"What's got you in such a foul mood today?" Andy asked as he glanced over at Provenza. The two were driving back to the station after collecting a witness statement. He eyed Provenza and when Provenza's phone alert went off again, Andy continued, "and, who is blowing up your phone today? It sounds like someone actually wants to talk to you," he chuckled.
Provenza scowled at him as he looked toward Andy, "Liz. Liz is the reason for all of this," he gestured to his face. "My bad mood is from Liz."
"So, are we talking the bad mood just today or your overall attitude the last, what 15, 20 years? I mean, I know you say, 'It's always the ex, but she can't be blamed for your entire adult life."
"Ex-wives are always to blame for everything," he said gruffly. His phone text went off again, and he sighed as he looked at the message.
"What does Liz want? She couldn't possibly want you," he grinned.
"That gala Chief is making us go to tomorrow is really a disaster," Provenza gestured with his hand as he threw down his phone. "Liz heard me talking about it over Thanksgiving, about how I had to get dressed up for the stupid thing. One of the kids invited me over to their Christmas party, some party with all their friends, like I'd want to go," he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Liz thought I was making up the fact I have to be at this work event, and when she realized I was serious, she invited herself to be my date."
Andy raised an eyebrow as he stopped at a light. He pointed to Provenza, "Let me get this straight-your ex-wife invited herself to be your date for the gala? That's a good one, Provenza. You know, there is a word called, 'No." You might try it."
"Liz doesn't exactly understand no," Provenza scowled again. "The text messages I'm getting are all from her. You'd think she would take a hint when I don't respond, but she's sending me pictures of different dresses wanting my opinion for tomorrow. I guess the only good thing about taking her is that I can drink and make her drive. No way I can go to that thing totally sober, so lucky for you," he flashed a fake smile at Andy, "because you're off the hook as my driver tomorrow night. Thinking about it, the only other decent thing would be taking Liz home-just for the night," he said, making it clear. "At least everything there would be familiar."
"Just stop," Andy held up his hand. "I don't want to hear about you and Liz."
"Says the idiot who has been sneaking around with the captain for two years now, or is that over? You haven't mentioned her in awhile, not that I mind," he said.
"It's not over!" Andy bellowed. "Seriously, you think it would be over? Hannah's my kid."
"People can have a kid and be over, Flynn. You and I both know that," Provenza said sharply.
"Yeah, well, it's not over. I love Sharon. I was with her whole family for Thanksgiving," he offered.
Provenza raised an eyebrow, "Wait, why didn't I know that? You've been sneaky, Flynn," he pointed at him, the scowl on his face evident. "You drove to Arizona? I was stuck with Liz and the kids for Thanksgiving. Why didn't I know you were out of town?"
"It's just been private," Andy offered. "You know," he shrugged. "I love her. It's really hard, Provenza, doing this back and forth. Neither of us want to talk about the future because we don't know what that means. I guess I want to talk about it, but we are both set in our ways. I love Sharon, and I love Hannah. I just enjoy being around them so much, but then, I get back here, and this is my life."
"Okay, Dr. Phil, we could talk about that mess for hours. Spill it, though about Thanksgiving. How did it go?" Provenza asked.
"I dropped the turkey," Andy sighed and shook his head.
Provenza started to chuckle at him, "You don't eat turkey, but you dropped the one thing, the main entrée, for the day. Flynn, it's like the World Series of food. Everyone gears up for Thanksgiving, and you dropped the turkey?"
"It was an accident, but yeah," he sighed again. "We got over that, but I felt like an idiot. Her dad and other kids were there. I made a fool of myself."
"Well, one could say that when you knocked up the captain and had a kid at your age, you idiot," Provenza smacked at him. "How did things go with the family?"
"Well," Andy nodded. "I like her kids, and they did well with me. It was a little awkward having her dad almost glaring at me all the time, like the, 'I know what you are doing with my daughter' look, and yes, even at my age, that look is terrifying, but it was good. This was Sharon's first Thanksgiving without her mom, and she handled it well. I helped them put up their tree and hate I couldn't help Sharon put up hers in Flagstaff. I spent a lot of time with Hannah," he smiled at Provenza. "You wouldn't believe how much she's changing, Provenza. She finally called me daddy."
Provenza nodded at him, "Did anyone mention to the kid that legally you aren't her father?"
"I am by DNA!" Andy bellowed. "That's still a mess, but Sharon and I are just ignoring my indiscretion."
"Indiscretion," Provenza chuckled and shook his head. "It's more than that, Flynn. Knocking up the captain might be called that. Signing away your kid is more."
"Let me be clear!" Andy exclaimed and looked at him. "I'm well aware of what I signed. Sharon is too. For now, we just aren't talking about it. We know what we have."
"Seems to be your theme, avoidance," Provenza nodded. "Yes, that will work well. You just said you are avoiding any talk about your future."
"We are, but what's there to discuss really? Neither of us can change. This is working," he shrugged. "I see them when I can, and we are all okay with it. Families are made up in many different ways. Hannah has two loving parents with two homes. Plenty of kids have a parent who is away a lot for work."
"The time is going to come when the captain finds a man to fill her bed, Flynn, a man who will cave to what she wants," Provenza warned him.
Andy shook his head, "I'm her guy. She's independent. Look, if we push, it's like things won't work. She's not coming back here, not happening. I live here. It's the way it is. She doesn't even like visiting LA anymore. I can't explain it, but I'm making it work."
"What happens when you have school recitals, soccer games, all of that? You can't be here and there," Provenza told him.
