I know it's a bit hard to imagine Lucius and Narcissa in their younger years… what I did with this was I imagined Lucius to be Alex Pettyfer (because it's been said that he was quite the ladies' man back in Hogwarts) and Narcissa to be Taissa Farmiga (because a) she's younger than Alex, b)she looks aristocratic but in an isolated way you know what I'm sayin?, and c) just imagine her with black hair okay) so I hope it'll be easier for everyone to recreate the scenarios in their head! Have fun reading, and please don't forget to leave a review if you can!
Narcissa Black
"Are you ready to leave, Miss Narcissa?" The slave elf nervously asked as it barely carried her numerous and, without a doubt, extremely loaded, luggages. It was the start of the school year for Hogwarts once again, and it was already Narcissa's sixth year.
"I will be if you quit pestering me, you insolent elf." She snapped as she took a last look at her massive bedroom. She decided that she's going to miss her gigantic sleeping quarters—she cursed at how she can't be transported to and from Hogwarts on a daily basis. What a tragedy it will be to once again live in those awful dungeons.
She took one last look at her room before exiting it with her head held high and body gracefully straight.
She is Narcissa Black, a pureblood in every sense of the word, with her black-as-night hair, porcelain white skin, disarming grey eyes, and overwhelming distaste against those with blood less purer than hers.
It's unfortunate she can't have that request, but the fact that she can have everything else has slightly comforted her.
Well, except for one more thing.
She prayed to Merlin that she could break off her engagement with Lucius Malfoy. But that's nonnegotiable, unfortunately.
And a stupid thing to wish for, honestly.
She slowly walked down the grand staircase as she watched her sisters lounge around, waiting for her. "Look who finally showed up," Bellatrix lazily said as she stood up from the couch facing the enormous fireplace.
"Excellence can't be rushed," Narcissa replied coldly as she descended down the staircase. The Black Manor was something else indeed—dark green was accentuated everywhere, and grand pieces of furniture were used. Nothing short of excellence, as anyone would describe anything that the Blacks owned. The Blacks even rivalled the house Malfoy in terms of extravagance.
"Then you must be beyond excellent, my dear Cissy, because I've finished preparing long before you did." Bellatrix raised an eyebrow as Narcissa reached their level. She highly doubted that, since Bellatrix barely even brushes her hair.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Bella, not even Rodolphus would call you perfect."
"Why you little—"
"Sisters, please stop bickering. Let's just leave already, yes?" An exhausted sigh left Andromeda's lips as she watched her two sisters argue once again about the most trivial things.
Narcissa raised an eyebrow against her older sister. "You're excited for school?"
"Hogwarts is bollocks. The only fun thing worth doing there is making fun of those worthless mudbloods!" Bellatrix laughed hysterically.
"Don't get carried away, Bella." Narcissa rolled her eyes.
"When did she ever not?" Andromeda mumbled sarcastically.
Bellatrix suddenly faced her. "What did you say, you coward, mudblood-loving bitch?"
Andromeda flinched but kept her stand. "You always get carried away when you hurt muggle-borns even though they haven't—"
"What are you three still doing here? If you don't leave soon, you'll miss the train." Druella, the mother of the three sisters, appeared from the balcony of their second floor. "Be good now, and don't cause too much trouble. I'm looking at you, Bellatrix."
Bellatrix went a sudden transformation from her usual lunatic self to a very polite and obedient daughter. "Why, I wouldn't even dare!" She smiled sweetly as she looked up to her mother.
Andromeda rolled her eyes while Narcissa remained stoic.
"What a jolly year this will be, I bet." Narcissa sighed unintentionally.
Andromeda gently nudged her shoulder against her sister's. "Hey, at least you'll have Lucius with you."
Narcissa glared at her icily. "That really doesn't bring me any comfort at all."
Bellatrix sneered at her. "Just stop rejecting Lucius already, Cissy."
Narcissa briefly closed her eyes and had a flashback of memories between her and Lucius that made her want to kill herself.
She opened her eyes and glared at her idiotic sister. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
—
"Cissa, oh how I've missed you! How was Italy?" Narcissa received a bone-crushing hug from Bertha as they entered their compartment in the train. Bertha Jorkins was a perky sixth year brunette who looked pretty decent, Narcissa supposed, but had the brains of the daftest witch she's ever met. She's a Slytherin, though, and not to mention Bellatrix's closest friend, so Narcissa doesn't really care having her in the compartment with them.
Narcissa sat at the seat nearest to the window and stared at the noisy sixth year. "It was boring. There was a lot of water."
Bellatrix rolled her eyes as she entered after Bertha, with Andromeda behind her. "Cissy never has fun during our family vacations."
"Bella!" Bertha lividly screamed as the two best mates hugged each other fiercely. It's rather hilarious, really, how they so openly refer to each other as best friends when they frequently stab each other in the back. Or maybe that's how close friends act towards one another. Narcissa didn't really have a clue.
Having close friends is a ridiculous notion for Narcissa, and she deemed most of the students in Hogwarts unworthy of her time anyway.
