He sat on the couch and just looked around the room. It was a mess. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. He could hear her in the bathroom; the sink was running. He really hoped Gavin did have half a brain to stay away right now. It would be rather uncomfortable if he came back to the room in the state it was in, in the state he and Sharon were in at the moment. Andy sighed and stood, looking for his own clothing. He didn't want to put his dress pants back on right now and remembered he had a pair of his gym shorts sitting on his bag. He moved just inside his bedroom area and found those before he returned to the small living room area. He saw Sharon's dress on the floor and gathered it for her. He really wanted to talk to her, and he was afraid if he waited, she would come sweeping through the room, gather her things, and leave. He didn't want that; he didn't want that at all.
Andy stood at the door and listened. She was still running the water, so he knocked lightly. She opened the door to face him, and he gave her a small smile.
"Do you need to get in here?" Sharon asked. "I'm sorry I'm hogging the bathroom."
"No, it's fine," he raised a hand and gestured to her. She'd put on one of his dress shirts, which he'd hung on the back of the door last night when he'd returned from the funeral home. She'd buttoned it partially but was working on scrubbing her face and freshening up now. "I brought you your clothing," he handed her the dress, "or I guess, some of it. Your other things," he started to say.
"Thanks," she took her dress, nothing he hadn't picked up her bra or underwear. Oddly, it felt very personal for him to have that and just nodded at him. "I'll go out and get my other things. I suppose it's rather a mess out there."
"Yeah," he said as he lowered his head to scratch the back of it. "Sharon," he said and looked up at her, the sadness on his face.
She met his gaze and briefly closed her eyes as she shook her head. She finally cleared her throat and looked at him, "This really helped. I can't make my pain go away, but I needed this. Thank you."
Andy rested his arm against the door frame as he looked at Sharon. She turned off the water and looked back at him. He was having trouble focusing with her standing there in his shirt. She only had three buttons done on it, and he was holding his hand back from reaching over and unbuttoning the rest, even though he wanted to talk to her about what had just happened. Unbuttoning her shirt wouldn't help; it would start things AGAIN. Right now, he needed to focus. Sharon must have been able to read his mind because she moved her hands to button another button.
"Leave it," he raised his hand toward her, but he didn't touch her. "You don't need to be self-conscious around me. I've told you that I think you're gorgeous. Your legs, your whole body," he nodded at her.
"I need to go," she said, ignoring his compliment.
Andy sighed and looked away, but he turned back to her, "I don't like this, you leaving like this."
Sharon took a step toward him and clasped his hand in hers as she looked at him, "I'm not upset, at least about this. The last few days have been a blur, and I feel this numbness inside from losing my mother. You helped with that here. It was one last time."
"That's what you always say," Andy said, looking pointedly at her. He wanted to yell, to fly off the handle with her comment, but he knew she was not in a place to argue about it now. "I don't like you leaving like this, Sharon. It's always another 'last time' with you until the next time. You excuse it like that. It's always I have to go right away, or you have to go. That's always the end of it-until the next last time. Just now, I feel like I took advantage of you being in a bad place right now. Sure," he sighed and looked up before he spoke again, "it was great. Actually, it was wonderful, but you have so much going on in your mind. You get up and leave, each time, saying it's the last time. We get into this hurried frenzy, and that's it, barely making it out of our clothing or whatever room we happen to be in for that time. I know I've had the reputation of the one-night-stand guy. That's not something I'm disputing, but with you," he looked back at her and found her just listening, no anger or expression of any kind on her face, "it's different now. The stakes are different. You aren't a one-night-stand. You aren't a lot of things. I just don't know."
Sharon put her hand on the counter to almost brace herself as she faced Andy. She gave him a small shake of her head, "I can't predict the future, but I can't promise this isn't the last time either. I can only say things with us are, are," she paused and looked up, "complicated. And, Hannah," she said and shook her head.
"Hannah isn't part of this," he gestured between them, "not this aspect. I mean, she is, but she isn't. I don't like you just running out or pushing me out," he sighed. "I don't want that."
She met his gaze; her facial expression changed as she tilted her head and pursed her lips while she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she looked at him, "I do have to leave tonight. I cannot stay overnight."
"I know that," he shook his head. "That's not it, not all of it."
She took a step toward him and put her hand on his chest. He looked at it, her soft, delicate hand on his chest. He hadn't put on a shirt yet, so he just had on his athletic shorts he'd found on his bag. Sharon moved her hand up and around his neck, as she pulled him in for a kiss. The two stood there kissing. Andy loosely put his hands on her waist, and when they pulled apart, she put her forehead against his chest. Andy kissed her head as they stood there, the silence speaking when they couldn't. Sharon reached for his hand and took it in hers. She squeezed it, and he looked into her eyes. She broke contact and took a step back, as Andy started to sigh. She was leaving. He raised his eyebrows when she started to slowly unbutton the buttons on his shirt and gave her a small shake of his head, trying to figure her out, what she was doing. When she had finished with the buttons, she reached for his hand again and clasped it in hers as she tried to nudge him.
