Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place
On what we're waiting for
Friday, 18th of October, 1973
Great Hall, Hogwarts
Ellie stabbed the piece of chicken on her place eagerly, sitting alone at dinner. She had just gotten back from the library, doing all her essays before the weekend, like she was planning to. It was stupid really, she had plenty of time this weekend to do so, Slytherin was playing against Hufflepuff and for some reason she already knew Hufflepuff would lose. Unfortunately.
She sighed, taking some mashed potatoes on her fork. Things have only gotten worse this past week and a half between Remus and her. He hadn't even looked at her and she was starting to wonder if their friendship or whatever they even had, only came from her side. Apparently she was not worth fighting for.
It was even worse when she saw Remus sitting in the library by himself tonight. For one second she bit her lip, deciding if she wanted to sit with him or not. She almost did, the only thing stopping her was her own god damn pride. When they actually locked eyes, her own eyes squinted in anger. It was a natural reaction to do so. In reply, he had unlocked his eyes from hers and turned his puppy look towards his paper again, ignoring her.
Bag over her shoulder, she did not walk towards their usual spot that Remus had occupied in the library. Instead, she searched an empty seat on the other side far away from him. She tried to concentrate on her Arithmancy essay, she did her best but the only thing she was wondering if Remus had the same answers as she did. It would be so easy to walk over and ask, she knew he was working on the same thing as she was.
"Hey Ellie!" A chipper David Hamblin sat next to her at the Gryffindor table, obviously not noticing her chicken-stabbing skills.
"David, hello." She mumbled, eyeing her Quidditch Captain.
"So any bets on the game tomorrow? Who are you rooting for?" He questioned, taking a piece of bread and biting in it with his perfect straight teeth.
"I want Hufflepuff to win but we both know they probably won't." Ellie answered.
"Well, I've been talking to Diggory about strategies to make them win." David grinned, grabbing some pumpkin juice. "You want a refill?" He spoke eyeing her empty cup.
"Yes, thank you." She watched him fill her cup, ignoring everyone around them staring. "And talking strategies with the enemy…" She raised one eyebrow at him, holding back a smile.
He grinned at her, shaking his head, "Well, anything to make the Slytherins lose."
"Sneaky." She grinned, taking the cup and sipping from it.
"So… How have things been?" He whispered, placing his head closer to hers.
The whole school seemed to know that the two of them went on this date. Many of them had seen the two Gryffindors walking around the streets of Hogsmeade holding hands so they assumed that they were somehow in a relationship.
David and her knew better of course, they were still good friends. If not anything, he had come to be the person she turned to for some brotherly advice but the rest of the school didn't know that. They assumed he was playing the charming boyfriend, filling up her cup with pumpkin juice, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
"We're still not talking." She mumbled back a little sadly. "Saw him in the library today, didn't look at me twice."
"He hasn't come to you?" David questioned, a little confused. He didn't understand Remus Lupin whatsoever, he also didn't really see what Eleonore saw in him. From David's point of view, the kid seemed nice and friendly but was also a little dull. He liked books and was more of a quiet one.
The opposite of Ellie really, Ellie was fierce and never held back her tongue. She was an athlete with good grades. She came from wealth but always put other people first and she was absolutely gorgeous. David thought that in many ways, Eleonore resembled him a lot more than she ever would resemble Remus Lupin.
She was an upgrade for Remus, simple as that. That's what David thought anyways. He didn't really know why the girl liked the boy so much. Sure they had been friends for a long time and maybe he would think otherwise if he actually knew Remus well, but he didn't.
David refused to come in between them though, Eleonore was his friend and teammate, apart from his own feelings towards her, he owned it to her to be the shoulder to lean on so when she shook her head at his question, he held back his tongue. "Do you want me to go talk to him or something?" David mumbled back.
"No." She shook her head, "No, please don't. It's not necessary, you don't need to fight my battles and definitely not his."
"Okay then." The Quidditch Captain spoke, noticing the four Marauders entering the Great Hall. "Do you want me to leave and sit somewhere else?"
"What?" She looked confused, finally noticing the four boys entering the Great Hall as well. "No, please stay."
"Alright." David nodded his head, "Hey, do you want to see the match tomorrow with me?"
"Well, I already told Lily I'd go with her." Ellie answered, ignoring the looks the Marauders were giving them when they sat a little further down the table.
