Two days after the press conference, Mark found himself sitting on the couch in Dr. Allen's office, awaiting her arrival for their scheduled appointment. He had only been seated for a few minutes when Peg walked in the room, giving him an apologetic glance, her hands full of files.
"Sorry for the wait, Mark. There was an incident in the copier room, so I'm going to have to stay late and sort all these files and reorganize them."
"No problem, is there anything I can do to help?"
Peg pushed up the glasses resting on the bridge of her nose, grabbing her pad of paper and pen before sitting in her normal chair across from Mark. "You can help by telling me how you've been the last couple of days. We haven't been able to touch base since before the meeting on Tuesday."
He rubbed the back of his neck, giving a shrug. "I'm fine, I guess. The conference was a pain in the ass, but it got Annie off my back, which is nice." She nodded while taking notes, looking up at him expectantly. "I haven't had any triggers or anything since that first month back, don't worry."
"What about the nightmares?" She crossed her hands and leaned back in her chair. "I know you were having a lot of trouble sleeping, not only because you were still on Mars time." He let out a heavy sigh.
"They've been getting better too, believe it or not. I mean, they still happen, obviously…" He rested his chin on the palm of his hand. "…but lately, they haven't been as frequent. Not that I'm complaining, just not sure why they're suddenly more…tame?"
That got Peg's attention. This was actual progress, and it was good progress. If the nightmares were calming down, it meant that he was healing even more. She gave him a warm smile before speaking.
"That's great news, Mark, I'm glad to hear that they're not as bad." She leaned forward, resting her arms on her crossed legs. "Usually, in cases where somebody has experienced a trauma and suffers from nightmares as a result, one of the things we look for is anything that may have changed in the patient's daily life. Maybe something positive happened that triggered a chain reaction of good moments for them, or they made a lifestyle change as a welcome distraction, things like that." Mark looked at Peg, understanding dawned on his face, and she could tell something must have happened. "Did something happen recently? Something good?"
He coughed to clear his throat, feeling a little awkward all of a sudden. "I-uh…I actually did meet someone."
"Well that's wonderful! Tell me about them."
"Her name is Mindy, she works for NASA in SatCom."
"Tell me more, how did you meet her?"
"Well, I crashed into her in the hall right after the meeting on Tuesday." Mark smiled to himself at the memory, and Peg started jotting down more notes. "I apologized, she said it was her fault, and then I introduced myself. We talked, and she helped me find my way back to Kapoor's office." She was curious to know more.
"And? What made her so significant?"
"Vince told me that Mindy was the one who realized I didn't die on Mars." Peg's eye grew wide, and Mark became more expressive. "I know, right?! That was my reaction, too! Anyways, he told me about everything she had done, tracking me, adjusting her schedule to match mine on Mars, reading all the messages in Morse code."
"That's certainly something significant." He snorted in agreement.
"Exactly! And I just stood there in shock, because this person, that I owed my life to, was going to try and play it off as if it were no big deal." Peg became thoughtful for a moment.
"Well maybe she felt as if she were just doing her job, and thought that anybody would've done the same thing in her position."
"That's pretty much how she played it off." He agreed, "And maybe somebody else would've, but the point is that it was her who did all of those things. She didn't have to be the one to do it, all by herself. There's plenty of people employed in her department that could've taken over for her, but she still did it herself. And that means a lot to me."
"Do you think maybe you feel indebted to her?" He looked at her like that should've been obvious.
"Obviously I feel indebted to her! But that's not all…" he released a breath, running a hand through his hair and rubbing his neck again, like he did when he was uncertain. "…I actually liked her a lot. Before I found out who she was and what she did, we talked a little bit, and I found myself actually enjoying her company. Which, if you can recall, has been hard for me to do if it wasn't my parents or somebody from the crew." She nodded along, writing down more notes. This has been one of their best sessions yet, and she had a good feeling about this woman, Mindy.
"Well, I think this is definitely a good thing, Mark. I think you should be friends with her, not because of what she did, but because you enjoyed being around her. I think that's a pretty important thing for you, in light of recent events." He gave an embarrassed laugh, prompting her to continue. "If you like her, then I say go for it. Don't let the past have such a vice grip on your future. You're home now, remember? You're not fighting for your life anymore. Being happy, enjoying somebody else's presence, and appreciating moments like these…you've earned those things, Mark. More so than a lot of people." He was quiet for a moment, letting her words soak in.
"I'm just scared that she won't know how to act around me." When Peg gave him a confused look, he explained, "I'm worried, because of what I went through, that she'll tiptoe around me, like she's worried something might set me off and bring back bad memories, and the worst part…" he dropped his head, unable to make eye contact with her, "the worst part is that I'm afraid I actually might have a meltdown, or wind up having an unknown PTSD trigger that'll make her scared of me or something, I dunno." He gave up trying to explain, leaning back on the sofa with a huff. Peg watched him, could tell he was genuinely worried about something he felt he couldn't control. She made a few quick notes, trying to find the best words to give him some sense of security.
"These are legitimate concerns, and I'm glad you told me. Mark," she said, drawing his attention back to her, "here is my advice to you, so remember this when you start to worry again, alright?" He nodded, acknowledging what she was saying, and she gave him a comforting smile before continuing. "Sometimes, memories are the worst form of torture." At his evident confusion, she began to elaborate, "You went through something traumatic, that's obvious. And because of that, you're going to need a lot of time to heal, and that's perfectly normal. You just need to realize that those memories shouldn't control you, or your life. I think, one of the best things you could do for yourself right now, is to make new memories, positive ones." Understanding began to dawn on his features. "This girl you mentioned, Mindy, I believe she is one of your new memories, a good one. And that positivity outweighs the negative more than you'd realize. So, I suggest you keep enjoying her company, maybe even ask her out on a date, if you think you could handle it, but don't stress yourself out over a bad situation that has a slim chance of happening. And even if it did, you can't control that. The best you can do is learn to cope and take your time to heal, don't push things. You should know better than anybody, that to live your life you have to take risks." Mark gave her a grateful smile, hearing every word and locking it in his mind.
"Thanks, doc. I think that was something I needed to hear."
She gave him a warm smile. "I'm glad. But unfortunately," she glanced down at her watch, "we are all out of time for today. But this was some really great progress, Mark. Keep up the good work, I'm proud of how far you've come along in such a short time."
"You and me, both!" Peg moved to stand up, Mark following her lead, as she walked him to the door of her office.
"I'll see you next week, then. Call me before then if anything comes up or if you ever need to talk." He shook her hand, clearly feeling better than he had.
"I will, thanks again, Doctor Allen. See you next week!" She waved to him as he walked down the hall and out of the building, before turning back into her office and closing the door with a soft click. Peg Allen had never been more impressed with a patient, like she was with Mark Watney, his rapid improvement was monumental, and she was grateful that he seemed to take her advice to heart. If only all her patients were that easy to work with. Walking back to her desk, she turned on her computer to begin typing her daily patient report.