…
Jackie felt like the puking would never end. Eventually it did, but the retching didn't and neither did the nauseous feeling.
She tried hard to not be obnoxious, after all, this was pretty embarrassing, but she couldn't help it. Thankfully, nobody seemed to be upstairs, which helped her feel slightly better.
Tears stinging her eyes, she slumped down on the bathroom floor, clutching her stomach.
"Are you finally done?" she asked, looking down at it.
The queasiness appeared to subside mildly and she wondered if her baby had heard her, as if babies could control the flow of nausea their mothers felt. Mother. That's what she was now, although she didn't feel much like one. She just felt ill and exhausted.
She desperately wanted to brush her teeth but was worried that would only trigger the vomiting again so she settled with a bit of mouthwash. She swished, spit, and headed back to her room. It was seven in the morning, which meant that the Mr. and Mrs. Forman were eating breakfast and Eric had just gone to class. She could go lay in bed, guilt-free.
As Jackie lay peacefully on her back, she began to think about the baby some more. Would it be a girl or a boy? What would she name it? Would it hate her? Did it already, due to the nightmare her pregnancy had been thus far?
She started thinking of names. There was nobody to disagree with whatever she chose, which was quite possibly the only upside of doing this alone. All that came to her mind were girl names. She could hardly picture herself with a child, but she really couldn't picture herself with a boy. Plus, baby girls had the cutest clothing options, including those little frilly socks that Jackie loved. Girls could manage with only their mothers. Boys, however, needed their fathers.
"Julia." She rested a hand on her stomach and looked down. She was always partial to 'J' names. "Is that what you're gonna be, a Julia?"
She sighed, feeling silly for talking out loud- it sort of felt like believing in Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. However, she knew this baby was real and not make believe. She had gone to a few doctor's appointments, heard the heartbeat, and had noticed enough changes in her body to know that this was definitely no fictional character. This was her child.
Jackie closed her eyes and began to drift into a deep slumber.
About an hour and a half later, she awoke to her stomach fiercely growling with hunger, as her nausea had magically vanished. She sat up in bed, eager to go downstairs and eat some breakfast, but suddenly noticed a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast sitting on her dresser, along with a glass of orange juice. Jackie smiled to herself. Kitty was such a thoughtful person. She knew that Jackie wanted to keep to herself lately and she was being very respectful of that.
She wolfed down her breakfast and once she was done, she sat on her bed, feeling clueless as to what she should do next. She didn't want to leave this room, but she didn't want to be alone. She was also missing Donna a lot. The Formans were very supportive, even Red, but there were certain things that she just couldn't talk to them about.
Looking at her empty plate and feeling ashamed for being such a pig, Jackie decided to get properly dressed and made up, so she could at least give off the illusion of being confident. She had always been immensely insecure, but she also used to have a vast feeling of pride in herself that would surge randomly when she needed it to. Those days felt long gone. She had thought her insecurity had reached its peak when she realized she was alone and had no plans. However, between the fact that she was relying solely on a family that wasn't hers to support her and the fact that she was knocked up and her body was beginning to change, her insecurity was going through the roof. Had any other girl been in this situation, Jackie would have deemed her a huge loser. Therefore, she felt like the biggest loser on the planet.
Jackie sighed but got up and opened her closet, searching vigorously for something to wear that would make her feel okay again. After a heavy debate with herself regarding a floral sundress (too dressy, she decided) or a sleeveless emerald cowl-neck sweater with jeans, she undressed and flung on the top. It wasn't too clingy and showed off her toned arms, which was exactly what she was going for. She grabbed a pair of jeans that were within reach and pulled them on, but when she realized she had to suck in her stomach to button them, she wanted to cry.
Throwing off the stupid pants and shirt, Jackie fought the urge to just throw her pajamas back on and never leave the damn room again. Clad only in her bra and panties, she went to her full-length mirror to inspect herself. If her pants weren't buttoning with ease, she had to be showing, right?
She frowned, as the only differences she could visibly see were her slightly enlarged breasts. She cupped them, actually enjoying the difference in them.
The door swung open.
"Jackie, I—" Eric's mouth dropped as he noticed that she was only in her bra and panties. "Sorry!" He slammed the door.
Jackie's jaw hung open for a moment. Why the hell would he just barge in there like that?
Then she realized her hands were still on her breasts. Oh, no. How awkward.