"Are they always like this?" Andromeda whispered as she gingerly sat beside her.
Narcissa looked at her older sister with dry amusement. "You act as if you've never seen them like this before."
"I usually leave this compartment before they meet, but I guess couldn't leave fast enough this time, huh?" She looked apologetic.
Narcissa's lip slightly rose up before returning to its usual seriousness. "You join your mudblood friends, yes?"
Andromeda slightly slumped her shoulders then looked at the spectacular view of lush forests as the train zooms past them. "I hate their crowd, and you know it's wrong how they treat them." She whispered with a slight tremor in her voice, but Andromeda sounded sure of what she said.
Narcissa stared at her sister. She's always known Andromeda was a kind person, an unusual trait for the Blacks, but isn't she going a bit too far with this one? She's acting like their disgraced cousin, Sirius, who's also currently attending Hogwarts now. Sirius is the only Black to have ever diverged from the Slytherin tradition, as everyone knows. He was sorted to Gryffindor, and that's that last thing Narcissa heard about him.
Narcissa didn't care much for mudbloods, but she fiercely cared for Sirius, for he was one of her very few real friends when she was a kid. To pretend that she loathes him was harder than she thought it would be.
Narcissa shook her head at her. "Stop talking nonsense, Andromeda."
"I know you agree—" At that moment, Lucius Malfoy, Rodophus Lestrange, and Severus Snape entered the compartment, with a bunch of Slytherin girls following behind them.
Andromeda stopped talking and sent a worried look towards Narcissa. Even Bellatrix and Bertha calmed themselves to cast pensive glances towards her.
The whole compartment has gone silent. It's always like this whenever Lucius and Narcissa find themselves amongst each other's company. Really, everyone needs to stop overreacting. They don't know what happens when Lucius and Narcissa are left alone, but sometimes Narcissa would slip up and her wrist would be exposed from her robes, and they would have a horrible guess—a guess they hope was farthest from the truth. And so they await in silence, wondering if something interesting will happen between Hogwarts' most famous couple.
Narcissa felt a familiar sting cut through her chest. Just seeing his figure hurts her—this isn't how engaged couples are supposed to feel, and yet Narcissa has felt like this ever since they became engaged. She's constantly hurting not because of Lucius' numerous acts of infidelity, she could care less about that, but because of this almost obsessive possessive streak Lucius has inflicted upon her. She's not allowed to talk to any male wizard that isn't him or in their circle of friends. There are many more stupid rules like that. If she does break any of the rules set for her, he punishes her. Most would immediately say yes if the Lucius Malfoy would even consider sleeping with them, but not Narcissa. She takes extreme care of her body, and intimate acts are very personal for her, so she naturally she doesn't want to sleep with Lucius, no matter how attractive or popular or rich or pure his blood his.
But it wasn't always like this. Lucius wasn't always this horrid to Narcissa—there was a time the two would agree on almost everything…
"Narcissa, love." Lucius regarded her with a careful eye, casually sending away his female followers with a flick of his wrist. Narcissa blinked at him a few times before intentionally regarding the person behind him.
"Severus, how are you?" Narcissa spoke clearly. Once again, the compartment has gone silent. She had obviously ignored the Slytherin Prince's greeting, and everyone feared for themselves at that moment. Lucius' wrath is a thing to behold, and Narcissa knew she probably shouldn't have done that, but there's nothing she loves more than embarrassing Lucius in public.
Severus shuffled inside the place and smiled at her. "Hello, Narcissa. I'm doing well. How was summer break? I heard you went to Italy."
Severus is sort of Lucius' mentee, which makes him clearly part of their inner circle of friends, so she's allowed to talk to him, at least. Really, if Narcissa thought about it, Severus is her only friend in this compartment. Or in their circle of friends. Or in life at the moment, if she's being completely honest. It helps that they're the only two sixth years in there, but it's mostly pleasant to get to converse with someone not trying to compete with your level of stature in society.
Narcissa leaned back and offered him a genuine smile. "Yes, we did visit Italy. Won't you sit down with us, Severus?"
Severus looked at Lucius, seemingly waiting for his approval, but Lucius was just smiling and staring at Narcissa. With one look at Andromeda, she immediately scooted over so that he could sit beside his fianceè.
Narcissa tensed but otherwise went back to her stoic facade. Severus went and sat across from her, as Bellatrix and Bertha finally sat beside him.
"And no hug for me, Bella?" Rodolphus made what he believes to be a charming smile. Bellatrix loudly squealed and lunged for him.
Lucius casually put an arm over her shoulder as if they were a couple like any other. "My lovely fianceè. How have you been?" His voice sounded charming and sweet, surely to woe the other women in the compartment, of course—except Narcissa. He knew that she hated how he would pretend to be a sweet and loving fiancé when he is the exact opposite of that.
But Narcissa was, if not, a extremely proud person. She would never let anyone see her pride or dignity be put down, not even Lucius.
She turned to face him, and was greeted with a sudden kiss. Narcissa closed her eyes and numbed herself in order to ignore the stubborn throb in her chest. She hates him, she really does.