"She can come along, I don't care." David grinned, shrugging his shoulders. "It's not a date, it's just a friendly get together." He spoke more quietly towards Ellie.
A hint of relieve went through Eleonore, she knew David knew that she wasn't interested in him like that. That she had someone else on her mind, someone who ignored her entirely, unfortunately. "Yes, okay. Should we meet in the common room around one thirty tomorrow?"
"Alright." Ellie grinned, trying to get the breadcrumbs off her skirt. "I should probably go to the common room and see what the girls are up to."
"Wait, I met up with Amos again tonight, to discuss the final things. I need to get out of here too." David spoke, standing up next to her.
"Still meeting up with the enemy, eh?" She held back a grin, tutting her lips.
David laughed, marching right next to her, "I told you, they're not the enemy."
"Until we have to play against them." She raised her eyebrows at him, watching how he threw his arm around her and laughed.
"THEN they're the enemy." He pointed out, feeling the stares of the entire Great Hall in his back.
Sirius squinted his eyes at the couple leaving the Great Hall. His Quidditch captain seemed to be in a chipper mood when he threw his arm around Darensbourg. If Sirius would have done so, she would have snapped at him to not touch her. He turned his grey eyes towards Remus who sat in front of him, a little depressed looking. "They're not a couple."
"You don't know that." Remus mumbled, not feeling hungry after seeing the two of them.
"I talked to Tina yesterday." James spoke, "Ellie doesn't see David in that way. That's what she said. After she, of course, said that Eleonore was blind and she must be under an Imperius but that doesn't matter right now."
"Darensbourg would have told her friends if David and her were a couple so they're not." Sirius spoke.
"They seemed to be very close to me." Peter spoke, a little bitter.
"Remus filled her cup all the time. That doesn't mean he-" James spoke, before stopping his words entirely. Realization hit him, "David likes her."
"No shit, Prongs, of course he does. But Darensbourg likes Moony." Sirius wiggled his eyes at the werewolf.
"She doesn't. You should have seen the stare she gave me in the library, as if she wanted to hex me into obliviousness." Remus mumbled, throwing his food around on his plate.
"Darensbourg stares at me like that all the time." Sirius waved the accusations away. "You get used to it after a while."
"Look Remus, every day you wait is a day she'll hate you more. Wait a couple of days more and she will actually hex you." James muffled out, his mouth full of chicken and mashed potatoes.
"That." Sirius pointed out, chewing loudly himself. "Is very true and you don't want to be hexed by Darensbourg."
Saturday, 19th of October, 1973
Gryffindor Common Room, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts
Ellie managed to grab the grey wool scarf Minnie had knitted her this Summer. She thought it was a little stupid that the elf knitted one in the middle of August but it seemed to be appropriate now. She had to remember to thank her house-elf when she wrote her parents.
Every day the temperatures were dropping in the Scottish Highlands and Ellie knew it wouldn't be long before Christmas Break knocked on her door. Time always flew by when she was at Hogwarts.
"Are you ready?" Lily grinned, looking at Eleonore who grabbed her knitted gloves. "I think David's waiting already."
"So? It's not even one thirty yet. We still have time." Eleonore spoke, pushing her hair out of her beanie.
"Come on." Lily ignored Ellie's answer and wrapped her hand around her wrist, dragging her towards to Gryffindor Common Room. The blonde Quidditch Captain seemed to be the only one waiting in the common room, it was almost deserted. A bright smile covered his face when he noticed Ellie and Lily stepping down the dorm's stairs.
"Hi girls, you ready?"
"Yes, of course." Lily grinned, watching how Ellie still fumbled with her scarf.
"Let's get to it then." David Hamblin stood up from the couch, casually walking towards the portrait. A cheerful Lily and Ellie in his footsteps. The portrait opened and he stood aside, pointing his arms towards the hole. "Ladies first."
Lily quickly adverted her eyes towards Ellie in an impressed manner as Ellie slightly rolled her eyes, holding back a smile herself at Lily's enthusiasm. Lily quickly marched first through the portrait and just when Ellie was about to step through it, she heard a voice she hadn't spoken to in nearly two weeks. "E-Ellie?"