She hastily found a better-fitting pair of pants and threw them on, along with the green shirt. Feeling embarrassed, she fell back on her bed, replaying that moment in her head. God, why did he do that? Sure, they were friends now, but they weren't close enough to walk into each other's bedrooms when the door wasn't open.
She thought about what Eric saw, and then she began to think about what he could have felt. Mortified, sure, but did he feel anything else other than that?
Furiously blushing, Jackie grabbed a pillow and squeezed it hard, feeling ashamed to even be thinking something like that. Not only was Eric Forman not her type, but she was also carrying another man's child. Now was not the time to get a silly crush on someone, especially not someone she lived with. This had to be pregnancy hormones making her libido increase or something.
The phone began to ring and she sprung up to answer it. Maybe it would actually be Nate this time. "Hello?" she eagerly asked.
"Jackie, what the hell?" Donna's voice echoed through the receiver.
Uh-oh. Did Donna somehow know what thoughts were running through her mind just moments before? How the hell did she do that?
"Donna." Jackie let out a deep breath.
"I just called the apartment and Fez told me that you live with the Formans now," Donna said, confusion evident in her voice. "Did you guys break up? Why didn't you call me?"
Jackie sighed again. "Yes, we broke up… and you were busy every other time I tried calling, so I just figured you wouldn't be able to talk." She tried to keep her voice steady. "Fez and I breaking up is now the least of my problems, though."
Donna listened to her friend's dramatic declaration, assuming the brunette was having a bad hair day or something. "So, did you break up with him or did he break up with you?"
"If you need to know, Donna, it was mutual," Jackie explained.
"Okay, so now you're living with Hyde and Eric?" Donna slightly giggled at the thought. "How is that going?"
Jackie groaned. "Don't you care about why the breakup is the least of my problems? Don't you even care about what's going on in my life since you left?"
"Jackie, I just asked you a question about your life," Donna reminded her. "But apparently it wasn't the right one."
Jackie was silent.
"Okay, what's going on?" Donna inquired.
Jackie felt her chin begin to quiver and despite her attempts to quell it, she burst into tears. "I'm pregnant."
"What?" Donna was clearly stunned. "Are you sure?"
"I've gone to a couple appointments already, so yeah," Jackie told her just before another sob escaped. "I'm eight weeks along."
"Well… Fez is being supportive, right?" Donna asked.
Jackie scoffed and wiped her nose with her wrist. "It's not Fez's!"
"Oh, God… not Hyde." Donna's voice became solemn.
"It's not Steven's, either!" Jackie responded.
"Jackie, I swear to God, if you say Kelso—" Donna began.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's someone you don't know?" Jackie asked, her voice laden with unease.
Donna was quiet for a moment. "Okay… so are you, like, dating him?"
Jackie's hands began to shake as she replayed her last conversation with Nate in her head. "We were," she told her friend. "But then I told him. Now he wants nothing to do with me… us." She lightly touched her stomach.
"God damn it, really?" Donna's voice became angry. "Tell me who the hell this guy is and I'll come there right now and kick his ass."
Jackie smiled sadly. She missed having a loyal friend like Donna around. "I'm just hoping that he comes around. Mrs. Forman said that he's probably just taking it in… not like that excuses anything, but it would definitely make things easier for me if he did come around sometime soon." She wiped another tear away. "I did really like him, too."
"Well, he sounds like a total dillhole," Donna replied. "I don't get it. You've always thought you were too good for anyone but then you settle for these dumbass guys. I guess that's kind of why I thought it might've worked out with Fez."
"Donna, I've dated the pretty-boy idiot, the burnout bad boy, and the sweet but effeminate foreigner. You act as though my taste in guys has been predictable," Jackie pointed out.
"Okay," Donna agreed. "But you're missing one. All of those 'types' you just stated are… pretty specific, but, Jackie, you just need to find yourself a good guy. That's all."
"A good guy," Jackie echoed. Only one person came to her mind and she felt ashamed. "Well, it's too late for me now. I'm carrying a child and from now on, everything changes. Maybe I won't ever date again." She began to wallow in self-pity.
"Oh, shut up," Donna mumbled. "You're gonna be fine, okay? You're gonna meet that good guy, and if that other dude ever shows back up, you can tell him to shove it and live your happily ever after with said good guy and your baby. Right?"
Jackie appreciated her friend's optimism, but had to try really hard to sound positive when she responded back: "Right."