Their lips parted as they stared at each other, icy blue eyes meeting startlingly grey ones. "Really, it never fails to brighten up my day whenever I kiss you. It makes up for all the other girls I've kissed earlier who were doing a horrid job at it." He said this without breaking their stare, and Narcissa could only smile.
"Anything for my charming fiancé." She said it with such coldness that she knew she was going to get it later. Screw it, Narcissa bitterly thought.
Lucius' eyes slitted for a second before he went back into character. He faced the other people in the compartment with a bewitching smile, Narcissa would assume. "Bellatrix, Andromeda—since I cannot trust my dear fiancee to entail an engaging story about your trip to Italy, I'm sure one of you could divulge this information?"
Andromeda squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. "It wasn't really—"
"We had loads of fun!" Bellatrix giggled, ignoring Andromeda.
Andromeda sighed then stood up. "I'm going to go… buy chocolate frogs," she finished lamely.
"We all know where you're really going, you mudblood-lover!" Bellatrix laughed hysterically as Bertha joined her in making fun of Andromeda.
Narcissa caught Andromeda's eye. She bleakly smiled at her Narcissa, then left the compartment, silence once again filling the room.
"Finally," Bellatrix leaned back in her chair, as if it was all Andromeda's fault that she's been feeling tense this whole time. "My traitor sister finally left us."
Narcissa observed Bellatrix as she spat horrible and untruthful things about Andromeda. Not so long ago, the three of them got along quite fine, like any other typical sisterhood, she would assume. But once Andromeda showed sympathy against the elves and mudbloods that Bellatrix would constantly torture and make fun of, that's when everything changed. Even Narcissa couldn't do anything when Bellatrix unleashed her anger on their sister.
Don't get her wrong—Narcissa wanted to do something, but she wouldn't really have done anything. Why would she side with the wrong sister, after all? She doesn't even understand how Andromeda could possibly side amongst… them. Just the thought of it gave way to goosebumps on her arms.
"Something wrong, love?" Lucius whispered to her ear as he gently stroked her now goose-riddled arms. Strange how his whisper reminds her of a snake hissing at its victim, ready to swallow her whole.
Narcissa extracted her arm away from his grasp. She faced him then cradled his cheek with her right hand. "I'm going to walk around for a little while. Is that alright with you, love?"
Narcissa internally cringed at the term of endearment after she said it. She didn't mean to call him that, but it was a force of habit, she supposed.
Lucius' face softened as he met her eyes. He always liked it whenever Narcissa would cozy up to him—almost like they really held affection for each other. Even if it was for just a moment.
"Go ahead, love. Take your time."
Narcissa stood up and left the compartment, eager to ease herself from Lucius' tight clutches. She noted that a number of students quickly moved out of her way when they saw her, surely because they thought they don't deserve to walk the same pathway as her.
Narcissa's head tilted upwards just a bit more.
As she made her way to an aimless journey towards the end of the train, she spotted a few familiar faces—Evan Rosier, the Weasleys, and, wait a second, was that Andromeda—
"Cissa!"
Sirius Black appeared in front of her face, in all his handsome glory. If Lucius is all fair hair and icy blue eyes, Sirius is known for his stark black hair and brooding blue eyes. Narcissa's parents even considered to arrange a marriage between her and Sirius. Thankfully, they didn't pursue that course.
It was hard trying to keep in touch with Sirius in the past few years, though. Ever since he spoke of his sentiments towards the muggleborns, his family, and by extension, Narcissa's family, avoided discussing him at all costs—much like what they are now doing with her sister, Andromeda.
But she and Sirius have always been close. Some would think that they were too close—but of course, it was all very platonic. There might have been a time when things started to go to the other direction, but eventually, things didn't.
So here they were. Narcissa allowed herself to smile a little, let herself loose a bit. "Sirius. You surprised me!"
Sirius charmingly smiled at his cousin. "I can't help it. You looked like you were spacing out."
She remembered her thoughts before bumping into him and her mood instantly started to darken again. "You know we shouldn't be seen talking to each other, cousin," she said with a formal tone.
Sirius quickly grabbed her wrist and led her inside a compartment room. "Sirius, what in the world—"
"Blokes, my cousin, Cissa, will stay here for a while. You don't mind?"
Narcissa looked around the room and spotted a few familiar faces. There was that Potter lad, who started frowning at him. She can't seem to ever remember his first name. Was it John? Jonathan?
"Ah, the Slytherin princess has graced our compartment, has she?" Remus snickered, along with the lad beside him.
Sirius gave him a hard glance which immediately shut him up.
"Sirius, please, there's no need for this." Narcissa said, but truthfully she felt thankful that he took her away from all the prying eyes of the other Hogwarts students.
"I want to help you, Cissa, even if it's just like this," He said bitterly. Ever since Sirius drifted away from his family, Narcissa's parents forbade her from seeing him ever again, so they haven't hung out or simply talked like this for almost seven years now.
If they weren't around his friends, she would have hugged him. "If it's only for a few minutes, then I suppose Lucius won't miss me that soon." She gave him a small smile.
