Lisbon sat nervously in the waiting room. The team was busy with a case, but she'd told them ahead of time she had an appointment she couldn't miss, though of course she gave them no hint as to what it might be for; still, she felt antsy, not knowing how everyone was getting on without her direction, even though it hadn't even been half an hour since she'd left work.
"Teresa?"
A female voice called her name; Lisbon stood and followed the woman, fighting to breathe normally. It felt like there was a leaden weight in her gut, and she hoped it was only her imagination.
The nurse did some basic doctor vital signs checks, then said, "Dr. Eisen will be with you shortly," and left Lisbon alone to once again ponder what life choices had led her here.
It's probably nothing, she told herself. Almost certainly nothing. I'm just here to make sure I don't have to worry…Just to be sure…
Her self-talk continued until the door opened and a surprisingly-young brunette woman entered the room and held out a hand.
"Teresa?" she asked politely. "I'm Dr. Eisen, nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you," Lisbon responded, forcing a tight smile.
"So…I see you came here to get a blood test," Dr. Eisen said, flipping through papers on one of those clipboards doctors were always carrying. The thought crossed Lisbon's mind that it wasn't so unlike the case files she herself always handled. "For…"
"Yes," Lisbon interrupted; even the word made her nervous.
"This is your first time here," Dr. Eisen went on; "we don't normally do that kind of work on a new patient."
Great. "If you can't do it, do you know someone who would?" Lisbon asked, trying not to sound too desperate.
"I didn't say we couldn't," Dr. Eisen said slowly. "Just that it's…unusual." She looked up from her papers and met Lisbon's gaze, a spark of dangerous curiosity in her warm, brown eyes. "Equally-accurate tests can be bought at any drugstore; have you not tried one?"
"No, ma'am," Lisbon replied. "I…can't."
The good doctor frowned. "Why not? I'd highly recommend-"
"I can't," Lisbon repeated. "I just…can't."
Dr. Eisen tilted her head, curiosity turning to concern. "You need to tell me why," she said, not forcefully. "If there's something wrong with-"
"It's not a medical reason," Lisbon said hurriedly. "I just…" She hesitated.
"…Yes?" Dr. Eisen pressed after a long minute.
Giving in, Lisbon sighed. "I'm Agent Lisbon," she confessed.
"Agent Lisbon…" repeated the doctor, before her eyes widened with recognition. "Not…that Agent Lisbon? Leader of the Red Team?"
"Yes," Lisbon said softly. Steeling herself, she lifted her chin. "Can you imagine what would happen if word got out that I even bought one of those tests? I need it taken under circumstances in which I can be assured confidentiality, where I know who to sue and make sure gets fired if they tell the media. Do you understand?"
"O-Of course," Dr. Eisen stammered, clearly surprised by the threat. "We take doctor-patient confidentiality seriously here, no matter who the patient is, I assure you."
"Then draw some blood, and do the test, and tell no one who it's for," Lisbon told her.
"Would you-?"
"Just draw the blood and get it done," Lisbon cut in, trying not to be too stern but also unwilling to stay longer than she had to. "It's probably going to be negative, I just need to be sure, and I can't stay long. I need to get back to work. I just…need to be sure."
For a moment, Dr. Eisen looked at her. "Would you…be willing to answer some questions while I do so, at least?" she asked.
"Fine," Lisbon relented.
As the doctor stood up, Lisbon took a deep breath. After her experiences with Red John, she was not fond of needles, but it was necessary; she extended the arm that wasn't marked with scars, rolling back her sleeve.
"If you're so sure the results will be negative, why are you checking?" Dr. Eisen asked as she prodded the crook of Lisbon's elbow for a vein.
"I threw up," Lisbon answered shortly. "For no reason."
"How long after-?"
"About two weeks," Lisbon replied, not willing to wait to hear the full question.
"That's rather early," she commented, tying the tourniquet all the same. "Not impossible, but definitely very early to be a sign of-"
"Like I said, it's probably nothing, I just need to be sure," Lisbon interrupted. "Maybe it's all in my head."
"You think it might be psychosomatic?" Dr. Eisen asked as she wiped Lisbon's skin with an alcohol swab and readied the needle.
"Probably," Lisbon answered, turning her head away from the deed as the prick came.
"That would explain it," Dr. Eisen said slowly.
Moments later, the blood was drawn, the needle removed, and the doctor pressed cotton against the spot of blood. Only then did Lisbon turn her head. The sight of the vial made her feel nauseous; not because it was blood, not even because it was her blood, but because of what it might mean, what it even suggested.
