Everything is a blur and I've never seen chaos so apparent. I hear growls coming from places where nobody was in the first place. Shadows and flashes of grey dart around the lair and I can't keep my eyes on any specific one without seeing another out of the corner of my eye. They're fast. They're mutants.
I am finally able to see what these specific mutants look like. Their faces are greenish-gray and they have dark circles imprinted into their eyes. Their hands look bony, as if they'd be helpless in a fight, but when they start throwing things like the coffee table around, that observation is proven wrong. Raph tosses a stack of papers at one of them like a Frisbee, to catch it off guard. I'm horrified to see that it flinches back, and then hisses hysterically, pulling his lips back to show a large pack of long, thin, sharp teeth.
They look like something you'd see in a zombie movie; but they don't look like they ever were human. They each have large holes somewhere on their body. Some of the holes in the head, some on their arms and some on their stomachs. The holes are about the size of a golf ball and are so black that I can't be sure that they are even real holes.
"Donnie!" Leo shouts from beside me, knocking over another one of the creatures. "Help me get them out of here!" Before I know it, I am being pushed through the sewers. They are everywhere. Leo manages to fight off a large portion of them, as does Donnie. Every time I reach out to slap one away, Leo exclaims not to. He claims that any given chance to be in contact with me, the mutants will take it. So I stick to being his eyes when he isn't looking.
Once we reach the end of the sewer, I can hear screaming from above.
"Oh no..." Leo hisses. "They're all over New York City."
"Do you think they'll go away once I'm safe in the apartment?" I ask. I'm surprised at how frightened and helpless my voice sounds. I'm feeling a bit light-headed and my voice sounds like I've been crying and screaming for a long period of time—like I just can't speak anymore.
"No. They'll most likely just all show up at your apartment door, trying to get in. I don't think they'll leave until the spree is completely—" I cut Leo off by ducking my head.
"Leo, look out!" I shout, and Leo turns his head just in time to dodge a dart that one of the mutants has thrown. The dart falls to the ground of the sewer with a 'cling', and some of the liquid that is inside of it seeps out and into the water.
"Go!" Donnie shouts. "I'll hold them back for a little bit." As he knocks down some of the mutants that are trying to climb up, Leo and I hurry up the ladder with Benj. Once we reach the top, we help Donnie up too and slam the sewer lid with a 'CLANG'.
It's still light outside, but it's beginning to get dark. It's a wreck everywhere. Cars are turned over, people are running and screaming and police cars are lined up, armed with guns. But nobody looks prepared. How could they be?
"Watch out!" Benj shouts, pulling Donnie and Leo down behind a police car. "They might think you're the bad guys." After a few minutes of hiding, it finally comes to our attention that all these mutants want me, and that isn't good if I'm standing out here vulnerably.
"We gotta get you to the apartment," Don reminds, grabbing my hand. "On count of three, we're going to sprint down the street, okay? Your apartment complex is just down the corner; if you have your key ready, we'll be able to make it to the door without too many problems." I fish the apartment key out of my pocket; and at the moment, it seems like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My entire body is trembling, I'm afraid I'll drop the key.
"It's not even a mile away, okay?" Leo reassures. "We're just going to run. Don't look back and try not to look at any of the other mutants. Looking at them might catch you off guard." The majority of my brain doesn't exactly have any desire to see the other mutants that want to kill me, but another part of my brain does. I still nod, to keep them from worrying.
"One...two...three!" The four of us jump up and sprint down the street. I try to keep myself looking straight ahead.
Don't look at the mutants around you that have your death planned out, and the opportunity to do the honors at the tips of their fingers, I thought. Just breathe and keep running. Don't look back, don't look to the side, just focus on the place that'll keep you safe: the apartment.
After lots of dodging and gasping for air, I finally reach the apartment complex. I look back to find that Leo, Don and Benj aren't all that far behind. I swallow and force myself to rip my eyes away. Just keep your eyes on the apartment, I remind myself. That's the goal here.