Her face immediately shot towards the source, throwing her head over her shoulder. He stood there a little awkwardly, his fingers fumbling together, biting his lip. David's head went from Ellie's towards Remus' and for a moment he didn't know what to do. He was awkwardly caught in between the two of them.
"I-I would like to talk to, to you." He croaked.
"You've had two weeks to talk to me and now that it's the Quidditch match, you want to talk?" Ellie snapped, realizing instantly that she might be too harsh on him.
"I-I didn- I forgot about the match. I didn't forget- I just, I want- I want to talk to you now." He couldn't get out of his words, why was this so hard? They had been best friends for more than two years. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He had practiced his words so many times but now standing in front of her, it was different.
"Maybe you should talk to him Ellie…" David mumbled, looking at Eleonore's hard glare. When she turned her eyes towards the Quidditch Captain, she softened her look.
"Fine." She spoke softly, nodding her head. "Go to the pitch with Lily, I'll come when this is finished." She stepped out of the portrait hole, watching how David nodded his head back at her. He gave Remus one last glance before leaving the common room entirely, leaving nothing but silence in between them.
She stared at him with her green eyes, so infiltrating. His eyes were glancing off and away- even after weeks he still managed to look like coming home and she hated that.
The greatest tragedy in love should be jeopardizing a friendship, remaining with someone you want to gift your world to. But this was not friendship anymore, somehow over the past few weeks they had grown apart and an obvious set of clouds that were entirely something else floated over them.
Maybe there was nothing to jeopardize anymore. Maybe her skin was just empty without him, waiting, craving for a touch, a word, warmth. Something. Anything.
"What did you want to speak to me about?" She softly whispered, a lump in her throat. She ignored her own heartbeat.
"I-I want to say I'm sorry." He spoke, looking at his feet, the distant between the two of them still the same. "I didn't mean what I said before about not wanting you around. I want you around. But-"
"But what?"
"Just not… Then." He swallowed roughly, looking up into her eyes once more. He noticed the way they hardened.
"Fine. Is that all you wanted to say? I'd like to watch the game now." Ellie spoke, not even wanting to look him in the eye anymore. It hurt every time she did.
"Are you and David a couple?" He croaked out.
"You're kidding right?" She couldn't help but laugh softy, shaking her head in disbelieve. "I just- Remus, you've made your point clear. I'm going to watch the game now." She turned on her feet, wanting to get away from him. She didn't hear the quick reaction of his feet, she only felt his hand burning upon her winter coat, turning her around gently.
"I haven't made my point clear and I want you to listen to me." He stated, for once in a short demanding voice.
Eleonore didn't recognize this behavior, he had never raised his voice at her. "That's it- Remus, you CANNOT-"
"I can and I will. This has been going on for way too long." He spoke quickly, he almost didn't recognize himself. The constant battle between his own consciousness and the wolf inside him. They were both on the floor rolling around, punching one another inside his head. The wolf had the upper hand, he was winning.
"Remus- LET ME GO." She tugged back her own arm, watching how he suddenly dropped her arm. The wolf just got slapped by his consciousness. She was still standing in between him and the wall.
"Let me explain." He shook his head at her, hoping he didn't overstep his boundaries.
"I think I've given you plenty of time-"
"Merlin, Ellie, I LIKE YOU." He raised his voice in her face, watching how she jumped up a little at his sudden approach. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry, I don't want to scare you." He whispered, instantly regretting his loud words. "But you have been driving me nuts. You make me so weak." He shook his head, hanging it upon his shoulders.
"You- You said you didn't want me around. A person who likes another person does not say stuff like that." She raised her voice, not understanding where the hell he was coming from.
"For Merlin's sake Ellie, I don't want you around at full moon because I'm scared to death that something will happen to you!" He screamed back, finally snapping and spitting out everything he had been wanting to say. "That when I'm actually turned, I will jump on you and do things I would never forgive myself for. I'm scared to death of hurting you. I'm embarrassed, I'm terrified. That's the reason I did not let you be a part of this animagus thing." He breathed heavily, not breaking eye contact once. "I don't want you there because you mean MORE to me than the guys. Don't ever think you're not good enough. You're too good for me. I want you with me every second of every day, just not on full moon. Please tell me you understand, please tell me you do because I can't, I can't go a day without talking to you anymore. I can't. I'm miserable without you. I miss you so much."