Lisbon expected the doctor to go, but she didn't. Instead, she just looked at Lisbon with a steady gaze, that spark of curiosity igniting dangerously again.
"What?" Lisbon asked.
"Say the result is positive," Dr. Eisen said slowly. "Please, just tell me…is it…him?"
Emerald eyes narrowed in anger. "Remember what I said about lawsuits," she growled. "And you know I'd win; fame goes both ways."
"Yes, I won't tell…but…" Surprisingly, Dr. Eisen didn't back away, instead holding Lisbon's glare steadily.
"…Alright, fine, yes," Lisbon answered. "Yes, it would be. But if anything about this makes it into the news, I know who to go after."
The answer alone sent Dr. Eisen's expression splitting into a tremendous grin. "I won't tell," she promised. "I'm just glad I'll be the first to know!"
"Know what?" Lisbon snapped. "Nothing. Like you yourself said, it's more likely that it's nothing. And you know what? Now you owe me the favor of trying to get the results delivered to me at work - I don't spend much time at home, and I want this out of the way as soon as possible."
"How am I supposed to get it to you without anyone knowing who the test is for?" Dr. Eisen asked.
"That's your problem, not mine," Lisbon stated, standing. "Now, if that's all, I'd like to go back to work."
"Of course, ma'am," was all Dr. Eisen managed to say before Lisbon showed herself out. The less time she spent in this place, the better.
~o~
Days passed, and Lisbon tried to work as normal, as though nothing was bothering her. The occasional knowing glance from Jane told her that he knew something was up, but he didn't ask, and she hadn't had any delusions about being able to fool him anyway. Every time she threw up, she clung to one word: psychosomatic. It was all in her head, she was tricking her body into acting this way. She wasn't really about to lose her job, lose everything…
Finally, when she got her mail at work, there was an envelope with the mark she'd been dreading. As soon as she saw it, she went into her office and shut the door, glad the others had things to keep them busy. She sat down, swallowed, took a deep breath, tore open the envelope, and unfolded the contents.
The first thing that leapt out at her was the red ink. Red, she thought, unable to suppress a shudder. Why does it have to be red, of all colors?
But it was appropriate; for there, marked in the Color of Death, was a sentence far worse.
No…
She read it again, that damned word in bold red ink, again and again, hoping her eyes were playing tricks on her, hoping she would blink and it would change, but it didn't. Sensations flashed through her mind and body like lightning, she felt hot and cold and dizzy and lightheaded and confused and scared and upset and angry-
"Jane…" she croaked, her hands shaking.
Jerkily, she stood, like a puppet on strings, and lurched out of her office, the cursed paper still clenched in her grasp. Only one thing was on her mind, the one place she always turned for comfort. But this time, he was the opposite…
Jane was lounging on his couch, probably in the middle of scheming some outlandish plot to close the current case - it was about time for him to pull one of his stunts, they'd been on this one for a day already. This time, though, it would have to wait at best. Lisbon all but stumbled into the room, and the sound of her uneven steps had Jane up and alert before she could even speak. Their eyes met, and any thoughts he was having about the case or anything else in the world were banished.
"What's wrong?" he asked in a low voice, standing quickly.
She tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come.
"Lisbon?" Concern that bordered on panic lit in his chest as he drew close to her; nothing rendered her speechless, nothing. "What's going on? Talk to me."
After another moment of futile effort, Lisbon shook her head and turned, gesturing for him to follow. He did so without a word of protest, alarmed, all the way to her office, where they were then shut in, alone. Still, she couldn't speak, couldn't even look at him now as it all began to sink in. There was only one thing to do. Silently, she held out the paper towards him.
Hesitantly, unsure what to think, Jane took the paper and looked at it. It was a medical report, and that alone was enough to set him on edge. Slowly, carefully, he digested the contents, taking the time to understand what he was seeing, all the way down to the word marked in bold red ink:
POSITIVE
A minute passed as he processed this. Eventually, she turned to face him, and he looked up at her.
"Is this…?" he asked, unsure how to phrase it.
She nodded.
"Oh." He looked at the paper again. "I, uh…I see." Another moment, and then he nodded. "Okay."
"Okay?" she asked, hysteria clawing at her throat. "That's all you have to say for yourself?!"
"Say for-? Lisbon, stay calm," he told her, noting the look in her eyes.
But it was the wrong thing to say. "Stay calm?!" she exclaimed. "Stay calm?! Patrick Jane, I am pregnant! There is a living human being growing inside of me right now!"