"For now, I can stay. I need to leave soon, but," she took a step toward him, leaned up, and they met in a kiss. "For now," she repeated again, "we take things slowly this time, here, she nodded to his room, "in your room. It won't just be about my pain, my grief," she said quietly to him and leaned up to kiss him again. He leaned his head against her then.
"It's not just about that," he said quietly.
"I know," she kissed his neck, "but it's what I can handle now, being here, with you, before I have to leave. It will be different, not what it was like in the living room or most of the other times."
Andy looked into her eyes. He kissed her and started to kiss her neck. She pulled on his hand, and he turned to follow, as she flipped the switch, turning off the lights as they moved into his hotel bedroom. She said it would be different this time. He didn't know what that really meant, but this was Sharon. It might be the last time.
Almost an hour later, the room was silent again, dark and silent. Andy glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand and saw it was getting late. She would have to leave, but he hated to wake her or move her. It had been different, in some ways. She was asleep on his chest now, Andy certain some of the gravity of the week's events finally catching up with her. She was sleeping soundly; that was different. She hadn't jumped up to leave or told him to do the same like other times. That was different, yes. He didn't want her to leave, but she would. She'd go back to her family. Her family. He'd go back to L.A., and right now, he didn't know what that would mean for the future. He knew this time should be the last, for real, the last. He knew he was getting too emotionally invested and couldn't stand the idea of ruining things because while Hannah was not part of their physical relationship, she was part of their relationship. Down the road, if things ended badly with Sharon in the bedroom, that could, and he knew would, affect things with Hannah. He didn't want that. He'd tried to convince himself that wouldn't happen, but really, who was he kidding? It would. Sharon had too much on her mind to deal with this now. He wanted her, and he knew she didn't want him. Well, she did; she wanted him in her bed whenever it was convenient, but that had to stop. It wasn't just a matter of convenience for him. He felt too much now for Sharon.
Andy continued to run his hand up and down her back. He couldn't deny he'd very much enjoyed being with Sharon this evening, both in the living room and in the bedroom. The bedroom had been different. It hadn't been the frenzied mess so many other times had been, and that's what was bothering him now. He felt things for Sharon this time; he'd been feeling them, but this time, it seemed like there had been a shift in things, a change in the dynamics. They'd kissed; they'd held each other, and it had almost felt romantic. Almost. It had been more than just a roll in the sheets. All their other times, he felt, had been building to this. He was in deep. He knew it.
"Hey," he said softly as she shifted. She froze, and he continued to run his hand up her back, "It's getting late. I know you need to go home. I don't want to wake you, but I also know the last thing you want is your family calling you, wondering where you are."
Sharon hummed, still in a dozing state. He hated this, waking her and sending her home. Her kids would worry. Her dad would too, and no one needed that. Right now, Gavin walking in on them was the least of his worries because at least Gavin had an idea what was going on with them. Her family didn't know Andy even existed, and with everything else, Andy couldn't cause more problems for Sharon.
He kissed her head, "I'm glad you stayed," he whispered. He pulled her closer, if that was possible, and she moved her arm. She was almost draped over his chest, and with the movement, she started to wake up and look at him.
She finally opened her eyes, eyes he was able to see better without her glasses. Even in the dark, the very dim light, he felt like he could really see into her eyes. She rested her hand on his chest and put her chin on it, "This was," she paused and shook her head.
He kissed her head when she didn't finish and said, "I know. It was. I'm glad you stayed," he repeated.
"I need to get home, to Hannah, to my family," she told him.
"I know," he said and kissed her head again as they quietly talked. "I'm going home tomorrow, but I'm thinking of you. You call me for anything; I'm a good guy who cares Sharon. I know we're in an odd situation," he sighed.
Sharon shifted and finally sat up, pulling the sheet with her. She looked at him with her tousled hair, "I feel a lot better, at least for tonight. I know grief hits in stages, at any point, but I'm okay right at this moment. You have asked what you could do for me, and this, this was what you could do."
Andy sat up too, letting her have the sheet. He reached over and turned on the light, so he could see her better. Sharon tugged at the sheet. He reached over and tugged it away.
"You really are beautiful, Sharon. I know you don't believe me," he told her.
Sharon looked away, looking around the room. Her shirt, or rather, his shirt, was on the floor again, as it had been quickly discarded after they stepped out of the bathroom. His gym shorts were somewhere in the room too. "I was never appealing enough to Jack. He made that clear. Now," she sighed and shook her head, "I'll never lose this weight."