I flinch back when I see a Maneuver Man seemingly nailed to the top step. I bite my lip and rush up the stairs, making sure to keep my eyes on him. As long as I don't take my eyes off of it and as long as I don't look into the eyes, I'll be okay. Right?
"Lexi!" Benj's voice calls, and I whip my head around. He holds out his hand, as if to say to keep going. "Keep going—I'll watch him so that you can run." I nod as if to say thank you, and sprint down the hallway. I freeze when I get to the end.
Standing in front of our front door, is Laney. She has a small smile on her face, and her eyes are those two colors.
"Hello again."
I don't respond. I stand there in absolute fear. She's right in front of me; Laney. The girl who has haunted my dreams for the past month. She's right in front of me, and she—along with hundreds of other mutants—want to kill me.
I feel like time is frozen. Somehow, my brain manages to tune out all the screaming and all the running from around me. The only thing I see right now is Laney. Her two different colored eyes are fixed on me, and her expression unreadable.
"Lexi!" A voice shouts, but I can't take my eyes away. I don't know who is calling me, and the more I look at Laney, the less I care. I know that I am in danger right now; but for some reason, it doesn't really matter to me. Selfish, but a selfishness that I can't rip myself out of.
"Lexi, look away now. She's trying to hypnotize you into thinking that you aren't in any danger. Lexi, please; we need to get into the apartment." The voice is right next to me, but I still can't take my eyes off of the girl. I know that she's trying to trick me, but I can't take my eyes away.
"They're coming for you," Laney sings, and my heart quickens. I know that they are coming, and right now at this very moment, I feel like I really can't do anything about it. What is wrong with me? I don't know, and I don't care.
"Stop it! Move out of the way!" Benj shouts, moving forward and shoving her towards the end of the hallway. That snaps me out of it. Before I know it, Laney has snapped out of my view and has my brother in a hold on the ground, where he is half-way hanging off the building.
"No, stop it!" I cry out to Laney, but I know my words mean nothing to her. She thrives from pain. I know that now.
Donnie tries knocking Laney over with his bo staff, to save us time; but her reflexes kick in quicker than any of us expect. She reaches out and tosses his staff right over the ledge.
"They're coming for you," she repeats, this time with grit teeth. "They'll always be coming for you. They'll hurt every possible person they can to get to you. And they won't stop—even after you're dead. You think your death is their goal? Oh no, they have much more planned, Lexi" I glare at her, but inside and out, I am shaking with absolute terror.
I dash for the door, jabbing the key into the lock and twisting it. I know that there is only a matter of time before I will be inside, safe and sound.
I hear a scream.
The embodiment of terror. The kind of scream that chills your bones and shakes you to your core. The kind of sound that is worse than nails on a chalkboard and more heart-breaking than anything you could possibly imagine.
Pinning my brother down with a cold pale hand is a Maneuver man. Benj is reaching forward with one hand towards me and wears an expression of sorrow and pain and terror and everything I've always hated seeing on his face. Everything I always wanted to protect him from.
Something that even my worst nightmares could never conjure up.
"Benj!" I shout, trying to come forward. He notices Laney trying to sneak her way into the apartment far before I do, and trip her. She goes crashing to the floor and lies there for a moment. She is unconscious.
"Leo, help me with Benj," I plead, and Leo gets down to help. The grip that the Maneuver Man has on Benj is as strong and firm. He isn't going to let go any time soon.
"Lexi..." Benj coughs, looking up at me with tears in his eyes. The fact that he is looking me straight in the eyes makes this situation a thousand times worse. Because I know what has to happen. "Lexi, he's got a grip on me. As long as any living thing is looking, he won't let go."
"We'll all look away then!" I say, my voice high pitched and hysterical. "We'll look away and then you can get away and we can get into the apartment; safe and sound."
Benj stares at me and doesn't say anything for a minute. He knows just as well as I do that that won't happen.
"Lexi." His voice sounds scared. More than scared; terrified and horrific. He knows what his fate is; and I don't want to believe it. "Lexi, as soon as anyone looks away, he'll kill me." As soon as the words leave his mouth, I can't help but let a sob travel up my throat.