Ellie stared at him, his words finally sinking through and for some stupid reason, it all made sense now. He didn't look at her, scared of her reaction, scared that he crossed the boundaries of shouting at her. It wasn't okay. He should not shout at her. He should not have snapped.
She swallowed the lump in her throat, entirely forgetting about the game that was probably already starting. "You- you like me?"
"I-I do- I like you." He softly spoke, carefully locking eyes with her once again.
"Like, like me? As more than friends?" Her mouth widened at him nodding his head.
"I've had a crush on you since our first year." He mumbled, playing with his fingers.
"Remus-" She whispered, taking a step closer to his body. She watched him turning his glance back to her underneath his long hair. "Is it okay if I-" Her hand reached towards his face, carefully placing her fingers upon the skin of his cheekbones. Remus in return shuddered underneath the warmth of her hands, he didn't dare to stare at her anymore, he was praying to God she would not slap his face. When the scent of her filled his nostrils, he tried to calm down his inner wolf, the animal was begging him to reach out to her, cover her skin with his.
And when she finally placed her soft lips against his, he made sure his knees didn't buckle from underneath him. Her hot breath felt soft against his lips and for some reason it didn't feel strange or awkward at all.
He tried holding in his breath when she gently took his own bottom lip in between hers. He didn't know what to do for a few seconds and when he finally realized Ellie was actually kissing him, he returned the gesture. It felt like… Finally.
His hand cupped her cheekbone carefully, feeling the sharp edge against his palm of his hand.
Her racing thoughts slowed down time. Their dancing lips were gliding over one another smoothly. It didn't feel uncomfortable. Ellie always thought that kissing a boy for the first time would be awkward, that noses would bump into one another, too many saliva would be involved and tongues would be dancing.
This wasn't the case though, this was sweet and soft and short.
She held her eyes closed when their lips broke apart, heavy breaths upon their chests. Wetting her lips with her tongue one final time, she opened her eyes to see him stare at her. His own green eyes dancing, his mouth still widened to stare at her, still amazed at what just occurred.
"I-" She took a deep breath, her own hand covering his. "I really like you too, Remus."
He swallowed roughly, still not believing her words. "You do?"
"Yes." She answered, hoping he would actually believe her. "I do." She stepped closer again, her fingertips pushing the long hair away from his eyes to circle down the scar running down his cheek, stopping at his cheekbone. "Everything about you."
"But I'm not-"
"Don't ruin it now." She placed her finger on top of his lips. "And no, David Hamblin is not my boyfriend, I've been having this certain Gryffindor third year on my mind for quite some time now."
"Really?" His eyes sparkled when he looked at her with admiration. The wolf inside his mind seemed to whistle.
"Really." She smiled, locking her eyes upon his. "I've missed you these past weeks. Don't ever do that to me again." Ellie softly threw her arms around his neck, burying her face inside his neck. "No more secrets."
"No more secrets, Ellie. I promise." He mumbled back, leaning his head upon her beanie. "Just one question though."
"Yeah?" She threw her head back a little, to look at him.
"Are we- What are we?"
"I don't know." She bit her lip in nervousness, she didn't really know how to handle this situation. She never had been in one before.
"Do you want to b-"
"Yes."
"Okay." He quickly answered, shaking his head with a grin upon his face. "Do you want to watch the game now?"
"Only if you're coming with me." Ellie replied, still a little shy about the fact that she now actually had a boyfriend.
Holy crap, she had a boyfriend.
Remus was her boyfriend.
She barely contained herself to not run into her own dorm and scream enthusiastically in her pillow. She couldn't keep the smile off her face and stared at him with a silly expression. He raised his eyebrow at her, holding back a grin himself. "What?"
"Nothing. Nothing. I just-" She shook her head, trying to not hurt her own cheeks by smiling too much. "This doesn't feel weird. That didn't feel weird. I always thought that if the day arrived that I were to kiss you, you would run as fast as you could."
"It didn't and I wouldn't. I know that it's not- you know." Remus spoke, implying his lycanthropy. "I know that. It's not, it can't be passed by a kiss. Else I would never take the risk." Remus mumbled.
"I know." Ellie nodded her head, looking at him from underneath her eyelashes.
He sighed, trying to change the subject. "Let me grab a coat, I'll be right back."