"I know, I understand," he told her, setting the page aside and reaching for her. She jerked away, her eyes wild. "It's okay."
"It is not okay!" she screamed. "My life is over!"
"Well, that's a bit-"
"Shut up!" she yelled. "You did this to me!" She started pacing, needing to move, needing to be in action, lurching all around the room, her hands fisted in her hair.
"Lisbon, calm down," Jane commanded her. When she ignored him, he stepped forward to catch her in the middle of her flailing, grabbing her by the arms. "Calm down!" he said again, trying to get her to look at him, which she refused to do. "I will make this okay."
"You will not make this okay!" she cried, turning a tearful glare on him. "There's nothing you can do to fix this!"
"No, you're right, I can't 'fix' it, but I can make it okay," he said calmly. "You need to calm down. You're hysterical."
"Like hell I am!"
"Lisbon, sit," Jane ordered, guiding her to her couch and pushing her down. "Sit down, and take a breath. It's going to be okay."
"It is not," she protested, though she made no move to get up. "It can't be okay. Nothing you do can make this okay."
"I will make this okay, I promise," he vowed.
"How?" she demanded, glaring up at him again.
"I, uh…" He faltered. "I'm working on it."
"Of course," she muttered, turning her face to the floor.
"Just give me a minute," he told her. Taking a deep breath of his own, he paced for a minute, keeping his steps measured and calm as his mind raced. "Okay," he said at last, "I just need to do three things, and everything will be fine."
"Where'd you come up with three?" Lisbon asked despite herself, certain he was making a number up.
But he was already reaching into his pocket for his phone. Quickly punching in a speed dial, he held the phone up to his ear.
"Hello, Charlotte?" he asked. "It's Patrick. Yes, hi. I'm, uh, doing all right…Listen, could you please come to CBI HQ? Now? Your sister needs you. Yes, now. Right now. Okay. Do you need me to get you past security? All right, call me when you get here. Thanks. See you soon." He hung up.
"You going to tell the world?" Lisbon asked in a dead voice.
"Not yet, not yet," he said. "It's just, I have to go do a couple of things, and I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone, you might do something stupid."
This got the reaction he was hoping for: a chuckle forced its way out of Lisbon despite everything.
He smiled at her. "It's going to be okay," he said again. "I promise."
She sighed. "I appreciate that you're trying to help," she conceded, "but there's nothing you can do. I have to turn in my badge-"
"You are not turning in your badge," Jane told her sternly, stepping forward to keep her from standing up. "I told you, I'm not going to cost you your job."
"You were always going to cost me my job." Somehow, she managed to form a wan smile, her hysteria retreating as she came to terms with what had to happen. "Maybe-"
But Jane was having none of it. "Lisbon, I am not going to cost you your job," he told her again. "I can make this okay. When have I ever misled you?"
"I can think of plenty of times!" Lisbon exclaimed.
"Okay, well, when have I ever promised you things would be okay and been wrong?" he revised.
"I…well…there's a first time for everything!" she stammered. "And you can't fix this, Jane, there's nothing you can do!"
"There is, and I'm going to do it," he avowed. His phone rang, and he answered. "Hi, are you here? Good. I'll be right down." Hanging up, he turned on Lisbon again. "I'm going to go get Charlotte so she can sit with you. Do not leave this room."
"Jane-"
"Lisbon, trust me," he ordered her. When she didn't respond, he reached out and took her chin in his hand, tilting her face towards his until she met his eyes. "Trust me," he repeated. The calm and confidence she saw in his gaze was enough to make her nod.
"Okay," she said.
"Good." He straightened up, then hurried out to let Charlotte in. As soon as the door closed, Lisbon buried her face in her hands.
My life is over…
This was all that managed to work its way through her mind before she heard her office door open again.
"Sis?"
The sound of her foster sister's voice caused Lisbon to look up.
"Hey," Charlotte said, smiling at her. "What's going on?"
Lisbon couldn't speak, suddenly very conscious of the lie she wore around her neck.
"Uh, listen, Charlotte, I need you to stay here with Lisbon and make sure she doesn't leave or - or make any phone calls," Jane added as it occurred to him. "Just, sit with her and look after her. I have some things I need to take care of; I'll come back when everything's settled."
"What is going on?" Charlotte asked him.
Jane shrugged. "I'll let her tell you when she feels ready," he replied. "In the meantime, can I count on you?"
"Yes, of course!" Charlotte responded.