Sirius grinned his wolfish smile. "That's the spirit! Now, on to the introductions—I'm assuming you don't know any of them?"
She looked at the three faces staring back at her. "You're that Potter person, correct?" she pointed at the lad who was wearing glasses.
"Indeed, I am. My name's James Potter, and I believe we should have met before, in balls and such, but we didn't, because Lucius likes to keep you all to himself, doesn't he?" He smirked.
Sirius smacked his head. "Shut up, you idiot."
The one beside him stood up and reached for Narcissa's hand, eagerly shaking it, then kissing the back of her hand.
Narcissa quickly retreated her hand. "I'm Peter Pettigrew, and I think it is such an honour to meet the Ice princess. Shall I call her your highness?" He gave his friends a look of pure confusion, which caused them all to laugh, but Narcissa remained stoic.
The man nearest to the window gave her a mock salute. "I'm Remus Lupin. I believe that I am the recipient of all those talks with Sirius where he implicitly told me how much he's missed you."
Narcissa raised an eyebrow towards her cousin, but he just gave her a mischievous grin. "Oh, c'mon, I know you missed me too, even if you're positively frowning right now."
She shook her head in amusement. Was she that predictable now?
Sirius grabbed her wrist and pushed the sleeves up a sliver. Yellowing bruises coloured her pale skin, and she hastened to put the sleeves back in place to cover her wrists.
"I think—I think I should get back to my compartment." She gingerly removed herself from Sirius' grip, and softly smiled at him. She knew that he was worried at how Lucius was treating her, has been treating her for the past few years, but there's nothing he could do about it either way, anyway.
It was rare for Narcissa to smile, let alone give a soft smile, but it seems that no matter what she thinks of Sirius, she can't make herself hate him, because they used to be very close up until a few months ago
"Are you sure? You don't have to go back in there if you don't want to." Sirius said as he stared intensely into her eyes.
Narcissa patted his hand affectionately. "I'll be fine. Honestly."
"Well… if you say so," He said, with unease clear in his voice.
She frowned at him. "Will you stop worrying about me?" She stood up and abruptly left their compartment, causing her to bump hard into someone.
"Ow—watch where you're going!" Narcissa gingerly touched her head. "Look what you've done to my face! It's going to bruise."
She glared at the idiot who bumped her. There was something awfully familiar about his caramel brown hair. "I'm really sorry about that—Narcissa?"
Narcissa looked at the boy in front of her.
It can't be… can it?
"… Otto?" Narcissa was dumbfounded.
It couldn't be him.
He smiled crookedly, which made her remember all her memories with him. She cherished those times, and those were one of the very few things she wouldn't allow Lucius to hold against her. But that was then. Things are different now. He shouldn't even be here. What was he doing here?
"What… what are you doing here?" She asked, clearly still shocked.
Otto ran a hand through his hair and Narcissa's heart skipped a beat. "Bagman Sr. thought Hogwarts was better than Durmstrang after all, I suppose."
Before Narcissa's mind was filled with Lucius, and only Lucius… there was Otto Bagman. But that was before he left, before she made decisions, before… everything happened.
Narcissa smoothed down her robe with her slightly shaking hands. "Oh, well, he's right, of course." How and when did this happen? How could his reappearance have been so silent? Surely someone as wildly popular as Otto would have had a tremendous welcome back banner or she would have heard the excited whispers of his annoying admirers. None of her Ravenclaw friends even thought to warn her! Well, when she thought about it, Otto was her only friend from Ravenclaw, so she supposed no one would have told her that news anyway.
Oh, this is honestly ridiculous of me, Narcissa thought.
"I have to go back to my compartment now, Lucius might be looking for me." She cringed at the mention of his name.
He saw her cringe but wisely chose to ignore it. "Is he your betrothed?" He asked quietly, as if he was afraid that others could hear them.
Narcissa's heart immediately went cold. "Yes. It was always going to be him." She said carefully.
Otto looked at her then, his glowing hazelnut eyes against her piercing grey ones. They only shared a look, but it held so much more—their eyes spoke of what their lips could not; about broken promises, childhood dreams, secret memories…
Narcissa sighed, breaking the spell. "It was nice seeing you again, Otto. It's been… too long."
He tilted his head, as if willing her to say more, but she will not.
"The pleasure will always be mine." He smiled, then, a dimple appearing on his left cheek.
Narcissa bumped into him as she hurriedly got away from his presence. She missed him so much,but things aren't the same as they were before, and they obviously aren't the same people as they were when they were kids.
But, merlin, she missed him quite terribly. To see him today, out of all days, made up for months and months of bleakness Narcissa experienced during the summer. Possibly even more.
Narcissa opened the compartment back to her friends with an unconscious smile on her face. She was happy—for the first time in a long time, she truly felt happy, and it was all because she saw Otto again.
Lucius looked at her curiously as she went to sit beside him. "Did something good happen to you?"
She inhaled, then exhaled, deeply, to keep her emotions in check. She sat back down beside Lucius then looked at everyone in the compartment—Bertha, Bella, Severus, and then, finally, Lucius, effectively capturing everyone's attention.
