By the next morning, it was feeling like a normal family weekend. Sharon and Andy were busy finishing in the kitchen, and Hannah was eating, yet again, in her high chair. Andy had bought a few things to make his home "Hannah ready," and he was very glad he'd bought the strap on high chair booster for his chairs. The clerk at the store had been the one to suggest it, and he was really glad to have it now. It didn't take up a lot of space, but Hannah was using it just fine. He looked to Sharon, who was filling Hannah's sippy cup with water and smiled at her.
"I enjoy being around you both. It feels so normal," he gave a slight shrug.
"I have to admit that it's a bit odd being back here in L.A. right now, almost surreal," she told him.
"Good or bad?" Andy asked.
She pursed her lips and kept her eyes on him as she walked over to give Hannah her cup. Andy had bought two of them after talking to Sharon and getting the specific brand Hannah enjoyed. She paused and then said, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it's stressful being here. It's not you," she walked back to him and put her arm on his, her eyes searching his and slightly shrugged, "just a lot of memories here, some good and some bad. I left the area for a reason, and being back, I have this odd stress like I should be going to work or something. Maybe the best way to describe it is toxic."
Andy frowned slightly, but he nodded, "I think I understand. That's almost exactly how I would describe situations I have to be around my ex-wife. Toxic," he nodded.
"I don't want you to think I'm not glad to be here," she told him.
He reached for her hand and squeezed it, "I know. I'm glad you are here, and while our pumpkin there is enjoying her snack, I have a couple things I want to discuss. We didn't get a lot of talking done last night."
"Oh," she tried to hide her smile, but she moved her free hand to his chest and ran it up that, "I had a great time last night."
"As did I," he leaned in and pecked her lips. "Though, if we are going to give this a go, a real go, you and I both know that we can't just spend our small amounts of time together jumping into bed. Don't get me wrong," he paused and looked into her eyes, "that part, we're great, but I know in my own life, my marriage party failed because I didn't talk through things."
"Marriage?" Sharon gestured with her hand and almost stuttered over the word. She tried to step back, but he held her hand tightly.
"No, that's not what I'm saying. Sharon, you're white as a ghost," he said, his thumb running over her hand. "I'm just pointing out in my own life I need to work on communication. I never seem to have a problem with the physical attraction, but," he smiled brightly at her, "I've never had the connection I have with you, felt the way I do with you. I just want this to work, for us, for Hannah."
"What did you want to discuss?" Sharon asked. Andy nodded to the table and gestured for the two of them to go and sit across from Hannah. She stopped eating when they walked to the table and watched them.
"Mama," she said, her teeth smiling.
"My beautiful girl," Sharon smiled back at Hannah. She and Andy sat in chairs next to each other, and he turned toward her and pulled her hands into his. She looked at Andy, still a look of slight terror on her face, and she cleared her throat, "What did you want to discuss?"
"I wanted to talk to you about a few things, hopefully without you thinking I'm jumping into the future," he frowned slightly.
"Andy," she shook her head and sighed, "I don't know if I will ever be what you want."
"Hey," he tugged lightly on their hands, "I am not asking anything. We're still just adjusting to being around each other on a, well, not even a regular basis." She nodded, and he tried to meet her gaze. She looked up, and he winked at her. "I was hoping to discuss an event with you."
"An event?" Sharon looked, now puzzled. Hannah made a loud shrill sound, and both looked at her. She just grinned at them and put another cracker in her mouth. Sharon and Andy chuckled, and he looked back at her.
"I would like you to go with me to the Holiday Police Gala," he said. "I have to go this year; Chief is making the whole team go. Strike that," he held up a free finger, "Pope told Chief we all have to go. It's the weekend after Thanksgiving weekend, and I would really like you to go with me."
Sharon's face clearly showed she was surprised at this request. She pulled back and sat back in her chair, not sure what to say. Finally, she spoke, "Andy," she shook her head and pursed her lips, "I don't think this would be a good idea. I left the LAPD. I would know everyone there, and let's face it-this would not go well for you. Everyone would talk, everyone. It couldn't be good for your career. One thing would turn into another, and it would all come out. I left the LAPD knowing people talked about me, but I could handle it. It was mostly work talk, and even what was still circulating about Jack, it was what it was. This will be a mess. I use don't think it's a good idea at all. You said work is going well for you. I think you need to focus on that. Your life doesn't need to have more complications."