"Good," Jane said, sparing her a smile. He glanced at Lisbon, his blue eyes unreadable, as he seemed to search for the right words. Finding none, he simply nodded at her and left.
Charlotte watched him go, then turned on Lisbon as soon as the door closed. "Sis, what is going on?" she asked again, not harshly.
But she didn't have to be harsh; the question alone was painful enough. Lisbon didn't quite manage to cover her face with her hands before a tear leaked from one eye.
~o~
Though Jane walked with purpose, his mind was still catching up. He'd played it cool for Lisbon, but internally, he struggled to not snap. Loving again was one thing, but to suddenly be faced with parenthood again…Could he really do it? He didn't even bother to entertain the idea of an abortion, as he knew she wouldn't, despite everything, which only left…
It wasn't until he was in his car that something else occurred to him: I need to tell the team. Should I go back and do it now?…No, no, do the away task first, tell them after.
It probably wasn't safe to drive when coming to terms with something like this, but he had no choice, it was too urgent. Before he could blink, he was home, and still moving without really willing it. Where had he left it? He hadn't paid it a second thought since he'd tossed it in a random drawer, and now it took too long to find.
At the time, he'd wondered why he kept it. Perhaps he'd always known.
~o~
Charlotte didn't press her sister when she was so clearly upset, despite her burning questions. Restraint didn't come easy to her, but this was Terry, she had to make an exception. So she sat beside her and put an arm around her while she fought back tears. It wasn't like Terry to cry, so it had to be serious…
After a couple of minutes, Lisbon pulled herself together, focusing on breathing. She didn't want to think about it, but with her too-curious foster sister right there, she knew she couldn't avoid it for long.
"Terry?" Charlotte asked hesitantly. "I know it's gotta be serious, but…what's going on? Please tell me."
Lisbon sighed, long and deep, before resigning herself and reaching up to her neck to undo the clasp of her necklace. "Here," she told Charlotte without looking at her, holding the piece of jewelry out like an offering. "I shouldn't be wearing this anymore."
This was probably the last thing Charlotte had expected. With a gasp of delight, she took the necklace eagerly. "Oh my god!" she squealed. "Who-? Wait, no, don't tell me. Is it him?"
Another sigh. "Yes," Lisbon admitted.
"I knew it!" Charlotte exclaimed, fist-pumping. "Awesome!"
"Yeah, don't get too excited," Lisbon said dully, and she gestured to her desk with her head. "Jane put a paper down over there. Go take a look."
The eager reporter didn't need to be told twice; it was all she could do to not launch herself at the desk and knock it over. Though there were many papers on Lisbon's desk, only one stood out, and Charlotte grabbed for it, then read it. Slowly, the enormity of the situation sank in, and her smile faded. "Oh," she managed.
"Yeah," Lisbon repeated. "Oh."
"Um…Well…" What could she even say? Most women would consider this good news, but maternity leave alone would seem worse than death to her all-business sister. "I, uh…"
"Don't bother," Lisbon told her, her gaze still fixated on the floor. "There's nothing you can say."
"I…yeah," Charlotte agreed with a sigh. Setting the paper back where it had been, she joined her sister on the couch once more. "I know you. I know how bad this seems. But…maybe it won't be as bad as you think?"
Lisbon turned incredulous eyes on her sister. "I'm his boss," she said. "It's bad enough that I'm pregnant, what's worse is that I'm going to lose my job!" She rubbed her hands over her face again. "How can this - it was just one time! We didn't…I didn't…We only had the one time, and we stopped, because I'm his boss, and just…How can one time…?"
Cringing, Charlotte pointed out, "One time is all it takes."
"Yeah, I know," Lisbon sighed. "I know. It's my fault. I shouldn't have let it happen."
"What did happen?" Charlotte asked. "Three weeks ago I couldn't even talk to you you were so obsessed with hating him. First of all, what was even up with that?"
"I don't know," Lisbon groaned. "I honestly don't know. I look back on that time and it's like I'm remembering a dream, or someone else's life. It didn't make any sense, the way I was acting. I just don't know…"
"Okay…well, what happened, exactly?" Charlotte asked. "I'm glad you got over it, but what happened? You never told me."
"Yeah, I've been kind of busy salvaging my career," Lisbon said bitterly. Then she took a breath and told her sister about that night.
~o~
Director Bertram was on the phone when Jane walked to his office. When Jane walked in without knocking, he quickly bid the person on the other end goodbye and hung up.
"Jane," he said by way of greeting. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Uh, no pleasure," Jane told him, reaching into his pocket, "I'm just here to uh…tell you that I quit."