"Otto Bagman is back—I thought you would all hear it from me first than from anyone else." She was proud of herself, because she sounded so nonchalant. Narcissa could have fooled herself.
Lucius grabbed her hand under the table, giving him her attention. "Is that so?" He smiled charmingly, but she knew, more than anyone, what that smile meant. It meant that they were going to talk about this again later, and he wouldn't be nearly as polite as he is now.
Narcissa was afraid he could see the slight panic in her eyes. It terrified her that Lucius knew her, sometimes more than she knew herself. Maybe she fooled everyone else in the compartment, but not Lucius.
"Lucius, please." She quietly replied. She didn't know what she was pleading for, but she knew they understood what each other meant.
Unaware amongst the couple, everyone else was silent in the compartment, quietly witnessing the strange interaction between the two. Even Bella was curiously watching their exchange.
Lucius leaned in to whisper into her ear. "Is that why you were smiling when you got back here, love? Did you enjoy talking to him? I bet you did, didn't you?"
Narcissa's heart was beating quickly again. "Do not leave my side ever again today, do you understand?" He whispered once more, before leaning away from me and smiling in the most charming way that could have fooled anyone, everyone, but not her.
Narcissa didn't reply. She just leaned in and softly kissed his lips. Still ever so soft, so familiar, almost like her own. She still remembered the first time she kissed Lucius, and numerous, numerous times after that, but one thing he didn't know was that he wasn't her first kiss.
She remembered it all like it just happened a few hours ago.
4 Years Ago
"Isn't this weird?" Thirteen year-old Narcissa whispered to Otto, as they lay down facing together on a mat under the clear, blue sky. The weather that day was surprisingly fair, given that the Bagman residence was in London. Otto and Narcissa hadn't planned on playing out in the sun, but given the surprise weather, they simply took advantage of it and had a little picnic in his backyard.
The Bagmans, a family of purebloods, were extremely rich. Because of that, the Blacks liked their presence and even let their daughter, Narcissa, have playdates with the other family's eldest and only son, sole heir to their entire family fortune, Otto William Bagman. Those things didn't matter to the kids, though. Narcissa already knew Lucius Malfoy by then, and although there have been talks of the two getting engaged soon, nothing was finalised yet, so she didn't feel tied by down by him or by any obligation. Besides, she had Otto. Otto was enough for her.
No one else, apart from her family, knew of her budding relationship with Otto. Narcissa shuddered at the thought of Lucius finding out about them—even then, Lucius was already possessive of Narcissa.
"Hmm?" Otto sleepily replied, opening an eye to look at her. It always never failed to shock her how startlingly hazelnut his eyes were. It was the most beautiful color; like a mix between caramel, honey and maybe even gold. She could drink in his eyes until the end of time.
Narcissa closed her eyes. "I feel so… much, whenever I'm with you. Does that make sense? What about you?"
Otto opened both his eyes and stared at Narcissa. She blushed from the intensity of his stare. They were only a bunch of fourteen year-old kids, barely even a wizard and a witch. And yet, the bond the two of them have was so strong. Sometimes it was so strong that she couldn't sleep at night because she felt like part of her heart was tugged too far away from her.
He gently caressed her cheek. "Can I kiss you?"
Her heart started beating tremendously fast. She couldn't reply.
He inched closer, so close that now their foreheads were touching and their lips were less than an inch apart.
"I've never felt more alive," He whispered to her lips, before taking them in his own.
Narcissa leaned away from Lucius, ending the kiss.
"It will always be you, my dear Lucius." She whispered to him, almost sadly.
He gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "I know, love. I know."
The two slowly disentangled from each other, only to notice the watchful eyes of their friends. It didn't faze either of them, though. When your relationship with someone has been on display every since it had started, you eventually get used to it.
Lucius took her hand, gently now, and started rubbing his thumb on the back of it. "Severus, you remember Otto, don't you? Why don't you tell him to drop by our compartment, come say hi to some of his old friends?"
Bertha did a small squeal. "Oh yes, I remember Otto Bagman! I fancied him so much back then," she sighed, as if it was such a shame that she didn't fancy him anymore.
"Oh? Then maybe you should rekindle that old flame then, Bertha," Lucius joked, but his eyes were on Narcissa.
She looked outside the window and willed time to stop.
He's only doing this to get to you, Narcissa. Don't let him get the satisfaction of seeing you crumble. You are Narcissa Black.
Severus hesitantly stepped out of his seat, his eyes warily on Narcissa. It was as if he can sense that there's more to Lucius' request than a simple friendly gesture. "I'll get him—and yes, I do remember him," He said, unsure clearly echoed from his voice.
Narcissa turned to him with a blank look in her eyes. "How could you have possibly met him before, Severus? You two were living worlds apart." Compassion was nowhere to be found in her voice; she has decided to store all her emotions a way in a box, careful not to go anywhere near it for now.
Severus blushed slightly at her remark about his family's financial status. "I never said I met him before, I was simply saying that I remember him—he was quite popular, if you all remember correctly." He looked at everywhere but us, stood awkwardly for a couple of seconds, before leaving the compartment, presumably to fetch Otto Bagman.