"I don't care about any of that anymore," he said quickly, gesturing to Hannah. "You and Hannah are part of my life, and I'm tired of hiding it. Yeah, it's been a mess," he sighed and ran his hand over his face. "It was a mess when we started all of this. The sneaking around, that was just, just," he shook his head. "That was on a need to know basis, and others didn't need to know. Hannah being born, I hated hiding that. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see her at your old condo, hold her, and then, pretend like it was nothing? I had to pretend like I wasn't responsible for her. I never, ever want to do that again. It was like denying my kid, and that's not what I want to do. All of this," he nodded around the room, "I'm so glad you are here right now. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know we need to come clean. Your kids know, and the elephant in the room is now on my end. I should have told them sooner. I should have told them what a dirt bag of a dad I am. My kids already know; this will be further confirmation, but it needs to happen. The gala is one thing I wanted to discuss, and my kids are the other. Nic and Nate need to know. I wanted to talk to you about how best to tackle all of this. Work, I'm tired of denying I have a life, a family of sorts, outside the office. I don't care what people say. Let them say it. We've both probably had worse things said about us over the years. The department can talk. They can wonder, but at the end of it, I still have you. I have Hannah. Sharon, you're a beautiful person, inside and out, and I regret I didn't see that earlier. I am so glad the two of us got together, even as odd as it was to start. I want the team to see that. I want my kids to see that, so this weekend, I want to talk about moving forward with my end. I want to shout from the rooftops about how in love with you I am, how much I love my daughter. I know I messed up with those stupid papers, and we need to discuss how to handle that part of the conversation with my kids. That's what I want from your visit. I want more, Sharon. I want everything out in the open," Andy spoke quickly and finally paused, searching her eyes for an answer.
Sharon groaned, "Andy, this is why I didn't want things to get messy. Here we are. We're going down a path that I see ends in a slippery slope. I don't want to move back to Los Angeles. I don't want to leave my new job. I don't want to be the talk of the LAPD again."
He sat back, almost surprised, "Wait, why would all that happen? I never said anything about moving or jobs, or really, anything like that!"
"It's where this is headed. You and I are both in denial if you aren't thinking that. You see us as a cozy, happy family here in your home, and I just can't do that here," she frowned.
"You're getting way ahead of yourself," Andy shook his head. "I want you, and I want Hannah. I am thinking about the here and now, one day at a time."
"Exactly, and that could be the problem. I'm thinking of the future. I can't make huge changes again. I'm happy there. I'm happy with you in my life, with you part of Hannah's life, and I don't want to make any changes," she told him.
"I think you are really jumping, Sharon. I want to tell my kids. I should have a long time ago. That's going to be a difficult conversation, and I'd like you by my side. You don't deserve to be hidden. That has been my mistake, and it looks like I'm ashamed. I'm not. I love you. I love Hannah, and people need to see what I've done. I've found a wonderful woman and created a baby with her," he smiled softly caressing her hand. "The details," he shrugged, "people like work don't need to know that."
"They will!" Sharon said, now extremely agitated. "I was pregnant here. Everyone thinks Hannah belongs to Jack. This will be a scandal I don't want. I left before I could be the talk of the town more than I already was."
"Look," he sighed, "can you think about this, please? Can we table this and talk about it another time this weekend?
Sharon just gave him a small smile and looked quickly at Hannah. He heard her let out a low sigh, "Yes, I really want to have a great time here. I've been looking forward to it," she said and looked to him. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, and I want to spend even more time with you. I don't want to go to a Christmas gala without you by my side. We can figure out someone to watch Hannah. I want to be able to mention you in conversation with my kids. At least think about that, that my kids need to know," he told her.
She nodded again, and she was about to speak when Andy's phone rang. He stood to get it from the counter, and as he walked by Hannah, she put her arms in the air, something Sharon said she'd started doing when she wanted out of her chair. He ruffled his hand on her head and motioned for Sharon to sit. Andy answered his phone and walked back to get Hannah from her chair.
"Provenza what gives? I told you I was busy all weekend," he said, unbuckling Hannah and picking her up. "Yeah," he nodded. "Around? Yeah, should be. We have no set plans," he said and turned to Sharon who was sitting forward, her elbows resting on the table. "Fine," he said and rolled his eyes at Sharon before he hung up. Andy turned and kissed Hannah when he finished.
"I found that to be a very odd conversation," Sharon pointed at him and started to chuckle, trying to move beyond the conversation they'd been having.
"That was Provenza," he said and waved the phone. "He wants to stop by because he has something for Hannah. I know he can be a lot, especially with you, but he means well, and he adores Hannah."