He set his badge on the director's desk.
Bertram stared, but strangely, Jane didn't sense nearly as much surprise as he was expecting - if anything, the man was trying to act more surprised than he really was. If he hadn't had so much on his mind, Jane might have wondered about it.
"I see," Bertram managed. "May I ask why?"
"You'll know pretty soon," Jane told him.
"Does Lisbon know?"
"Uh, no, but she will, and she knows why," Jane replied.
"Uh-huh." Bertram mulled over this for a few moments before saying, "You know, you're supposed to give notice before quitting, from any job, and the CBI is no exception."
"Well, I'm not really an agent, I'm just a consultant," Jane said dismissively. "Besides, notice is supposed to be so you can find a replacement, and, well, you can't really replace me."
"Point taken," Bertram conceded with a hint of a chuckle. "But why not just give notice now?"
"It's, uh, kind of urgent," Jane answered. "Again, you'll see soon, I just need to officially not be working here before word gets out."
"Should I be concerned?" Bertram asked.
"No, no," Jane assured him, "it's nothing you need to worry about, not something that will ever concern you. It's just…what has to happen."
There should have been more questions. Instead, Bertram simply nodded. "Very well," he said, leaning forward to take the badge; "Patrick Jane, you no longer work for the CBI."
"Thank you," Jane said, sparing him a smile. "Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Patrick," Bertram called after him. Had Jane been facing the older man, he would have noticed a gleam in his eye.
~o~
"So what happens now?" Charlotte asked.
Lisbon took a deep breath. "I don't know," she responded. "I have to quit, but Jane says he's doing something so I can keep my job…I don't know how he plans to do it, but…"
"His plans always seem to work," Charlotte pointed out.
"I know," Lisbon mumbled.
There was silence for a minute. For a fleeting moment, Lisbon dared to hope that maybe Jane really could do something so that she could keep her career; as soon as she opened herself to that possibility, though, another glaring issue presented itself.
"Even if it does, though…I have to be a mother," Lisbon said, anxiety rising. "Damn it, Charlie, I can't be a mother and a cop! I can't be pregnant and a cop! I-I'd have to take maternity leave, and-"
"Yeah, that's kinda what my first thought was when I read that," Charlotte agreed.
Rubbing a hand over her forehead, Lisbon groaned. "Hightower has two kids…but how does she do it?"
"Who?"
"My boss," Lisbon explained, "under Director Bertram. She has two kids. But…"
"Well then, it's totally possible," Charlotte said.
"But maternity leave!"
"Yeah…" Charlotte nodded sympathetically, understanding as few others could just how hellish that would be for her sister. Then she shrugged. "You could always get an abortion."
"No," Lisbon responded immediately.
Charlotte blinked. "Why not?" she asked. "It's legal, it's not even difficult, you only just got pregnant-"
"I said no!" Lisbon snapped.
"Okay…" Charlotte's brow furrowed. "But…why not? I mean, you're acting like being pregnant is the worst thing in the world, and there's an easy way out…"
Several things came to Lisbon's mind. The idea of a surgical procedure. The callous attitude towards life it would take to make that decision, to play god with a life that wasn't hers. The blood she saw every day, often spilled because someone thought it would make their lives easier to kill another person. Her own blood spilled, her own life almost taken…"I can't," she said softly. "I just…can't. It's complicated, sis, but just trust me, I can't."
"Alright," Charlotte conceded, though she was dying to press Lisbon for answers. Instead, she smiled. "Hey," she said, "maybe it'll be a girl."
For a moment, Lisbon chuckled, finally meeting her sister's eyes. Then she remembered what that would mean, and her face fell. "I hope not," she croaked.
"Why not?" Charlotte asked, frowning.
"Sis…" Another issue Lisbon struggled to find the words for. "Do you…do you know what the name of Jane's first daughter was?"
"Yeah," Charlotte replied; "Charlotte, just like me." She blinked, then her eyes widened. "Oh," she said.
"Yeah," Lisbon said, "I don't think that would go over well."
"But we…we made a sister pledge!" Charlotte protested. "Maybe it's not that bad. Ask him, at least?"