Bella leaned into the table. "Well, aren't you the least bit excited to see Otto again, Cissy?" She grinned, much like a Cheshire cat. Bella usually reminds her of a Cheshire cat, smiling or not, with her impulsive decisions and highly fluctuating moods.
Narcissa looked back at her with a stoic face. "What's there to be excited about? He hasn't been gone that long." And it was the truth—Otto left only two years ago.
The month after he left, she and Lucius got engaged.
It's not that the Bagmans moved residences or anything like that, but Otto transferred schools, from Hogwarts to Durmstrang. His Father, the pureblood of Otto's parents, wanted Otto to go there, for reasons Narcissa was still unaware of.
Bella sighed, twisting a lock of her hair. "That's true, I suppose," she then turned to Lucius. "Did you know Cissy and Otto were very close back then?"
Lucius raised an eyebrow at that. "Yes, extremely even. I mean, it was such a shame for him to leave for Durmstrang, right, Cissy?" She finished, turning to Narcissa once again.
She knew Bella meant no harm when she said all of that, but still, Narcissa's blood went cold. She had to be very careful with her interactions with Otto from now on, if there will be any. If Lucius will even permit her.
"Yes, well, father rarely let me have friends, and he was one of the very few he allowed me to play with." She swallowed.
She could see his jaw moving, tense, as if he was grinding his teeth together. "Lucius." Narcissa tried to grab his attention.
Lucius looked at her then, and there was a spark in his eyes, and this made Narcissa very frightened of him at that very moment. It didn't matter that Bertha and Bella were in the same room as them; she knew she wasn't safe.
His hand went to the back of her head and started to stroke her black locks. "Tell me, love," He murmured so that only she could hear what was about to say, his eyes still locked on hers. "Have you always been truthful with me?"
2 Years Ago
"Don't be afraid, Cissa. I won't hurt you."
She looked at his blue eyes. She's stared so much into them that she sometimes mistakes those eyes for her own.
Lucius grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him. "Do you trust me, love?"
Narcissa looked at him and knew there was only one answer to that question. "Yes." She whispered.
He gently tugged on the string holding her robe together, letting it fall into a silky puddle across her feet.
"You are so beautiful," He murmured, gently holding her waist and slowly making his hands work upwards. Narcissa was barely breathing.
He raised her chin so that she could meet his gaze. "This is your first time, right, love?"
She buried certain memories so deep that even she cannot hear the lie in her voice. "Yes. Please be gentle, Lucius." She murmured.
He awarded her with a loving smile, then laid her on his bed, where every part of her can be seen by him.
He proceeded to kiss her; slowly at first, but then his lips started going down her neck, to her breasts… between her legs.
"Lucius, please," Narcissa pleaded as she felt Lucius' tongue in the most sensitive part of her body. She was heavily breathing and writhing around the bed, but Lucius kept his hands firm on her hips.
"You taste so good, my love," He paused from what he was doing to look at her, which can make even Narcissa blush a crimson red.
When she thought she was so close, Lucius stopped. He removed his clothes and towered over her.
"I love you so much, Cissa. Ever since we were kids, I've only ever had my eyes on you." He whispered to me, before taking my mouth with his.
He then eased himself into me, and it was so painful at first because of his length, but she eventually got used to it. "You're doing so great, love," he said, his breath hot as he buried his head on her neck.
Narcissa grabbed his fair hair and moaned. "Lucius, please," she pleaded once more.
He seemed to understand what she meant, because he quickened his thrusts. Her legs tightened around his waist as she scratched his back, while Lucius moaned loudly into her neck as both of them gave in to their release.
Lucius collapsed beside her, ushering Narcissa to lean on his arm.
She cuddled into his chest, spent from their recent activity. "That wasn't so bad for a first time, huh?" He grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes. "It might have been a first for me, but it obviously wasn't a first for you…"
Lucius grabbed her chin. There was an unusual blaze in his icy blue eyes. "I don't like to lie, love, and you know that. So believe me when I say that this was also my first time. I've only ever wanted to do it with you, Cissa, and you know that."
She bit her lip from releasing a painful cry. It was rare for Lucius to show vulnerability, so to admit to her that this was his first time when she lied had a very big hit on her conscience.
Narcissa chose to softly kiss him instead. "I know, love, and you were so wonderful."
He smiled at her. "I love you so much, Cissa. You don't know how much you drive me crazy. I'll never forget this night, and the way you look without your clothes on…"
She laughed at his audaciousness, but she couldn't bring herself to say those words to him. Everything was too recent, too raw. He would know that she was lying if she said those words, so she wisely chose to kiss him instead.
"I am so in love with you, Cissa… won't you say those words to me too?"
Narcissa's heart was palpitating by then, but she has mastered the art of letting her mind control her heart. Logic over emotion. So she responded with casual grace, as to be expected from her. She knew this little act wouldn't work on him, nothing worked on him, but she was putting it up for the benefit of the other people in the room.
"I would never lie to you, Lucius," Narcissa carefully replied, but by then Lucius' eyes turned into such an electric blue that she let out a little gasp.
