head at her, "You can spin it how you want." He stepped closer to her, so he wasn't yelling or airing their drama to the whole floor. "I figured you would say that, and you would blame me for this. No, you can't. You want me to just wait for your beckon call, to do anything you ask. I'm not going to do that. You told me you've been with other men, that things didn't work out because of them. Maybe, you are destroying things. You told me that you wanted these one-night stands because it made things easy. You know, that was okay at first. With Hannah, the stakes are now higher, not that I'm bringing her specifically into this, but the fact is her presence in our lives changes things between you and me. I'm not like other men now. I'm connected to you through Hannah whether you like it or not. I'm more than a one-night stand when it's convenient for you. I wanted to walk into that room. You have no idea, no idea. I wanted to follow you, but I will only come in if I'm staying to order breakfast. You want me? Well, I want you too, and it's all night or nothing. You aren't going to get what you want tonight and send me home. I get a say too, and I want you to see me as more than just a guy, just some random guy.
She didn't say anything, but she nodded. When her eyes met his, she nodded again, and then, she extended the olive branch. She reached for his hand, as her eyes met his. She nodded again, and then, he finally took her hand and followed her.
Now, as he sat on the bed, letting her have her alone time in the bathroom, he continued to think about everything. It wasn't like he expected things to magically come together. In fact, one thing he wanted to discuss with Sharon was her trust issues. He'd started seeing a therapist over a year ago, and it had done quite a bit of good for him. He wanted to ask Sharon if she'd thought of doing the same, of talking to a professional. He knew it could help. It had helped him, and he was hopeful if she started to open up, to see that she cared for Andy, maybe, just maybe, she would allow him to spend time with Hannah too. He wanted to be with both of them; yes, he knew that, but he was trying to tread lightly. It would end badly if the relationship he wanted with Hannah got in the crossfire of his relationship-if there was one-with Sharon. Yes, he knew it could all blow up on him, but life wasn't easy; the lines weren't always drawn in the sand. He realized that he ultimately wanted Sharon and Hannah, but things might not work in either relationship. It seemed simple, wanting to be with your own daughter and her mother, but nothing was simple. She technically wasn't his daughter, per the paperwork. Sharon wasn't sure she wanted Andy in Hannah's life or her own, but he felt she was almost ready to stop running and start trusting. Hannah deserved both of them.
His sweet baby, he just shook his head as he thought about her. He grinned as he pictured her rolling over again, the frustration on her little face. He adored her dark hair. It was sweet on her, and he still saw Sharon in Hannah's gorgeous eyes. He knew Sharon was trying to protect Hannah. It was admirable, but he had to show Sharon he was different; he wasn't going to hurt Hannah, and he certainly didn't want to hurt Sharon either. He wanted to be there for Hannah and Sharon. He was trying to keep his thoughts on the two separate because they were two complicated issues. Yes, it was possible to love his daughter and be civil to Sharon. He believed that, but lately, he'd been toying with feelings, that today, seemed to rise to the surface. He now believed he could love Hannah and love Sharon. He also didn't want to risk ruining his relationship with Sharon and further straining things with Hannah. He understood Sharon was wanting to protect herself and Hannah. She wasn't there yet, the realization he was now addressing. Andy wasn't sure she ever would be, but he believed she cared about him; her coming after him in the hallway proved that to him. As he'd told her, SHE had always pulled him into bed. The first few times had been born of a lust, but he felt things changing last Christmas and last New Year's with her. He felt her pushing him away so quickly, trying to send him away, was her attempt at no contact, no interaction, no relationship between the two. He remembered she had told him, with other men, she'd allowed herself to get too involved; she was just looking for some fun. He had been looking for fun too, but he'd fallen victim to his own plan; he'd fallen for Sharon.
Andy looked up when the bathroom door opened awhile later. He was still sitting on the bed. He'd added his undershirt to his pants, knowing the room service cart would be on its way and had cleaned up the room somewhat. The bed was somewhat presentable, and he'd picked up all their clothing. Sharon looked at him as she walked across the room, the awkward tension still in the air.
"I ordered dinner," he told her as he watched her walk. He wanted to close his eyes and memorize every movement she made. He quickly added, "I'm going to pay for the room service."
Sharon paused by her suitcase, clad in now a towel she had wrapped around her with a second towel on her head. "That's not necessary."
He watched her as she looked to her bag and started to dig through it, "I was going to bring you something to wear, but I didn't want to dig through your bag."
She nodded at his statement but continued to look through her bag. She, then, looked up at him again. "So, room service?" she paused and looked to him, expecting him to read her mind. He shook his head, and she continued, "I take it your ordered yourself something to eat?"
"I did," he told her. "If you really want me to go, I'll leave," he said and stood for emphasis. He stepped toward her, waiting for an answer. "As I said before, I'd really like to spend the night with you, to explore this more. Do you want me to leave?"
She bit her lip and looked to the ceiling before she shook her head. She looked back at him, giving him a solid answer, "No, I need this tonight," she said with a single nod. "You and I do have a chemistry, here," she shrugged, "together. That doesn't mean what goes on between us changes anything else I'm thinking. I feel you are safe for this," she gestured to the room. "We do have a good chemistry, and I just need to live tonight."
"So, I can stay?" he asked, stepping closer to her, his voice low in almost a whisper.
She held up her clothing, now wrapped in almost a small ball, "You can stay, and we can continue all of this," she gave a small sigh. "I'm going to change into something more appropriate."
He nodded to her towel, "I have no problem with that, even with you losing that," he gestured to where she had it pulled tightly together. She blushed and shook her head as she looked away before she held up the clothing bundle again.
"Gavin is like a Boy Scout," she explained. "He's taught me over and over to always be prepared. I always travel prepared, have been traveling prepared," she nodded and continued, "for awhile now. Let's just say in my shopping spree with him, he bought me this," she nodded to the clothing in her hand. "I think it will be nice," she nodded and swallowed, "different, something to enjoy this evening, and it will make me feel attractive. I don't feel attractive."
"I don't know what mirror you are looking in, but it's clearly broken," he said with a soft smile. He put his hands on her shoulders and added, "I've told you I think you are beautiful. So, Gavin," he nodded to her things. "That might answer my question." She eyed him, and he looked over toward the bed, "Today, tonight," he clarified, "was this your plan all along? Was it me? Was it going to be some guy from the bar? Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to do so, but I am curious. I'll tell you that I've slept with a couple of women since we were last together. Each one was a disappointment, Sharon. Tonight, though, it's not a disappointment."
Sharon pursed her lips, and then, she let out her breath, "I wasn't exactly planning this, with you, tonight. I had planned to make this a quick trip, to get in and out of L.A., to see Gavin and go home. Running into you, why it didn't surprise me, I didn't then plan to bring you to bed. I feel like it just happened, just evolved. Even on the elevator, I wasn't plotting this, but when we were in the hall, something just clicked. It did cross my mind, or rather, Gavin kept putting the idea in my head, to find anyone. At some point, tonight, though, I realized I didn't want just anyone. I wanted you, here." She didn't wait for an answer. She walked back to the bathroom, and Andy turned to watch. The woman was killing him with every move. She reappeared a minute later, clad in what was a new silk chemise and matching robe, one that almost took his breath away. It just looked perfect on her, expensive, probably costing more than he would spend on groceries for the month. It also looked amazing on her. He gave her a small smile.
"Well, I am going to insist on answering the door for room service because tonight, I want this look all for myself," he said. Their eyes met, and she shook her head at him.
"Tonight," she nodded. "We enjoy tonight. Tomorrow, I am going home. Anything more, I'm not prepared to think about right now."