"I'm just going to hope it's a boy," Lisbon sighed, turning to the floor again. As if this issue wasn't complicated enough, she had to have made a promise with her sister that they would name their first daughters after each other if they had any, when her sister bore the worst possible name…
~o~
Jane moved as slowly as possible as he headed back towards Lisbon's office, fiddling with the little box in his pocket. Everything was happening all at once, it was too much, too soon. Desperate for some excuse to not move forward with his plan, he remembered that he had to say goodbye to the rest of the team and turned on his heel, headed for the common office. His desk caught his eye first. I'll need to empty that at some point…
Giving himself a shake to bring him back to the moment, he cleared his throat, getting the attention of Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt, who fortunately were all hard at work at their own desks instead of out in the field. They're waiting for my next plan, he thought, disappointed. They aren't ready to finish this case without me…
"Jane?" Rigsby asked.
"Uh…" What was he even supposed to say? It was all so sudden.
"Something wrong?" Cho inquired.
"I, uh…well, yes and no," Jane replied, and everyone stood in alarm. "It's nothing to do with the case," he told them quickly, before they got the wrong idea. "I just, uh…" He shrugged, unable to find a way to break it gently. "I quit."
"Quit?" Rigsby gasped. "Quit what?"
"Uh, working here," Jane answered awkwardly. "I'm, uh…not going to be on the team anymore."
"Why? What happened?" Van Pelt demanded.
"Nothing bad," Jane assured her with a wave of his hand. "I just, uh, can't work here anymore. So, this is goodbye."
"Jane, whatever's going on-"
"There's nothing you can do," Jane cut Rigsby off. "It's not even a bad thing, really…I mean, not really. It's already done, I've already turned in my badge."
Stunned silence was the only sound in the room. Reading his friends quickly, Jane saw that Rigsby was on the verge of panic, Cho didn't know what to think, and Van Pelt's frown…was that suspicion?
"How are we supposed to be the Red Team without you?" Cho finally asked.
Jane gave them all an indulgent smile. "Come on," he said, "you're all great cops, you can close cases without me…and I'd like to think I've taught you a few things." He shrugged again. "If anything, you rely on me too much; it's just as well that I'm going."
"Jane…" Van Pelt's eyes asked questions he couldn't answer yet.
"It's been an honor working with all of you," Jane told them. Taking a breath, he went on, "All three of you have been…more than just coworkers, more than even just friends; you've been my family, for so many years. I'm grateful to each of you, for every moment we've been a team together, and I wish I could stay…but I can't. I'm sorry. If any of you ever need my help with something besides work, you can always call me." Stepping forward, he held out a hand to Van Pelt. "Grace," he said formally.
Speechless, she shook his hand.
"Wayne," Jane said, approaching Rigsby next.
"Good luck, man," Rigsby managed, shaking his hand.
"Thanks," Jane said with a smile before turning to Cho. "Kimball."
"It's been an honor working with you, too," Cho told him with the hand shake.
Another smile, and Jane looked around at them all. "Goodbye, my friends," he told them, and he left. Slowly. Still dragging his heels. There was nothing else he could do to stall. He was so caught up in trying to psych himself up for what he had to do, he didn't notice Van Pelt breeze past him.
~o~
"What is taking him so long?" Lisbon groaned.
"Maybe he's going to propose to you and he's nervous," Charlotte suggested.
"Oh, please," Lisbon scoffed.
"What?" Charlotte exclaimed. "What's so unlikely about that?"
"That's not…He's not going to do that," Lisbon said.
"You're just afraid to hope for it," Charlotte dismissed. "Come on, sis, what else could he do? You're pregnant with his child."
"This isn't the 70's," Lisbon pointed out. "He doesn't have to marry me just because he knocked me up."
"But he loves you," Charlotte pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah," Lisbon muttered. Despite that one night they'd shared, baring everything to each other, it was still hard to believe he could feel that way about her. She knew full well how deeply he'd loved his wife; how could she compete with that?
Oblivious to her sister's thoughts, Charlotte went on, "You're so nervous about being a mother, but why should you have to be a parent by yourself? He had a kid once, he'll know what to do."
"Oh, that's helpful," Lisbon commented sarcastically.
"How is that not helpful?" Charlotte demanded.
"Reminding me that I'll have to be a mom, without a job…"
"Why does it have to be you?" Charlotte asked. "Why can't he leave?"
"You of all people should know why Jane can't leave the CBI," Lisbon responded, giving her a pointed look. "What's the Red Team without him?"
"Well, yeah," Charlotte admitted, "but he said he'd take the fall if there had to be consequences. People aren't really able to say no to him." A smirk crossed her face. "The fact that you're sitting here is proof of that."
"Oh, hush."
~o~
Van Pelt trotted down the hall, her target in sight. She didn't know what she'd been saving her trump card for, but Jane quitting his job at the CBI was going too far; someone needed to provide answers.