"Okay." She bit her lip, shuffling her feet a little. "Wait!"
"Huh?" He questioned, surprised when she planted her lips upon his again. He closed his eyes for a second, feeling the pressure of her mouth upon his.
When she finally pulled back, she looked at him with admiration. "Okay you can go now."
He nodded his head, still a little lost for words and then turned around rapidly, feeling the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Ellie had just kissed him again and she probably would be doing it a lot. She was his girlfriend now. That wonderful, beautiful creature had agreed to be his. He could hold her hand if he wanted to, he could kiss her whenever he wanted to.
His mind couldn't wrap itself around the reason why she'd actually like someone like him, but for now he did not care. His eyes quickly grabbed his winter coat off his bed, throwing it on in a hurry. When he entered the common room once again, she still stood there waiting for him with a small smile upon her face. The small blush upon her cheeks made him finally realize that she returned his feelings.
It took every courage he had to grab her hand in his and walk towards the portrait hole. "Do you- do you want people to know already?"
"Of course. Don't you?" She questioned, looking a little uncertain.
"Yes- yes, I don't care. I just-"
"You think people assume David and I are together." Ellie replied for him, actually revealing his inner thoughts out loud.
"I know they assume that." Remus stated, gnarling his teeth a little.
"Well we are not and we never were. In fact, David knows how I feel about you." Ellie answered, stepping outside the portrait first.
"He does?"
"Yes, of course."
Remus wanted to actually ask how David felt about her, a pang of jealousy shooting through his veins but decided against it. This was not the time or place. They descended down the Gryffindor Tower with smiles upon their faces. "Okay then. Maybe we should for now-" His eyes adverted towards their linked hands, "You know, before people fall off their brooms."
"Yes, okay. That's fine." She blushed, taking back her own hand and trying to stop her reddened face.
"Are you still mad about the animagus thing?" Remus mumbled next to her, his eyes carefully searching hers as they stepped upon the Hogwarts grounds, making their way towards the game. Loud cheering could be heard in the background but Ellie didn't really know who was winning. She didn't care either.
"Let's not talk about that right now. I understand where you're coming from." She answered sweetly, she didn't want to sound bitter. Him feeling embarrassed was his own right, she didn't want to cut into that now. Maybe in time, she would show him that she could help, but not now.
Remus nodded his head, stepping up the stairs to the stands the Gryffindors usually sat. Before they were in view, Ellie quickly grabbed his hand one final time, squeezing it. "We're good, right?"
"We've never been better." Remus smiled, a glister in his eye. He swallowed the nerves in his throat, his beating heart nearly crushing his chest when he leaned down, placing one solemn kiss upon her lips.
"Okay." Ellie bit her lip, holding back a grin. "Let's act normal now."
"We can do that." He nodded his head, trying to act serious but failing miserably.
Eleonore giggled, shoving him aside to step on the highest level of the stand, seeing most of the Gryffindors spread around. She noticed Lily and Christina sitting next to David and turned towards Remus, "I'm just going to say hi to the girls."
"Okay." He nodded his head, trying to not to grab her and kiss her in front of all the Gryffindors. "I'll see where the boys are."
She nodded her head, shooting a teasing smile from across her shoulders towards him. She watched how he blushed in return, making his way towards James, Peter, Frank and Sirius. When Ellie finally managed to squeeze herself in between Christina and Lily, she tried to act as normal as possible, trying to watch the game, ignoring the two girls staring at the side of her face.
"You took long." Lily whispered.
"She did." Christina spoke, her blonde hair blowing in the wind, she squinted her eyes at Eleonore. "And she's blushing. Ellie never blushes. Something happened."
"I don't know what you girls are talking about." Ellie mumbled, another big blush spreading upon her cheeks.
"Oh my god." Lily harshly spoke, pointing a finger at her friend. "Something happened with Remus! I see through you!"
"What?" Ellie squeaked in a high voice, "Nothing happened."
"Okay then." Christina spoke, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Tell me the score."
"What?" Eleonore looked confused at her dorm mate.
"The Quidditch score, who's winning? They just said it through the speakers."
"I-I- Slytherin?" Ellie muttered uncertainly. She didn't dare to look at the two girls, she knew her cheeks were as red as cherries.