"Hannah is one, and I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Anyway, all of this is just a distraction from your mess. What's the verdict on Liz's dress?" Andy laughed.
"Nothing. In fact," he paused as he typed on his phone. Andy glanced over as he typed, and then, Provenza nodded as he finished, "There, I told her to wear nothing to the gala."
Andy raised an eyebrow, "Seriously? You know how that sounds, right?" As Andy said that, Provenza got another text from Liz. His face turned red as he glanced at it, the content of the text just hitting him. "Flynn! Why did you let me text her that? She took it the wrong way!"
"I'm not surprised Provenza," Andy said laughing. "You were married to her, and then, you send her a text telling her to wear nothing? She assumes you are hitting on her. You'll be lucky to make it to the gala. If you don't show up, I'll tell Chief you are locked in a bedroom with your ex," he said laughing again.
"We're divorced! Why does she keep latching onto me?" Provenza asked.
"Hey," Andy nodded to him and continued, "you just said you'd take her home for the night after the gala. Seems like you both have blurred the lines, Provenza."
"Stuff it, Flynn," he gestured at Andy. "You are actually looking forward to this mess, aren't you?"
"No!" Andy exclaimed. "It's the opposite. I invited Sharon to go with me. She won't come, doesn't want to explain our situation to the entire LAPD. Whatever," he gestured and sighed. "I just want tomorrow to be over. If I didn't have to go to the gala, I'd be finding a way to get to Flagstaff."
Another text message alert came through for Provenza. Andy started to laugh, and Provenza just eyed him, "On second thought, Flynn, you can be my wingman tomorrow night. You're going to stop by my place, pick me up-along with Liz, take us to the gala. Last thing I need it to bring her home tomorrow. Christmas is coming up, and I don't want to spend the holiday with her, and I certainly don't want her thinking we are back together."
"Why not?" Andy shrugged. "The way you said that you have a reason."
"There's no way I'm buying her a Christmas gift," he huffed. "Liz stays out of my bed tomorrow night so I don't have to buy her a gift."
"I seriously can't believe you are using me as the middle man with your ex," Andy glanced at him.
"What are friends for?" Provenza smirked.
Just over 24 hours later, Andy, Provenza, and Liz found themselves standing in the ballroom entrance looking out at the scene.
"This place looks beautiful!" Liz exclaimed. "Oh, Louie, it really is putting me in the holiday mood," she said clasping his hand. Provenza eyed her, looking down at their now joined hands. Andy laughed and dropped his head. "Andy," she called to him, getting his attention, "it was so sweet of you to pick us up tonight. I have a feeling Louie and I are really going to enjoy ourselves. Who knows where the evening will take us?"
Andy nodded, noting Provenza had raised his eyebrows. To mess with him, Andy winked at Liz, "I'm sure it could take you back to Provenza's place after the ball. You look lovely, Liz. Provenza is a lucky guy."
"He might get lucky later," she grinned and swatted at Andy's arm as she leaned up and kissed Provenza on the cheek. He waved her off.
"Liz, I work with these people! None of that, please! You wanted to come, and I brought you so I wouldn't get stuck talking to boring people all night," he explained.
"Andy, we need to find you someone here," Liz said, eyeing the place and looking around. "I see a lot of prospects. Now, you need to let me know what type of woman you'd like to find tonight. I have known you a long time, but I'm not sure I could peg the right woman for you," she nodded.
"Not that one over there," Provenza shuddered and nodded to the corner. All eyes looked that way. Andy smiled at Liz and Provenza.
"Chief looks nice. Looks like the team is gathering over there. Let's go talk to them," he said.
"Oh, that's right!" Liz exclaimed. "I knew she looked familiar. That's your boss, right Louie?"
"Yes, that's the chief," Provenza nodded. "Flynn let's go make our appearance with the chief. We can get this over and get out of here," he hissed.
Liz leaned up toward his ear, "I like the way you think, Louie."
Andy started to chuckle as they walked, and Provenza looked up at Andy, "On second thought, maybe we should hang here with the team, you know, because we are required to be here."
"Andy, I'm serious about finding you someone," Liz told him.
"No thanks, Liz," Andy shook his head. "I'm not interested."
"I've told you about his daughter, Hannah," Provenza told her. "Flynn is stuck on the baby mama."
"Louie," she swatted at him. "Be nice. I'm sure she has a name."
"Several," Provenza chuckled. "I was being nice with that name. I agree with you we need to get Flynn interested in someone, but I think he's a goner."
"Well, where is she tonight, Andy? Surely if you are that interested in her, you invited her, right?" Liz asked.
"Home in Arizona," he shrugged, giving her a small smile. "She and the baby are home, setting up the Christmas tree, in fact. I spoke to her earlier this afternoon, and she said that was what she had planned for the weekend. Wish I could be there with them," he shrugged softly.
"Well, well, you two did show," Gabriel grinned at them as they walked up to the group. "We had bets you would both cancel on tonight."
"It's required, right?" Andy asked. "Chief," he nodded and looked around at the group, nodding to the rest. "What's going on here, anything good?"
"Oh, just surveying the scene, taking bets on which officers will meet their soulmate here tonight," Mike grinned and winked at them. "My wife didn't even want to come. You know this event is bad when your own spouse ducks out."
"Or your ex-spouse invites herself," Provenza offered. Liz smiled and swatted at Provenza's arm.
The group all started to chat as they looked around the room. Andy found himself standing between Liz and the chief. After a few minutes, Liz smacked at Andy's stomach, "Andy, I think you need to take a look over there," she gestured, and all eyes turned that way. "I would recognize her anywhere."