"No..." I sob. "No, no, I can get him to let go." I look up at the Maneuver Man, shaking my head violently. "Please let him go. Please. This is my brother. My little brother. Please, please, please, let him go. He's my family and I don't want him to die."
I'm crying now.
"Lexi..." Leo says softly. "He isn't—"
"Yes, he will!" I shout, glaring at Leo. "He has to let go. He has to." I let out another sob. "He has to..."
"He won't," Donnie says slowly. "I'm so sorry, Lexi. We need to leave him."
"No!" I shout again. "We're not leaving him! Don't you two see that this is my brother? My little brother! We can't leave him here to die because of something that's my fault. We can't."
"It's not your fault, Lexi..." Benj mumbles. "Please. Go and be safe."
"I promised Mom that I could keep you safe," I cry. "I promised her, Benjamin! I can't...I can't just leave you here!"
"You have to."
"No I don't!" I'm trembling. "I can't and I won't and I don't have to." Most of my words sound like blubbers because of my crying, but I can't stop. My heart feels like it's being electrocuted over and over again and my head is spinning.
"You have to make the decision to save your life," he says quietly. "You have to think about yourself this time."
"You're my brother!" I cry. "My best friend! You can't leave. You can't, Benjamin. Please don't leave me here."
"I'm not leaving you; I'll always be with you. I promise," he says, and the tears continue to stream down my face and all over the ground.
"I hate promises!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Everything around me seems to freeze. "Benjamin, you need to let me save you. Please!"
"Lexi, the other mutants are coming," Don warns, and I can hear the growls and footsteps of other creatures approaching.
"No!" I shout, standing up and shoving the Maneuver Man. "Is this all you can do? Destroy people? Get out of here! Leave my brother alone! Take me if you have to, but leave him! Please!" His sunglasses just sit there as if nothing were sitting behind it, but his eyes seem to bore into mine.
"Benjamin, we're gonna get you out of here," I promise, but Leo is already taking my arm.
"Lexi, they're getting closer..." he pleads. "We need to go."
"Leo, stop it! I can't leave him!"
"You have to."
"No, I don't!" I sob, gripping onto my brother's arm. "I don't have to leave him. I can stay here and die with him! I'll die rather than live without my brother!"
"You aren't thinking straight," Leo warns, pulling on my arm even more. "Please, Lexi. We need to go. We need to keep you safe."
"Nothing will keep me safe if Benj is gone—nothing!" I scream, and I feel myself being pulled back by both of the turtles. "Let me go!" I watch my brother and he looks at me with wide, watery eyes that silently say, 'Go'.
"Please, Benj..." I whisper. "Please don't leave me here."
"I'm not. I'll still be here."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I sniffle. "Please, Benjamin."
"They're coming for you. They won't stop until you die."
"Why is it worth losing you then?" Silence. "Answer me, please! How am I supposed to live without you? Tell me, Benj." I can barely see with all the tears that crowd my eyes, but I manage to see the faint, sad smile on his face. I taste the salt tears that attack my mouth and nose and cheeks.
"You were the best big sister," he says to me, shaking his head. Tears stream down his face so quickly. "Please take care of Rose and Mom and make sure that they know you love them. You taught me everything you could and now I need to teach you something. It'll all be okay. You're strong. Isn't that all you've ever been? Strong? Your name." He laughs a quiet, sad laugh. "You are strong and you always have been." I stare at him, barely even being able to see. "I love you, Lexi. You are my best friend."
Before I can stop it from happening, I'm yanked backward and shoved into the apartment.
"Benjamin!" I shout, reaching out; only to have the door slammed in my face.
He's gone.
He's gone.
My brother is gone.
"Lexi..." Rose's voice barely sounds like anything to me.
Benjamin is gone. And it's my fault.
I collapse onto the ground into a crumbled heap and begin bawling harder than I ever have before. My head feels dizzy, but I don't care. Tears continue to stream out my eyes and I don't bother wiping them. I can't lift my arms. I'm paralyzed.
