Jory and Daveth are dead. Two more friends I've lost. As it turned out the "Joining" means we drink the blood of the darkspawn. It grants us the ability to track the Darkspawn, or rather their blood, it makes us immune to the taint and gives us the ability to slay the Archdemon
"Join us Brothers and Sisters. Join us in the Shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us in the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day we shall join you." Those were the words Alistair said, solemnly, his head bowed, in the Dark gloom, in a ruined temple to a tainted god.
I remember it so well. And yet it almost feels like a bad dream.
Duncan bade Daveth to step forward. He did so, putting on a brave face. My memory might be doing me false, but I think I remember him winking. Duncan handed him the cup and he drank. Duncan stepped back. For an instant he just hunched over a bit. I thought he would be alright. Then he bent over clutching his head and let out a sheik of pain. He jerked his head up at Duncan. I suppose he was looking for the Commander of the Grey to save his life once again. But he couldn't do anything. His legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground clutching his throat. Daveth was dead inside of a minute. All I heard Duncan say, in a quiet, laden voice was "I am sorry Daveth." Normally I would say the Maker wasted a good man. Except I don't think their was any of the Maker's light in that concoction.
Jory was reaching for his sword before Daveth had even stopped convulsing. "Step Forward Jory". Duncan said in the same low voice. Jory already had his sword drawn. He pleaded in a fast panicked tone that he had a wife and a child. He would have said that had he known this he would not have joined up, but Duncan simply reminded him, in that same low voice, that their was no turning back. I just stood their not knowing what to do, I looked to Alistair, who had his blade drawn, but was watching the scene just as astounded as I was. Then I looked to Jory, our poor foolish comrade, retreating towards the wall. Duncan advanced on him, armed only with the Chalice, but with the look of a Mabari honing in on a threat.
"No you ask to much their is no glory in this", he stammered. Then Duncan drew his blade and charged. Jory died with his sword in his had facing his enemy. If anyone asks me what happened to him that's all I'm going to say. I thought I heard Duncan whisper "I am sorry"
But the joining was not yet done. As Jory's corpse lay bleeding on the cold dead stone, I stepped forward. Duncan said "you are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good." My heart pounded in my chest. Duncan's words replayed in my head Their is no going back. He handed me the cup. I marshaled all my courage and drank. Honestly, I forgot what it tasted like. I forgot most of what happened next.
Duncan said something and then I felt a deep pulsing hum in my head. Then my sight left me and I felt my legs giving way.
I dreamed. Or had visions. Whatever they were, all I can remember was the Dragon ,the Archdemon I think. It reeked of corruption and death. I remember the Dragon's great looming wings, and jagged fangs that bore down on me. It's roar was a thing that could shake the earth. I felt like I was small again, wanting to run to Nan and beg her to make it go away. But she is dead, and so are Mother and Father. And I have learned that their is no hiding from monsters.
Alistair and Duncan were there when I woke. Seeing them was a relief, especially Alistair. Somehow just seeing their reassuring faces, knowing they had been though what I had been through, was a great comfort. I don't blame him for Jory's death. Our dear Knight was dead as soon as he drew his blade against his commanding officer. They gave me a pendant containing just a trace of the blood. To remind us Wardens of the eternal vigil we maintain against the Darkspawn horde. And of those who did not make it. Alistair has one too, as does Duncan. Alistair and I talked for a bit, mostly about his joining, he lost a friend their too, and about what had happened. We agreed to go with my story about what had happened to Jory. Our poor cowardly friend deserved that much. But who will mourn Daveth? He never told us about any family or friends he had in Denerum. Alistiar suggested that burden would have to fall on us. Poor Daveth deserved much more. He could have been a great Warden. Now people will only remember him as a gutter rat from the slums, if they remember him at all. I suppose I have to stop thinking about these things for a while, we have a battle to fight.
Duncan wants me to attend a council with the King. I believe he suspects my noble blood will lend him credibility amongst the Ferelden nobility. It won't do much, if anything they would be more upset about him taking Highover's heir out of the line of succession, or depending on how good their claims are, secretly thrilled. But it doesn't really matter what they think. The nobles serve the King, and the King worships the ground Duncan walks on. Even Logain will have to bite his tongue.
The Council meeting was contentious. Logain wasn't keen on letting the King fight on the Front Lines, and he was even less keen on waiting for the Orlesians. He seems to believe they intend to conquer us again. I can't say I disagree with him, given what happened in Nevara. Still, no one nation, even with Grey Warden help, has ever repulsed a Blight. I can't help but think we are making a grave error in not waiting for reinforcements. But I am a young girl and know little of the ways of war.
The plan is to split our forces. Cailin and half the army will position themselves right outside the fortress, within range of archers perched on the walls. Meanwhile Logain's contingent will be posted on a forested hill at our flank, hopefully unseen by the Darkspawn. The King will trick the Darkspawn to charging our lines, then, once they are engaged, a beacon shall be lit from the Tower of Ishal, and Logain's forces will charge and take them from the rear. The King has decided to assign me and Alistair to light the beacon, never mind Logain already has troops stationed their. I confess I felt a great relief at not having to face the Darkspawn again, at least if all goes according to plan. These last few days have been one brush with death after another.
And I confess I have no desire to repeat the experience. Of course my assignment probably has more to do with a desire to safeguard the heir to Highpoint than anything else. Presumably Alistair is included in this to make the King's intentions less obvious. If I die that leaves only one heir of Bryce Cousland alive, and if Fergus dies then our line is ended. I will not give Arl Howe that satisfaction.
Duncan told them to consider the possibility of the Archdemon showing itself. Maker I hope not. Does he know something he's not telling me? I've earned my place. When will all those secrets stop? Logain said their had been no sightings, while the King asked if that was not the reason the Wardens were here. Duncan seemed abashed.
Some Mage interjected, saying that the tower was unnecessary. He started to say something about the Circle of Magi but the Grand Cleric shut him down, declining to trust any lives to the spells of mages. Of course that would be a rather odd thing to tell our wounded receiving healing magic. But when has zealotry ever bowed to logic or facts. Logain rejected the plan out of hand, saying what we have suffices. He's probably right, it would be extraordinarily difficult to change battle plans so quickly. Unless he has something truly extraordinary, a devastating spell perhaps? We should have at least heard him out.
The King is possessed by vapid dreams of glory, the Hero of the River Dayne is to focused on old enemies, and not the threat in front of us, and the Chantry and Mages are at each other's throats. Even Duncan can't convince them all to get along. Woe is Ferelden. Woe is Thedas.
Nevertheless I am a Grey Warden, I must do my duty no matter what. I think of Alistair and Duncan. Whatever happens I am no longer alone. See you on the other side.