70
Ianto couldn't hear the screams of the party this deep underground but he knew Jack was like a pig in shit up there, hopefully not horse shit.
His real worry was the little goat that had appeared and he was more than slightly concerned that Jack kept looking proudly at it like a new child.
Ianto placed his new trophy on the wall next to his claw and Gwen's wig, the cyber finger and Alien tail. The trophy wall was looking good but could do with a bit more and Ianto wondered what he would get next, his desire to count crow a new feeling, but a nice one.
Tucker cooed from his little chair and Ianto turned to pick him up, walking to the wall.
"See Tuck? Bitey Alien, Bitchy Gwen Beast and that is the Big Buggy thing from today." Ianto said as he pointed, "You were so brave and clever helping Uncle Rhys keep the cakes safe, I think you might get one now, yeah?"
Ianto carried his son up through the levels to find Jack lying on the ground groaning as Mickey laughed hysterically and Ianto could see the child on horseback glaring down at him as she chastised him for scaring her horse.
Ah.
Or should I say Ouch.
"Jack, did you smack that horse again?" Ianto sighed as he looked down at his writhing mate.
"She wanted…aeeeghhhh…to go fast…gods…hurts" Jack grimaced.
"Damn and I can't kiss it better with all the guests, such a pity" Ianto rolled his eyes as Jack pouted. "Mind you…stinky just filled his nappy and he might want a wee swim while he has his bottle for nap time. Maybe we could do that as…a couple."
Jack grunted as he struggled to his feet and seized the baby, "I'll change him, you get the botty bot bot, meet me in the deep end."
"Blimey, that was easy" Clive laughed and Ianto shrugged as Francine corrected her husband.
"I think you will find that it is Jack who is easy" she giggled, "Nice seeing you love, if I don't see you again before we leave it was a lovely day."
Ianto smiled and headed in to find Jack wrestling with their son who was unusually strong and he called out, "I hope he is being a good boy for his botty"
The squealing and growling stopped and Jack then grinned as he told their son that they were heading for the water and Ianto followed with the bottle, throwing it to Jack who caught it with expert level 4 reflexes.
Ianto undressed and slid in, sighing happily as he swam over to them and kissed his love, then the wee beast. They drifted as he drank from the bottle, eyeing his Dam with open annoyance as he would have preferred the milk from him, sadly dried up now.
"Those cupcakes were so cute" Jack said and then he frowned, "Babe? Where did the mandible thing go?"
"In my other room" Ianto said with a sly sideways movement of his eyes.
"Ianto, we've talked about trophies, like a bloody serial killer or something." Jack scolded.
"It's a Predator thing" Ianto snapped, suddenly; annoyed that he had to defend himself when he was trying to get mellow and had already been turned on, now his anger flared as he moved to the side of the pool and Jack sighed.
"Come on, don't sulk" Jack said with a groan, "I didn't mean to diss your new friends."
"Yours too, or have you forgotten the help they've provided?" Ianto swung to face him and Jack could literally see the deflation as Ianto lost interest, "Why are you picking a fight? We were happy, doing so well and he was about to drift off so we could have some fun and now…fuck. You are such an arsehat sometimes."
"Hey!" Jack called out, "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Well how did you mean it!" Ianto asked from the doorway, "Because believe it or not I am one of 'them' now. Maybe I am better off in their company if I am such a Debbie Downer in yours!"
Jack looked down at the baby in his arms and cursed softly, the little face full of anger to match his Taddy as he glared up at Jack in silent accusation.
Jack was only glad the wee beast didn't have teeth yet or he may have gone for the jugular.
Jack had to admit that he had eaten too many cakes and the sugar rush had boiled his brain.
Damn he hated it when he did that.