Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Harry Potter.
A massive thank you to my readers and reviewers.
Dear Bellatrix,
Are you Voldemort's girlfriend?.
I'm very bored right now and I thought to myself you can either write to Bellatrix Lestrange or do your homework an I chose to write to you because it is was the fun option.
I used to enjoy homework then she who looks like a toad came to Hogwarts and ruined the place.
Sirius told me to tell you that he escaped Azkaban on his own and you had help so he's better than you.
My friend Neville really hates you not that I blame him because what you did his parents was horrible.
Professor Snape is really mean, I asked him to read to my cat but he refused. Which I find really insulting as I took the time to break into his quarters and shave his eyes brows while he slept.
You know who else is mean? Lucius Malfoy. He is always saying how he doesn't care about the things going on in my life.
Hermione Granger.
Dear Granger,
Even though you are a filthy little Mudblood I hate both Snape and Malfoy. Why my sister had to breed with a Malfoy and then make Snape the godfather is a mystery.
My relationship with the Dark Lord is none of your business. Tell my cousin, I plan to kill him very soon, then childishly gloat about it.
The Dark Lord tells me you're insane, I like insane people. I hate you because you're a filthy little Mudblood but I like you because you're insane.
Bellatrix Lestrange.
Dear Bellatrix,
I told Sirius and he laughed about your threat.
Sirius would like to know if you are still as crazy as you were before you went to Azkaban.
I got into a fight with a red sock today because it was looking at me funny.
My friend Harry is hiding again and my friend Ron won't help set fire to things.
Hermione Granger.
Dear Granger,
Tell Sirius I was not insane before I went to Azkaban and I am not insane now.
I once got into a fight with a chair well, technically I got into with Lucius, who sitting in the chair before moving the little coward and I thought I might as well the chair instead.
Ron is one of the many Weasleys beats isn't he?. Make him help you set fire to things.
Bellatrix Lestrange
P.S I plan to kill you all very slowly and very painfully.
Dear Bellatrix,
I know you don't really mean it when you threaten to kill us all. Yes, Ron is a Weasley and I took your advice and threatened Ron into helping me and it worked.
Hermione Granger.
Dear Lucius Malfoy,
Beware of Nargles, and pass the warning on.
Luna Lovegood.
Dear Voldemort,
Beware of Nargles, and pass the message on.
Luna Lovegood.
Dear Bellatrix,
Hermione told me that you're the one who told her to threaten me. Hermione is bad enough on her own without you giving her ideas.
I'm just lucky that Harry is hiding and wasn't there to egg her on.
Ron Weasley.