He tugged on her arm as he leaned over to kiss her shoulder, "I'm sorry about that. I don't even see it. I see a mother, and I mean that in a very good way, a sexy way. I see a woman who carried not one, but three babies. I made one of those babies with you, and I see your sacrifice. It's beautiful. I know you hate the extra weight, but I don't see it. I have extra weight," he tugged on her hand trying to get her to chuckle. "All of mine is from Provenza, listening to that guy and all the stress that comes with it. Yours is at least for a good cause, the best type of cause. You carried babies. I think that's about as beautiful and selfless as you can get."
Sharon glanced at him, but she didn't say anything. She looked away again and changed the topic, "I didn't know you bought all that for Hannah. Gavin brought over the few outfits, but that," she nodded to the pile of clothing, toys, and travel crib, "that's, that's almost too much. You were only watching her a few hours."
"I'm not trying to like take her, Sharon," he said quickly, coming to his own defense. "If you think I was buying all that so I could get her from you, it's not that."
She looked back at him and put her hand on his, "I don't think that at all. I finally acknowledge you aren't trying to kidnap or take her. I'm still not sure how to let you be around her. You really bought all that for a few hours? It looks like enough for days."
He nodded, "I want the best for her. I just wanted her to have anything she would need."
"You spent a fortune," she frowned.
He shrugged, "I'd do it again. I'll take it home; you can take anything you want. It's for her. I want her to have it. I want her to enjoy it, and I'd love to sometime see her enjoy it."
Sharon just looked at him, and the silence descended on them again. After a few moments, Sharon squeezed his hand, "I have to go, really. Twice was great, but I can't stay longer."
"I know," he ran his hand over her leg, covered by the sheet. "I didn't come to talk to you in the bathroom to take you to bed, again."
"I didn't come to your room to get you into bed," she said and when he gave her a look, she shook her head. "I really didn't."
"So, neither one of us planned for this," he said and let the words hang.
"It just happened," she said.
"Right, the one last time," he nodded.
"I need to go," she said and moved off the bed, pulling the sheet with her. "The kids and Dad will be wondering where I went for a few hours. I can explain it away, but I need to leave." Andy watched as she wrapped it around herself and then walked into the living room, looking for all of her clothing. She walked back by the room, on her way to the bathroom, with everything in hand. She paused at the doorway again, as he just sat there on the side of the bed.
"Would it be okay if I jumped in your shower? I really need to freshen up. I can't go home like this," she gave him a look.
"By all means," he gestured with his hand. He looked at her and added, "I'll leave you to shower alone. I'll clean up in here."
Andy heard the water turn on, and he busied himself cleaning up the bedroom and living room area. He would miss her, and he didn't know when he would see her, or Hannah again. He wanted to visit Hannah. He hoped to visit her. It took him a few minutes to tidy up the room, hoping Gavin wouldn't comment on anything when he returned. There was no question what had happened. There never was. Andy pulled out a bottle of water, and he took a swig of it. Sharon was almost ready to go. He walked back into the room, and he almost ran into her as she came out, dressed now, her hair slightly damp from the shower. She hadn't washed it, but it was a little wet. She looked more relaxed and not as sad. He took that as her being serious about needing to be with him, to forget everything for awhile.
"Here's some water for you to take with you," he offered her the bottle he'd opened.
"Thanks," she gave him a small smile and reached down to put on her heels. He watched her, and when she stood up.
"I'll be leaving in the morning. Let me know if I can do anything else," he said.
"You've done so much more than you know. You helped," she nodded and cleared her throat, "in a way no one else could," she squeezed his hand. She leaned up and kissed him, repeating it, "So much more, Andy. Thank you for all of it."
He nodded, "Be safe going home."
She continued to look in his eyes, "Ahh, I wanted to ask if you would come by the house in the morning? The kids are flying out early. They won't be there, but I know you want to see Hannah. I know it was hard to watch from a distance, so please, I'm asking if you would come over in the morning, that is, if you don't have to leave extremely early. I'm trying."
Andy looked at her, very surprised. He was sure the surprise was evident on his face, but he just shook his head. Sharon frowned, thinking he was saying no, but he quickly corrected himself.
"I will be there. I mean, I can't, I want-thank you," he finally said. "I'd love to see Hannah before I go home."
"She's up early. If 8:00 is okay, she'll be up until 9:00 or so, when she usually takes a nap," Sharon explained.
"I'll be there," he repeated. Sharon nodded to him and stepped toward the door. Andy reached for her purse and handed to her as he opened the door. She took it and looked at him as she walked into the hallway.
"For a couple hours, I forgot how much I am hurting, am grieving for my mom. Just know you did that. Thanks," she said with a small smile and turned to walk away. Andy stood there, his head against the door as he watched. He couldn't keep doing this. Tomorrow, he could see Hannah. He'd set some guidelines because he needed to focus on her. Sharon was broken and wanted to keep pushing Andy away, wanted to keep excusing their intimacy as always one last time. She wanted to use him to forget about the world, and he wanted to be with her because he couldn't forget her. He now realized Hannah would get caught in the mess if things continued, and as much as he wanted Sharon in that way, he needed to focus on a relationship with Hannah.