Bertram was filling out paperwork when Van Pelt stormed in, immediately fixing her cop stare on him.
"Agent Van Pelt," he greeted, looking up. "What can I do for you?"
No point not just coming out with it. "Why did Jane quit?" she demanded.
The Director of the CBI blinked, sitting back in his chair. "I don't know," he answered. "I asked, and he wouldn't tell me."
"You do know," Van Pelt said coldly. "I know you do."
"What makes you so sure?" he asked, chuckling.
"I heard you on the phone, a few hours before Red John died," Van Pelt told him. "You were talking to Dove. I know you're one of Red John's friends."
Just like that, Bertram's amusement died. "I see," he said slowly. "Well then…that changes…" Slowly, his smile returned. "…absolutely nothing," he finished.
"So you don't deny it?"
"Would you believe me if I did?"
"Do you always answer a question with a question?"
Bertram chuckled again. "Very funny," he commented. "Now then…" He straightened in his seat. "Tell me, I am curious: why haven't you told anyone this?"
"I'm not sure," Van Pelt replied coolly. "But I could, if you don't tell me what you did to Jane."
"What I-? Oh! Oh," Bertram laughed. "You think we did something to make him quit?" Shaking his head, he told her, "No, this had nothing to do with us."
"So you do know," Van Pelt stated.
A sigh. "Dove told me," Bertram confessed.
"So she's monitoring Red John's surveillance, like he used to."
"Well, yes," Bertram admitted. "How else can she be in charge? But there's no harm in it. She can't do the things RJ did, and she doesn't have to kill people."
"Maybe she wants to?" Van Pelt asked pointedly.
"Nah," Bertram said, shaking his head dismissively. "None of us do. RJ didn't either, but he didn't have a choice."
Van Pelt could only roll her eyes.
"As for Jane," Bertram went on, "we had absolutely nothing to do with why he quit. You didn't have to come here and interrogate me, you'll find out soon enough anyway, and it's not something to be upset about. If anything, you should congratulate them."
"Them?" Van Pelt asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'll let you find out from the source," Bertram told her cryptically.
They stared off for a minute.
"Now then," Bertram said at last, leaning forward on his desk, "you know my secret. What are you going to do with it?"
Unsure of her answer, Van Pelt settled for maintaining her icy glare.
"I hope we can come to an agreement," Bertram went on when she didn't reply. "After all, you have secrets that would get you fired, too."
"What do you mean?" The question was out of Van Pelt's mouth without her willing it, her blood running cold.
As if he could read her mind, Bertram smirked. "Agent Rigsby," he said by way of response. "All Friends of Red John know you're involved with him. Unfortunately, the only proof I have, I have because of my allegiance, so I can't come forward with it…but if someone else revealed my secret, what would stop me from ending your career?"
"How many people do you think would care?" Van Pelt asked; they'd kept their relationship a secret even after they became the Red Team, but Jane's assurance that they could break the rules and keep their jobs hadn't been forgotten.
"Patrick Jane just quit," Bertram pointed out; "the star of the Red Team is gone. You think anyone cares about you, or Agents Rigsby or Cho? Or even Agent Lisbon, for that matter? Without Jane, you're just another team of cops in the CBI. Good cops, sure, but ordinary cops all the same. Without Jane to vouch for you, you can't get away with breaking the rules."
"So that's it, then?" Van Pelt asked, maintaining her frosty demeanor. "I keep your secret and you keep mine, we don't tell on each other and just pretend everything's normal?"
"That sounds acceptable to me," Bertram said, shrugging. "How about you?"
She didn't reply right away, keeping her cop glare fixed on him. There was no way she could refuse; he could end her career, which meant as much to her as it ever had - the safety net of being the Red Team had been a relief, but she and Rigsby had agreed to keep it secret anyway, because her place was in law enforcement. Still, leaving one of Red John's friends in charge of the CBI…
After a minute, he chuckled. "It's a shame RJ's demon never got to see this side of you," he told her. "You can be a real hardass when you want to be; you don't really deserve the name 'Rabbit'."
"Shut up!" she growled, the mention of what Red John had called her biting deep.
"Do we have an agreement?" he asked her.
They stared down, like two countries with nuclear warheads pointed directly at each other, sharing the understanding that they wouldn't fire unless the other did first.
"…Fine," she finally spat, and she turned and left.
~o~
Jane was running out of steps to delay. He couldn't appear hesitant once he was in sight of the sisters - Lisbon could never, ever know that he feared this more than he'd feared even Red John. It wasn't that he was uncertain - he didn't just need to do this, he wanted to do this. But that didn't make it easy.