My entire face feels hot and I can't see at all. I cry and cry and cry on the floor for the longest time I can. Leo doesn't reach out to comfort me—and I'm glad that he doesn't. I don't want him to comfort me because he can't. I don't want anyone to try. I don't want the letters to come in saying, 'I'm so sorry for your loss...Benjamin was a great young man' or his friends from football asking where he had gone to. I don't want to remember the long conversations I had with him about everything and I don't ever want to watch Animal Planet again.
I don't want to remember my brother because he's gone.
He's gone.
No, he isn't gone.
He can't be gone.
He promised.
I promised.
He's not gone.
That makes me cry even harder.
I cry for hours. Hours of hysterical bawling and screaming and kicking everything I can. I manage to push the couch over and rip out nearly half my hair and get my shirt and shorts sopping wet from my tears. I throw the vase of flowers that's on the coffee table and the glass goes shattering all over the floor. I can hear the faint sobs of Rose too.
I almost forget that Benj had another sister. Another person who loves him just as much as I do.
A person that Benj made me promise to take care of.
I reach up, grabbing Rosalie's hand. I pull her down and she doesn't object. She buries her head into my shoulder and cry and I cry into her hair. Her long, silky brown hair that I always thought was perfect. We are not perfect. Especially not right now.
We sit there hugging and crying for what is hours. It doesn't just seem like hours, it seems like days. I've lost track of time. The two of us are wheezing and crying and coughing and screaming and mumbling things to ourselves. We're a wreck.
And nobody tries to break it apart.
I didn't ever love Rose as much as I loved Benj. I'm sad and horrified to admit that. She's my little sister and I should love her just as much.
I can't think straight. All I can remember are his last few words: "You were my best friend."
He was my best friend too.
And now he's gone.
The crying doesn't stop even after the three days.
A/N: OH MY GOSH YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH CRYING WENT INTO THIS CHAPTER. DUDE I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN. I STARTED SOBBING HALFWAY INTO THE CHAPTER.
I have to admit, I had been planning on killing off Benj for a while. I didn't know that it would be this soon, though. But I guess that's how it is to be a writer: you see an opportunity and you take it...because this was the perfect time to kill him off.
And there was a reason that I killed Benj this way. I didn't want it to be something like getting hit by a car or falling off a building or something like that. Benj and Lexi were closer than you could ever imagine. I didn't want Benj's death to be random; I wanted it to not only be heroic, but make it heartbreaking and sudden.
Benj's death was a traumatic thing to happen. He was an innocent kid—the younger brother. But trust me, there is so much more loss and betrayal to come; I'm sorry to say. But Lexi is a strong character; she's supposed to display the fact that not everyone is perfect. I feel like too many times in fanfictions, they make the OC too mary-sueish.
And trust me, Lexi is about to get ugly. A loss that big affects people in specific ways (obviously differently dependent on the person) and you might hate her for a little bit but just remember she is going through a lot of crap. She is not herself because a loss like that literally rips away a PART of yourself.
Lexi isn't perfect. She had to grow up way too fast, and Benjamin was a huge part of her life because so did he. They were closer than you could ever imagine, so naturally, she's more than devastated. She's broken. And she doesn't know what to do.
It's all really depressing in so many ways. This story started out as one based off of romance with Leo and Lexi. But there is so much more to it. Pain and loss and family and friends and hurt and action all contributes to a good story. And that's what I'm trying to create.
In some ways, I still can't even believe what's happened. And neither can Lexi. You'll see that in many ways in the next chapter.
I hope you cried. And yes, I'm absolutely dead serious. I hoped that the tears and heartache that was put into this chapter actually affected or moved someone—whoever is reading this. Honestly; you know what they say: "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader." And yes, now I am a witness that that quote really is true if you're a REAL writer. I guess I am.
So that's that. Thanks for reading my story. Trust me, this isn't the end. I know that the whole 'death of her closest family member' was hard and all. But I'm not the kind of writer who is going to kill off one of the most important characters and then just end it. It has now become my job to fix what I've broken.
I love you all & appreciate you being here with me~