Sharon nodded, "When is he coming over here?"
"Hour or so," Andy shrugged. "Look, do you want to take Hannah on a walk? Let's get outside, do something normal and fun. I'd love to walk around here with you and just talk, about anything."
"That sounds good," she said as she stood. "I'll get her things."
A few minutes later, the two were in the driveway putting Hannah in her stroller. Sharon gestured to Andy, "Would you like to push her?"
"I'd love to push her," he smiled. "May I hold your hand too? We haven't just done something this normal."
Sharon gave him a soft smile and put her hand in his. He used one hand to push the stroller, and the two started their walk.
"Andy, I am not trying to end this," she said, gesturing between them. "I'm just not sure how moving forward we do this. Telling your kids is another huge step."
"I realize that, but like your kids, they need to know. I realize yours found out maybe before you would have wanted, not in the best way possible, but they are Hannah's brother and sister, just as Nic and Nate are too. I messed up my family the first time around, and I don't want to keep doing it. I'll get grief enough about hiding all of this, so I want to start making it right."
"I just," she shook her head, "I guess telling them opens up questions. I don't have answers. I get questions from my kids, and I tell them over and over I don't really know what the future holds."
"Neither do I, Sharon," he said, squeezing her hand slightly. He glanced at her, "I'd say when we started things almost two years ago, we'd never have put ourselves here, yet, we're working it out. Let's just keep taking one thing at a time. I'd like to tell my kids, and I'd like them to meet you, officially. I know you ran into them at the restaurant before Hannah was born, but that's not enough. You're Hannah's mom, and my kids need to get to know you, to see I've changed, to see I'm crazy about you, and to see what an amazing person you are."
"Look, you aren't the only one who has things to discuss," Sharon said, slightly turning to him. "I wanted to talk to you about the holidays."
"I have to work Christmas," he frowned.
She nodded, "You mentioned that might be the case. I spoke to my dad, and well," she bit her lip, "I would like you to come to Phoenix."
He raised an eyebrow, "I'm a little confused. You're kinda freaking out about this with us, about me telling even my own family, but you want to invite me for Thanksgiving?"
"I told you it's not you," she shook her head. "I miss you when you aren't around. I will be in Phoenix, and I promise my dad will be on his best behavior. Besides," she said with a lowered voice, "he isn't admitting it yet, but he does like you."
Andy raised his eyebrow again, "You don't need to butter me up about your dad. He's a good man and has reason to not trust me. I mean, I knocked up his daughter," he stopped the stroller and gestured. "I hid from him."
She put her free hand on his hand, gesturing, "Andy, I know this morning has been stressful. We're good at many things," she blushed slightly, "but are still working out communication. We are talking though, even if I often don't want to hear it," she gave a slight roll of her eyes. "My dad does like you, even if he's cautious. I'm sure you would be with Nicole or Hannah as he is with me. Still, I am an adult and make my own decisions. I spoke to him about you coming to Thanksgiving to make sure he wasn't terribly upset. He wasn't at all, and I think, honestly, he was glad to hear I wanted you there. It's the first Thanksgiving without my mom. I'm going to be cooking everything, and I'd love your help. It's something we can do together, our first major holiday as a couple. My kids will be there, and yes," she paused to roll her eyes again, "as I'm saying it, it just hit me that I'm being unreasonable about meeting your kids."
Andy let her finish, and he just smiled at her. They looked rather odd, standing there on the sidewalk with Hannah in her stroller, standing there, just talking to each other. He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her toward him, and his hand rested on her elbows. He didn't end the kiss quickly; he lingered. She lingered, both almost hungry for the closeness. When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers, "Thank you for, for all of it. We can talk more about telling my kids. I want this to be something we do together. I'd come to Phoenix for Thanksgiving even if I had to stay in my car and eat fast food just to see you for five minutes," he said sweetly, running his hand over her hair. "I mean, I hope that's not the case, is it?"
Sharon chuckled and shook her head, "No, I'm making my own decisions, and I'd like you to stay at the house with the rest of my family."
"I'll be there," he said quietly, kissing her quickly again.
"When we get back to the house, we can discuss your kids," she said with a half-smile, half questioning look. He nodded and reached for her hand to squeeze it again.
"Let's enjoy our walk, shall we?" Andy nodded ahead. They started walking, and he threw a smirk at her, "Of course, we'll have to deal with Provenza first, you know, when we get back to the house."