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The Korcarie wilds are an eerie place. The pines loom above you, surround you, make you feel small. It was worse since we traveled on foot.
Wolves set upon us as soon as we went beyond the shadow of Ostagar's walls. Daveth slew half before they even reached our blades, he's shown surprising spirit for a gutter thief from Denerim. One of them slammed into my shield sent me tumbling into the shallow creek nearby, and flung me to the ground. I had lost my sword,but I was barely able to grab my shield before the beast was upon me. As I fought with every ounce of strength to keep those thrashing fangs from ripping my very scared looking face off, I begun to comprehend what those Howe men who faced Griffon had felt.
. Right before my strength gave in, Alistair found me, and stabbed the animal. The wolf had no idea what was happening, nor did I. So imagine me lying their on my haunches, my mouth agape in bewildered frozen terror, and you'll have the absurd scene. I must admit I blushed a little when he extended his hand to help me up. What am I twelve? And at a time like this.
Near the base of the hill we found an injured scout. He claimed his entire party had been killed by darkspawn. He was a bloodied wreck and part of me thought we should put the poor man out of his misery. Thankfully Alistair had better knowledge of healing than I and was able to patch him up enough to return to camp. He said his scouting band was ambushed by darkspawn. He had a wild look of terror in his eye, one that seemed to me to be half mad.
We later found his comrades bodies strew about the marsh. Several were hanged on a dead tree. The darkspawn must be intelligent enough to understand to understand intimidation.
Their strategy certainly got the better of Jory. So much so that Alistair and I had to stop to calm him down. Apparently all joined Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn. As Daveth snaked that, "we may die, but we'll be warned about it first." I cannot blame Sir Jory for his fear. I felt something of the sort as well. But after having your home destroyed and your relatives butchered, other terrifying things just pale in comparison. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
We first encountered the dreadful creatures near some ruins. Fighting those things…it was like holding off the wild bloodlust of the wolves and the human cruelty of Howe's men rolled into one foul abomination. The creature I fought, a Hurlock, Alistair later informed me, it had a face. It looked human. Except it wasn't. It's features kind of remind you of a corpse. Except I don't think corpses display any active malice.
We encountered several more bands of darkspawn as we made our way to the outpost. One of them was a mage, called an Emissary. Unlike the Apostate I faced before, this one wore surprisingly elaborate armor, it even had a skull on it's chest. It wore some sort of freaky headdress as well, with blades jutting out of one side and it's face covered with leather strips.. It sent some sort of spell into the air, my guess a summons to allies, it didn't have the chance to do much else because we quickly fell upon it and slew it. We moved just a bit across the bridge, and suddenly we were attacked by half an army of darkspawn. Amongst them were short creatures, called Genlocks.
Alistair told me that Grey Wardens say they are corruptions of Dwarves, twisted parodies of the stout men of the Deep Roads. All around I would prefer to face Hurlocks. End it was a struggle to face both together, turing to keep my eyes dead ahead and yet watching for creatures half my hight turing to kneecap me. I can't wait until I can sense darkspawn. Then I'll only have to worry about Howe's men slitting my throat while I sleep. I should make not that I only know some of these things because I insisted we stop to study it and see if it had valuables on it's person, for intelligence purposes, in spite of what Daveth thought.
The outpost as it turned out was on a hill. The darkspawn, as it turned out, had already reached it. This, I discovered, only when an arrow struck my shied. We fell back and had Daveth pick off their Archers. Jory said it was cowardly. I asked him if he wanted us to charge through a hail of arrows, and he remained silent. Several Hurlocks grew impulsive and charged down the hill to flus us out. We slew them with ease. We then charged put the hill and clashed with the survivors. Our biggest challenge was the leader, a Hurlock clad head to toe in hideous thick plate. I kept him busty while Daveth snuck around to stab him in the back. I had cheated death yet again.
We reach the top of the hill, ragged, cut up, exhausted, and generally just eager to see the last of this dam forrest, and what do I find? No treaties!
I hardly had time to take in the revelation when I heard a sultry voice say "well well what have we here". It was a girl, around my age, though, judging by her haughty demeanor, she seemed to think herself much older. She asked if we were "scavengers or intruders". The question was superfluous, I am certain she already knew the answer.
I do it too, ask a question you already know the answer to to see how the other guy responds. That can give you clues about how they think.
Alistair urged me not to answer, citing the fact that their were probably other Chasind nearby. Morrigan asked, again rhetorically, if we feared that barbarians would "swoop down upon us." This led our senior Warden to state that "swooping is bad." Good to know. Daveth was of the opinion that she was a witch of the wilds, and sought to put us in the cook pot. Jory opined that if the pot was warmer than the forest than that would be a nice change. I couldn't help but agree.
She seemed to take a liking to me, saying that women didn't "frighten like little boys.", and asked my name. I told her mine, and she told me hers. She did not deny being an apostate, doing so would be useless as the staff on her back and general demeanor gave her away. Plus their is no way she could wear only skimpy rags in a place as cold as this forest without some kind of magic. When Alistair informed her of the Chantry's view of such mages she simply replied that she had nothing to fear from priests. I suspect she's had some run ins with the Templars.