Lucius grabbed the back of her head and brought his face directly next to hers so that no one but her can see his face or hear what he's about to say. "How dare you lie in front of my face, Narcissa? How dare you make a fool out of me? Do you think I will tolerate this, your heinous lies?" He spit out the last part, so obviously angered, so easily jealous, dear Lucius was.
Narcissa was about to reply when the compartment door opened. Severus entered, and surely enough, Otto was behind him. Her heart was beating fast once again, but this time, she couldn't hide it from Lucius, who was so close to her that her heart must have sounded like loud banging to his ears. "Lucius," Narcissa breathed, so utterly petrified of what Lucius is planning to do next, and yet still desperately pretending that everything was fine and that she and Lucius were just fooling around.
Then, he captured his lips with hers with surprising tenderness.
Narcissa caught Otto's eye, as he was watching the two of them, and closed her eyes. She can't escape this path she's chosen for herself. She and Lucius, they were and always will be entangled with one another, and that is the way it will always be.
"Okay, you two lovebirds, I think that's enough. Don't be rude in front of our visitor!" Bertha spoke rather loudly.
Lucius parted his lips from hers, their eyes simultaneously opening to meet each other. His eyes spoke of what he could not say at that very moment.
Behave.
Do not talk to him.
You are mine.
You will always be mine.
Never forget that.
Severus settled down his old seat, which was across Narcissa, while Otto had no other choice but to sit beside Bertha, who was already chatting his face off.
"Otto! It's been so long! Do you remember me?" Bertha said cheerfully.
He smiled politely, his dimples making a short appearance. "Yes, of course, Bertha Jorkins. How could I forget? I've only been gone for two years." He glanced at Narcissa then, wondering if she heard what he said.
Narcissa closed her eyes momentarily. She felt like she was ambushed and had nowhere to go.
Lucius took hold of her hand and gently squeezed it. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt reassured by that surprising act of affection.
"It seems you were quite close to the Blacks, weren't you, Otto?" Lucius asked him, with an unassuming smile.
Otto smiled with ease. "Indeed I was."
"I find it a bit peculiar, then, that I've never seen you around their household?" Bellatrix gave me a look which I refuse to reciprocate. Lucius went on, "Even before my engagement with Cissa, I was always present in their manor. I wonder why we never met then?"
Narcissa knew exactly why they haven't crossed paths before. It was simply because Otto's father, Bagman Sr., refused to let his only son out of his sight. Therefore, he would always ask that Narcissa and the other Blacks visit his manor, which was, without a doubt, bigger and grander than the Blacks.
"My father was a strict man, so instead of me visiting Cissa's manor, she, Bella, and Andromeda would go to mine instead." Otto replied without missing a beat.
Lucius' grip on her hand tightened. "They must not have frequently visited you then?"
Otto leaned backwards, as if to enjoy the scene unfolding in front of him. He turned to Bellatrix with an easy smile on his face. "How many times a week did you use to come by my house to play before, Bella? It can't have only been just once a week, can it?"
Bellatrix grinned. "Once a week? Oh, please, We were there five times a week, at least!" She turned to Lucius with an enthusiastic face. "It was such a shame you and Otto have never met before, Lucius. He and Cissy were so close before, closer than she was with my traitor cousin, Sirius—I bet the three of you would have gotten along spendidly! Right, Cissy?"
Narcissa chuckled. That situation was so amazingly impossible that her stoic facade broke for a few seconds.
"So you and Cissa used to be really close back then?" Lucius smiled, but Narcissa knew that smile. It was the kind of smile snakes would give to their preys before they went for the kill.
Otto truly looked at her then, and with what she knew from all those years they spent together was a sound of resignation, he replied with, "Yes, Lucius. We used to be inseparable."
She can almost hear him continue that sentence in her head: But what are we now? What have we become? Why can we not look at each other's eyes without deep regret and sorrow?
What have you done to us?
2 Years Ago, A Month Before The Engagement
It was a cold day, even colder than usual. Narcissa was huddled near the fireplace of the Bagman manor, annoyed with herself that she forgot to bring her coat because she was in a hurry for, apparently, nothing.
"Miss Narcissa, would you like a—"
She whipped her head towards the elf and snapped. "If I needed your help, don't you think I would have asked for it? Bugger on, you insolent elf," She returned to the solace of the fireplace. What was taking him so long? Honestly, this is so ridiculous. She shouldn't have to sit so unladylike just to absorb the warmth of this fire. Now she wouldn't have been in this predicament if she hadn't been rushing—
"Oh, this is a sight. Narcissa Black, the Ice Princess, master of the stoic face, crouching near a fireplace? Is this a nightmare, do you think?"
Her heartbeat went faster almost immediately, but outwardly, she kept her cool. Almost literally, she mused.
She stood up and faced the owner of the voice. Of course, she knew it was Otto Bagman, the only son of Bagman Sr., as everyone likes to call his father. The Bagmans were incredibly rich, even richer than her, which never fails to astounds Narcissa. Otto can probably buy Hogwarts if he wanted to, she thought.