Just out of sight of Lisbon's office, he stopped and took a deep breath. There's nothing to be afraid of, he told himself, and no reason to put it off. The sooner it's done, the better for everyone. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be sincere.
Clinging to this thought, he strode forward the rest of the way and opened the door. "Hey," he greeted Lisbon and Charlotte, who were sitting together on Lisbon's couch, their conversation cut off by his arrival.
"Jane, there you are," Lisbon said, and only he would ever have noticed her guarded tone.
"Here I am," he responded, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "Everything's taken care of."
"What did you do?" Charlotte asked curiously.
"I, uh…I quit," Jane answered.
Lisbon shot up from her seat, but interestingly, Charlotte just smiled, as though she'd already known. "What?" Lisbon exclaimed.
"I quit," Jane repeated. "I don't work here anymore, you're no longer my boss, so you don't have to worry about anything."
"But you - you can't quit!" she spluttered. "You can't! We're the Red Team!"
"I'm sure your sister here can tell the world about the transition in a reasonable manner," Jane told her. "And really, we wouldn't be the Red Team without you, either."
"But…" Lisbon was lost for words.
Jane smiled at her. "Come on, Lisbon, I couldn't work for anyone else," he said fondly. "How would anyone else put up with me? And who else could keep me grounded while still giving me enough free rein to close cases? Whoever replaced you would either be too much in awe of me to keep me in check or too strict to let me do anything useful."
They might have stood there in silence for minutes if Charlotte hadn't stood. "What are you going to do now?" she asked Jane. "Don't tell me I have to quit my job."
"I'm thinking I might become a private detective," Jane replied; he had thought about this, knowing he couldn't stop catching bad guys and the solution presenting itself easily. "It'd be easier anyway - the only reason I ever joined the CBI was because of Red John."
"Yeah, and who's going to keep you from doing something stupid if you're going solo?" Lisbon demanded, still reeling.
Here we go. "You, I hope," Jane replied, fiddling with the box in his pocket. "That is, I, uh…" He cleared his throat, distantly noticing that Charlotte had tucked herself in a corner of the room, as though trying to give them space.
"What?" Lisbon asked.
A deep breath. Another. Just say it, damn it! "Lisbon, from the day I met you, you've been my best friend," he began. "You stood by me when I had no one, and you gave me hope when I had none; you gave me a purpose, you gave me my life back. You are the strongest, bravest, most amazing person I have ever met. Whether we're working together or not, I don't know how I could ever live without you. So…" Before he could lose his nerve, Jane forced himself down on one knee and took the box out of his pocket. As though from miles away, he heard the sound of Charlotte squealing through the hands she had clamped over her mouth; his focus entirely on the woman before him, he opened the box to reveal the ring he'd been keeping, perhaps for this very moment. "Teresa Lisbon, will you marry me?" he asked.
Lisbon felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her, her brain taking too long to process what was happening. It was everything she'd ever wanted, had never dared to hope for. There was only a moment's hesitation - it wouldn't be easy, nothing about it would be simple. But despite that…
"Yes," she breathed."
Yes, I was actually that close to finishing this installment when the hiatus began. No, I am not going to write the wedding - writing the proposal was difficult enough, I pushed through it because I couldn't afford another hiatus, but I feel there is no way I could ever do the wedding justice. I might be mistaken, since I stopped watching after S4E9, but I believe I heard that the canonical series finale was Jane and Lisbon getting married; maybe just watch that and pretend Lisbon's pregnant? I can't imagine it would be TOO different…I should probably get around to seeing it myself at some point…
Before anyone calls me out on it: Yes, that is why I named Lisbon's sister after Jane's daughter. To be completely fair, had I written this without taking a hiatus, Lisbon was going to just have a brain fart near the end of her pregnancy and randomly suggest they name their daughter after her sister on a whim without making the connection about the name; I think this works better. It's still cringey, but it's better than it would have been. There IS a reason why Jane's daughter needs to have the same name, a reason that may or may not come out in the future.
As previously stated, there will be at least one more installment, which will be called "A Stubborn Red Streak"; there might be a bit of a wait for this, but I feel confident in promising that it won't be a matter of years this time. For now, I leave you with this teaser: Red John may be dead, but he had one last trick hiding up his sleeve, and it will be revealed at the end of the next installment. You won't guess what it is, so don't try. ;D
Lastly, since pure coincidence has me posting this less than two hours before Christmas Day: Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates the holiday! :D