"You guys kissed, didn't you?!" Christina grinned, "Your head's somewhere else, you never miss a match! You never miss the commentary!"
"I don't know. I don't know, I-I-" Eleonore tried to think of every excuse in the book, shifting her eyes towards the boys in the row in front of them on the right. She noticed Remus locking eyes with her and she blushed once again, a giddy feeling taking over her.
Ellie heard Lily squeal right next to her, she immediately tried to shush her down. Pushing her hands upon the red head's shoulders Ellie tried to stop her from jumping. "Ssssh, okay calm down, Lils. Fine, Tina, we kissed."
The two girls seemed to squeal together, as Ellie embarrassingly adverted her eyes from Remus'. "How was it, how was it?! Oh Merlin, I need to know. Was it romantic?" Lily clapped her hands, ignoring the game entirely.
"It was…" Ellie sighed deeply, biting her lips, a blush escaping upon her cheeks.
"That good?" Tina's mouth widened.
"Better." Ellie shook her head, trying to hold back the grin forming on her face.
"So you and him are…" Lily watched Ellie nodding her head, "I'm so happy for you guys!" She immediately pulled Eleonore in a hug, feeling how Christina placed herself on top of the two of them. "I'm so happy too!"
"What the hell is going on with those girls?" Sirius crooked his eyebrows, pointing with his thumbs towards the row right in the back of them. He noticed Lily's squealing. Christina and her were hugging the life out of Eleonore. He slowly adverted his eyes towards a certain werewolf who seemed to be more interested in his shoes than in the conversation. "Holy crap, Moony!" The black haired young teen spoke, realization hitting him.
"What? What's happening?" Peter squeaked, watching how James Potter punched Remus in the shoulders.
"Would you look at that!" James grinned at his friends blushed cheeks. "I'm guessing the only thing you regret right now is not listening to our advice sooner, right?"
"Maybe…" Remus shook his head, his eyes watching the game in front of him but a big grin revealing his true feelings.
"So, come on? How was it? Tongue?" Sirius nodded his head at Remus.
"Wait, you kissed Ellie?" Peter's mouth widened in surprise.
"Technically she kind of kissed me… But then I kissed her, and then she kissed me. And just two seconds ago, I kissed her again." Remus couldn't help it, he still couldn't believe it.
"So you guys are like, a thing now?" Sirius grinned, being genuinely happy for the two of them.
"Yep." Remus nodded his head.
"I'm really happy for you, Moony. Finally!" James threw his hands in the air. "After two years of me teasing you guys, it's finally worth all the effort! Thank Merlin!"
"Wait, what about David?" Peter questioned, looking a little confused.
"She said David knew about her feelings towards me." Remus spoke a little quietly, "That she didn't like him in that way."
"Because she's absolutely smitten with our Moony!" Sirius grinned, throwing his arm around the blushing boy's shoulder. "That's my boy!"
James shrugged, turning his expression very serious. "Remus, I have known Ellie for a very long time."
"Oh god, don't do it Prongs." Sirius spoke up, rolling his eyes.
"And in that time she has come to mean a great deal to me. She's practically my sister. We will probably see one another at Christmas dinner." James nodded his head, "I will have to say if you hurt her, I shall not abstain myself. I will use my wand if I have to." James looked at a non-impressed Remus over his glasses. "I'm very good at Defense Against the Dark Arts."
"Unless it's full moon." Sirius pointed his finger in the air.
"Good point, Padfoot. Unless it's full moon." James nodded his head. "But all the other remaining days, I will still kick your ass."
Remus couldn't help but laugh. It was almost worth trying for if they weren't talking about Ellie.
Author's note: So tell me what you thought of Ellie's first kiss? I thought it was sweet so I really hope I wrote it down and best as possible. I've been breaking my head very hard over this chapter so I do want to thank Christina for the help! It's wonderful to have a second opinion, a different way of viewing things. I also would like to say that I've actually made a document with the whole proces of this story; who's getting killed off, who's staying, what will happen, there's a timeline and I'm quite certain I'm sticking to it. When this story is finished, you will either kill me or love me. Because fuck (excuse my language), there's a lot of drama, death and surprises to come (and don't think I'm sticking to the books, I decide who survives or dies here). Leave me a little review about the kiss, alright? Thanks! Xo Eva