Not only was Otto inexplicably rich, he was also annoyingly handsome. Narcissa would never admit this out loud, but Otto was even better-looking than Lucius or her cousin, Sirius, which is definitely saying something. Unlike Lucius' slicked back white blond or Sirius' artfully messy midnight black hair, Otto's hair is what can only be called a light brown colour, but neatly cut so that his wavy hair was tamed. His hair is paired swimmingly with his hazelnut eyes, which is actually Narcissa's favourite thing about him. His soft, alluring eyes were so different from the electric and icy blue ones she's seen all her life.
He smiled at her, a dimple showing on his left cheek. "You look terrible, Cissa."
She walked towards him, but with a frown on her face. "And whose fault do you think that is? I arrived at your home right on time, which made me forget my coat, by the way, which is why I'm freezing my arse off your stupid cold floors! Honestly, I am not surprised at all that you are late once again—"
He cut her off with a soft kiss on her lips. She could feel his smile when he felt her anger simmer down. She put her arm around his neck and deepened the kiss, wanting nothing more than be close to him as much as possible.
As they slowly disentangled themselves from each other, she could see his usually soft eyes glowing with hunger. "Please stop tempting me like that, love."
She put both her arms around his waist and looked up at him, partly because she dearly missed him, but mostly because she needed his body warmth. "But you've been gone for so long…" Her usual stoic demeanour always melts away whenever she's with Otto. With him, she's lively, talkative, and definitely touchier than usual.
She's constantly annoyed by the fact though, that, even though they were both only fifteen, Otto was already towering over her. He changed their position so that she was now in front of him, with Otto holding her by her waist. "I know... I would have stayed here with you if I could, but you know I don't really have much of a choice." He frowned.
Narcissa smiled softly. "I understand completely."
Otto grabbed her hand and led her towards one of the many love seats in his humongous manor. He sat down first and pulled her towards him, so that now he was looking up at her. "I've missed you so much," The longing in his eyes were so clear and true, that Narcissa knew he wasn't lying.
She held his face lovingly. No other words were needed to be said at this moment. Just the two of them looking at each other's eyes, hazelnut harmonising with an unusually peaceful grey, and all was right in the world once again.
But perhaps not everything was right in this world. Narcissa remembered why she rushed to his manor, so she disentangled herself from him, much to his disappointment, and sat beside him.
"Otto… there's something you need to know," She knew this moment was coming long before she met him, but it never fails to fill her with dread.
He faced her, and when she searched his carefully blank face, she knew that he already knew what she was about to say.
She looked down at their entwined fingers. "My father is growing impatient," she said softly.
Only the slight movements of the surrounding curtains can be heard throughout the silence.
Narcissa looked at him, with pain evident in her eyes. "He wants me to marry Lucius Malfoy.
He's always wanted that for me."
She could see Otto's jaw moving slightly. She would never ask him to to take her hand instead, not when she knew with all her heart that he loved his freedom more than anything.
And she was also afraid that if she asked, he might say no, and the pain she might get from that is something she fears she will never get over for the rest of her life.
"And what do you want, Cissa?" She looked at him when he suddenly replied. His eyes looked so strong and fierce at that moment. She wanted to get lost in them and never return this bleak reality she's fated to live in for the rest of her life.
"I love you, Otto Bagman. Perhaps I have always loved you, even when I despised you the first time we met. I love you with all of my heart, and much more.
But you know and understand as well as I do that duty trumps everything in my family. I have to obey my father's wishes," A tear escaped her left eye, as she let it run across her cheek.
He held her cheek. "But what do you want, my love?"
Narcissa could not control her tears any longer. "You know I can't ask that from my father, and especially from you."
He kissed her trembling lips. "I will give you anything you want from me, Narcissa. You say you despised me the moment we met, but I have only ever loved you. You treat elves like they are nothing but I know as much as you do that you order them around as least as you can because you don't wish to cause them discomfort. You say you agree with your family's belief towards the eradication of muggle borns, yet I know that you secretly spend time with Sirius so that he can talk your ears off about how the muggle borns you are familiar with are doing. You say you wish Andromeda was never your sister, but I've seen you silently help her whenever you can. You can pretend to the entire world, my love, but I can see through everything that you do.
You are so beautiful and clever, but none of those can compare to your heart, which has remained untainted despite the dark armour you stubbornly wear around it. I am so lucky to have seen those parts of you, and I would gladly give away my love for freedom if it meant that I will be with you for the rest of my life."
Narcissa couldn't even think of a response for what he said.
"Please don't marry him, Cissa. Marry me instead."
He fished something out of his pockets. It was a beautiful necklace, and it had easily cost him more than a thousand galleons. It had a simple chain, but instead of a typical pendant, there was a diamond ring.
"So am I supposed to assume that your silence means yes?" He weakly joked.
Narcissa nodded her head and continued to cry. He grinned, and put the necklace on her.
"I'll talk to your father tomorrow. He has to say yes." She looked at him and both their eyes held so much promise and hope for one another.
This is it. Maybe she'll marry the one she loves after all.