Dear Snapey Pooh,
Beware the Smurfs! They have more power than Jedis and Hobbits. In other news, I won't be in class today as I'm sad about chickens.
Tell my wife I love her. Wait a minute I don't have a wife.
Anyway, you can't prove I did anything to your pillow.
Harry- Do Dragons Dream?- Potter
Potter,
I don't dare if you come to class or not. The sooner Dumbledore forces you to seek help the better.
What did you do to my pillow?
Professor Snape
Dear What Did You Do To My Pillow?
Nothing... Nothing you can prove.
Did you know fire is hot? I sure didn't until five minutes ago.
Also Umbridge office is on fire. Draco Malfoy totally started that fire and if he says otherwise he's lying.
Harry – I need to pee – Potter
Dear Lord Voldemort,
Please thank Bellatrix for punching Wormtail. I like bananas but apricots are mean. Lucius Malfoy said you were ugly.
His son set fire to Umbridge office. I have photographic evidence of the whole thing.
Dumbledore won't let me challenge ghosts to a duel anymore. The beardy man is unfair, only eight people were injured like it could have been way worse.
Sincerely, Hermione Granger
Miss Granger,
That is clearly Potter in a wig with a sign saying "I'm Draco Malfoy". Bellatrix says you're welcome and that Plan Alpha Dragon Nargles is coming along nicely. I would ask what you're all planning but I really don't care.
Dumbledore never let's anyone do anything. All I wanted to do was rule the wizarding world but he's like no you can't.
Lord Voldemort.