Alistair demanded that she return the treaties at once but Morrigan said she would not, as she was not the one that removed them. I asked her who did and she revealed the culprit was her mother, and offered to take us to her. Normally I would be against going deeper into an uncharted forest with a strange,probably criminal, woman, Fergus found out that's a bad idea the hard way. But we had a mission to fulfill, and i had confidence that if it turned out to be a trap me and my "noble companions" would be able to fight them off.
Her mother lived in a small hut entombed in the forest. Their didn't appear to be any others for miles. As it turned out she had been keeping the treaties safe. She claimed that she was expecting us, which Alistair doubted. Morrigan's mother shared her daughter's low opinion of men and favorable opinion of me. She asked if my "woman's mind" gave me a different viewpoint. I told her I didn't know what to believe and she seemed pleased, saying that my statement possessed more wisdom that it implied. Then she mixed up wisdom with obliviousness and went on a bizarre tangent.
As it turned out the seas had naturally weekend over time, but this women had taken it upon herself to keep them safe. She claimed the Blight was a greater threat than we realized. When I asked her what she meant by that she said that the threat was is ether greater or we realize less. And then asked herself if the threat was nothing, or we realized nothing. She then burst out into the exact sort of cackle one expects of a witch.
I am still not sure what to believe. This woman seemed quite mad. And yet somehow it seemed to me she knew more than all of us. I am getting an ominous feeling. Like the walls of fate are drawing closer and closer in a trap, and we stand here to blind dumb and deaf to realize what is happening.
After we received the treaties Morrigan's mother had her show us out of the woods and back to Ostagar. By that time it was dark and witch or no, we would have been lost in those Darkspawn infested woods without this girl's aid. She acted as if we were all children beneath her notice. And yet I detected a certain curiosity, maybe even vulnerability, wanting to reach out.
When we reached the gates I wished her well and offered to pray for her and her family's safety.
Morrigan said it would be a waste of time but that she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. She seemed taken aback by the whole thing. Like this was the first positive reaction she had with anyone other than her mother. Living life like that, trapped in those woods, it must be horrible.
The others went to looking for Duncan, while I went to the infirmary to see the soldier Alistair had saved. I wanted to know if he had any idea of what had happened to my brother. He was half mad, delirious according to the nurse who aided him. He lurched up on the bed and ranted about this size of the army. He then shouted that we needed to run. That the King and the Grey Wardens would all die and the darkspawn would crawl along the land like caterpillars, taint it and turn it black. Then, as the nurse tried to wrestle him into calm, he collapsed back onto the bed, sobbing and asking for his mother. I remember some of those cries. From both our men and the Howe's. I want my mother too. I want my brother too. I still have no idea if Fergus is back from his mission, if he's alive, dead, or trapped alone in that forest. Tired, cold, afraid.
The reminder proved to much and I ran out of their. By then the others had found Duncan. The Circle mages were already preparing for the joining. And I finally managed to get a straight answer about him about the Joining. He said that we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price for what we become. And, when he said this with a sad sort of determination, as if fate had decided that it was the way things would be, that some of us might pay that price sooner rather than latter. I got that feeling again.
I write this from an Ancient Temple to a corrupted god, where we await the joining. Alistair is off in a corner biting his nails and looking nervous. For some reason I think of the way Fergus acted when Oren was born, pacing around, nervous, and angry about his inability to do anything. Except their is none of the excitement. None of the joy, for obvious reasons. And he seems to act as if he knows something terrible will happen. I still have no idea if Fergus is back from his mission, if he's alive, dead, or trapped alone in that forest. Tired, cold, afraid.
I sit alone in another corner and write this. Honestly it just helps keep my mind from thinking of the worse. Jory is in a state of barley contained panic, and complains that Duncan never told him about this ritual, and moans about how he wouldn't have joined if they had told him about the ritual. And Daveth. He's been the one to take it on the chin and not burden any of us with his problems. Indeed he actively seeks to calm down Jory, claiming that the secrecy is justified, and pointing out that the Grey Wardens have protected the world from the Blight before, and know what it takes. I'm sure he's terrified. I am scared too. But I don't let my fear show. What good would that do? Jory's conduct has been unbecoming of a Warden. We may not have known about this ritual, but we all knew their were risks, and he was the one who rant to the colors, whereas myself and Daveth were conscripted. It is no crime to be afraid. But it is to let it show. Doing that only spreads the panic to the rest of us, and that's something we can ill afford.
Well maybe Duncan can whip him into shape. I see Daveth in a whole new light. And even Jory has his more redeemable moments. If we all survive this me Alistair,Jory and Daveth will make a team. If we survive this. I can see Duncan coming in with a Chalice.
If I don't survive this, to whomever finds this journal, I assume it will be Alistair, burn it. I do not want to burden any next of kin with my doubts and ill thoughts. Let them believe what they want about how I lived my life and met my end. And tell Fergus and Griffon that I love them. And that I am so sorry.